Astrology for Children and Parents

Most people are familiar with astrology because of the popular newspaper and magazine horoscopes. While these are technically astrology, they are a very thin slice and not representative of the true power of astrology. They can be thought of as a sort of daily weather report at best, and completely made up rubbish at worst.

When asked what your sign is, you probably know that you are a Gemini or a Sagittarius or a Cancer, but you may not know exactly why. Your 'sign' is actually your sun sign, which simply means that at the time of your birth, the sun was traveling through the area of sky that belongs to that sign. For instance, if you are a Cancer, that means that the sun was moving through the section of sky known as Cancer when you were born.

But the moon, Mars, Jupiter, etc. were all traveling through the sky when you were born as well, and we can make a list of where each planet was at the time of someone's birth. Astrologers do this by creating an astrology chart, which is essentially a map of the sky as a full circle all around the Earth. It shows where the planets in our solar system, the Sun, and the Moon were in relation to us on Earth at any chosen moment in time, such as the moment you are born. An astrology chart that is created for the moment of someone's birth is also called a natal chart or a birth chart. Using your exact birth date, time, and place, an astrologer can see exactly how the planets would have been observed by you, at the moment of your birth and at the exact location on the Earth you were born. You see, astrologically speaking, the world really does revolve around you!

A birth chart is created by marking down the location of the planets, signs, and houses at the time of someone's birth, but it's value is in the interpretation of what that map means. The symbols of each puzzle piece in a chart are mixed together and when interpreted by a skilled astrologer, an integrated and thorough picture of one's life lessons, needs, challenges, and developing skills and tools (to name a few!) can be understood. Good astrology, in the author's opinion, does not remove or dictate one's choices, it merely helps us understand our needs and therefore aids us in making the right choices for ourselves.

A child's natal chart is read much the same as an adult's chart, but an additional and useful dimension can be added. While an adult's chart is generally interpreted with insight and instructions directly for that adult to use in their own life, a child's chart can be interpreted for the parent's use, to allow the parent further insight into facets of their child's personality and spirit that their child may not be able to adequately communicate yet since they are still developing. This is a simple but powerful truth that can be leveraged to support your child's learning in the best way possible.

As parents today, we also know it is not enough to just make sure our kids get a balanced meal and make it to school on time. We are very concerned about our child's social, emotional and spiritual well being, not just physical and mental. How many parents have at least one child development book on our bookshelf? If you have been to the bookstore and seen the massive child development section, you know it's easy to be overwhelmed by all the methods and philosophies of raising healthy children. While there are many books that have good ideas, not all parenting philosophies are a good fit for every parent and most philosophies aren't able to take in all the vast differences in the personalities and needs of one child from the next.

If you're a parent, I'm sure you've asked yourself questions about what you should do in various situations with your child to best support them. For instance, if they are shy, should you push them a little bit more to be more outgoing or should you let them hide or take it slow? Do they just need a little push to make them shine or will that scar or damage them? How about determining the line for your child between extracurricular activities that enhance their growth and schedule overload that's detrimental to their health and sanity? Astrology is uniquely equipped to answer these questions in a specific way, because your child's birth chart is a little bit like a user guide. Beyond what every human needs (again, the food, shelter, love sort of basics), we are all different. What feeds one child might drain another child, not to mention that everyone has a different opinion about what children may need.

So how do you know? Astrology for children focuses on that question: how you can best nurture your child's unique talents and interests, while helping them overcome their fears in a way that gives them courage and confidence. This is an area where astrology excels. Your child's natal chart is a user's manual to your child. It is a child development book written and published for one: your unique son or daughter.

As I've said, each piece of astrology (planets, signs, and houses) is a symbol. Each represents a whole field of experiences or characteristics. To start understanding how they apply to a child, you need to combine the symbols. It's like putting Tab A into Slot B and connecting to Part C when you start building something (but then add in a huge dash of intuition and creativity)!

