Welcome to Aperture Labs
Hello and welcome to Aperture Laboratories, where we do research and build fancy guns. And we eat cake. Lots of cake. The cake really isn't a lie, like some claim. Really.
Aperture Science. We do what we must because we can.
Aperture Science. We do what we must because we can.
About Aperture Science
The history of Aperture Laboratories
Aperture Sciencewas founded in 1953 by Cave Johnson for the sole purpose of making shower curtains for the U.S. military. However, after becoming mentally unstable from mercury poisoning in 1978, Johnson created a "three tier" research and development plan to make his organization successful.
The first two tiers, the "Heimlich Counter-Maneuver" and the "Take-A-Wish Foundation" (parodies of the Heimlich Maneuver and the "Make-a-Wish Foundation" respectively), were commercial failures and led to an investigation of the company by the U.S. Senate. However, when the investigative committee heard of the success of the third tier, a "man-sized ad-hoc quantum tunnel through physical space with possible applications as a shower curtain", they recessed permanently and gave Aperture Science an open-ended contract to continue their research.
The first two tiers, the "Heimlich Counter-Maneuver" and the "Take-A-Wish Foundation" (parodies of the Heimlich Maneuver and the "Make-a-Wish Foundation" respectively), were commercial failures and led to an investigation of the company by the U.S. Senate. However, when the investigative committee heard of the success of the third tier, a "man-sized ad-hoc quantum tunnel through physical space with possible applications as a shower curtain", they recessed permanently and gave Aperture Science an open-ended contract to continue their research.
Aperture Science Shirts
Wear the Aperture Laboratories logo on a shirt
Video of the Aperture Science Research Facility
Tour the Aperture Laboratories Facility
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The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device is not a toy
Buy Orange Box
Buy Orange Box for PC, Xbox 360, and Playstation 3
The Orange Box
Amazon Price: $27.99 (as of 11/24/2009) 
The Orange Box
Amazon Price: $19.82 (as of 11/24/2009)
The Orange Box
Amazon Price: $84.93 (as of 11/24/2009)
Aperture Science is extremely advanced in technological research
Portal Gameplay Video
Video of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device in action
The Cake is Not a Lie
Really, the cake is not a lie. Honest.
White T-Shirt
Price: 19.99
The Cake Is A Lie! Black Cap
Price: 19.99
"The Cake is a Lie" White T-Shirt
Price: 17.99
Secrets of Aperture Science
Just kidding, we have NO secrets!
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- Home & Office : Aperture Science Mug | JGadgets.Com
- Home & Office : Aperture Science Mug. Comments [0]. A trusted friend in sciene.Maybe you'll find...
- The Photoshopper: Aperture Science Wallpaper
- Aperture Science Wallpaper. Designed By Abhinav Rastogi / Labels: Blue, Wallpaper /. Here comes a qu...
Have any comments for Aperture Laboratories?
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- Cresnar Miracle Cresnar Miracle Feb 12, 2009 @ 1:08 pm
- ... there's a new job applicant waiting...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwoqVdZkefk
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- HGGH HGGH Feb 9, 2009 @ 11:13 am
- Wow. Did they just make all this up?!
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- Smartshops Smartshops Feb 8, 2009 @ 10:36 am
- Great lens with lots of information! 5*s from your friends at Smartshops!
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- ChessKnught ChessKnught Jan 29, 2009 @ 7:15 pm
- Shower curtains huh? I remember a movie about two guys trying to get from New York to Chicago for Thanksgiving, and one was a shower curtain ring salesman... "Where's your other hand? Between two pillows. Those aren't pillows!".
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- [Subject Name Here] [Subject Name Here] Dec 30, 2008 @ 4:31 am
- Hehe... Wow, I need to start working on my quotes again. ;)
Very nice, and I'll be expecting my cake, soon. XD
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