Austin L. Church :: Yes, I am a writer. No, that's not the same as being I'm unemployed.

Download it now.

I'm twenty-eight years old, and I'm a writer. You might think that 250,000 hours is plenty of time to write two novels, three plays, and half an epic poem.

Well, I'm running a bit behind. This is my first book-fifty-nine pages. A modest start is still a start.

It's about overcoming inertia and meeting creative goals. Imagine that.

The problem with most artists is that they don't do their art. Most writers don't write, and most painters hide their blank canvases in a closet so they don't feel guilty. They have knowledge and talk shop with other artists for hours. They own books about creativity and dozens of half-empty notebooks. They complain about not having enough time, or they stop caring altogether.

I call all those unfinished art projects "Marthas." That's a nice way of saying "the last known living Passenger Pigeon that died in captivity and is now rotting slowly in the archives of the Smithsonian."

As you might have guessed, all the delinquent artists are "pigeon hunters," and if you're one of them, you need the seven ingredients for establishing a sustainable creative rhythm. If you proactively pursue your art, you stand to gain a great deal of joy, and the world stands to gain a great deal of beauty. No one else can sing your song.

I hope you'll download Melting Chocolate Kettles and share the book with your friends. It's available in PDF, iPad, and Kindle versions here.

Did I mention that it's free?

No strings attached. You don't even have to give me your email address, though I'd love to get some feedback. Leave a comment on my blog, and help me write another one.

New Media

Online sales letters
SEO copywriting
Website content
Blog posts
Articles
eBooks
e-Newsletters
Facebook
Twitter

Traditional Media

Newspaper & Magazine ads
Radio & Television commercials
Outdoor advertisements
Brochures
Direct mail
Sales letters

Public Relations & Journalism

Advertorials
Press releases
Articles

Branding

New business names
Product descriptions
Marketing strategy
Taglines

Websites
· Best Behavior Creative Club
· Fulghum Macindoe
· ASAP LLC
· Wirestorm Innovations
· Summit Industrial
· Piper Communications
· SalesActivities.com
· SalesManage Solutions
· Moon Shadow Lodge
· gu.e
· Second Presbyterian Church, Knoxville
· The Tuscany on Grace Bay
· Triple C Distributing
· Sassafras Floral Design
· EKGs 4U
· Apostles Anglican Church
· Bright Newt
· Red Horseshoe Books
· Lagniappe Personal Catering
· The Tower at Morgan Hill
· AVS Design Concepts
· Turks and Caicos Travel Deals
· The Farragut Building
· Needed Writer

Blog Posts
Gear Patrol
· Scarpa Mountaineering Boots: Serious Boots for Serious Outdoorsmen

gu.e (pronounced "goo"): My Humor Blog
Popular posts...

· "6th Grade was hell"
· "My Last Spanking"
· "In Praise of 7s and 8s"
· "The Toast"
· "Hug Me Pillow"
· "The Pannus"

Seeing Foxes: Meditations on Life & Spirituality
Popular Posts...

· "Why are we here?"
· "The Sunflower Principle"
· "I give up"
· "Letting to go of the desire to be impressive"
· "Be the change you want to see"
· "Courage"

Morris Creative Group
Popular posts...

· "A Long, Hot Road"
· "Guest, Fish, and Freebies"
· "Social Media & Old Age"
· "The Hospitality of Listening Well"
· "Cocktail Napkins"
· "New Media Shotguns"

Online Articles
Scribd
· "Safe Water Bottles: Sigg and Stainless Steel Alternatives"
· "Needed Writer: Why should you hire a copywriter?"

eZine Articles
· "Safe Water Bottles: What is BPA and How to Avoid It"
· "Needed Writer - Writing Great Headlines and Slogans"

East Tennessee Medical News
· "Twittering Doctors"

eBooks
· Efficience

My Website
· Bright Newt

"I hired Austin as a copywriter, account executive, and social media expert-a generalist. In my business, I have known many good writers and thinkers. To my great surprise (because I didn't really know what I was getting until I got it), Austin took my expectations up several notches. He is simply the finest writer with which I have ever had the pleasure of working, and I hope we will have the occasion to continue to work together. Add his infectious positive attitude and integrity, and he is powerful resource for anyone smart enough to hire him. Better hire him before someone else does."

Chuck Morris, Principal, Morris Creative Group LLC

"Austin Church represents the perfect blend of creativity and a keen understanding of the entertainment business. These talents are a must when hiring a writer to juggle a variety of projects at the same time, meet deadlines, and stay on budget, while keeping everyone happy. Austin brings a fresh perspective to every writing project and always seems to have a clear understanding of any goal I want to accomplish. He needs little guidance or supervision to get the job done. I not only recommend Austin for his extraordinary writing skills but also for the pleasure of working with someone so uniquely talented."

Lori Klonaris, General Manager, 4MS Entertainment

"Need a writer? A writer with soul and understanding of the objectives? A writer who understands "Selling Stuff"... Who understands the target audience, and their wishes, wants, and needs? Hire Austin. Better yet, add him to your Team!"