Let's have a brief look at each individual symbol:

Tab A: The Planets
The Sun represents the process of building their essential identity. The Sun is central to our personality and, like it holds our solar system together, it is our sense of our own centeredness and our basic conscious self. In a child's chart this is especially important because it represents the process of self-discovery and self-definition. It's placement in a chart shows the things that child needs to do to strengthen their sense of identity and self-awareness.

The Moon represents our primarily emotional needs. We might call it our 'heart'. This is especially pertinent for children because it is how we most easily understand and receive love and nurture. The moon's placement in a child's chart shows the best way to help a child feel safe, taken care of, loved, and happy.

Mercury represents our mind and voice. It's placement in a child's chart shows the methods through which they learn easiest, as well as their intellectual interests and communication style. Obviously this is very important to be able to communicate with your child in a style they can easily understand!

Venus represents our relationships, not just with others and not just romantically, but the way we relate, whether it's to a friend, or even to the world. Venus' placement in a child's chart illustrates what kind of people and personality styles draw them in, and the way they relate to others and the world around them in a way that helps them feel connected to someone or something. This is why Venus is also the planet of beauty and what we find beautiful. Friendships are obviously a large part of a child's life and learning the strengths and pitfalls in their relating style can help you guide them in dynamics with friends.

Mars represents our drive and motivation. What do we want and what is our style of pursuing it? Understanding Mars' placement in a chart can also tell us about our will, and some of our lessons involving our sense of our own power, so it can also tell us how a child will defend themselves and deal with their own anger, aggression and assertiveness. Teaching a child to manage their anger in a way that works for them and understanding how to empower them in the ways they need it most is what Mars can tell us in a child's chart.

The above planets are sometimes called the 'personal planets', because we easily engage with them from a very early age and on a constant and personal basis. When we get older and start experiencing and expecting more from life (perhaps from age 12 and up), we start to encounter the remaining planets in a more recognizable and conscious way, as our world and our interaction with it expands, although they are always present in our lives at any age.

Jupiter is a planet of potential, but it's important to recognize that it's not a planet by which to measure a child's potential. It represents that child's relationship with the idea of potential, in themselves, in others, in the world. Jupiter's placement in a child's chart shows where they are learning to develop faith and confidence in themselves, to take 'leaps of faith'.

Saturn represents our limits and how working within them without letting ourselves be defined or permanently discouraged by them creates self-sufficiency, self-respect, and maturity. Saturn's placement in a child's chart may signal an area of difficulty in that child's life, and can give clues about what can be done to help that child turn those into strengths through effort and practice, so they can learn the pride that comes with accomplishing something they worked hard for.

Uranus represents the process of learning individuality, which is sifting through what we are conditioned to be by our peers, culture, family, and even the media, from what we really are: learning what is right for us, and our true selves. In a child's chart, Uranus illustrates where this child may simply not fit in with the 'norm' and even more importantly, shouldn't be forced to try if it's only for a parent's or society's comfort (as opposed to a real source of danger or dire consequences). This can also illustrate a source of rebelliousness in a child, because they are struggling to find their own way. Where Uranus lies in a child's chart shows where they need to feel free and not be forced to conform in ways that compromise their essential selves.

In a child's chart, Neptune represents the development of natural sensitivity, intuition, and imagination. A child may be better equipped to work with Neptune than some adults, since the younger we are, the more likely it is that we have not been so beaten down by the world that we can still be open to imagination and compassion. Where Neptune lies in a child's chart is a source of their connection to divinity and where their natural sensitivity can and should be encouraged.

Pluto represents the process of naming and working through some of our deepest fears, to uncover the wounded parts of ourselves and heal them by facing them so they no longer have power over us. This is a large and complex concept and it can often be fears that are difficult to even spot, let alone face. In a child's chart, this can be even more true, so we may see Pluto manifest in a child's life only when that particular fear is triggered. If a child has a deep fear of being left alone or abandoned, for instance, this may manifest in their lives as a fear of the dark, or an overactive clinginess to parents or friends beyond what's normal for that particular developmental stage. Tenderness, patience, and empowerment are the best ways to help a child work through and also around these fears. A child is not as equipped as an adult to deal with and face their deepest fears, so a parent or caregiver should not force the issues, but gently empower the child while still holding their hand.

