Are Infertile People Annoying?
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Are Infertile People "Annoying"? A Debate on Society and Infertility
"Really?" I thought, with quite a bit of confusion. My page was largely about the many annoyances infertile people face in their daily lives, certainly not about finding infertile people annoying. I couldn't even figure out at first how or why infertile people could be considered annoying by the fertile majority in our world. Then I thought about how often discussions and news articles about infertility, in non-"infertile-safe" spaces, devolved into ugly, critical remarks being made about infertile people and their struggles. (Just look at the comments posted to Melanie Notkin's recent Huffington Post article, "The Truth About Childless Women". In another wonderful Huffington Post piece, "What Are You, Barren?", I was actually called "morally reprehensible" in the comments for wanting to try to have a biological child instead of "just adopting".) So maybe there really is more resentment and misunderstanding about infertility out there than I realized...
Therefore I decided to open up the topic for debate. Are infertile people annoying, with their efforts to conceive and to raise awareness about their disease? Or is it in fact today's society and fertile people at fault, people who don't understand the struggles of those with infertility? I spent time researching some of the common arguments and objections raised about infertile people and their actions - and also the problems infertile people perceive that they face daily.
Where do you stand on the issue? Please join in the discussion here and share your opinions on the subject.
Photo by aophotos on morguefile.
Table of Contents - Are Infertile People Annoying?
- Quick Opinion: Are Infertile People Annoying or Not?
- Reasons Why Infertile People Are Annoying
- The Human Overpopulation Crisis
- The Fertile World is Annoying and Insensitive - Not the Infertiles
- RESOLVE's Message About Infertility
- YOUR TURN! Vote on Whether Infertile People Are Annoying
- Ten Articles About Infertility That Fertile People Should Read
- Books on Adoption and Infertility
- Learn about the Family Act of 2011 & proposed tax credit for infertility treatments!
- My Last Words on Being An Annoying Infertile
- Infertility Talk on Twitter
- Sockii's Squidoo Pages on Infertility
- Share Any Last Thoughts on Infertility Here
- More Debates and Controveries
Quick Opinion: Are Infertile People Annoying or Not?
Your Fast Take on the Debate
Later on you'll have the chance to sound off in detail after reading the arguments, pro and con. But could you share your fast impression on the subject here first?
Infertiles Are Annoying
Making the case that infertile people are annoying.
Reasons Why Infertile People Are Annoying
What's Wrong with Infertile Women and Men? Let's Look at the Arguments
What follows is a list of common reasons given as to why infertile people are annoying. Do you agree or disagree with these statements? If you are a Squidoo member, you can vote these reasons up or down the list, or even add your own reasons why infertiles are annoying. (Later on you can chime in without needing a membership.)
Not a member of Squidoo? You can Join today - it's free and easy, and then you can participate in lots of different Squidoo pages. Or even create your own!
Infertile people are selfish and self-absorbed with their obsession over having their own children.
Infertile people act like it's their God-given rig more...4 points
Infertile people are obsessed with making me feel guilty about enjoying my own children, family holidays and celebrations.
Infertile people want to guilt the rest of the wor more...3 points
Infertile people want health insurance to pay for their fertility treatments. They should suck it up and pay for it themselves if they want a kid that badly.
Health insurance is already too expensive for many more...2 points
Infertile people should just adopt. There are plenty of kids out there that need a home already and the world is overpopulated.
If a couple is so obsessed with having children, t more...0 points
Infertility is often the fault of a person's actions anyway - promiscuity, having abortions, or being otherwise abusive toward their bodies. I don't have any sympathy for them.
Infertility is the result of making bad decisions more...0 points
If a person is infertile, it's probably because God knows he or she wouldn't be a good parent in the first place.
People should not fight against nature and God's w more...0 points
Infertile people are lucky and ought to realize it!
Infertile people have it easy - they don't have to more...0 points
Fertility treatments such as IUI and IVF are wrong and an act against nature and God's plan.
