All Me. All The Time.
This lens is a work in progress. Just like me. It's hard to know what to put here and what to leave out.
I have a B.A. in Communications and a Certificate in Professional Writing. I'm partially dyslexic. My spelling is atrocious. When I was very young everyone spoke German at home. So technically, English is my second language, even though I no longer speak German.
I've been a freelance writer off and on since the late 80s. My first paying writing gig was as a staff writer for Canadian Stripper magazine. I lasted there two months before I decided I wanted to further my education at a university in another province. There only so many words you can use to describe the Miss Nude "Whatever" Contest. After two months, I'd used them all. It was almost enough to make me give up writing. Obviously, I didn't or you wouldn't be here.The Government's Gone Crazy
2009 PADS Calendars
100% of all money raised from the sale of Puppy In Training Calendars goes to the puppies. It costs $35,000 to raise and train a service or assistance dog.
Purchase One Online
Sit Stay Read
Sit Stay Read is a program that helps kids improve their reading skills by getting them to read out loud to dogs. They currently operate only in Chicago but would like to spread out to many other cities.Go to the website to meet the dogs, donate and shop for a good cause.
Make Money Writing
- Subject Seek
- SubjectSeek is monetizing your online experience. You get money for posting articles and feedback. Tell them ArdenBaird sent ya.
- About.com
- About.com: expert guidance from real people searching the Internet for the information, goods, and services that you need to know related to your passion. Revenue sharing site.
- Suite101.com
- An interactive online magazine home to expert and reader commentary on 400 subjects for over 10 years. Revenue sharing site.
Hobby: Egyptology
A few years ago, I went to a psychic who told me that if I went to Egypt all my questions would be answered. That surprised me. I hadn't mentioned anything about my love of ancient Egypt. Later I found out that there once was a place called Egypt in Scotland (my ancestors are Scottish.) Maybe I will go there some day. Though I think Egypt in Africa would be more interesting.I don't know why I'm attracted to ancient Egypt. I love the art. I love the architecture. I love all the gods and goddesses. Ever since I was a little girl, I've felt really close to Isis. I didn't really know why until I was in my 30s and a psychic (different one) told me that I had been a server in the temple of Isis three times.
Today I watch anything that has anything to do with Egypt. I can't get enough. I've probably taken out every book on Egyptology in the public library at least once.
Someday I will go to Egypt and all my questions will be answered.
Egyptology Books To Get You Started.
World of the Pharaohs
A book that can be read from start to finish just for the pleasure of it and then kept on the shelf as an excellent reference work. This was the first book on Egyptology I owned.
Amazon Price: $19.95 (as of 12/20/2009) 
The Ancient Egyptians For Dummies (For Dummies (History, Biography & Politics))
Unravel the history behind of one of the most fascinating ancient civilisations with this engaging, entertaining and educational guide to the ancient Egyptians. With a complete rundown of ancient Egyptian history and culture alongside insights in to the everyday lives of the Egyptians, you'll discover how they kept themselves entertained, the gory details of mummification, the amazing creation of the pyramids, the deciphering of hieroglyphs and much more.
Amazon Price: $13.59 (as of 12/20/2009)
COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO ANCIENT EGYPT
Ryan provides an exhaustive, authoritative discussion of ancient Egyptian history, culture,religion, art and daily life that is concise, fast reading, and frequently quite amusing. In addition, there is information on archeological techniques, travel to Egypt, and a splendid listing of additional resources for further study. The book is fun to read, enlightening no matter how much you think you know about Egypt, and a useful reference source.
Amazon Price: (as of 12/20/2009)
The Egyptian Book of the Dead: The Book of Going Forth by Day
The Book of the Dead is a collection of writings that were placed in tombs as a means of guiding the ancient Egyptian soul on its journey to the afterlife. The Papyrus of Ani, which is reproduced here, is one of the most important and beautiful of the surviving papyri. Damage in the 19th century seriously confused its sequencing and the relationship between text and illustrations. Here for the first time the scroll is presented in its proper sequence and in its entirety. The English text is placed immediately underneath the corresponding hieroglyphs, and the reproductions are faithful to the originals in all their glowing color. A critical purchase for any serious collection of materials on ancient Egypt.
Amazon Price: (as of 12/20/2009)
My Favorite Comic Strip
Past Employment: Sex Columnist
Think Carrie in Sex In The City. Think My Messy Bedroom. That was me. I would write about any aspect of sex that sparked my imagination. Believe me I was never at a loss for something to write.
I used to get erotic novels from publishers, sex toys from manufacturers and photo books from artists. I would also get erotic videos from production companies. Every package that came from the US was opened. The customs guys never rewound any of the videos.
I also got a stalker around this time. He's why I never use my real name online or my real picture (unless it's me as a baby like the one above.) Better safe than sorry.
If you look at my lenses you'll see I still have things to say about sex.
I used to get erotic novels from publishers, sex toys from manufacturers and photo books from artists. I would also get erotic videos from production companies. Every package that came from the US was opened. The customs guys never rewound any of the videos.