[Astrologers develop their understanding of the symbols on a constant basis. The times we live in, the culture we live in, and the astronomical discoveries that are made all influence and enrich our understanding of how the astrological symbols speak to us. While astronomers "demoted" Pluto, we use the word planet loosely, simply meaning a heavenly body, which is why the Sun and Moon are referred to as planets, for the sake of convenience (although sometimes you'll hear them called the "luminaries")].

As I've said, each piece of astrology (planets, signs, and houses) is a symbol. Each represents a whole field of experiences or characteristics. To start understanding how they apply to a child, you need to combine the symbols. It's like putting Tab A into Slot B and connecting to Part C when you start building something (but then add in a huge dash of intuition and creativity)!

Let's have a brief look at each individual symbol:

Slot B: The Signs
Aries represents the process of learning courage, directness, and passion. If a child has a planet in this sign, they are learning to express what that planet represents in a straight-forward, unapologetic, and unfiltered way. This is also an area where they are vulnerable to impulsiveness or being unnecessarily combative as they learn to direct that energy with strength but without bullying or pushiness.

Taurus is the process of learning one's own natural rhythm and establishing stability and peace inside oneself. If a child has a planet in this sign, they are learning to express what that planet represents in a down-to-earth and easy-going way, without a lot of fuss or frenzy. This is also an area where they are vulnerable to stubbornness, because a common side effect of the Taurean need to establish stability and security is digging one's heels in and resisting change.

Gemini is all about learning and observation, to see with open eyes and a natural curiosity. If a child has a planet in this sign, they are learning to express what that planet represents in a playful and open-minded way, using Gemini's natural experimental urge to discover a variety of things that the planet represents. This is also an area where they are vulnerable to scattering their energies, burnout, or overwhelm from too much information.

Cancer represents the process of engaging deeply with the feeling and intuitive side of themselves as well as exercising a need to nurture themselves and others. If a child has a planet in this sign, they are learning to express what that planet represents in a gentle and sensitive way, diving deeply into their subjective selves to open deeply to whatever urge that planet represents. This is also an area where they are vulnerable to such levels of sensitivity that they instinctively hide behind a shell until they are sure it's safe to come out, or where they can be so focused on 'mothering' others that they don't reveal their own needs.

Leo is the process of of learning to express one's natural creativity and let one's fundamental life force, enthusiasm, and joy come out. If a child has a planet in this sign, they are learning to express what that planet represents in a dramatic and playful way, because they are learning to just let their natural self shine out from within. This is also an area where they are vulnerable to attention getting mechanisms in an effort to feel the specialness and validation that they are trying to learn to summon from inside.

Virgo is all about progression and learning to love oneself while working toward self-improvement. If a child has a planet in this sign, they are learning to express what that planet represents in a precise and humble way as they try to bring out the best in themselves and others. This planet will also represent an area of life that this child is vulnerable themselves too harshly and may struggle with feeling like they'll never measure up. Building skills and seeing their successes and progress can help them quiet the inner critic.

Libra represents the process of learning balance: in one's own life, between them and others and even between ideas. If a child has a planet in this sign, they are learning to express what that planet represents in a fair-minded way, looking at more than one approach or one side to something and learning to see the whole picture, not just their own perspective. This is also an area where they have a vulnerability to too much concern about pleasing others or being 'nice' that they hold themselves back.

Scorpio is the process of seeking out the depths of life, of oneself, and the (sometimes) hard but powerful truths. If a child has a planet in this sign, they are learning to express what that planet represents in a fierce and unflinchingly honest way, and learning to develop their strong powers of observation to see beneath the surface of any situation. They have a strong radar to be able to know there's more to something than meets the eye, even if they don't know what lies beneath. This is also an area where they have a vulnerability to being shamed by others, intentionally or not, due to Scorpio's tendency to say it like it is, which can be delivered innocently enough but sometimes push the fear or taboo buttons of adults. Therefore it's important to meet the child with gentle honesty if they have planets in Scorpio.