God creates life; life shouldn't be created in a t more...0 points
Adoption in the News
Latest Headlines and Stories Related to Adoption
- Profit-driven adoptions turn children into a commodity
- A dramatic rise in foreign adoptions from Africa is ringing alarm bells among child advocates who worry that the soaring numbers are fuelled by financial incentives and a lack of basic safeguards. The number of African children adopted by foreign ...
- Alaskan can give up child for adoption without notifying tribe: judge
- NEW YORK, May 29 (Reuters) - An upstate New York judge has ruled that an Alaskan Native woman is free to give her baby up for adoption without notifying her tribe, concluding that her privacy rights would otherwise be violated.
- Tireless defender of children to step down from nonprofit
- Yanoff, who says she's over 70, also helped craft legislation that became the Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP), which covers health care costs for children statewide, and advocated for the adoption of full-day kindergarten.
- Petri Sponsored Bill Aims to Smooth Adoption Process
- Scott Petri, would make the adoption of children from PA less cumbersome. By Tom Sofield State Representative Scott Petri listens to a question at a recent gathering. Northampton-based State Representative Scott Petri (R-178) is sponsoring a new house ...
News Headlines about Overpopulation
Is Overpopulation a Serious World Problem?
- Global event hails family as solution to modern crises
- ?The weakening of the traditional family and moral and political failings, not human 'overpopulation,' have cause poverty, hunger and the decline of the environment,? the statement asserts. ?The real demographic danger that the earth faces in this new ...
- Think Globally Act Locally
- His quixotic campaign focuses upon the best available science of human population dynamics and human overpopulation of the Earth in order to save the planet as a place fit for habitation by children everywhere. He can be reached at [email protected]
- Scientists: Extinctions Just as Damaging as Climate Change
- So there's growing concern that the very high rates of modern extinctions from habitat loss, overharvesting, pollution, biological invasions, human overpopulation, and other human-caused environmental changes will diminish nature's ability to provide ...
The Human Overpopulation Crisis
How Overpopulation is Affecting the World
Infertiles Aren't Annoying
Making the case in support of infertility sufferers.
The Fertile World is Annoying and Insensitive - Not the Infertiles
Reasons Why Infertile People Aren't Annoying
Once again, what follows is a list of common reasons given as to why infertile people aren't annoying. Do you agree or disagree with these statements? If you are a Squidoo member, you can vote these reasons up or down the list, or even add your own reasons why infertiles are not annoying. (Later on you can chime in without needing a membership.)
Not a member of Squidoo? You can Join today - it's free and easy, and then you can participate in lots of different Squidoo pages. Or even create your own!
Being infertile has nothing to do with one's inherent fitness for being a parent or not.
Look at all of the cases of child abuse and neglec more...9 points
There are plenty of causes of infertility that have nothing to do with personal or lifestyle choices.
There can be genetic causes of infertility, as wel more...7 points
Adoption IS great - but it's not the answer for every infertile couple out there.
Many infertile couples do decide to adopt in order more...5 points
Fertile people often ARE ignorant of how hurtful their casual words and actions can be to someone struggling with infertility.
For a person coping with infertility, there can be more...5 points
Pregnancy and childbirth is a natural part of being a woman and something many women feel a strong desire to experience - and extreme depression if they can't.
It is a basic human instinct to want to reproduce. more...4 points
Health insurance already covers many conditions brought on by personal choices and actions. Why not cover infertility?
Health insurance already covers numerous condition more...3 points
Overpopulation is a straw-man argument and my dream of having just ONE child isn't going to destroy the world.
"My body, my choice." Society cannot tak more...2 points
The annoying thing is Infertility - NOT infertile people.
Infertile people will all surely agree that their more...0 points
Stories in the News about Infertility
Latest Headlines and Discussions on Fertility Problems
- Infertility Experts Reveal Ways to Increase Odds of Conceiving
- They will be speaking Wednesday May 23rd and Thursday May 24th on how weight, diet, stress and other lifestyle factors can impact fertility. These free information talks are part of Canadian Infertility Awareness Week (May 20-26), sponsored by the ...
