Be Instrumental in Promoting Peace
So you want to learn how to resolve conflicts through mediation? This lens provides you with all of the tools, techniques and resources you will need to become an awesome mediator.
What You'll Find On This Page
What is a Mediator?
Discover the Wonderful World of Alternative Dispute Resolution
Mediation offers an informal, safe and impartial forum for disputing parties to engage in an open and honest conversation so that they can hopefully move toward a mutually agreeable solution. The mediator acts only as a facilitator of the negotiation between the parties.The mediator does not judge, side with one party, render a verdict or offer legal advice. The mediator has no stake in the outcome and therefore can be highly effective in remaining unbiased throughout the proceedings.
In a court case, there is always a loser whether it be one party, or both. Mediation allows both parties to work together to create a win-win situation. The parties enter into a mutually agreeable resolution by way of negotiation and compromise. This is a much better option than having a judge render a verdict that may be less than ideal for either party.
The types of issues that can be resolved using this forum include but are not limited to:
- Neighbor - Neighbor
- Condo Associations
- Small Claims
- Employee - Employer
- Commercial
- Community
- Faith Based
- Landlord - Tenant
- Securities & Trades
- Matrimonial
- Victim - Offender
- Minor Criminal Offense
- Contracts
- Peer to Peer
- Civil
- Construction/Contractor
- Insurance Claims
- Real Estate
- E-Commerce
- Intellectual Property/Patent Disputes
- And much more!
Mediation can be a cost-effective alternative to time-consuming court proceedings. Although a mediator's hourly charge can be on the same lines as that of an attorney, the disputing parties typically split the cost of the total process. This means that money is saved because there aren't two attorneys, filing fees or duplicate appearance fees. Mediation also saves time because it usually only lasts one to two days at most. This means no long, drawn out court proceedings and no additional loss time off work.
Your Actual Court Costs
An Examination of the Cost of Litigation
The truth of the matter is that every one has a legal issue at some point in their lives. In this litigious society, it is almost guaranteed that you will either sue or be sued. You do not have to be a criminal or a scofflaw either. This poll is for those who have previously been involved in a lawsuit. Its purpose is to demonstrate just how much a court case can cost. Think about your last court proceedings and the amounts you paid from beginning to end. Include attorney fees, appearance and filing fees and other court costs then answer the question below.
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Did You Know...
Mediation saves both time and money!
For Your Mediation Toolkit
Skills for Further Focus
Mediation is all about helping people to come to their own solutions to problems rather than having a third party force them into a solution that is less than ideal for either party. In court cases we know that there is ALWAYS a loser whether it be one party or both. Mediation works because it allows a neutral platform for the disputing parties to work together amicably to resolve their conflict.
This involves a lot of skill on the mediator's part in facilitating the conversation effectively. The mediator has to use active listening and provocative questions to move the parties from their concrete positions into an understanding of each other's individual needs and interests. Part of this process is just in summarizing each of the party's statements. Often when we are in a heated argumement, we completely disregard what is being said by the other person for want to be heard ourselves. When the mediator summarizes what has been said, the parties have an opportunity to actually hear pertinent information because it is coming from the mediator.
Sometimes the mediator uses the client's own words verbatim in order to stress important points. The mediator also neutralizes negative, hurtful and offensive language by paraphrasing statements and extracting words that are not conducive to creating an agreement.
The types of questions the mediator asks have four main purposes:
Reality-testing is by far the most important skill a mediator can bring to the table. Reality-testing is the mediator's way of sorting out whether a potential agreement will be enforceable. Mediated agreements possess an over 90% success rate in holding water due to the reality-testing process. When a party sets a solution out on the table, the mediator asks questions to help determine how feasible the option will be for both parties. For instance, if the dispute is over money and one party agrees to pay a certain amount to the other, the mediator will ask questions to outline when the money will be paid, how it will be paid (check, money order, cash, etc.), where it will be paid, whom will accept the payment, how the money will be earned to pay the amount agreed, if it is realistic to pay that whole amount or should a schedule of smaller payments be created, what will happen to other bills if this money is paid out, if the amount agreed upon is really enough to satisfy the dispute and many others. The mediator can ask ANY question he/she feels necessary to reality-test the options available.