Sagittarius is the process of exploring and experimenting to learn to trust one's own experiences and truth. If a child has a planet in this sign, they are learning to express what that planet represents in an enthusiastic, no holds barred style. This is a place in their life where they are learning how to dive in and let the rest take care of itself. This is also an area where they are vulnerable to leaping before they look out of optimistic naivete or getting ahead of themselves due to their enthusiasm.

Capricorn is the process of learning self-mastery by setting goals and intentions and learning how to discipline oneself to reach those goals. If a child has a planet in this sign, they are learning to express what that planet represents in a no-nonsense style, getting right to the point with efficiency and objectivity. This is also an area where they are vulnerable to being too efficient, employing an 'ends justify the means' sort of attitude without understanding the consequences of such an attitude. They are also vulnerable to overworking themselves in this area of their life.

Aquarius represents the principle expressed by Shakespeare when he wrote "To Thine Own Self Be True." If a child has a planet in this sign, they are learning to express what that planet represents in a way that is uniquely their own, and where doing it by the book may not only backfire, but actually stifle their own unique perspective. It's also a place where they may be vulnerable to rebellion that doesn't lead to greater individuality but only pointless contrariness.

Pisces is all about the world of spirit, compassion, and imagination. If a child has a planet in this sign, they are learning to express what that planet represents in a graceful and open-hearted way. This is also an area of life where the child may have a natural empathy, and can be quite tenderhearted. It's also a place where they may be vulnerable to naivete and need to learn the boundary between giving someone the benefit of the doubt and letting themselves be taken advantage of.

As I've said, each piece of astrology (planets, signs, and houses) is a symbol. Each represents a whole field of experiences or characteristics. To start understanding how they apply to a child, you need to combine the symbols. It's like putting Tab A into Slot B and connecting to Part C when you start building something (but then add in a huge dash of intuition and creativity)!

Let's have a brief look at each individual symbol:

Part C: The Houses
The 1st house is the House of Self. The Ascendant, or Rising Sign, is part of the 1st house. This house's activities are all about how we present ourselves to the world and our style of interfacing with it. It is also what's most obvious about us, so first impressions are often governed by planets and the sign in the first house. If a child has a planet in this house, they may wear that planet on their sleeve, so to speak, and to incorporate it in the way they interact with the world as just a part of their persona that radiates from them. For instance, if they have Venus here, their natural way of interfacing with the world is wanting to put their best foot forward socially. If they have Saturn here, they may appear more reserved and want to be more careful about doing things in the 'right' way.

The 2nd house is the House of Resources. This house's activities are about building one's own resources, which goes beyond money, but also our skills. If a child has a planet in this house, they are learning to express what that planet represents through testing it, building confidence in it by taking risks to put it out there. A child may be fearful of failing or risking what they have and is learning that they can't grow or have confidence in themselves if they don't risk failure in an attempt to succeed. For example, if Mercury is in this house, they are learning how to build confidence in their voice, their opinions, or maybe their intelligence.

The 3rd house is the House of Communication and Perception. This house's activities are about the exchange of data, through listening and learning, as well as communicating. If a child has a planet in this house, they are learning to express what that planet represents through learning, to exercise curiosity and ask questions of themselves, their teachers, their peers, etc. For example, if Mars is in this house, this child is learning how to act on what they observe and to engage their passion for learning, as well as learning to project and defend what they think.

