Altered States of America - Designs by the Disturbed, To Disturb the Comfortable

1 - I can do better 2 - Jury's out 3 - Pretty darn good 4 - Splendiferous 5 - Awesometastic by 2 people | Log in to rate

Ranked #8,291 in Shopping, #100,838 overall

T-shirts That Piss People Off

At Altered States of America, we have just one real mission (besides sitting around in our underwear watching TV): creating original, witty, and thought-provoking shirt designs. OK, we're not feeding the poor in Calcutta or anything, but we've noticed that it seems to be harder for some people than others, and a lot of those people seem to work on the t-shirts that go up for sale at Wal-Mart or whatever. Go ahead, visit those shirt shops in the mall. Notice how you seem to see the same design over and over? How the printing or shirt quality is shoddy? How only a few of them even raise a smile?


We here at Altered States of America have what we deem to be an indespensible quality for t-shirt design: sick, warped minds. That, plus a willingness to put our random psychotic episodes into graphic form, enables you, the consumer, to wear designs that can't be found in your local mall, printed on tagless, comfortable, quality shirts.


So, come on in and browse all you want. We pledge we won't hover over you or come by every 3 minutes, asking, "Can I help you?" to which you'll scream shrilly, "NO ONE CAN HELP ME!! THEY'RE CRAWLING BEHIND MY EYES!!" Well, maybe that's just us. If you are sick of t-shirts, wear old sweaters, or are a nudist, we have a great selection of bumper stickers, hats, framed prints, posters and other merchandise that may just tickle your fancy. Not that we want anything to do with anyone's fancy.

Altered States of America 

The Actual Shop

Everyone loves t-shirts. They cover with a minimum of fuss and a maximum of comfort, plus they allow us to nonverbally express ourselves. Complicated graphics designs or just text, universal themes or an esoteric message for a small, disturbed clientele, the designs I've created for my shop have all come out of the 3 pounds of gray matter on top of my neck, and will blow away anything from Wal-Mart, which I realize isn't all that hard. Come on in and get the full effect.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Poll: What about polls? 

Give your opinion about Squidoo polls.

Loading poll. Please Wait...

Great Stuff on Altered States of America 

Slap these on your torso!

Below are the latest outrages, sure to inspire the villagers to chase you with torches and pitchforks. Plus, we have hundreds of other torch-worthy designs.

Gay Marriage Dark T-Shirt

Gay marriage is a bit creepy with dudes, but gets intriguing when it becomes two chicks.

Price: 25.99 Buy Now

Child Mind Organic Women's T-Shirt (dark)

If you have to have the mind of a child, remember to preserve it properly.

Price: 32.99 Buy Now

Beat a Millionaire Organic Men's Fitted T-Shirt

Would you like to beat a millionaire? Like, say, one the subprime mortgage people? If not, look at your 401K value again. Perhaps a few manly thwacks with a bat would encourage more fiscal responsibility.

Price: 27.99 Buy Now

Straight Pride Dark T-Shirt

Time for breeders to demand rights, too. Take pride in your ability to produce children. You're already doing it right, so why be made to feel ashamed? Drive leather-clad catamites to flight. Maybe we should have a Straight Pride Parade!!

Price: 25.99 Buy Now

Monday Dark T-Shirt

"Somebody's got a case of the Mondays!" You may have this affliction regularly, as well. This helpful shirt has all holes labeled, and come with a handy going-out-the-door checklist, printed upside down to make going where you have to go with what you need a snap!

Price: 25.99 Buy Now

Powered by CafePress

Bumper Stickers 

Slap these on your fender!

Are you the type of person who loves bumper stickers? Like to see the shocked expressions on the driver behind you in the rear view? Browse through our collection of great designs!
Powered by CafePress

Great Prints and Posters 

Slap these on your wall!

Dress up your walls with great quality prints and posters!

Teton House Large Framed Print

Old, abandoned house on farmstead in Wyoming, near Grand Teton National Park.

Price: 44.99Buy Now

Teton Barn Large Framed Print

Beautiful photo of barn in Mormon Row area near Grand Tetons in Wyoming.

Price: 44.99Buy Now

Teton Barn 2 Small Framed Print

Beautiful photograph of a barn in the Mormon Row area near the Grand Tetons in Wyoming.

Price: 41.99Buy Now

Backpacking Small Framed Print

Beautiful photo of two hikers on a trail in the White Mountains. Good gift for a backpacker you know.

Price: 41.99Buy Now

Powered by CafePress

Crap Nobody Will Read 

You may now shower us with praise and adulation

sixgun wrote...

Thanks for the guestbook message. Good luck this year and merry Christmas![in reply to sandyspider]

ReplyPosted December 12, 2008

sandyspider wrote...

I belong to the ASKCP group as well. This is the lens that is with the group http://www.squidoo.com/christmas-holiday-gifts And I just created a new lensm let me know what you think. http://www.squidoo.com/santa-history

Great stuff! I feel a little Altered States!

ReplyPosted December 11, 2008

adventuresinautism wrote...

Hi there, Your stuff is very funny, I just joined the Alliance of Shopkeepers on CP so I have a Cafepress shop too. Good luck with marketing and getting traffic to your shop. I hope you do very well.

Best Regards,
Chris

ReplyPosted December 11, 2008

Squid-Squeezer wrote...

You have some cool T-shirts there - welcome to the Best Tshirts Ever group!

ReplyPosted August 13, 2008

faithcreations wrote...

Nice Lens! Welcome to the "SHOP AT HOME" group! Faith

ReplyPosted August 12, 2008

 
1 of 2 pages

by sixgun

I was born in a hospital. I grew up. I had a wonderful life, but with an unfulfilled itch: t-shirt design. I've always loved t-shirts - nonverbally... (more)
Create a Lens!