There are many other more subtle skills in mediation but the following short list should assist in developing the basics. Consistently work to hone these skills. The greater your mastery of each tool, the more awesome of a mediator you will be.
This involves a lot of skill on the mediator's part in facilitating the conversation effectively. The mediator has to use active listening and provocative questions to move the parties from their concrete positions into an understanding of each other's individual needs and interests. Part of this process is just in summarizing each of the party's statements. Often when we are in a heated argumement, we completely disregard what is being said by the other person for want to be heard ourselves. When the mediator summarizes what has been said, the parties have an opportunity to actually hear pertinent information because it is coming from the mediator.
Sometimes the mediator uses the client's own words verbatim in order to stress important points. The mediator also neutralizes negative, hurtful and offensive language by paraphrasing statements and extracting words that are not conducive to creating an agreement.
The types of questions the mediator asks have four main purposes:
- to request information
- to clarify facts
- to establish areas of commonality (agreement)
- and to reality-test options
Reality-testing is by far the most important skill a mediator can bring to the table. Reality-testing is the mediator's way of sorting out whether a potential agreement will be enforceable. Mediated agreements possess an over 90% success rate in holding water due to the reality-testing process. When a party sets a solution out on the table, the mediator asks questions to help determine how feasible the option will be for both parties. For instance, if the dispute is over money and one party agrees to pay a certain amount to the other, the mediator will ask questions to outline when the money will be paid, how it will be paid (check, money order, cash, etc.), where it will be paid, whom will accept the payment, how the money will be earned to pay the amount agreed, if it is realistic to pay that whole amount or should a schedule of smaller payments be created, what will happen to other bills if this money is paid out, if the amount agreed upon is really enough to satisfy the dispute and many others. The mediator can ask ANY question he/she feels necessary to reality-test the options available.
There are many other more subtle skills in mediation but the following short list should assist in developing the basics. Consistently work to hone these skills. The greater your mastery of each tool, the more awesome of a mediator you will be.
- Active Listening
- Techniques and strategies for being a good, active listener with individuals and in lectures
- Constructive Feedback
- Constructive feedback is the ability to offer valid, well-thought out opinions about another's performance. Constructive feedback places great emphasis on reinforcing the positives and seeks to identify opportunities for reaching agreement in areas of common ground. Part of this process includes being able to "mirror" each party's own words and "neutralizing" unproductive language.
- Asking Effective Questions
- Mediators help guide the communication between the two parties through carefully interjected questions. Questions are used to obtain additional information, clarify positions, validate emotions and, most importantly, to jumpstart conversation.
- How To Resolve Conflict
- Resolving differences between individuals, small groups and organizations.
- Dealing with Difficult People
- When dealing with difficult people, our immediate urge is to jump to our own defense. Today, there are smarter moves to make when dealing with someone difficult.
- More on Dealing with Difficult People
- Transactional Analysis (TA) is a study of the interactions between us humans. It can be pretty dry reading at times, yet the theory behind it is powerful.I once heard someone describe it as the New NLP once, and I belive it could well be that transformational. So forgive the dull as dishwater title
- Understaning Emotions
- In mediations, you will find that understanding and acknowledging emotions can move the parties closer to an agreement much faster than ignoring them. Here are some of the major emotions you will run across as well as ways to identify them.
- Addressing Unmet Needs & Interests
- Just as emotions are highly important to acknowledge, so is identifying unmet needs and interests. The majority of the time a conflict has nothing to do with the stated issue at hand or either of the parties' positions. The conflict is really about unmet needs and dissatisfied interests. It is the mediator's job to identify these needs and interests. A solid enforceable agreement is almost entirely dependent on how well each of the party's underlying needs and interests are met within its terms.