- Save the date! Important Conference for Couples Facing Infertility
- Session topics include: success with IVF, recurrent pregnancy loss, PCOS, genetics, surgical procedures, endometriosis, and future fertility research. A TIME strives to empower their members, through vital education and awareness of their A TIME was ...
- Fertility services in the new NHS
- The news has disappointed groups such as the National Infertility Awareness Campaign (NIAC), which would have preferred to have seen IVF commissioned on a national level. Their concern stems from the fact that devolved decision-making could potentially ...
- Blocked tubes, fibroid, couple's leading infertility nightmares
- In spite of increasing HIV awareness, many Nigerians still engage in risky sexual behaviors. A recent study by the national Agency for AIDS Control(NACA) show that only 30.5 per cent of married men who reportedly engage in ?penetrative sex with ...
Infertility and IVF News
Recent Headlines about IVF
- Houston Fertility Institute Helps Miracle Patient Conceive
- IVF treatments range in cost from $10000 - $20000 for one cycle, depending on the practice, and is one of the most well-known and effective solutions for women struggling with infertility. HFI maintains exceptionally high success rates through a ...
- What is the truth about IVF?
- ?I don't know whether, thanks to IVF, anything is happening in my body long-term,? says Karen. ?But unless you've been through infertility you don't know how desperate you can become and how keen you are to take the drugs.? Karen, an advocate for the ...
- Shady Grove Fertility Center Opens New Office
- Treatments used within the practice used to help individuals overcome infertility include intrauterine insemination (IUI), in vitro fertilization (IVF), and donor egg treatment. Shady Grove Fertility operates 14 full-service offices and four satellite ...
- UK may allow IVF for older women, same-sex couples
- One IVF cycle typically costs about >3000 ($4730). Adam Balen, chairman of the British Fertility Society, said the new draft guidelines recognized the importance of treating infertility, citing the psychological harm it can cause.
RESOLVE's Message About Infertility
Bringing Hope and Support to All Struggling with Infertility
YOUR TURN! Vote on Whether Infertile People Are Annoying
Join the Debate: Are Infertiles Annoying, or Not?
You've read the arguments on both sides. Now, tell me what you think - are infertile people selfish and annoying, or is it the fertile folks who need to get a clue and learn about the real issues of infertility? Anyone can leave a comment here, anonymously or signed-in.
Are Infertile People Annoying?
Yes, infertile people are annoying!
paul-evan says:
I understand things are sensitive, but is it another woman's fault she has a child and you don't? I see women everyday acting like they are allowed to hate other's for having kids. the right goes both ways. I feel sorry for the people who suffer but wish they would learn not to hate others because they did have kids but t o bee upset at the illness that keeps them from having any.it's not unfair others have children.IT IS UNFAIR YOU CAN'T. 9 this was a huge issue with my sister.)
stockysister says:
I'm not annoyed by the fact that someone is infertile. I've seen how devastating it can be to someone. I've also seen the desire to have a child with one's spouse, have that special oneness with them, become a creepy, single-minded obsession. It's not about seeing a human develop from you or helping to make a decent, self-reliant, productive human being. It's just about wanting a kid, being sad that other people have kids, only thinking about or talking about not being able to have a kid. The obsession "annoys" me because children in general can become a sore subject, no matter how innocent the discussion is. It also annoys me because I feel like it's something that shouldn't consume your life like that. My spouse and I don't know if we want kids and if we do, I don't know that I could have any myself. I, personally, don't know what it's like to want to or expect to have a child only to find out for certain that you can't. I'd be very open to adoption, but I also know the research on how poorly children can do when in foster homes and group settings too long. And adopting a *pet* can be nearly impossible. I don't know if I could handle the process of adopting an actual human child. It's such a complicated thing!
Buddy55 says:
The infertile people that I know are intensely annoying, demanding and self-centered, which is probably why they're so bizarrely offended at the very mention of adoption: they want a clone! You can't breed, too freaking bad, there are hideous things happening on this planet, and your uterus just ain't that mesmerizing.
wishfulthinking777 says:
I think, the annoying thing for me about infertility, is that there are so many children out there that need to be adopted, but people are rather adamant about having their own offspring. I never thought I would say that...but, since you mentioned it, I realized...it kinda annoys me.