I also got a stalker around this time. He's why I never use my real name online or my real picture (unless it's me as a baby like the one above.) Better safe than sorry.
If you look at my lenses you'll see I still have things to say about sex.
Make Money Online
- Hits4Pay
- hits4pay, get paid to read email, paid to read, make money from home, free business opportunity, make money on the internet
- Cash Crate
- Do you know that companies are paying top-dollar to have users like you try their products and services for free? At CashCrate, we pass that money on to you. Simply complete free offers and get paid without spending a dime!
Past Employment: Erotica Writer
For a while, I made a nice living writing erotica for various websites. I really can't complain about a job that has me spending my days thinking up all kinds of sexual fantasies. My lover at the time got to critique all my work. Strangely enough, we never got all the way though any of the stories.
I wrote for a straight site, a gay site and an S&M site. The weirdest piece I ever wrote featured vampires. Sadly, websites soon learned that there's all kinds of free stuff out there and hardly any online publishers pay for erotica any more.
I wrote for a straight site, a gay site and an S&M site. The weirdest piece I ever wrote featured vampires. Sadly, websites soon learned that there's all kinds of free stuff out there and hardly any online publishers pay for erotica any more.
I've Been Spending Too Much Time Here
My Sex Lenses
- Sacred Sexuality
- Many people sort of believe that sex is sacred but they don't treat it that way. Sacred sexuality used to be the duty of temple women (priestesses). Now with modern translations of the ancient texts anyone can learn how to make their sexual relations sacred. This lens will look at all aspects of sacred sexuality, past and present.
- Sex Magic
- Sex is magical. At least it should be. Most people have felt the energy sex releases. Sex magic harnesses that energy in order to work magic. Witchcraft, Shamanism, alchemy, Tantra and Kabbalah all involve sex magic to one extent or anther. We are often told that sex is bad but where would we be without it? Sex used to be used in fertility rites to ensure the crops. Today sex is used to sell things. Surely, there are better ways to use sex than compulsive consumption.
- How To Be A Sex Goddess
- Being sexy is more about attitude than looks or even skill. There are dozens of books out there to give you information on technique. A sense of fun is far sexier than any sex trick you could learn. A positive outlook towards sex and apositive feelings towards your body (however imperfect) are the mainstays of a sex goddess. This lens will contain tips and tricks to help you bring out the sex goddess inside.
My Second Favorite Comic Strip
Past Employment: Critic
In college, I focused on Pop Culture and Media Analysis. Getting someone to pay you for your opinion is always a bonus.
I've written movie and CD reviews for various publications. I had a weekly column about the film industry in Vancouver. I've also written a lot about one of my favorite bands: The Rolling Stones.
I've written movie and CD reviews for various publications. I had a weekly column about the film industry in Vancouver. I've also written a lot about one of my favorite bands: The Rolling Stones.
My Media Lenses
- Vampires In Popular Media
- Vampires are the world's most resilient mythological creatures. They have captured the minds of humans for centuries. Modern media has made sure that everyone can name at least one vampire. Movies, television, books, plays, and even music celebrate bloodsuckers. Today's vampires are harder to kill than those of old but few people who obsess on the undead would want to kill them anyway. We are under their spell and we cannot stop watching.
- Hollywood Dystopia
- A dystopia is a fictional society that is the opposite of utopia. It is characterized by oppressive social control by an authoritarian or totalitarian government or corporation. Hollywood has examined dozens of dystopias from Metropolis to Children of Men. The view of the future is often bleak but always fascinating. This lens will look at all kinds of dystopian films from Metropolis to Children of Men.
- Buffy The Vampire Slayer Video Showcase
- The series narrative follows Buffy Anne Summers (played by Sarah Michelle Gellar), the latest in a line of young women chosen by fate to battle against vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness. Like previous slayers, Buffy is aided by a Watcher, who guides and trains her. Unlike her predecessors, Buffy surrounds herself with a circle of loyal friends who become known as the "Scooby Gang."
- Angel Video Showcase
- YouTube videos, plot and character information and anything else I can find about the television show Angel. This Buffy Spinoff had bite of it's own. Tall dark and brooding, Angel was a vampire with a soul (sometimes). With an interesting cast of charcters this show made LA nights seem a lot more interesting.
- Law & Order Video Showcase
- YouTube videos, plot and character information and anything else I can find about the television show Law & Order. NBC's long running series is still going strong. YouTube is a great place to see all kinds of videos featuring different castmembers. Lenny videos are my personal favorite.
- Criminal Intent Video Showcase
- YouTube videos, plot and character information and anything else I can find about the television show Law & Order: Criminal Intent. Dick Wolf (Law & Order) has claimed that Arthur Conan Doyle inspired him to create Criminal Intent. Indeed, the brilliant--if socially awkward--Robert "Bobby" Goren (Vincent D'Onofrio) and cool-headed partner Alexandra "Alex" Eames (Kathryn Erbe) do come across like a modern day Holmes and Watson. Rather than England, however, they're members of New York's major case squad.
