Anniversary Reaction - When Remembering Isn't Always a Happy Occasion
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Understanding the Anniversary Response
Coping with the anniversary of the death of a loved one, the loss of a public figure, dealing with the aftermath of a natural disaster such as Hurricane Katrina or the national trauma of September 11, 2001 can be difficult for the family, the friends and the loved ones left behind.
Whether it's the first, the sixth, the tenth or the umpteenth anniversary of a death or a tragedy, for survivors it can be quite challenging to make it through the days and even weeks leading up to the anniversary and then to make it through the actual day of the anniversary. Remembering, recalling and reliving a tragic loss or traumatic event can be very difficult.
This lens was written to provide general information about the normal anniversary reaction along with helpful suggestions for coping prior to and on the actual date of the anniversary.
Photo Source: Brian Lary. Blue Flame. Royalty Free Use.
Contents for the Anniversary Reaction Lens
- August to September - A Time for Many Anniversaries
- Anniversary Reaction - A Brief Definition
- Definition of an Anniversary Reaction
- Common Responses with Anniversary Reaction
- Basic Strategies for Coping with a Difficult Anniversary
- Keep the Flame Burning
- Ways of Coping on the Date of the Anniversary
- Ways of Healing Following a Major Loss
- Most People Feel Better Within a Week or Two
- Articles on the Anniversary Reactions
- Helpful Books for Surviving Anniversaries and the Holidays
- Ways of Remembering September 11, 2001
- Resources on Coping After a Tragedy
- Anniversaries are Particularly Difficult
- A Lens on Diana Princess of Wales
- Remembering Steve Irwin on Flickr
- Remembering Steve Irwin on November 15
- Hurricane Katrina A Significant Anniversary
- Remembering Hurricane Katrina
- Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross on Mourning
- Learning to Live Again
Anniversary Dates Cause Nervousness
Quotes on Anniversary Reaction
- Nervousness is building ahead
of the one-year anniversary of September 11,
and it's bound to continue
until we get that date behind us.
Art Hogan
Photo Source: Kevin Smith. Honor the Fallen. Royalty Free Use.
August to September - A Time for Many Anniversaries
Times to Remember those who have Died
- * The 3rd year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina (August 29, 2005)
* The 11th year anniversary of the death of Princess Diana (August 31, 1997)
* The 2nd year anniversary of the death of Steve Irwin (Sept 4, 2006)
* The 11th year anniversary of the death of Mother Teresa (September 5, 1997)
* The 7th year of September 11th (Sept 11, 2002)
Coping with the anniversary of the death of a loved one or a public tragedy such as the Fall 2005 hurricanes or the national trauma of September 11, 2001 can be very challenging for those left behind.
Anniversary Reaction - A Brief Definition
Dictionary.com defines an Anniversary reaction as
A psychological reaction, as depression, occurring at a regularly fixed time and associated with the recollection of an emotionally upsetting past experience, as loss of a loved one.

Frayed Heart
The Secret Anniversaries of the Heart
Quotes on Anniversary Reaction