No, infertile people are not annoying!
Ignorance is the key to Hatred says:
FYI how in the hell are we annoying?? we would like to make our own children how is that selfish or even questioned?? you say, "why don't we just adopt" well WHY in the HELL DON'T YOU?!?! just because ur fertile and can pop a kid or two out doesn't give you the right to say WE are annoying when it's YOU PARENTS that are effing annoying.. N u mention for us to just suck it up and pay for our treatment if we want a kid so bad?! WTF who in the hell can shit out 15,000 in one treatment and pray for a miracle.. shit we ain't all Donald Trumps some of use work hard (Military) but don't have the funds to pay for something like that in one lump sum.. MAN this site is just FULL of ignorant and hateful info and really i hope all that who are bothered by us annoying Infertile ppl grow old and have their SPOILED annoying kid DROP UR ASSES AT A NURSING HOME!! :P
KimGiancaterino says:
I agree with kab. The annoying parents are those who produce children they can't or won't take care of. The rest of us are expected to pick up the tab. Now that's annoying!
khakigirl says:
I honestly cannot believe that someone would call someone annoying because they want to have a child and cannot. That's like calling a blind person annoying because they cannot see or a deaf person annoying because they cannot hear.
I may be infertile - I haven't had any testing but I've been having unprotected sex with my husband for over a year and we haven't had even a blip of possibly being pregnant. I don't go around getting upset with pregnant women who are happy to be pregnant. I hug my friends and family, buy their precious babies adorable clothing and rejoice when their child is born. But I go home and cry because I may never get to experience that. Does that make me annoying?
As far as adoption goes, I've thought about it but we don't have that much money. Yes, children are expensive...but to have an extra $20,000 tacked on top of the normal $150,000+ that you spend? That's just not something I can do. If I do turn out to be medically infertile, I won't be using any fertility treatments either. It's not that I don't think it's right or anything...it's a money issue.
If I can't have children, then I won't. That's all there is to it. My husband and I might take in foster children at some point but if I'm infertile, we'll never have children of our own. If that makes me annoying then so be it.
CosmeticMom says:
I am infertile and a barren woman! While it was a heartbreaking time to try to have a baby, it was also a time of self-discovery. I decided when enough was enough with trying all the modern medicine and techniques out there conceive a child. We decided on adopting from another country (due to my age) and God blessed us rather quickly with a 2-year-old son.
glockr says:
No, they are not annoying. Self-righteous people who don't understand the issue are though...
favored1 says:
The fact that you have even asked this questions shows me how shallow people really are, and how insensitive they can be to a barren woman. It's not about having a baby of your own, but about wholeness as a person. Most people that are barren would adopt a baby in a heartbeat. I wish people would stay out of issues they know nothing about. If this is so annoying why don't you who can have kids stop, and just adopt? Then see who is annoying.
Angie says:
The arguments that say using ART (assisted reproductive technologies) is "playing God" are ridiculous for two reasons:
1. Thou shalt not judge - remember that one? Yea, it's not your place to judge.
2. If it were playing God, then it would work 100% of the time. God gave man the GIFT of ART, and yes some abuse that gift, but ART creates a scenario and then God decides from there if that woman will become pregnant.
And will someone please tell me why some fertile people, who have never adopted or considered it, feel that fertile people are more deserving of having biological children and the full parenting experience from conception on? I say that it's ignorant people that are annoying, no matter what side they stand on.
Tianna_Silver says:
While I understand that some people in my family have problems with my infertility, I don't think I'm annoying about it. It's an extremely traumatic thing to deal with especially when everyone you know got pregnant naturally.
LissaKlar says:
How could anyone who is infertile possibly be so cold and heartless as to say that infertile people annoy them? If you've never been infertile, how can you know how it feels, and therefore, you have no right to argue this point one way or another. It is reprehensible. Some women really struggle with this. Wow! I didn't realize people could be so callous. If you think the infertile people should adopt, then everyone should be under the obligation to adopt first before they have biological children. The way people are sometimes baffles me.