- Special Victims Unit Video Showcase
- YouTube videos, plot and character information and anything else I can find about the television show Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Like its predecessor, many Law & Order: Special Victims Unit episodes are clear references to high-profile real-life cases (or famous fictional works), and are based on thinly veiled dramatizations of these actual events, though the particulars and outcome may end up to be quite different.
- Numb3rs Video Showcase
- YouTube videos, plot and character information and anything else I can find about the television show Numb3rs. We all use mathematics every day... but in a world of body counts, multiple criminal masterminds, and percentages involving perpetrators who may act again, figures are especially valuable.
- Bones Video Showcase
- Bones is an American drama television series that premiered on the Fox Network on September 13, 2005. The series is very loosely based on the works of real-life forensic anthropologist Kathy Reichs, who is herself a producer on the show. Its title character, Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan is named after the protagonist of Reichs' crime novel series. The show is a forensics and police procedural drama in which each episode focuses on an FBI case file concerning the mystery behind the human remains brought to Dr. Brennan's forensic anthropology team at the Jeffersonian Institution by FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth. YouTube videos, plot and character information and anything else I can find.
- F/X The Series Video Showcase
- F/X: The Series was a television series based on the film F/X. starring Cameron Daddo, Christina Cox, Kevin Dobson (season 1), Jacqueline Torres (season 2), Carrie-Anne Moss and Jason Blicker. It ran for 39 episodes from 1996 through 1998.
The show focuses on Rollie Tyler (Cameron Daddo), a special effects man in NYC, who assists NYPD detective Leo McCarthy (Kevin Dobson) in capturing criminals. In the second season, Dobson's character was killed and replaced with Mira Sanchez. YouTube videos, plot and character information and anything else I can find. - Criminal Minds Video Showcase
- YouTube videos, plot and character information and anything else I can find about the television show Criminal Minds. Criminal Minds revolves around an elite team of FBI profilers who analyze the country's most twisted criminal minds, anticipating their next moves before they strike again.
- Blood Ties Video Showcase
- YouTube videos, plot and character information and anything else I can find about Blood Ties. This television show has bite. Based on the Vicki Nelson books by Tanya Huff. Henry Fitzroy, bastard son of Henry VIII lives in Toronto and creates graphic novels. He is partners with ex-cop Vicki Nelson. Together they solve supernatural crimes while steaming up the small screen.
- Vampire Video Showcase
- YouTube videos of all kinds. Anything else I find about vampires. Go on. You know you love them. Everyone needs a little vampire seduction every now and then.
My Music Lenses
- U2 Video Showcase
- YouTube videos from the Irish rock band U2.
- U2 Fruitlegs
- All the track listings and some videos for the Fruitleg bootlegs.
My Food Lenses
- Cooking For One or Two
- Eating is one of life's simple pleasures but most people do not cook for themselves. If you think that cooking for yourself is too much trouble, this is the lens for you. Here you will find recipes and tips for making healthy meals for yourself.
- Cooking Video Showcase
- A bunch of interesting cooking videos from YouTube.
My People Lenses
- Eddie Izzard
- Star of stage, screen and comedy clubs. Eddie Izzard has been called the funniest man in Britain and the bastard child of Monty Python. From his start as a street performer to his role in The Riches, Eddie has given audiences plenty to laugh at. His stand-up is often surreal but always funny. His tangents leave his audience breathless.
- Henry Fitzroy
- Henry Fitzroy is a character in the Blood novels: (Blood Price, Blood Trail, Blood Lines, Blood Pact, and Blood Debt) and the Smoke novels: (Smoke and Shadows, Smoke and Mirrors , and Smoke and Ashes) by Tanya Huff.
- Henry Fitzroy, Duke of Richmond
- The real person Tanya Huff's vampire was based on. Bastard son of Henry VIII.
- Le Comte De Saint-Germain
- The protagonist in Chelsea Quinn Yarbro's historical horror novels.
- Eddie Izzard Video Showcase
- YouTube videos featuring British comedian/actor Eddie Izzard.
My Spirituality Lenses
- Ancient Egyptian Spirituality
- Religion permeated every aspect of ancient Egyptian life. Pharaohs went great lengths to connect their reign with the will of the gods. There were literally hundreds of deities who expected reverence. There were many rituals that needed to be repeated every day. Magic was a normal part of every Egyptian's life.
Cool Things
I have no idea where my links went. Oh well. I guess you'll have to wait until I get around to finding them all again.
- Eddie Izzard
- The official Eddie Izzard Website. Buy stuff, download stuff or write stuff on the message boards.
Holler Back Form
Are you glad you stopped by? Did you learn anything? Did anything make you go Hmmmm?
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- Monteath Monteath Jul 21, 2008 @ 3:41 pm
- Great biography lens, really interesting stuff. My ancestors also came from Scotland - Monteath is actually my clan's name. I'm hoping to travel there in two years and visit the old homeland where my ancestors used to be. That comic was absolutely hilarious and made my day. Thank you :)
by ArdenBaird
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