The holiest of all holidays
are those kept by ourselves
in silence and apart;
the secret anniversaries of the heart.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Photo Source: Sophie. Heart. Royalty Free Use.
Definition of an Anniversary Reaction
An Increase in Distressing Memories of the Event
It is important for the person experiencing these intense feelings to realize these types of reactions are usually normal anniversary reactions.
Formal Definition - Anniversary Reaction
The National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder provides the following formal definition of an Anniversary Reaction:
- On the anniversary of traumatic events, some people may find that they experience an increase in distressing memories of the event. These memories may be triggered by reminders, but memories may also seem to come from out of the blue while at work, home, or doing recreational activities. An increase in distress around the anniversary of a traumatic event is commonly known as an "anniversary reaction" and can range from feeling mildly upset for a day or two to a more extreme reaction in which an individual experiences significant psychiatric or medical symptoms.
More on Loss, Grief and Bereavement
Understanding about loss and grief can make coping with it a little easier.-
Loss, Grief and Bereavement
-
Loss is the disappearance of something cherished, often the death of a person, loss of a relationship, loss of a job or loss of health. Grief is the entire response--mind, body and spirit--to the loss. Bereavement is the often term used when the loss...
Common Responses with Anniversary Reaction
Feelings, Emotions & Symptoms Experienced Before or Around an Anniversary
Common Anniversary Reactions Responses may also include:
- * Regret
* Sadness
* Frustration
* Anger
* Fear
* Nightmares
* Depression
* Flashbacks
* Anxiety
* Headaches
* Sleep disturbances
* Eating disorders
* Avoidance of reminders of the disaster
* Reflection on the way in which life has changed
Anniversary Candles on Flickr
Candle Tributes for those who have Died. Candles Lit in Memory of Princess Diana, Steve Irwin, Mother Teresa, September 11th and Hurricane Katrina
Basic Strategies for Coping with a Difficult Anniversary
How to Make it Through the Days Leading Up to the Anniversary Date
- Talk with others about your thoughts and feelings. Talking with others is one way that many people find helpful in the healing process.
- Take time to relax.
- Focus on rebuilding yourself and/or your community.
- Take care of your health.
- Make time to attend to the needs of family, especially children.
- Limit your exposure to news reports about tragic events, especially if you find yourself becoming more anxious, sad or distressed by watching news coverage.
- Focus on the good times you shared with your loved one, rather than the loss.
More on Coping with a Loss, Crisis or Life-Changing Event
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How to Cope with Loss and Grief - Healthy Coping Strategies
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When faced with a loss, crisis or life-changing event, you are suddenly thrust into an unfamiliar world, one that can be frightening and unsettling. Knowing how to make it through the first few days or hours can help. This lens offers articles and re...

Keep the Flame Burning
Ways of Coping on the Date of the Anniversary
Activities and Ideas for Getting Through the Anniversary Date
- Gather with friends and families reminisce and tell favorite stories or memories about the person who has died.
- Plan a remembrance service, celebration of life or find a special way of honoring the loved one lost.
- Take flowers to the grave site, memorial site or location of the tragedy.
- Plan a distraction, such as a weekend away or a visit with friends or relatives.
- Create a road side memorial for a love one who has died in a car accident.
- Make a donation to a charitable organization in the person's name on birthdays or holidays.
- Build an ofrenda or altar with portraits, personal goods, clothing, favorite foods and possessions of the deceased family member.
- Make a toast or say a prayer or blessing at the start of a family meal.
- Listen to their favorite music.
- Light a candle.
- Look at old photos or videos.
- Share memories over tea.
- Plant a tree.
- Establish a scholarship.
- Dedicate a bench or plaque.
- Write letters or a journal to the loved one to express your feelings.
- Create a new tradition. This can be very helpful during the holidays. Instead of celebrating the same place and the same way as when the loved one was alive, find a new place and a new way.
Remembering the Anniversary Alone
Quotes on Anniversary Reaction

- The next two anniversaries,
I will be sitting
at home
by myself.
Debra Shaw
Photo Source: Stephie S. DayDream. Royalty Free Use.
The Worldwide Candle Lighting - Remembering Children
A way of remembering children who have died.-
Worldwide Candle Lighting
-
Every year, since 1997, on the second Sunday in December The Compassionate Friends (TCF) hold a Worldwide Candle Lighting in memory of all children who have died too soon. On this day people around the world are encouraged to light a candle to so tha...
The Peace Tower - Remembering John Lennon
A beautiful way of remembering John Lennon on his birthday in 2008.-
Imagine Peace Tower - Celebrating Peace
-
October 9th 2007 on would have been John Lennon's 67th birthday, Yoko Ono unveiled the Imagine Peace Tower on Videy Island in Reykjavik, Iceland as a way of encouraging global peace. The Imagine Peace Tower is dedicated to her late husband, John Lenn...
Ways of Healing Following a Major Loss
- Create a way of honoring the loved one who has died. (See the Coping During Times of Stress for suggestions.)
- Start new holiday traditions. Find a new place and a new way to celebrate.
- Find a way to symbolize or express grief--creatively or otherwise. Expressing the grief, even just in writing or in art, may be a better way of coping than than denying or avoiding it.
- Start an organization or cause in your loved one's memory.
- Volunteer your time and/or talents. Helping others can be very healing.
- Donate in memory of a loved one. Many worthy organizations benefit survivors and victims.
- Attend public memorials and ceremonies that mark the anniversary of the tragedy, disaster or other event. Organized ceremonies draw survivors together and allow them to share feelings with others who have been through the same traumatic experience.
- Allow yourself to experience feelings of sorrow, sadness and the sense of loss.
- Take time to be alone with your thoughts, in remembrance or in prayer.
Most People Feel Better Within a Week or Two