The 4th house has the traditional name of Home and Family, but planets here don't indicate whether you love or hate your family or whether or not you have one! This house's activities do have to do with our connection with our roots and our foundation which includes early childhood, but it's also our inner/private life and space and what we need to feel like we're 'at home'. If a child has a planet in this house, they are learning to express what that planet represents on the inner, private plane, in their own subjective consciousness. For example, Uranus here may indicate that there's something about the child's sense of who they are at the deepest level that is different, set apart somehow, and how they understand and reconcile that different happens in their own psyche.

The 5th house is the House of Creativity and Fun, but is more broadly understood as anything you do that takes you into the moment of the present and wraps you up in it. If a child has a planet in this house, they are learning to express what that planet represents through getting out of their own way and letting that process come over them. Even if that planet is in Capricorn, they are still learning how to have 'productive' F-U-N and how to relax and trust themselves in the moment. For instance, if a child has Neptune here, they may have the most fun when they are in an open and unstructured circumstance, safe, but free to explore their own creativity in their own way.

The 6th house is the House of Work, primarily, but it can also be more broadly understood as anything we might put on our 'to-do' lists. If a child has a planet in this house, they are learning to express what that planet represents through daily effort and practice, and since children are in school, schoolwork and their attitude about school in general will be primarily the 6th house experience. For instance, if a child has Mercury, Jupiter, or some of the more 'studios' signs here like Virgo or Capricorn, they may enjoy school and how accomplishment is measured and rewarded. If a child has Venus, they may enjoy the more social or creative aspects of school, but signs or planets that are more about freedom, like Uranus and Neptune or Pisces and Sagittarius to name a few, may not enjoy feeling reigned in formally as traditional schools can feel.

The 7th house is the House of Partnership traditionally called the House of Marriage and Open Enemies (no kidding!) Essentially, this house contains all activities that are about learning the art of negotiation, compromise, and equality in relationship. If a child has a planet in this house, they are learning to express what that planet represents through the contrast of other people in their lives, primarily friendships and as they get older, romantic relationships, and the impact those people have on the child's views and experiences of the world. For instance, the Sun is here, they are learning to establish their identity through how others impact them, either by incorporating what they've learned from others through their example, or by understanding that they are different than their friend and seeing that contrast clearly as they interact with that friend.

The 8th house is the House of Transformation, which is in some ways like the 4th house, representative of inner, subconscious processes, but in the case of the 8th house, it's primarily dealing with the things about life that are intense and sometimes frightening in their powerful impact on us. If a child has a planet in this house, they are learning to express what that planet represents on the inner plane once again, but they do it by investigating the hidden aspects of life, like the things that seem to be taboo subjects such as sex or death, for example - issues that many adults still get squirmy about discussing. If a child has many planets here, that may be a marked quality of their overall personality. For instance, if Mercury is in a child's 8th house, they are going to use their voice and intellect to explore the hidden aspects of life and themselves, probably by asking a lot of intense and taboo questions!

The 9th house is the House of Higher Learning which is a very broad term and encompasses things like philosophy, religion, science, law, higher education (such as college and above) and even travel. Essentially this house is about the activities that broaden our minds by exposure to varied ideas and finding out what's True for us. If a child has a planet in this house, they are learning to express what that planet represents through experiential learning and developing the wisdom that only comes from reaching outside of one's own corner of the world to explore other ways of thinking and living. For instance, if a child has Uranus here, they may be interested in alternative education, religions, or cultures.

The 10th house is called the House of Career and Reputation but it's really any activity we do that takes us closer to understanding and acting on our calling, whether it's a job title and we get paid for it or just the role we play in society, the gift we are giving. Planets here usually take a while to ripen, but if a child has a planet in this house, they may experience it in their childhood and teen years as having something to do with what they might want to be when they grow up, or a concern with feeling like they are important, in the sense of being accomplished or having some important role to fulfill, like the teacher's assistant or class president, for example. So, if a child had the Moon here, they may feel motivated to take on the role of caretaker to those around them, for one example.

