Anita Renfroe: Lyrics to In Tha Muthahood mom song

Once upon a time
when I was just a little girl
I couldn't wait to grow up
Rock somebody's world
Get a husband and a hizzouse
and a happy family
like the mom who made it


look so easy on my TV:
June Cleaver, Libby* Walton,
Claire Huxtable, Mrs. C,
Lovely ladies, even stepmom
Carol Brady had it going on!

Always right, kept it tight
no matter what went wrong
Packed their lunches every day
in a brown sack,
Had supper on the table every
night, Mack
Wore the pearls while they
dusted off the knick-knacks.
Picket fence, perfect kids
And time to chill-lax.
But the writers out in Hollywood
must be wacked! Oh yeah!
They kind of failed to tell us the facts.
What they shoulda said is
"Hey. If you adopt or give birth
you move into the craziest place
on this Earth!

It's called Tha Muthahood!
Hey you got you some kids
Yeah, Tha Muthahood
You sleep life hits the skids
You in Tha Muthahood
Yeah, you in it for real
Don't let 'em hit you when they
rate you in your Mom-mobile.
In Tha Muthahood
We ain't afraid of your germs
Up in Tha Muthahood
We straight-up treat you for worms
We used to be fly shawtys
looking good
but now we're living crazy in
tha Muthahood!

When you were expecting
this ain't what they told you
to expect
This is for the moms who
need four hands
and eyeballs
in the back of the neck.
Let me break it down for
you honey: give you
a reality check.


Here we go...
So now I wake up
every morning
throw the hair up
in a ponytail
Catch 'em riding dirty
swipe it shove it
in the diaper pail.
Throw OJ and Froot Loops
in the general direction
with gummy vitamins

to help 'em
fight off infection.
Check their homework
and their ear dirt
pack for soccer today,
bounce them out the door
so we won't be late.
I drive carpool
at least 20 times a day
recite the house rules
I'm loadin' laundry every day
and every night, fool.
I can name every
vaccine they ever had.
And I can sniff
when the milk jug
is going bad.
I know where stuff is
before they even ask me
It's Mom ESP.

I clip coupons every week
and take 'em to the store
I got Apple Bottom jeans
'cause I sat on a core.
I got street cred
four-square and hippity scotch
you know I'm bad
because I'm chairman
of the neighborhood watch
I got ice for the boo-boos
and bandaids by the box

I'm like the FBI for
finding all the missing socks.
If my kids give me lip
you know
I flip the script
They've got to show respect
for stretch marks they've put
upon these hips.

I got a Facebook alias
to spy on my teens
I'm a human lie detector
so just the facts please.
I'm a mama bear
and all the mamas agree
If you messin' with my kids
you straight-up messin' with me!

Up in the Muthahood
Don't let 'em
end up on Springer
Here in tha Muthahood
the only bling is
glitter on my fingers.
In tha Muthahood
We ain't playin'
but we do
if you askin' for allowance
you just trippin' Boo
In tha Muthahood

we make the sweet PBJs
In tha Muthahood
we bust a cap on toothpaste

We're multi-tasking
thanks for asking
'cuz we're just that good,
takin' names and
kicking bootay
in tha Mothahood
Peace out!

Words by Anita Renfroe Copyright 2011 Bluebonnet Hills Music/BMI