Frischy says:
It seems to me that most of the people who criticize infertile people are fertile. And most of the people who criticize people for not adopting have not adopted themselves. I am both an infertile person and an adoptive mom. Infertility and adoption are two separate issues. Adoption does not cure nor resolve infertility.
rasudesign says:
My heart aches for the people in my life who are struggling with infertility. I know how it feels to want a child but can not begin to imagine how much it hurts not to be able to have one. It's one of the reasons I'm actually considering becoming a surrogate - I would love to help even just one couple make that dream come true!
I have met infertile people who are annoying but that's just their personality, not a result of their disease.
miaponzo says:
No.. they aren't annoying at all... it really must be terrible to want a baby so bad and have to go through all kinds of torturous treatments to get one.. and sometimes never get one at all. My heart feels for them!
resabi says:
I don't think infertility makes one inherently annoying, not does it protect someone from being annoying. I was infertile and I'm pretty sure I was obsessive about it and irritating some of the time -- but no more so than, say a football fan during the season...
kab says:
I'm much more annoyed with people who can't seem to stop popping kids out, and people who don't care for the ones they have.
sockii says:
There are annoying infertile people just as there are annoying fertile people. You can't call an entire group of people who suffer from a disease (yes, it IS a disease) "annoying" just because you don't understand what they are going through. I wish that more fertile people would take the time to learn the real facts about infertility and to try to be more understanding.
Ten Articles About Infertility That Fertile People Should Read
Read Up on Infertility - Increase Your Awareness About this Disease
- 1. Top 10 Things Not to Say to Someone Experiencing Infertility
- Maybe you want to help. Maybe you just don't understand. But before you open your mouth to your infertile friend or loved one, pay attention to the things they've probably already heard, time and time again.
- 2. A Holiday Survival Guide for the Infertile
- See the holidays through an infertile's eyes, and hopefully begin to understand why these gatherings and celebrations can be dreaded by or difficult for those coping with infertility.
- 3. The psychological impact of infertility and its treatment
- Learn more about the Harvard study which looked at the impact of infertility and how it compares to other diseases. You might be surprised by the results.
- 4. Overpopulation is a Myth
- Whether you agree or disagree with the Population Research Institute, it is worth hearing the argument against global overpopulation before buying in to the mainstream acceptance of the idea.
- 5. Infertility - Article at PubMed Health
- What are the causes of infertility and men and women? Get the real facts, summarized and learn more about infertility treatments and prognosis.
- 6. Helping a Loved One Cope with Infertility
- If you want to be a better friend or companion to someone dealing with infertility, read this article.
- 7. Coping with Infertility - 8 Steps Through the Emotional Journey
- Learn about what many people experience when first confronted with the possibility of infertility.
- 8. 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility
- Yes, people with infertility can have a sense of humor. Really!
- 9. My Struggle with Infertility and the Things I Have Learned
- A touching and honest story of how infertility affected one woman's life.
- 10. Bust a Myth about Infertility
- For National Infertility Awareness Week in 2011, RESOLVE began the "Bust a Myth!" project - looking at the myths and real facts about infertility. Read them and learn.
Adoption Resources
Learn More about Adoption and If Adoption Might Be Right for You
- Adoption
- U.S. Department of Health and Human Resources page on adoption, with many resources and legal information guides.
- Adopting.org
- Resources on all aspects of adoption, from looking for birth parents, deciding to place a child up for adoption, to pursuing avenues to adopt.
- Adoption.com
- Resources about pregnancy, domestic & international adoption, parenting, adoptees and more.
- Adoption Support at Forever Parents
- Forever Parents supports adoptive and waiting families.