The 11th house is often called the catch all House of Friends, Hopes, and Wishes but the way that translates into modern life, it can be understood not so much as friends, but as allies, contacts, and those in our 'network'. The hopes and wishes part encompasses the dreams or goals in our future that we may have, and the ideas of allies and goals come together in the idea of "friends in high places." Planets here usually take a while to ripen, but if a child has a planet in this house, they may experience it in their childhood and teen years as lessons associated with peer groups and peer pressure. Learning to fit in and when one should or shouldn't conform to belong. They may also enjoy being active in extracurricular school activities and clubs. An example of Mars or Jupiter here might manifest as a natural leader or hub that others are drawn to.

The 12th house takes us once again to the inner plane, and has been called by many names, but one I'll offer here is the House of Spiritual and Transcendent Life. It represents the activities we do to connect to divinity and the 'other world', whether that's through imagination, meditation, or prayer, and whether we define that as God, the Universe, or just our higher selves. If a child has a planet in this house, they may express that most easily with an active fantasy life and developing their imagination, which is the most direct way to enter that plane that supersedes the mundane, but there may also be a yearning for God in some form. For one example, Saturn here might have the child comfortable with accessing God through formal religion and ritual, whereas a child with Uranus here might have to find more unconventional ways to feed their spiritual connection.

Now that you have a basic idea of what all the puzzle pieces are like, let's see how to put them together. Like putting together a sentence, you have to put the components together in the right order to make sense.

Start with a Planet. The Planets are the noun; they are the 'what'. Planets represent the basic needs we all have as part of being human: the need to relate to others, the need to build a strong identity, the need to love and be loved, etc.

Put that Planet into a Sign. The Signs are the adjectives; the hows and whys, style and characteristics. Putting a planet into a sign shows you how and why that planet acts and how it needs to demonstrate it's energy. If Venus, the planet of relationship, finds itself in Gemini, the sign of communication and learning, then this child relates best to people in a verbal way, and may enjoy people that are fun to talk to because of their cleverness, humor, or intelligence. They relate (Venus) most comfortably in the Gemini style.

Put that Planet and Sign into a House. The Houses are the verbs; the activities and circumstances in life that show how and where we act on these urges. If Venus in Gemini is put into the 4th house, the house of Home and Family, then this child may most enjoy communication and interaction with family members, or perhaps enjoy inviting friends over into their home space.

This is just the tip of the iceberg! Even these sentences are oversimplified, because much more can be revealed by putting Venus into Gemini in the Fourth House than we've revealed so far. Putting a Planet in a Sign in a House is like a miniature A+B+C combination, and each combination represents a tool that a child is learning how to use in the most beneficial way. A tool such as a hammer can be used to bang a nail in straight or bash one's thumb! As is human nature, we sometimes get it wrong while we're learning and testing how our tools work.

To understand a child's chart further, each ABC combination is put together with the other ABC combinations in a chart, just as putting sentences together creates an entire book.

Your son or daughter's birth chart can give you tremendous insight into their personal and developmental needs, but did you know that the combination of your birth chart and your child's birth chart can tell you a lot about the relationship you have with your child and how best to navigate it?

Synastry is the process of comparing one birth chart to another to understand the dynamics and needs in a relationship of any kind, be it romantic, business-oriented, or a parent-child relationship. Since the Sun in a birth chart represents our basic sense of identity, and the Moon in a birth chart represents what we need to feel safe, nurtured, and happy, one of the most basic and yet profound way to do a comparison is to look at the Sun and Moon placements of each person and see how the needs and style of each compares to one another. If you can understand even the simple idea of how the way your child receives and understands love is different from the way you show and understand love, you've got the key to an everlasting bond.

For example, a Moon in Gemini child will feel happiest when they are given a lot of room to explore and learn quickly about the world around them. They will very much enjoy verbal and social interactions and will most easily feel nurtured and loved if a parent interacts with them in a playful way and takes the time to listen and respond to what they have to say. If a parent has a Sun or Moon in Libra, that parent will enjoy a certain amount of social interaction as well, so they can be a good listener and playmate for their child, but may find the level of unintentional chaos that an endlessly curious child brings a bit unsettling. If that Moon in Gemini's parent has their Sun or Moon in Scorpio, they can feel comfortable with giving their Gemini Moon child the honest answers that he or she seeks, but may find it difficult to get some silence to internally decompress.