- Most people will feel better within a week or two after the anniversary. Over time, the stress symptoms will decrease in both frequency and severity.
People may find it helpful to make specific plans for the anniversary day so that they have other things to occupy their time besides memories of the event.
Some may choose to participate in a commemorative ceremony such as visiting a grave, making a charitable donation, giving blood, helping others, or dedicating the day to spending time with family.
Hamblen J, Friedman M, Schnurr P. 2007. Anniversary Reactions: A National Center for PTSD Fact Sheet. National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Image Source: Beniamin Pop. Composition. Royalty Free Use.
Remembering the Anniversaries of their Deaths
A collection of lenses that I have created to remember those who have died, who had an impact on my life-
Diana Princess of Wales
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I was one of the thousands of people, who were stunned and in shock 10 years ago by the tragic death of Princess Diana and then a few days later the death of Mother Teresa. As I watched the enormous worldwide outpouring of grief for the deaths of the...
-
Freddie Mercury and Queen Video Showcase
-
On November 24, 1991 the world lost one of the greatest musical voices of all times with the passing of Freddie Mercury, the lead singer for the group Queen. An energetic and entertaining showman, Freddie Mercury is often referred to as "...
-
Steve Irwin
-
Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, was a bigger than life personality. Passionate and enthusiastic about everything that he did and the way that he lived. Perhaps that is why it was so hard for people to believe the news of his unexpected death. ...
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James Kim
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The Kim Family story was one that gripped people's attention in late November 2006. The family went missing November 25 when they took a wrong turn traveling home to San Francisco after spending Thanksgiving in Portland. At the time of the story more...
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Imagine - Remembering John Lennon 1940 - 1980
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John Lennon's anthem of peace and hope has been one of my favorite songs since college. This is a collection of many different versions of one of the greatest songs of peace of all times "Imagine." News of his sudden death in 1980 came during finals...
Articles on the Anniversary Reactions
Understanding Survivors Response to Anniversary Dates
The anniversary reaction can involve several days or even weeks of anxiety, anger, nightmares, flashbacks, depression, or fear.
- Anniversary Reactions
- National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Fact Sheet on Anniversary Reactions.
- Anniversary Reactions to a Traumatic Event: The Recovery Process Continues
- An article on Anniversary Reaction from the National Mental Health Information Center, Center for Mental Health Services.
- Anniversary Reactions: A Survivor's Guide on How to Cope
- From the Gift From Within Website an article written by Angie Panos, PhD on Anniversary Reactions.
- What Is An Anniversary Reaction?
- Anniversary reactions predictably occur on the anniversary of a particular date. An anniversary reaction is an abbreviated version of your grief that comes as if to remind you that resolving a loss takes longer than any of us would like. From the Strength for Caring site.
- What Is An Anniversary Reaction? - Strength for Caring
- Anniversary reactions predictably occur on the anniversary of a particular date.
Helpful Books for Surviving Anniversaries and the Holidays
Available on Amazon
Ways of Remembering at the Holidays - Remembrance Ornaments
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Peace Ornaments - Hope Ornaments - Ornaments to Remember
-
A special selection of Ornaments Ornaments to inspire peace to honor and remember loved ones who are facing challenges or have died year 'round. Some of the Ornaments are designed for high quality porcelain and available through Cafe Press stores; oth...
Remembering on the Anniversary of September 11, 2001
Quotes on the Anniversary Reaction

