Approaching Women

For many single guys, the most difficult part of getting a date is approaching women in the first place. The fact is, walking up to an unfamiliar woman is intimidating to many men. And of course, we all have egos, so the last thing we want is to get to "shot down" just for taking the time and effort to attempt to speak to a lady.

So, in order to minimize the embarrassment of rejection, and maximize your chances of success when approaching women, it is important to understand as few basic points about "the art of the approach."

The first and most important point is this: women can always tell when a man is not being "real" with them. Don't ask me how they do it -- it's just something they instinctively learn as they grow up I suppose. Anyway, it's important to realize that women have an uncanny ability to spot a phony. So the most important rule when approaching a woman is BE YOUR SELF.

If you try to put on a macho front, 90% of all women will recognize this as insecurity, and they definitely will not be interested. The same rule applies if you're trying to impress a woman with how intelligent you are. Most women understand that truly intelligent and secure man DON'T CARE if they know it or not, and ironically enough, this is exactly the type of man most women are looking for -- a man who believes in himself, feels comfortable in his own skin, and is not concerned with trying to impress a woman (or anyone else for that matter).

So now you've got the first point: always be yourself when approaching women. Remembering this one rule will improve your game at least 50%. But now let's move on to another important aspect of approaching a woman: making eye contact.

A woman's first opinion of you has a great deal to do with the amount of eye contact you make with her. When approaching women, it is important to make extended eye contact, but not so much that you look like you have something to prove. In other words, you are not trying to intimidate the woman into talking to you, but rather, simply showing her in a relaxed matter that you recognize her as someone you are interested in talking to, and you are not afraid to show it.

As we said earlier, women seem to be able to smell a phony a mile away. And they can also smell fear. If you fail to make proper eye contact with her, she will assume that you are insecure, that you do not feel you are good enough to talk to her. These nonverbal cues will tell a woman pretty much everything she needs to know about a man. Lack of eye contact suggests you don't consider yourself worthy to talk to her, and she will probably assume that you are right!

Finally, we come to a really important point about approaching women, and it is this: all men get rejected. Read that last sentence again because it is extremely important that you understand this. All men get rejected; it is simply part of being a man and nothing to concern yourself with or make a big deal out of.

Discover the Secret to Effortless Dating

Do you think that Brad Pitt or George Clooney don't get rejected? Well, guess what? They do. Both of these famous actors have admitted to being rejected by women in bars and restaurants over the years. And this should come as no big surprise, because no matter how great you look, how confident you are, and how smooth your pickup lines, you WILL get rejected from time to time. That's just life.

The important thing is to not be discouraged or concerned about being rejected. Before you can become a master of approaching women, you will need to recognize that being rejected by a woman does not say anything about you -- in fact, it doesn't say much about her either. She could simply be having a bad day, or maybe you're just not her type. After all, everyone is different, and responds to different things.

Maybe you're a big tough guy, who is ruggedly handsome, sexy, smart and athletic -- but guess what? There are women who don't go for that type. Some women prefer short stocky guys with glasses, or skinny, geeky computer programmers, or foreign guys who speak French or Italian, or older guys that remind them of their dad. You get the idea -- every woman is unique, and has unique preferences.

If you get rejected by a woman, it is not something to take very seriously, or let affect your confidence in any way. It is something all the men deal with, regardless of their skill in approaching women.

Approach Any Woman with Confidence--The Secrets of Alpha Male Dating!

I know there's a lot of advice out there on what to do when you are approaching women. I feel that it's at least as important to go over what not to do. Here are a few tips on what to avoid from a woman's point of view:

1. Don't use cheesy pick-up lines. Unless you are incredibly cool and confident (and if you were, you probably wouldn't need my advice...), and 110% sure you'll be able to deliver them ironically, just leave the pick-up lines alone.

2. Don't get too up close and personal with the woman until she has very clearly let you know that she wants you that close. Guys that rub up against us without being invited to do so are creepy.

3. Don't pretend that you understand everything about women. Guys that try to "understand" us and be our best friend are annoying.

4. Don't try to impress your friends while you are talking to us. If you are approaching women to get cred from your friends, we will pick up on it and think you're a jerk. If you are not there to get to know us, don't even bother.

5. Don't brag. Don't tell us how cool or popular you are. If you need to tell us about it, we'll know it's probably not true.

6. Don't tell us about how hot your ex was. If you want to get somewhere with us you need to make us feel good, not bad, about ourselves.

7. Don't give us insincere compliments, or "lines" you've heard somewhere else. Be real. If you like something about us, tell us, but if you have nothing true to say, keep your mouth shut.

8. Don't try to play games. If you approach women just being yourself, we will respond to you much better.

9. Don't idolize us. Show respect, but remember that we are only people, just like you. The more natural you are around us, the better we will like you.

10. Don't try to hard. You don't have to say something super smart or funny every second. Just relax and show us who you really are.

At the end of the day, approaching women is not a science. Just be yourself and treat us with respect. If you're the right guy for us, we'll show you, and if you're not we'll let you know without hurting your feelings, so you can stop wasting your time and go find the woman who is looking for you.