By comparing the charts of you and your child together, you can understand what your child's needs are in comparison to your own, and understand why and how you clash so you can improve on those instances, as well as understand what works well and keep doing it!

When your little one is born, time seems to stand still. A birth chart is a snapshot of the heavens, forever frozen in time, but the planets continue to move in the heavens after that moment. A transit is where a planet is at any given time in the sky. When a planet in transit moves over a sensitive location in a birth chart, it can indicative that the timing is right for you to do or experience something. For instance, if Mars (planet of action) is in Virgo in your natal chart, it can generally be said of you that you are someone who benefits from taking a detailed and hands on approach to achieving your goals. Now if the current location of Saturn (planet of responsibility) happens to be in Virgo today, then it is making contact with your Mars. This can reveal that it is time for you to buckle down and do some hard work to accomplish something, or that maybe it's time for you to take on a big project or new responsibility.

To put it succinctly: the current location of a planet and where it's landing in your birth chart can reveal what you are experiencing right now or are about to experience in life.

Oh, It's Just a Phase
If you understand how a transiting planet may be triggering your child's birth chart, you can track developmental cycles in your child's life and see what they are learning in different phases of their life. One easy to use example of these cycles is the planetary return, which simply means the time when a planet returns to the place it was when your child was born. If you understand the concept of a birthday, than you are more familiar with a planetary return than you may think. Every time you have a birthday, the Sun returns to the place it was when you were born. This, of course, repeats yearly, and each year, you have the opportunity to come back to a sense of self, take stock, and begin a new annual cycle.

The cycles of the Sun, Moon, Venus and Mars are especially relevant in the development of children 2 and under because they are experiencing these returns in relatively close succession for the first time. It is easy to see big peaks in development around these planetary returns (and it's kind of fun to track, too!). For instance, Mars returns to the place where it was at the time of birth about every 2 years. To refresh your memory, Mars is the planet that represents our will, our personal sense of empowerment, our ability to defend ourselves and to pursue what we want. It is also representative of how we encounter and handle conflict with others and deal with our own anger. When Mars returns for the first time in a child's chart, the development of their personal will encounters a leap in growth: they start learning how to get what they want (will), and most of all, they learn how to say NO (defending themselves). This is the appropriate time in a child's development to process these emotions and lessons for the first time and so the Mars return reflects that developmental reality. It tends to be rather intense because the child is experimenting with this energy surge for the first time. This is the Mars return, but we commonly know it by another name: the famous "Terrible Twos."

If it sounds like getting your child's chart read will tell you what to do in every difficult parenting situation and you're thinking that's too good to be true, well, you're right. It is too good to be true. Much like a building has its blueprints, a natal chart can show you the plan. Having a plan gives you a leg up for building a functional and beautiful building! But it doesn't build it for you. I've shown you what astrology can do, now let me show you what it can't do, and the quickest way to misunderstand and misuse this tool.

Choice is the Secret Ingredient
At the risk of stirring up the great fate vs. free will, or nature vs. nurture debates, it's helpful to recognize that while a natal chart shows essentially how your child can live a happy and fulfilling life, that doesn't mean that they are always going to make the right choices, especially not right away. We are all free to sit on the couch and eat potato chips until we leave this earth. Who hasn't found that to seem like an attractive option at a particularly low point in life? Knowing your child's natal chart will help you know the major lessons and choices they are going to be faced with, not what they will choose. If little Jacob has his Sun in Taurus in the 2nd house, he is here with an ultimate goal of learning peace and inner stability, which will both build and rely on his self-confidence. However, Johnny may choose to respond to that urge for stability in him by stockpiling resources, accumulating a lot of stuff such as money, food, or objects, so that he can feel insulated and protected against what can happen out there in the big, bad world to threaten his sense of security. Or, Johnny may choose to build his sense of security through taking appropriate but sensible risks to prove to himself that he has what it takes to survive, so that even when the chaos of the world touches his life, he will have the confidence built from past risks and their subsequent successes to recognize that security comes from a sense of inner strength, not outer control.