Books on Adoption and Infertility
Read More About These Important Topics
Infertility Survival Handbook by Elizabeth Swire-Falker
After seven years of tests and more tests, treatments more...0 points
Empty Womb, Aching Heart: Hope and Help for Those Struggling With Infertility by Marlo Schalesky
Contains frank and emotionally resonate stories fr more...0 points
Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage, and Adoption Loss by Jennifer Saake
Hannah's Hope is intended as a guide to assist you more...0 points
Every Drunken Cheerleader: Why Not Me? by Kristine Ireland Waits
If you're eager to have a baby, doesn't the title more...0 points
When You're Not Expecting: An Infertility Survival Guide by Constance Hoenk Shapiro
Surviving the challenges of infertilityOften enduring more...0 points
What He Can Expect When She's Not Expecting: How to Support Your Wife, Save Your Marriage, and Conquer Infertility! by Marc Sedaka
Tips and advice from a man who's been there, for the more...0 points
The Adoption Decision: 15 Things You Want to Know Before Adopting by Laura Christianson
In North America, more and more families are adding more...0 points
The Complete Adoption Book: Everything You Need to Know to Adopt a Child by Laura Beauvais-Godwin, Raymond Godwin
Every week, hundreds of adoptive parents are fulfi more...0 points
Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches by Russell D. Moore
A stirring call to Christian families and churches more...0 points
The Complete Book of International Adoption: A Step by Step Guide to Finding Your Child by Dawn Davenport
The go-to guide for everything you want to know about more...0 points
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Adoption, Second Edition by Christine Adamec
This new edition covers the adoption process, new information more...0 points
The Ultimate Insider's Guide to Adoption: Everything You Need to Know About Domestic and International Adoption by Elizabeth Swire Falker
So you've made the decision to adopt. What's next? more...0 points
My Last Words on Being An Annoying Infertile
Maybe Being Annoying Isn't a Bad Thing, After All...
In discussing this debate with a friend, she brought up an excellent point on the subject of being "annoying" about infertility. Being annoying isn't necessarily a bad thing, especially when you're trying to get people to stop and re-think their actions and judgments toward others. Part of being an activist is being annoying: getting in people's faces; making them think about uncomfortable topics; saying things that are unpopular or that others might not want to hear.
I get that some of my friends are sick of hearing me talk about infertility and infertility awareness. They might roll their eyes at me the next time I rant about something I heard on Facebook and wish I could just "let go" of the subject. But I can't. It's important to me to bust myths about infertility and get the discussion out in the open. To help people dealing with infertility realize that they don't have to live in shame and remain silent about their disease. I am surely an annoyance many times over at this point for asking for a little understanding on the subject and not feeling comfortable talking to people who refuse to acknowledge infertility as a serious issue.
So maybe I should embrace the idea of infertile people being annoying, after all. Because politeness and silence will not bring about change the way that action and vocal discussions can.
Infertility Talk on Twitter
What Are People Saying About Infertility on Twitter, Right Now?
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- BabyQuestGrants
- MT @DrVeronicaEyeMD: http://t.co/Axasrw5C "Overcoming #Infertility" 90-minute show w/ @BabyQuestGrants @DuoFertility #IVF #tryingtoconceive
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- PregnancyZG
- Getting pregnant even if you have a severe case of infertility is now possible http://t.co/e3NBDiEX
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- Pcientesonline
- RT @MedlinePlusEsp: Cerca de dos tercios de las parejas tratadas por infertilidad pueden tener bebés. http://t.co/jhVtYvSD
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- PregnancyZG
- There is also a 4-step plan to target male infertility issue http://t.co/e3NBDiEX
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- Mozellaconnecte
- Wow Uncover The Answers To Infertility.: Uncover The Answers To Infertility. http://t.co/FiIn5Nqo
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- fountain_penmj
- @drewskiiii @wafflewolfer you're implying that homosexuality equals infertility. Which is moronic.
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- FEWilljax
- Reading about this: Male Infertility Causes - http://t.co/xjYPv6bx
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- FranMeadows
- @PregnancyZG Thanks for following! Join in my journey http://t.co/DsqtfYtA Join me on FB http://t.co/9bn4YKgR Thanks for the support
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- FranMeadows
- @EARLBARRETThanks for following! Join in my journey http://t.co/DsqtfYtA Join me on FB http://t.co/9bn4YKgR Love the title of your novel :)
Sockii's Squidoo Pages on Infertility
Read more and increase your awareness
Are Infertile People Annoying?
