What REALLY causes Anxiety and Panic Attacks – Fast Help and Treatments in High Wycombe and Buckinghamshire

I could talk to you for hours about what the medical symptoms are for anxiety and how the body responds etc etc.

How does this information help you? Well, it doesn't does it.

Most people who go to the Doctor suffering from anxiety or panic attacks are put on medication. This means that the symptoms are being masked and the route cause not being dealt with.

Any ideas. Problems with family, money, health, job or relationships? Many of us end up having problems in one of these areas.

What is it about your worry/problem that is making you feel overwhelmed? It is the FEAR we are experiencing inside us that causes us to feel anxious or initiates the panic attack. What are you fearful of?

So first things first. What could you do immediately that might alleviate your anxiety?

If you already know why you are anxious, then it is time for you to make a CHOICE. We forget that we always have a choice in life, even if that choice is to do nothing and accept the situation that we are in.

What choice could you make that would resolve or partly resolve the situation that you are in?

First, choose a "short" choice. A choice that you could initiate immediately.

Or secondly, choose a "medium term" choice. Something you can instigate tomorrow.

And finally, a "long" term choice. A decision that you will put into action that will resolve your problem.

People who cope with worries really well have certain skills.

How many of them do you have:-

You can say 'Yes' when you mean 'Yes', and 'No' when you mean 'No'. You don't agree to things you don't like, or give up things you do like, in order to please someone else.

You can communicate clearly to others what you are feeling and what you want from them, in a calm way.

You don't let a fear of conflict silence you. You are prepared to take the consequences of communicating your feelings and wants.

You can do this because you feel good about yourself. You feel entitled to be here, to be who you are, and to express what you feel. And because you assert yourself, you feel good about yourself.
You can set clear boundaries, and feel entitled to defend them if they are attacked.

You enjoy life and have no difficulty in taking pleasure.

You can give and receive both compliments and criticisms, learning from both.

If you scored high, WELL DONE.

If you scored low, don't worry, you can learn these skills easily.

Here are some things you can start introducing into your daily life. Your new motto can be "Do one thing different today".

Have you tried to look at a problem from a different angle?

Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left hand side put a heading "Mr/Mrs Worry". Then list your worries. On the other side of the column write down any solutioins that come to your mind.

Then take another sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle and write the name "Mr/Mrs Confident" (or any other person you would like to be). Write your problems down on the left and then imagine being Mr/Mrs Confident and from that angle, write down your solutions to your problems.

You may feel that you are unable to carry out these solutions because you don't have the skills but don't worry - you can learn.

All your solutions are inside you and all it takes is being creative to draw them out.

So what are boundaries and why do we need them. Boundaries have a purpose and that is to protect and take care of ourselves. We need to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to us.

How can you have an honest and healthy relationship with your family, friends and loved ones if you don't communicate your boundaries. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself and to make good choices.

Have you ever met someone who says "These are my boundaries and you must abide by them"? Some people say they are setting boundaries but are in fact trying to manipulate you.

A "healthy" boundary is when you let go of the outcome.

How can you communicate in an honest way and let someone know that their behavior is affecting you - without blaming them.

Use the following words to make a statement:

When you . . . . .
I feel . . . . .
I want . . . .

Examples:
When your face gets red and your voice gets louder and your hands clench into fists
I feel scared, intimidated, unsafe. I feel like you are going to hit me
I want you to talk to me and listen by staying calm

WHAT DO IS SAY TO SET A BOUNDARY

Some boundaries are rigid - and need to be. Boundaries such as: "It is not OK to hit me, ever." "It is not acceptable to call me certain names." "It is not acceptable to cheat on me."

There are three parts to a boundary. The first two are setting the boundary - the third is what we will do to defend that boundary.

If you - a description of the behavior we find unacceptable (again being as descriptive as possible.)
I will - a description of what action you will take to protect and take care of your self in the event the other person violates the boundary.
If you continue this behavior - a description of what steps you will take to protect the boundary that you have set.

Then most importantly, stand by the consequences you have set.

It is not enough to set boundaries - it is necessary to be willing to do whatever it takes to enforce them.

Remember - we hope a person will change their behavior when we set a boundary but be prepared that they won't. Your responsibility is not to become the victim. Set your consequence and stick by it.

If you detach yourself from people, will you become an emotionless robot?

Definitely not. You can learn to detach in the right way and enter into a place that is peaceful, full of joy and very empowering.

Imagine a life where all the people, places and things that you are emotionally involved with, are attached to you by way of an energetic cord. These energetic cords enter your body and attach to sponge in your solar plexus.

Every time you have an interaction with that person, place or thing you have a flow of energy moving up and down that particular cord. When it is a negative interaction, whereby you are giving out much of your energy, the sponge gets saturated with heavy, negative "stuff". The more you don't have boundaries, make the wrong choices and can't separate yourself from the people, places and things around you, the more that sponge will absorb.

I would imagine that life will then be quite stressful, anxiety ridden. You may be full of fear or anger.

NOW what would life be like if all those places, people and things were not attached to you by these invisible energy cords? Your life is still filled with the same problems but you are able to step back, see things in perspective, put into action your boundaries, make good choices.

I would imagine that life would be quite different. Of course you might still have some worries but you have the "space" to cope with them. Most worries will be taken care of very quickly when you enter into that "space".

Understand that everyone around you is on their own journey and that you don't have to be affected by their "stuff". You can stand back and allow them to be who they need to be and not be part of their journey. What an empowering thing to learn!

If I could do one thing different today, what would it be?

How soon could you implement one or all of the tips I have listed above? How soon do you think you could change?

If you have any questions or would like to book an appointment, call me on 07712 537099 or email me on marion@thesource-practice.co.uk