Inventions: the Bold, the Beautiful, and the Bizarre

We see plenty of this scene in action films and spy movies: guy in black suit carries an attache case. He enters a building, finds a secluded spot to leave the attache case in, and exits. The camera then pans to a nearby park where the same guy sits, this time opening a laptop attache with sophisticated diagrams that show, quite clearly, what he is up to. He is about to detonate the bomb inside the attache case he had left in the building.

While Hollywood might have successfully portrayed the attache case as an evil little accessory to crimes ranging from the peddling of dope and body parts to the detonation of elaborately rigged bombs, the attache case is really quite ordinary as far as inventions go. As a matter of fact, the humble attache case would seem like an upright citizen when compared to the many frivolous and downright peculiar inventions that are being churned out by this century's creative minds.

Here's the lowdown:

1. The Beerbelly
Your boyfriend might be trying to lose his beer belly, but believe it or not, other men are happily putting theirs on. Yes, there's a beer belly you could take on and off, and it's very, very convenient for smuggling purposes. Meet the Beerbelly, a pouch that lets you sneak the equivalent of six packs of alcohol into just about any event - a concert, a wedding, even a piano recital. Why did its inventor think this is nifty idea? Well, for one, alcohol is banned in certain events and for another, you can't exactly hide your Bud inside an attache case as a security personnel is bound to check the contents of your attache.

2. Voodoo Doll Toothpick Holder
A voodoo doll is made for sticking things in, so why not stick your toothpick into it? The Voodoo Doll Toothpick Holder is a very crafty idea, but is it hygienic? Think drool-covered sticks sticking out of a limp little person lying prostate on your desk. Or, think of 35 sticks you haven't used gathering dust mites and who knows what other particles as they protrude out of a rag doll.

3. The Mother Teresa Breath Spray
It's easy to understand the need for a breath spray. Halitosis does not one good company make, so why not patent a spray that gives people that instant minty breath? It's a sound idea from a business vantage point. The name is where it starts to go wrong, however. Whether the inventor is intensely religious or merely a few apples short of the pie, we would never know. What we do know is that there is a breath spray out there with this product description: handy peppermint spray helps purge the demons of halitosis - praise be to fresh breath.

4. Synthetic Human Skin Laptop Bag
An attache case or a laptop attache is, obviously, not everyone's receptacle of choice for laptops. What is? Well, some prefer synthetic human skin. Now you can turn heads as you walk down Fifth Avenue with your laptop. Not only that, you can successfully horrify the co-worker who asks, "Is that alligator skin?" Oh yes, skin is in, and thanks to advanced technology, it need not be animal skin.

5. Solar-powered Bra
Doesn't the ingenuity of the Japanese astound you? If, in the West, we have exploding attache cases, the Japanese have hymen-restoring soaps and solar-powered brassieres. I kid you not. A lingerie manufacturer in Japan has produced this one-of-a-kind bra that comes with a solar panel. The panel can generate electricity --- not enough to power an entire village but enough to power a mini-electronic bulletin board.

Oh, but that's not all. This wonder bra also comes with padding that you can use to store water or vodka in. Even more amazing, you can have a sip using a straw that's been inserted into the bra cup.

Clearly, not all inventions are created equal. The same thing goes for inventors, too. While inventions like chairs, mobile phones, and pocket business card holders serve the good of mankind, others simply make you wonder what its inventor had been smoking while he was at his drawing board, refining his output.