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Infertility and the Holidays: A Survival Guide
When you're dealing with infertility, every day can present challenges to your mental health and well-being. Even so, the holiday season can be especially di...
Infertility
Infertility is a disease which can leave its victims feeling very isolated in today's society, with our strong emphasis on having children and the prevalent ...
Raising Infertility Awareness and Coping with Fertility Struggles
Fertility is a fact of life most people take for granted. Most assume that if you want to get pregnant and have children, it will be easy once you find the r...
National Infertility Awareness Week
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About the Author
Share Any Last Thoughts on Infertility Here
Get In The Last Word In the "Annoying Infertile" Debate
Did you have any other comments you'd like to leave at this point? Feel free to do so before you go. And thanks for visiting!
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goldfinc
May 16, 2012 @ 10:53 am | delete
- To those who wrote all those brainless things about how infertile people are annoying you may wish to consider these points:
1. My husband and I are childless because my husband is infertile.
2. We suspect his infertility it is due to labor he did (forced to do) from ages 13-18 yrs. (Yes, this happens)
3. We have given most of our lives investing in other people's kids. People, I might add who are sometimes bad parents.
4.I do not whine about infertility. I go to baby showers, take meals to new moms, and celebrate their pregnancies.
5. Those same moms generally do not offer help when I am in a difficult place and do not come to celebrations when I succeed in other arenas where I am involved (This is my point of contention, not the infertility).
7. Annoying has nothing to do with infertile or fertile it has to do with individual humans, of which category I would place all the whiners who do not take the time or energy to understand situations.
6. Just sayin'
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KimGiancaterino May 3, 2012 @ 11:21 am | delete
- Hopefully those who are annoyed at infertile people will take advantage of the resources you've provided here (and perhaps gain some compassion in the process).
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stockysister
Dec 7, 2011 @ 9:54 am | delete
- I'm glad you posted the "10 things not to say" link. I checked it to make sure I wouldn't say any of those things! I'm good! Whew! I'm sure I'll come up with something insensitive and dumb anyway *fake smile*. I say the wrong thing a lot, but I AM good at acknowledging someone's feelings rather than assuming them! I'm glad you posted the "overpopulation myth" information too. I'm trained in demography so I didn't look to see all that it said, but since it basically implied that it's more complicated than "there are too many people" I figure it's cool lol. The world has been estimated to be able to provide for 16 billion people, and we're not even at half of that yet. Unequal distribution of resources is the problem. If you have a fertile land area that can feed a lot of people, but a warlord or governor who hoards the crop, you'll have starving people. If you live in an area that can't grow food or is hit by serious natural disasters often, then you'll have trouble. That's not judging people who live in those situations. I'm trying to be factual! Anyway, it's not fair to say "there are too many people anyway." It's so dismissive of someone's feelings! And THAT burns me up!
I agree with a lot of people about judging someone else's decision. I do it just like many other people, judge someone else's decision, and if it's appropriate or someone asks me what I think, I'll tell them. BUT I wouldn't go so far as to legislate behavior by voting or supporting a lobby against fertility treatments or something. And about adoption, that process is scary and mysterious to me. I know very little about it, but I know enough that it's expensive, long, drawn-out, often disappointing, and could very easily end up in someone missing out on their chance to raise a child at a good time anyway, if there ever is a good time!
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CosmeticMom
Dec 2, 2011 @ 10:00 am | delete
- Great topic and debate. I do know barren woman (I am one) can be a bit annoying and the poor husbands have their own issues to deal with, everyone survives :) I can talk about it now without breaking down and life did go on...we are a "Forever Family" with adoption.
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Barren for Life
May 17, 2012 @ 11:47 am | delete
- Cosmic Mom... Of course you can talk about it now without breaking down... your a mom.. how about the many invisible ones who for many reasons could not adopt? we are no ones forever family despite 8 years of trying and not getting an approved homestudy because of personal religious prejudice of the equally imperfect and i might add wonderfully fertile case worker. Life goes on alot easier for those with kids by adoption or childbirth.
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