Anger Management In Children

When it comes to anger management in children, the younger you start them, the better for both you and your child. All children learn how to express strong emotions such as anger by imitating others, especially their parents - and we all need to learn not only how to cope with anger ourselves, but to successfully pass on our anger management skills to our children. When parents fail to teach young children how to manage anger, they end up as angry teens and troubled adults.

Modern life with its fast paced demands and occasional violence exposes our kids to high levels of stress and anxiety. They become angry because they can't cope and the response can swing from mild irritation all the way up to intense rage. One of the toughest first steps in helping your child to manage anger is recognize what's actually happening. Children's individual anger responses vary enormously but often include:

- Physical aggression such as hitting and kicking.
- Crying, screaming and temper tantrums.
- Verbal aggression such yelling and swearing.
- Avoidance tactics; running away or giving parents and friends the "silent treatment"

Once you recognize that your child has an anger management problem the next step is helping them to cope better. Here are 7 simple anger management tips to help you get started.

#1 The first rule of anger management for children is: Stay calm and manage your own anger first and do not take your child's anger personally. You can't help your child manage their anger when you're angry yourself. Walk away from an angry situation for a minute and cool down. A few deep breathes can help you settle down and handle your child's anger calmly. Think about what triggers your own anger - knowing what sets you off allows you to think ahead and plan "calmer" responses when tantrums occur.

#2 It's important to remain firm over the direct issue at hand. Giving in to a young child's supermarket tantrum when they want something, just to keep them quiet, is a huge mistake. In the child's mind they are being rewarded for their angry behavior and it just makes it more likely next time.

#3 Try to distract your child from angry behavior rather than give in to their demands. It's important to remain in control of the situation and above all keep your child safe from injury.

#4 Get your child to talk about why they are angry and also keep an eye out for less obvious reasons for their anger. Look for recent alterations in your child's routine or changes to household or school situations that might explain the anger. The important thing to remember is not to judge your child but to discuss what happened and learn how the child feels about it.

#5 Once you find the cause of your child's anger you're in a better position to find a solution. All children need guidance on how best to respond to anger problems and one of the best options is to encourage rewards for more appropriate behavior. Extra helpings of their favorite pastimes like extra TV time or a favorite food or toys make good rewards and keep your child motivated to change.

#6 Older kids and teenagers also need to learn how to handle anger issues away from home, especially at school. Here your role is to listen and act as a mentor. You need to help older children understand what triggered their anger response and how better to better handle things in the future.

#7 All children, including teenagers need firm boundaries. They need to know that certain behaviors such as profanity and physical violence will not be tolerated. Clearly work out what you both regard as appropriate and inappropriate behaviors.

Anger management is a critical skill that your child must learn early and parents need to be good role models. Children who see parents handling anger well will be encouraged to learn how to manage their own anger better.