- On the fourth anniversary of the Sept. 11th attack here in New York City, we plan to mark this solemn occasion by asking siblings to take the lead in this year's ceremony.
In this small way, we acknowledge the special bonds they share with their beloved brothers and sisters who died that day.
Michael Bloomberg
Ways of Remembering September 11, 2001
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My Good Deed - Change the World
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How will you remember 9/11? Pledge your good deed for 9/11 in memory of those lost September 11, 2001 and turn 9/11 into a national day of service and compassion. My Good Deed is a non-profit public benefit corporation that was founded in 2002 to hon...
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Remember September Mail Art Project
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This Creative, Commemorative Mail Art Project was developed by Gail Ellspermann in 2002 as a way for people to remember those who had died on September 11, 2001. Through the use of art, participants are encouraged to express their feelings and refl...
Resources on Coping After a Tragedy
- Grief: Coping with reminders after a loss
- A helpful article from MayoClinic.com on grief. After someone close dies, reminders can reignite your grief. Learn to cope, heal.
- NIMH: Coping with Traumatic Events
- The National Institute of Mental Health conducts and supports research not only on a wide range of mental health disorders, but also on reactions to national crises and traumatic events.
- CSTS (Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress) Resources
- From the Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress a collection of pdf file Fact Sheets on topics relating to Response and Recovery, Stress Management, Interventions and Treatment and Workplace Preparedness.
Two Widows Living Beyond the 11th
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Patricia Quigley and Susan Retik 9/11 Widows Live Beyond the 11th
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Turning a tragedy into a tribute is one of the ways for survivors to keep going and and keep living after the traumatic loss of a loved one. Introducing my superheroes...Patricia Quigley and Susan Retik, two 9/11 widows on a heroic mission to overco...
Recommended Books from Those Left Behind After September 11, 2001
Available on Amazon
Remembering September 11, 2001 Six Years Later
Sixth Anniversary of The September 11th Tragedy
- September 11, 2007: Commemoration Activities and Memorials
- A listing of Commemoration Activities and Memorials planned for the sixth Anniversary of September 11, 2002, listed by State. From the Families of September 11.
- Education World: Lesson Planning: Remembering September 11
- Education World offers five lessons to help teachers commemorate the anniversary of the September 11, 2001, attack on the United States. These lessons will keep alive the spirit of patriotism and tolerance stimulated by the events of 9/11.
- Remembering September 11 - CBS News
- Remembering September 11 with images over several Anniversary Events from CBSNews.com
- 9-11 Anniversary Reaction
- 9-11 Anniversary Reactions, from an interview with Dr. Frank Ochberg, Founder of Gift From Within.
Anniversaries are Particularly Difficult
Quotes on the Anniversary Response

- I do find
the anniversaries particularly difficult,
as do all our family.
Charles, Earl Spencer
Brother of Diana, Princess of Wales
Photo Source:
Nic Pepsi. The Round Lake. Some Rights Reserved. Creative Commons.
A Lens on Diana Princess of Wales
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Diana Princess of Wales
-
I was one of the thousands of people, who were stunned and in shock 10 years ago by the tragic death of Princess Diana and then a few days later the death of Mother Teresa. As I watched the enormous worldwide outpouring of grief for the deaths of the...
Deep Sorrow and Lasting Pain behind the Faces
Remembering Steve Irwin

- Behind the positive faces they have shown the world since that dreadful day, there can be no doubt there is still deep sorrow and lasting pain.
Sydney's Daily Telegraph
A New Tradition - Wear Khakis on Steve Irwin Day
A fitting and unique way of remembering a passionate conservationist.-
Wear Khaki on November 15 for Steve Irwin Day
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Grab your khakis mate and don them on November 15 as a tribute to Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, Wildlife Warrior and Passionate Conservationist. November 15 was chosen by Steve's wife Terri Irwin as a commemorative day to honor the life of her...
Remembering Steve Irwin on November 15
A Day to Honor the Crocodile Hunter

