Relationships & Self Esteem

I have been online a number of years and I have seen a lot. The one thing that sticks out to me is the sadness I see in womens writings, pictures and posts.

Seems like women are doing and advertising ANYTHING in hopes to gain attention. The funny thing is, that even the men try to tell the women that all of that extra stuff isn't necessary.

I have never seen so many bi-sexual, tri-sexual, super freaks of the weeks and women wonder why they continue to be single and lonely.

False advertising is the number complaint men have about us gals.

I will be discussing that and more and hopefully it will reach at least ONE person and turn her life around.

It is open for full discussion, questions and debates even. As long as it is done in love, everyone will be able to express ones self here.

Men don't do you more than what you ALLOW. That is the bald faced truth.

You see the signs, yet you pretend that you don't. Albert Einstein defines insanity as the act of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I agree with Al.

You cannot be afraid to be alone. You really can't. You need to get to know you long before the Cosmo magazine and Vogue fashions of the moment. You need to get to know you before dating.

If you can't stand to be with YOU, how on Earth can you expect someone else to put up with you?

You say how or it's too hard. No it really isn't. Raw truth? If you have never put forth the effort, how do you know if it works or fail?

When is the last time you took yourself to dinner? How about a movie or lunch? By yourself?

Many of you will say never. You have always used a crutch to go out.

What if someone saw you by yourself-gasp! Get over yourself.

You see if you treat yourself, you will never allow anyone to treat you LESS than how you treat yourself.

Learn how to step out and do things for yourself by yourself and you will draw like minded individuals to you. It works, I promise. You can't do it under the guise of I am going out by myself to meet someone while pretending to get to know myself-that is lying to yourself. You have done it long enough without great results so why continue?

There isn't a woman on this planet who doesn't find flaws within herself. Too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, nose too wide, nose too thin, etc.

You are whom you are and no amount of plastic surgery is going to change that.

One of the biggest misconception is that women get plastic surgery to attract the opposite sex. That is a lie.

Just like fashion, plastic surgery is to make other women jealous. The extra benefit is drawing men to you-it is really to be competitive with other women. To have another woman look at you like you look at other women in envy.

As with all other shallow things, they are only temporal. It is designed that way.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with make up and fashion. When you feel good about the way you look, you carry yourself differently. But you can't just lean on looks.

This weekend, take some time for yourself with just yourself. Even if you just take two hours just to take in a movie. Make that your quality time.

Fix yourself just as cute and sexy as if you would for a date. Don't be afraid, the only person who will be concerned about you being alone is you.

One of the things I love to do regardless if involved or single-I love cafes. I will take myself to a cafe and order a nice brunch then go to a museum. I take my time and I just ENJOY that moment.

Doing that taught me how to teach my mate how to enjoy that moment with me.

Your Romeo is slowly turning out to be a dud. You "love" him so you pretend and deny and lie to yourself that the man you met will return.

Every now and then just as he sees that you are about to leave, glimpses of him show up for a little while and all too soon-the man you fell in love with disappears again.

The tragedy in this is that you aren't happy. He isn't happy, yet he will hang in until someone else comes in.

Women don't like hearing this. I blame this on fairytales. I posted a humorous little video on Youtube reflecting the fairytale vs the temper tantrum. How we give the Prince Valiant or Prince Charming (ok, Shaka Zulu) titles to men who aren't worth the title.

My friend, accomplished author, H. Scott Gordon and I were debating this on Saturday and I scared him. Some traitor gave me the Playa Manual and I was breaking it DOWNNN. lol

Men simplify the game to A game Women, B game Ladies, and C game girls. Sad to let you ladies know this, but the vast majority of you will never make it to the A game because you don't DEMAND nor Command that status in your mans life.

C game girls are jumpoffs. You jump on and you jump off. She brags on her head game and will do most anything you come up with. She is easily manipulated by outwardly and eagerly hoping to be chosen. It doesn't matter if the man is involved or not-a piece of man is better than no man at all. She needs to affirm herself to her friends and family. She will not be caught DEAD "single" and cannot function without the male species on her own. To be called a bitch or hoe is a badge of compliments that she carries around in false pride. She will deliberately get pregnant over and over with various men in the hopes that some Prince will change this hoe into a housewife.

B game Ladies are women whom dudes have a lot more respect for. She is "wifey" but will never be treated in the reverence of a Wife. Even if the man marries her, he will never remain faithful. B game women travel on that slippery slope. She isn't A Woman material in her mans eye but she isn't a C game girl either. Just because a man takes her to meet his family doesn't mean she is A game material. Whether he marries her or live with her a number of years, it doesn't make her A game. She will never be comfortable nor trusting of her mate and doesn't mind showing her insecurities to him. She wraps herself in his world. She will cut off mother, friend even her own child to keep him happy. She never really gets to allow him to be reintroduced to the woman he met. Over time, that woman disappears and that Lady hangs in there no matter what. She doesn't hold her man accountable for anything. She will accept hurt from him over and over and like the C game girl, she feels that no matter whom he sleeps with as long as he is with HER then she have won. She remembers those lonely single dating days and the thought of returning to them terrifies her. She will convince herself that doing a threesome for her man is okay because she wants to seem open to keeping her man or as they used to say in the old days, Earning her man. Whatever it takes. Then will weep bitter tears when he leaves her for what she perceives as a downgrade.