Dr. Scot Chrisman, President, 4th Gear Marketing Group

"If you need it written in a creative, simple and easy to understand way, hire Austin. He provides the text for many of our corporate sites and marketing materials. I wish I could have gotten him to write this recommendation. It would have read much gooder."

Steve Suggs, Executive Vice President of Sales, SalesManage Solutions

"Finding a writer who shapes words into concepts and produces advertising that makes an impact is rare indeed. Austin Church is one of few writers with a discerning ear who has the ability to take marketing 'mumbo jumbo' and transform it into a polished final product. Austin listens well and asks the right questions, questions that help to define the problem, and then he produces copy that is clear, punchy, and professional. Whether a project simply needs a powerful headline or serious conceptual development, I cannot recommend Austin Church with enough enthusiasm. He is a passionate, supportive, and reliable team player."

Dan Frye, Art Director, Dan Frye Design

"Austin Church's work is always fiercely intelligent, original, creative and composed. He combines the best intellectual resources with fearless invention. He is also a person of the highest character, one I would trust in any job situation that calls for responsible leadership."

Dr. Marilyn Kallet, Lindsay Young Professor of English, University of Tennessee

Hospitality
· Ruby Tuesday (Nationwide)
· McDougal's (Nashville)
· Cafe 4 (Knoxville)
· The Tuscany on Grace Bay
· Lagniappe Personal Catering (Nashville)
· S&W Grand (Knoxville)

Churches & Non-Profits
· Second Presbyterian Church
· Apostles Anglican Church
· Holy Paths Ministries
· Compassion Coalition
· Daniel Allen Coaching
· Imagination Library
· Equitas

Creative & Technology
· Dan Frye Design
· Indig Creative
· Ipseity Marketing
· Webservio
· FortySeven Media
· Morris Creative Group

Entertainment
· The Soft Hills
· The Atlas Mountains
· The Dirty Guv'nahs

Service
· Sassafras Floral Design
· SalesManage Solutions
· Triple C Distributing
· Back into Black

Real Estate
· Sperry Van Ness

Healthcare
· EKGs 4U

After taking charge of the Tuscany's marketing and writing in November 2009, I developed a campaign to take advantage of online communities and resources and help the staff, owners, and past and prospective guests interact with one another. For this campaign, photographer and videographer Paul Hassell and I produced a series of videos, entitled "Faces of the Tuscany," featuring all the people who make the luxury boutique resort one of the best in the Turks and Caicos Islands.*

I took care of all the writing and helped the Tuscany establish a presence in the following "places":

Facebook
Twitter
YouTube
Vimeo
Wordpress
Blogger
Squidoo
Sample e-Newsletter
Sample Article
Sample Press Release

This campaign also included ads in Caribbean Travel + Life and tracking with Google Analytics, vanity 1-800 #s, and custom urls.

I've put a lot of hard work into the campaign, and I've been satisfied with the results. Compared to numbers from previous years, revenue is up 25%. Here are some more statistics:

Facebook

Before: When I gained administrative access to the account at the end of December, the Tuscany had 41 Facebook fans.
After: As of June 21, we have 177 fans-a 431% increase!

Twitter

Before: Only 2 tweets and 16 followers.
After: A brand new profile and writing. 40 tweets and 37 people followers.

YouTube & Vimeo

Before: No videos on either site.
After: The Tuscany has its own channel on both sites with six videos on each and more to come. These videos have been watched hundreds of times.

Email Newsletter

Before: Back in November 2009, the Tuscany had an email list of past guests but no regular communication about seasonal rates and offers.
After: As of June 21, 71 people have opted in to receive the Tuscany's bi-monthly e-newsletter, and this number grows weekly. Dozens of people visit the website as a result.

*Note to all the designers out there: Papyrus wasn't my choice.

I recently gave a seminar about effective copywriting to Entrepreneurs of Knoxville.

For those people who like concise lists, here is what I cover in the video, with the help of technical writer Laurel Bowen:

· 3 objectives for every piece of copywriting
· 5 aspects of your brand that you must understand before you begin writing
· 12 characteristics of effective copywriting
· 10 attributes of bad copywriting

Follow this link to watch the video.

I started blogging after I got a full-time job at a marketing firm because I thought that making regular posts would be a good way to keep the rust knocked off. My senior year of college, I wrote a term paper about T.S. Eliot's poetics. I read his poetry, focusing on Four Quartets, and his essays on poetry and writing poetry.

What I learned while writing that paper has stuck with me: Eliot believed that writing a good poem takes practice. Writing is like any other discipline, meaning that it's a discipline. Chances are, you'll only see the fruits or rewards of your many hours of hard work years down the road.

Rather than discourage us, though, Eliot's insights offer some good news. Good writing is not some mystical occurrence to which some people gain access by stroke of fate or from which others are excluded. Stay at it long enough, and you will improve. Persist, invest enough time and elbow grease, and you will become a proficient writer.