Terri Irwin proposed November 15 as a commemorative day in honor of her husband, with suggested family activities including wearing khaki and camping in the backyard.
The day will represent the many things Steve was passionate about. Get ready to don you khaki's mate.
- Steve Irwin Day - November 15
- Steve Irwin Day, November 15, a day for remembering the Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin. The day will represent the many things Steve was passionate about. Get involved in a number of ways including visiting Australia Zoo, having a Back Yard Campout or donning your khakis for Khaki Day.
Hurricane Katrina A Significant Anniversary
Quotes on Anniversary Reaction

- I've heard some people say we can't do it.
But it's a very significant anniversary and I can't imagine it going unmarked without some kind of parade.
It's in our soul to have Mardi Gras.
Arthur Hardy
Voice of Mardi Gras
Photo Source: Amanda Barbarich. A Tribute. Royalty Free Use.
A Squidoo Lens Featuring the Book Relief and Book Relief Efforts
Rebuilding lives...one new book at a time
The Book Relief Initiative, sponsored by First Book is putting books back into the hands of the children impacted by Hurricane Katrina.-
First Book - Book Relief - Every Child Deserves a Bedtime Story
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Can you remember the magic of owning your first book? This is the mission of First Book, a nonprofit organization whose mission is to give children the opportunity to read and own their own first new book. First Book provide an ongoing supply of new b...
Remembering Hurricane Katrina
Two Years After This Natural Disaster
- Restoring Homes and Hope along the Gulf Coast
- The American Red Cross helps keep people safe every day as well as in an emergency thanks to caring people who support our work in the community. Please support your local Red Cross
- A Year of Healing: The American Red Cross Response to Hurricanes Katrina, Rita and Wilma
- A downloadable PDF File brochure that is a tribute to the hope, dedication and relief that survivors of the 2005 Hurricane Season received in the days, months and year after the natural disasters hit the Gulf Coast.
- NOLA.com: Hurricane Katrina Archive
- Remembering Katrina Two Years Later from the New Orleans.com (Nola.com)
One Year Anniversary
Quotes on the Anniversary Reaction

