A Mommy Weight-loss Diary

Hello Everyone,

My name is Wendy, I'm 27 years old and a mother of 2 wonderful boys.

As for my weight well, I had always been "skinny", I could eat and never worry about my weight. I was very active in highschool, with cheerleading, stilts, ballet, track, and even preparing for plays and talent shows.

When I got pregnant with my first son, 6 years ago (July 2003) I was so naive, I thought that after I had my son my body would bounce back to normal, after all at 5 months pregnant (17 wks) I was 107 lbs. The day I delivered my son I weighed 198 lbs, my heaviest ever, even to this day. After this, I was done having kids, sad but it's how I thought. I mean, how could I be a good mom, if I barely had any energy to get up let alone chase after him? I hit a severe depression, I couldn't stand walking by a mirror.  I tried every diet, and once I stopped breastfeeding, I believe I just about tried every diet pill out there.

It took me 2 years after I had my son to lose weight, and it all started to happen when my ex husband finally agreed and signed the divorce papers back in 2006, I was slowly regaining my freedom and my life. One of my 2 wonderful and beautiful best-friends and I took pictures for myspace, and I was horrified by what I saw. I was done! End of April 2006 I decided to do whatever it took to lose it. At that point I was 168 lbs. I was wearing 16's and they were tight. Ugh! I started working out all the time, and signed up for 2 different aerobic classes at the college on top of my 14 units of my reg classes. In between work, school and my son I thought I was going to die. I stopped eating, and would only consume water and sunflower seeds. I'm ashamed to admit that, but I can't just press the delete button and pretend it never happened. I went down to 135 lbs by July. In September, I was eating again, and I was 130 lbs, by the end of October I found out I WAS PREGNANT AGAIN!!! OMG!!!   I was terrified my body wasn't baby ready.

This time, I went up to 175 lbs, and I was active during pregnancy, except for my bedrest after going into preterm labor at 30 wks. That really messed me up. I now weigh 140 lbs. I have gone psycho excersizing, and counting calories, and doing about everything possible and safe cause I'm breastfeeding. My ultimate goal is to go down to 115 lbs. I have 25 lbs to go, and I've lost 35 lbs so far. I will do just about anything and everything to lose the remaining weight, I want to run after my kids, go shopping and be able to wear sexy lingerie for my boyfriend and keep the lights ON and the hands covering me off me! lol I want to be healthy and happy again. To run 2.5 miles in 15 minutes, and not feel like I'm dying. I could do all that before, and I know I'll get there again.