Eliot talks about the dual trajectories of craft and experience. Unless you take care to hone your craft, even if that means producing a canon of doggerel, you will not have the skill necessary to capture a truly significant experience. Eliot believes that five to ten years must pass before we've given ourselves the chance to accumulate these transformative experiences.

The question is, are you willing to take a little time every day for the next five years in hopes that you have built up enough literary muscle to lift that boulder of significant experience into the light? Are you willing to accept the mundane task of dogged day-to-day effort, knowing that the payoff may be years in the future?
The answer, for most of us, is no.

I'm convinced, however, that most people who publish books and enjoy a positive critical and public reception are not necessarily the naturally gifted writers who sit down when the muse strikes. They are people who carve out a half hour here and there to put pen to paper, fingertips to keypad. Eliot wrote at least three hours a day. Think about how many words he simply threw in the trash can!

What stands between you and a noteworthy achievement is your lack of discipline, not your lack of inborn talent and ability.

Sure, Shakespeare was a genius, but keep in mind that we know he was a genius because he worked hard at it. People will remember you for what you actually do, not for your potential.

Now, go change the world one writing exercise, one brick, one dirty diaper at a time.

Many artists struggle to stand out, believing that the harder they strive to be one-of-a-kind, the better their chances of attracting attention, and ultimately success.

We learn how to dress the part, and the uniform varies according to the the musical genre, craft, or stylistic movement-expensive skin-tight jeans and hand-rolled cigarettes; tweed jackets and a scowl; a scraggly beard and plaid thrift-store shirt.

In an effort to strike out past the Pluto of imagination and deeper than the Marianas trench in self-expression, we fall prey to the latest fads.

We resemble everyone else who is trying to be different. All the Goth kids look alike. All the aspiring prose stylists channel Ernest Hemingway or Jack Kerouac. The latest indie buzz bands sound just like Neutral Milk Hotel or The Clash. In seeking originality, we walk circles in the realm of mediocrity and obscurity.

The remedy?

Honesty.

The following quote from C.S. Lewis reassured me that to find my voice, I need only dig deeper into my own experience and communicate it with as much honesty as I can muster:

"Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring two pence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it." (Mere Christianity 226).

Honesty is originality. No one else has my story. If I tell it faithfully, no one else will have ever done that. We can wear whatever we want, Polo shirts and starched khakis, if the mood strikes.

Sometimes my sense of humor gets the best of me-like the time I sent my sister a dead squirrel for her birthday through the campus mail system at Lipscomb University. That's a story for another time.

Yet, if I've learned anything about advertising, I know this to be true: when most people are inundated with ads and cannot focus for more than a couple of seconds at a time, you have to do something pretty special if you want people's attention. Bill Glazer, a well-known marketing strategist, would say that you need to be "outrageous." To be memorable, you should create some controversy.

Long story short, my new roommate has much nicer furniture than me, so when he moved in, I needed to get rid of the couch my mom found at a garage sale.

What to do?

Craigslist, of course. Now, the trick was to stand out, get noticed. That's the first rule of an effective headline-attract people's attention with self-interest, news, or curiosity. I threw in a dash of humor, a pinch of hyperbole, and a just a smidgen of defying people's expectations and offered the exact opposite of what I figured people searching for furniture wanted. I wrote a headline that anyone with the time to look at furniture on Craigslist couldn't resist:

"Ugliest Couch in the World & slip cover - $50."

Here's the rest of the listing:

Today is the best day of your life.

Why?

Because you have the chance to own the Ugliest Couch in the World.

This abomination was produced sometime in the 80s. It had to be. The broad stripes of hunter green, marigold, navy, and red look like they belong on a Ralph Lauren sweater from that era.

This seating solution would be the perfect compliment to a frat house, sorority slum, or opium den. It can comfortably accommodate 4 generous backsides.

This couch is 100% all-natural. No testing on animals. No genetically modified materials.

Decrease your ecological impact by saving this unique piece of furniture from the landfill.

Enjoy the peace of mind that comes from knowing you've done your part to preserve our planet for future generations.

But wait...there's more!

This stylish sofa comes with a slipcover!

The purest of chocolate browns, this bonus item is less than a year old and comes with its very own carrying case.

Though the cover alone could cost you almost one hundred smackers on the internet, you get both the couch and the cover for...

the low, low price of...

$50.

Or best offer.

Please act quickly because this lovable lounge-piece is one of a kind.

****

People love the absurd. Give it to them. It rarely undermines your professionalism or credibility, and you'll probably sell what you want to sell. I sold the couch in less than twenty-four hours for $60, more than I originally asked.

My favorite response? From "Juicemang":

"I'll give you $40 and a kick in the nuts for that couch. Please let me know, I'm on the floor right now."

The response that says the most about the effectiveness of an outrageous posting:

"hello-
is your couch still available for purchase?
i have to say, your ad definitely sold me on it. ha.

if it is, what is the length of the couch??

thanks!"