- I think the year anniversary
kind of puts an end to
that period of time when the mourning is over.
Laura Dunham
Photo Source: Hillary Gracier. Me. Royalty Free Use.
Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross on Mourning
Quotes on Anniversary Reaction
- People in mourning have to come to grips with death before they can live again. Mourning can go on for years and years. It doesn't end after a year, that's a false fantasy.
It usually ends when people realize that they can live again, that they can concentrate their energies on their lives as a whole, and not on their hurt, and guilt and pain.
Elisabeth Kubler Ross, MD
A Yearly Tribute for Remembering Children Who Have Died
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Worldwide Candle Lighting
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Every year, since 1997, on the second Sunday in December The Compassionate Friends (TCF) hold a Worldwide Candle Lighting in memory of all children who have died too soon. On this day people around the world are encouraged to light a candle to so tha...
More Lenses on Coping with Grief and Loss
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Help a Child Cope with Loss and Grief
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Children and adolescents are not immune to facing loss, death, dying and grief; they encounter loss and will experience a grief response. Much as we, as parents and teacher, might want to protect and shelter children and try to create a world for the...
-
Loss, Grief and Bereavement
-
Loss is the disappearance of something cherished, often the death of a person, loss of a relationship, loss of a job or loss of health. Grief is the entire response--mind, body and spirit--to the loss. Bereavement is the often term used when the loss...
Learning to Live Again
- Piece by piece, I reenter the world.
A new phase. A new body, a new voice.
Birds console me by flying, trees by growing,
dogs by the warm patch they leave on the sofa.
Unknown people merely by performing their motions.
It's like a slow recovery from a sickness, this recovery of one's self.
Tony Talbot
The Violet Heart a Way to Remember
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The Violet Heart on CafePress
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The Violet Heart Collection on CafePress features specially selected items and gifts designed for people facing a life changing event and to recognize that someone is experiencing a challenge or transition. The Violet Heart Collection items can be w...
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The Violet Heart Collection
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The Violet Heart Collection features pins, items and gifts designed for people facing a life changing event and to recognize that someone is experiencing a challenge or transition. The Violet Flower and the Purple Heart were the inspiration behind the...
Recommended Books for On Living After the Loss of Loved One
Available on Amazon
Anniversary Response in the News
Fetching RSS feed... please stand byBlog Posts on the Anniversary Response
- the body remembers what the mind does not: a nicu anniversary
- it is likely based on these definitions that the back pain episode i experienced five years later to the date was an anniversary response, that my body remembered, even though my mind did not. the body remembers ...
- remembering on the 8th anniversary of september 11, 2001
- for more suggestions and ways of coping, you can read the blog post that from last year on what is an anniversary response or anniversary reaction? more resources dyer ka. 2009. coping with grief on the anniversary of september 11, ...
- Coping tools for children dealing with the death of a grandparent ...
- Realize that children can experience an Anniversary Response. Expect that the grief may recur as the child progresses from childhood to adolescence and even into adulthood. Strong reminders, such as the anniversary of a death, ...
- anniversary response
- i wanted to thank everybody who dropped by to say ?hi? and extend best wishes. incidentally, i'm missing some spoons, but wronwright left his wallet behind, so i'm ahead of the game. there are several comments i feel a need to respond ...
Blog Posts about the Anniversary Reaction
- Anniversary Reactions...
- An increase in distress around the anniversary of a traumatic event is known as an anniversary reaction. They can be mild, as mine was, or they can constitute a more severe reaction with significant psychiatric or medical symptoms. ...
- the body remembers what the mind does not: a nicu anniversary
- the national center for post traumatic stress disorder defines an anniversary reaction as "an increase in distress around the anniversary of a traumatic event is commonly known as an 'anniversary reaction.' this reaction can range from ...
- Holiday Blues, With Some Shades of Grey | World of Psychology
- So does Meagan's ?anniversary reaction? over the death of her mother. But what do we really know about the ?holiday blues,? beyond hundreds of anecdotes and Internet postings? How do the ?blues? differ from SAD and other forms of major ...
- anniversary reaction to my anniversary
- ha! sometimes it just works this way. last night i wrote that i had not had any ptsd reactions for a very long time. interesting that i said that because i think i'm actually in the middle of a huge one! for about the last month i have ...
Reader Feedback on the Anniversary Reaction Lens
Your place for comments, messages, suggestions, ideas and feedback
Be sure to leave your tips, comments, rank the site, pass on the word about the site (email) and leave a message (Reader Feedback).
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Reply
- BarbRad BarbRad Sep 15, 2009 @ 11:55 pm
- A very useful lens. I'm going to lensroll it to some of my own grief lenses.
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Reply
- HorseFan HorseFan Jul 19, 2009 @ 9:10 pm
- This is a very interesting lens that approaches its subject in a way I hadn't thought of before. I like the organization and especially the photos, including photos of public people with whom so many of us identify. I am betting that on the year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death next year, there will be many people suffering from this reaction.
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- ngio64 ngio64 Nov 6, 2008 @ 1:56 am
- Thanks for a great lens.5 stars, My daughter is affected by the approach of 9-11 every year. For several years she did not attend the memorial ceremony. This year she attended and said it made her feel better!
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Reply
- JaguarJulie JaguarJulie Sep 8, 2008 @ 1:55 pm
- Kirsti, a touching and helpful lens and particularly timely for those dealing with losses from 9/11. Your creativity and sensitivity in crafting such fine lenses is appreciated. ;) Thank you for all of your kindnesses.
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Reply
- drsallywitt drsallywitt Aug 18, 2008 @ 8:56 pm
- This is a perfect set of information to go along with my 9-11 Remembrance show.
Wonderful lens.
Sally
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by Comfortdoc
Kirsti A. Dyer MD, MS, FT is a respected physician, an expert in life challenges, loss, grief and bereavement, professional health educator, professor...
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