Appreciate Your Way to Happiness

I much prefer 'appreciation' to 'gratitude'... and this is why. Gratitude, for me, conjures feelings of being in a 'debt of gratitude' or having just made it through a difficult time. Gratitude makes me think I owe this good-feeling to someone or something outside of myself.

Don't get me wrong... there's nothing wrong with feeling gratitude, and expressing that gratitude. But it makes me feel slightly 'less than' when instructed to use it as a method to improve my life.

Appreciation, on the other hand, puts me in control. Appreciation comes from within. Appreciation makes me feel as though I am giving something rather than receiving something. Appreciation lifts me higher, much higher than gratitude ever can.

As I mentioned in the introduction, we are often advised to keep a gratitude journal. Write down three (or five, or ten, or a hundred) things we feel grateful for. That seems like an obligation to me. Something you agree to do as an exercise or homework. Conversely, writing my appreciation for something or someone is an enjoyable process, a few minutes of pure indulgence, a virtual delicious bath of warm feelings which leaves me several steps higher on the 'emotional scale'.

Appreciation can include gratitude but it is much bigger than gratitude on its own.

Photo - my own journal page: My Passion for Art Journals.

Photo courtesy of pshutterbug.

I am training myself to appreciate in every 'doing nothing' moment.

When I'm standing in line at the supermarket, I look for a baby, a child or a kindly-looking face and I silently express my appreciation. When I see somebody offering assistance, when I see a checkout operator smile, when I see a shopper let another person go in front of them because they only have a few items. All around there are reasons to appreciate.

If I get stuck in traffic, I check out the scenery. See a bird and appreciate its beauty. Hear a song on the radio and appreciate it for keeping me cheery. Observe a tree, a flower, even a weed growing courageously at the side of the road. I can always find something to appreciate in those downtime moments.

At home, I appreciate warmth, shelter, having good food. I appreciate hot running water to wash the dishes, rather than whine about having to do the dishes. I appreciate my laptop, my bed, my books, all the possessions that make life comfortable.

When I am walking, I appreciate fresh air, birdsong, sunshine, rain, puddles, wind, trees, green leaves, dead leaves and sheep baa-ing.

Tree photo courtesy of David Eadie.

Photo courtesy of respres.

Often I like to be still and appreciate life flowing through me. I visualise a stream of light - some people might think of this as 'God' or 'Source'. I don't know what it is but I can feel it - above me, around me, in my every cell. I can understand why there is a collective urge to praise, although, if someone doesn't understand what they are praising, then it can all seem a bit questionable - like when singing hymns as a child. I thought we were singing to some old fellow on a throne somewhere! That's the problem, I think - no-one can explain because it's something you feel and you have to feel it for yourself.

So feel it. Allow yourself to feel your own energy, the very life-force that pumps your blood and the thoughts that pulse through your mind. Feel alive.

Photo courtesy of pareeerica

Photo courtesy of Linda Bailey

This is a biggie. So very often we are taught that we must put aside our feelings and our own desires to please other people. We are taught this from a very young age. We learn to become dismissive of our gut feelings - remember how strong they were when you were a kid? Remember, for instance how a bad word between your parents made you feel inside? Then didn't you learn to become almost immune to that sort of thing as you grew up? You desensitized yourself. Or rather, your family, friends, teachers, boss managed to desensitize you.

That internal barometer of feelings is your guide. It is your guide to everything in life. You can label emotions and feelings anyway you like, fear, love, happiness, hatred... but really there is only feeling joy and feeling bad... and they are at opposite ends of a very sensitive scale... the 'Emotional Scale'.

This is a huge subject and I haven't enough space to go into it in great detail. What it boils down to is learning to tune yourself in to your emotional scale to determine whereabouts your current feelings lie. Then your only job is to move slowly up the scale in the best way that you can. And the best way to do this is by appreciation.

Acknowledge where you are and if it is not so good then call it 'contrast', appreciate it for indicating you are focusing on something you don't want and move along the bus and look out of a different window. In other words, find something to focus on that you do like.

If you can't think of anything else to appreciate then start appreciating yourself. This is something you should be doing constantly anyway. You are unique and you have your own unique perspective. No-one else in the whole world can see your life the way you do. You ARE the center of your own Universe. You are magnificent. Start acting as though you believe it.

For instance, say you are trying to find the perfect partner. You have a string of not-so-perfect partners and are beginning to wonder what's wrong with you. First of all... stop looking. Start concentrating on self-appreciation. If you don't appreciate yourself, then no-one else is going to. You will just keep attracting partners who reflect what you currently feel about yourself. Start loving you, start writing lists of all the great things about you, start writing your life as a perfect script. Do not think about anyone else. You need to fall in love with the wonderful human-being that is YOU. Then the partner will appear. When you are least expecting him/her. This works with all relationships, romantic or otherwise.

I first joined Squidoo in July 2009. Not too long ago. After a tentative start I began to participate in the Squidoo 'community - joining groups and the forum (I am not a fora person!). When I realised how many people are willing to help a newbie, when I realised just how friendly and encouraging some Squidoo-ers are, I was overwhelmed.

As I participated in the forum, I see many people who are not really interested in becoming part of the community and that's fine. There's no rule that says you must. But some people expect to receive all the help and encouragement without interacting in an appreciative way. And by 'appreciative' I don't mean in a creeping, kiss-butt kind of way, but in a genuine wish-to-learn way, in a way that shows that they will, in turn, contribute to the great pool of encouragement that is Squidoo (and similar sites).

For myself, I always make a point of thanking someone if they help me. Good manners, you would think. Gratitude maybe? Yes, but that's not the only reason. I express my appreciation because IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD. If one of my lenses receives a blessing then I absolutely always try to contact the Angel, either directly or via one of their own lenses. Not because of a desire to show my gratitude.... that goes without saying.... but because it MAKES ME FEEL GOOD to do so.

I make lists of things I appreciate with Squidoo:

I appreciate Angel Blessings
I appreciate kind comments
I appreciate help offered, whether I requested it or whether someone else did and it happens to help me too
I appreciate my lens visitors - a lot
I appreciate anyone who clicks through my lenses to somewhere else
I appreciate lensrank
I appreciate Google rank
I appreciate other Squidoo-ers
I appreciate lenses that offer advice
I appreciate lenses that show me what I don't want
I appreciate lenses which are stunning examples of what I want to achieve
I appreciate lensmasters who are open about things that work and things that don't
I appreciate lensmasters who share their Squidoo journey
I appreciate lensmasters who bare their soul
I appreciate professional lenses
I appreciate honest, personal lenses
I appreciate the founders of Squidoo
I appreciate the people who make it work for the rest of us
I appreciate the companies who advertise and thereby make us money
and so on...

And it's working. Slowly and steadily I am learning, slowly and steadily I am attracting more visitors, slowly and steadily my lenses are increasing in lensrank, traffic and earning potential.

And the best thing of all... the thing I appreciate more than anything else is that it's FUN!

Photo thanks to Ocean City.