Anger Humor Anger Management Jokes

A manager comes home very grumpy. His wife asks what has happened.
The manager says: The worker I can scream and shout to didn't show up today.

A policeman stops a driver and asks "Why didn't you slow down and stop at the sign?" The driver says, "Slow down, stop- what's the difference..."
The policeman gets very angry and starts hitting the car with the truncheon: "Do you want me to stop, or to slow down?"

A doctor tells his patient, "Show your tongue through the window". The patient says, "How can this help?" -"I hate the neighbors".

A patient tells the doctor "I can't hold my temper". "How long do you have this condition?" "Who are you to ask?!!""

A young employee comes home and says, " I wished today I could hit my boss in the face again". His wife asks, "Again? Have you hit him before?!!" "I have wished I'd hit him", he answers.

A young employee plays golf with his boss. Every time his boss makes a good shot the dog of the boss stands on his back paws and claps enthusiastically with the front paws. The young man surprised asks, How did you teach him? And what does he do when you miss? "Rolls over" the boss said. "Rolls over? How many times" -"It depends on how many times I kick him", the boss answered.

A knight kneels down to his king, "Your majesty, all the villages of your enemies in the north are burned down". The king says, "But I don't have any enemies in the north?" The knight silently says "Not till today, your majesty"...

A soldier gets a letter from his girlfriend asking him to send her back the picture, because she wants to break up with him. The soldier collected several girls' pictures, sent them to her and asked "Please keep yours and send me back the rest, I can't recall who you were".

The mother: Son, could you please bring me some dishes? There's something I need to talk to your dad about...

In the court the judge asks "Why did you have to hit your wife with a hammer?" The man says, "We all are the smiths of our happiness..."


divorce joke for women by jimbuf

A young man walks with a baby stroller with a crying baby inside. The young man speaks quietly,"Calm down George, don't scream, George, quiet, George!" An elderly woman passing by stops and tells him, "I see you are really patient with your son George"...The man answers, "I am George".

An angry man shouts to his wife:"What?!! And I skipped my anger management class for you?!!"


Warning : I Failed Anger Management by TheBigTees

A psychiatrist calms down his patient: "Don't worry, it's not you! It's just the sociopath inside of you."


Inner Peace thru Compulsive Gambling by alittleblack

A client shares with his doctor: "Your anger management techniques piss me off!"

What is a very patient man?- A group of psychiatrists decided to try and see how long a very patient man will keep his temper.
The first day they left him with no food.
The next day they gave him no water.
He kept calm.
The next day they left him in the dark, with no light. He still kept calm.
The next day they told him they would hang him up the next day. The man calmly asked, "Do I bring the rope?"


Inner Peace thru Compulsive Eating by alittleblack
A commission visits In a psychiatric hospital. A little boy stands in one of the rooms. The doctors ask, "What's your name?"-"Michael", the boy cries out hysterically.":Leave me alone!"

A year later, the commission visits the hospital again. They enter the boy's room, and ask again: "What's your name?"-"Michael", the boy says.
"He's made a wonderful progress", the doctors say. How did you do that?"-"I don't know. Leave me alone!"- the doctor cries out.