A good astrologer will give you insight into the nature of the lessons, needs, and pitfalls that your child will face most prominently, so that you can go into parenting and supporting that child more informed. A good astrologer will not give you a list of stereotypes that will doom your child to failure or promise a charmed life. Then you can take that information and be able to spot the opportunities where you can teach your child what they are most longing to and need to know.

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: Getting the Very Outcome You Were Hoping to Prevent
While your child's birth chart is an invaluable tool for understanding their lessons, strengths, and needs, it's too easy to set an expectation and therefore a limitation, maybe without even realizing it. Sun in Leo? Be careful of thinking "Oh, my child is always going to show off too much, I need to curb that so she doesn't get an over-inflated ego." Mars in Pisces? Be careful of thinking "Oh, they're too gentle-hearted and nice to stand up for themselves, I'm going to need to give them extra protection" and fighting battles that the child needs to handle themselves. It's a fine line between understanding and supporting a child's nature and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy in an effort to compensate for what you may think they lack or could overdo. A Mars in Pisces child is going to have a natural desire to empathize with others and to accommodate them, and yet will benefit from seeing the outcome when they allow themselves to be victimized by others and what they can do about that. They may never be an aggressive person, but they can learn compassion without being a victim. If they are never put in a position where they have to defend themselves, they will never see the outcome of those experiences and learn from them. Likewise, Sun in Leo children are going to have a natural desire to express themselves, but they will benefit more from you being genuinely interested in their creative way of sharing themselves with you rather than you ignoring their demonstrations out of a fear they will be too domineering. Withholding this attention out of fear of overdoing it can create a self-fulfilling prophecy: the child may then feel that they never got enough attention and is prompted to go overboard to get what they need.

Despairing Over a Frightening or Negative Placement in Your Child's Chart
There it sits: Pluto in the 4th house of home and family: maybe you're what scares and wounds your child! Or Uranus conjunct Venus: maybe your child will never be able to settle down with the right someone! No matter how philosophical we try to be, it's downright scary and painful when we have to come face to face with the likelihood of our child experiencing pain and fear due to a personal struggle they will have to deal with. It is important to remember that there are no 'bad' charts; each one truly has a spectrum of potential and that there is a way for that child to live that energy in a way that works for them, even if it takes a lot of 'practice' first!

Children's astrology is not just for parents of small children. It is useful for adult children as well, especially since it's probably rare that our child gets to a certain age and suddenly we understand them. Being of use and guidance to our child never needs to end, it can simply change. Understanding your child's natal chart, at any age, can allow you to support them in the best way possible, according to their individual needs, and can even open the door to a deeper relationship and healing with adult children. The biggest gift we can give our children is to provide them the resources, nurturing, and best foundation we can so that they can evolve into the kings or queens we know them to be. Your child's birth chart can help you be better equipped for one of the most difficult and important jobs of your life.

Dabney Oliver, Astrocutie.com
Personal reading about your baby or child and the astrologer for Parents Magazine.

Chrissie Blaze
Personal reading about your baby or child and the author of Baby Star Signs.

Amy Herring, HeavenlyTruth.com
Personal reading about your baby or child from an evolutionary point of view, designed to help you know how to bring out the best in your child.

Alex Bunshaft
Personal reading about your baby or child.

Victoria Flanagan, Kiddiegram.net
Personal reading about your baby or child.

While a full and personalized reading for your baby or child is the most thorough and accurate way to learn about their astrology, computerized online reports can offer a fun and less expensive option as a way of introduction. Check out some of these options:

Kiddiegram Deluxe Report

Gloria Star's Optimum Child Report

Heaven's Child Report