So who is the elusive A game Woman? She is her mans equal. His partner. His true love of his life. The woman whom her man wouldn't dare step out on her because he knows of the treasure he has. She is confident and loving. She has her own mind but knows how finesse her man so that he doesn't feel emasculated. She knows her value isn't between her legs but between her ears. He can talk to her and value her opinions. Her man doesn't just tell her she is a Queen he shows her that she is HIS QUEEN. She isn't domineering but she won't allow her man to treat her just anyway. Most men will tell you, if they have an A game Woman-even if he is tempted by others, the idea of losing her isn't an option. He won't allow ANYONE not even his own mother to disrespect her. A game Women aren't perfect, but they are soul mates. Have men messed up on A game Women? Of course. But the loss he experiences when he loses her will never be matched with anyone else. Which is why most B game ladies are always living in A game Women shadows.

Your Romeo is slowly turning out to be a dud. You "love" him so you pretend and deny and lie to yourself that the man you met will return.

Every now and then just as he sees that you are about to leave, glimpses of him show up for a little while and all too soon-the man you fell in love with disappears again.

The tragedy in this is that you aren't happy. He isn't happy, yet he will hang in until someone else comes in.

Women don't like hearing this. I blame this on fairytales. I posted a humorous little video on Youtube reflecting the fairytale vs the temper tantrum. How we give the Prince Valiant or Prince Charming (ok, Shaka Zulu) titles to men who aren't worth the title.

My friend, accomplished author, H. Scott Gordon and I were debating this on Saturday and I scared him. Some traitor gave me the Playa Manual and I was breaking it DOWNNN. lol

Men simplify the game to A game Women, B game Ladies, and C game girls. Sad to let you ladies know this, but the vast majority of you will never make it to the A game because you don't DEMAND nor Command that status in your mans life.

C game girls are jumpoffs. You jump on and you jump off. She brags on her head game and will do most anything you come up with. She is easily manipulated by outwardly and eagerly hoping to be chosen. It doesn't matter if the man is involved or not-a piece of man is better than no man at all. She needs to affirm herself to her friends and family. She will not be caught DEAD "single" and cannot function without the male species on her own. To be called a bitch or hoe is a badge of compliments that she carries around in false pride. She will deliberately get pregnant over and over with various men in the hopes that some Prince will change this hoe into a housewife.

B game Ladies are women whom dudes have a lot more respect for. She is "wifey" but will never be treated in the reverence of a Wife. Even if the man marries her, he will never remain faithful. B game women travel on that slippery slope. She isn't A Woman material in her mans eye but she isn't a C game girl either. Just because a man takes her to meet his family doesn't mean she is A game material. Whether he marries her or live with her a number of years, it doesn't make her A game. She will never be comfortable nor trusting of her mate and doesn't mind showing her insecurities to him. She wraps herself in his world. She will cut off mother, friend even her own child to keep him happy. She never really gets to allow him to be reintroduced to the woman he met. Over time, that woman disappears and that Lady hangs in there no matter what. She doesn't hold her man accountable for anything. She will accept hurt from him over and over and like the C game girl, she feels that no matter whom he sleeps with as long as he is with HER then she have won. She remembers those lonely single dating days and the thought of returning to them terrifies her. She will convince herself that doing a threesome for her man is okay because she wants to seem open to keeping her man or as they used to say in the old days, Earning her man. Whatever it takes. Then will weep bitter tears when he leaves her for what she perceives as a downgrade.

So who is the elusive A game Woman? She is her mans equal. His partner. His true love of his life. The woman whom her man wouldn't dare step out on her because he knows of the treasure he has. She is confident and loving. She has her own mind but knows how finesse her man so that he doesn't feel emasculated. She knows her value isn't between her legs but between her ears. He can talk to her and value her opinions. Her man doesn't just tell her she is a Queen he shows her that she is HIS QUEEN. She isn't domineering but she won't allow her man to treat her just anyway. Most men will tell you, if they have an A game Woman-even if he is tempted by others, the idea of losing her isn't an option. He won't allow ANYONE not even his own mother to disrespect her. A game Women aren't perfect, but they are soul mates. Have men messed up on A game Women? Of course. But the loss he experiences when he loses her will never be matched with anyone else. Which is why most B game ladies are always living in A game Women shadows.

So, you have to ask yourself and evaluate yourself in your past and current relationships who you are to men.

Are you seeking artificial bandaids to cover your insecurities? Men are predators and if you think they can't smell insecurity-you are fooling yourself.

If women took more time in pleasing herself and presenting her honest self, she would make better choices in mates.

She wouldn't stay in toxic relationships. Once again, she wouldn't allow anyone to treat her worse than she would treat herself.

Most women feel if they show their intelligence, that will turn men off. So they dumb themselves down. They try to live up to images that they think their men love. The ironic part is that the images that you are feeling envious about, are insecure themselves! lol

You don't have to act "hard and tough" to command respect. Some of the most effective conversation is said in a soft tone.