Mediation Certification & Training
- Center for Conflict Resolution
- CCR offers a 40-hour mediation training which also partially satisfies the Cook County mediation rules for certification. A select few of those completing mediation training are chosen to perform volunteer mediations through the Cook County Court systems as well as CCR's own mediation proceedings.
- Circuit Court of Cook County - Mediation Rules
- Information regarding Cook County's rules and qualifications in certifying mediators.
In a court case there is ALWAYS a loser!
Mediation allows BOTH parties to walk away with a mutually agreed upon satisfactory solution to their conflict. In a court case, there is always a loser, whether it be one party or both.
Building Your Mediation Business
Mediators in private practice typically charge $250 to $450 per hour. Clients are referred by their attorneys or by the court if the mediator is listed as a trusted certified mediator. A significant number of clients are attained via the internet so creating a web presence can be important. Additionally, many mediators contract with labor unions, human resource departments, government agencies and insurance companies to iron out employment or contract disputes. Divorce and family mediation is in high demand. It may serve well to add this niche to your specialization. Books About Mediation
The Mediator's Handbook
Amazon Price: $16.47 (as of 12/21/2009) 
The Mediation Process: Practical Strategies for Resolving Conflict
Amazon Price: $43.45 (as of 12/21/2009)
The Promise of Mediation: The Transformative Approach to Conflict
Amazon Price: $39.95 (as of 12/21/2009)
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
Amazon Price: $10.40 (as of 12/21/2009)
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most
Amazon Price: $10.40 (as of 12/21/2009)
Additional Resources for Mediators
- The Chicago International Dispute Resolution Association (CIDRA)
- CIDRA - The Chicago International Dispute Resolution Association is a new forum for resolving transnational business disputes. Based in Chicago, one of the world's leading commercial centers, CIDRA provides a neutral, private setting for arbitration and mediation.
- AAA - Arbitration, Mediation and other forms of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR)
- The American Arbitration Association ® (AAA), with its long history and experience in the field of alternative dispute resolution, provides services to individuals and organizations who wish to resolve conflicts out of court.
- Mediate.com
- Find over 2,500 ADR professionals in the Mediate.com Directory. Over 5,000 articles and resources on negotiation, mediation and collaboration. Extensive video center.
- The Association for Conflict Resolution | ACR
- The Association for Conflict Resolution is a professional organization dedicated to enhancing
the practice and public understanding of conflict resolution. The Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR) is the nation's largest professional association for mediators, arbitrators, educators and other conflict resolution practitioners. Its mission is to advance the practice, research, public understanding and teaching of conflict prevention and resolution. With more than 6,500 members, ACR works in a wide range of settings throughout the United States and around the world.
Mediation Agreement Checklist
Positions Stated
Emotions Acknowledged
Needs & Interests Addressed
Common Ground Reached
Equal Exchange Negotiated
Exact Terms Outlined
"Let us never negotiate out of fear. But, let us never fear to negotiate."
I Want to Hear From You
Your Input Is Important to Me
Your questions, comments and constructive feedback is most welcome. If you're feeling like negotiations are in order feel free to also email me at contactme@niquenyafulbright.com to request a mediation consultation. Don't let fear get in the way of your willingness to end a conflict. Just take a look at the John F. Kennedy quote above. Remember to Favorite this page so you can stay abreast of future news and important updates.
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- Reasonable_Divorces Reasonable_Divorces Feb 21, 2009 @ 4:13 pm
- This is a very interesting lens. You share a lot of helpful information here. When you get the chance, I'd love it if you'd stop by my Divorce Buddy System lens and say hello.
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- recoveringengineer recoveringengineer Aug 27, 2008 @ 10:36 am
- This is a really good resource. Fantastic articles and list of links. Thanks for the work you put into developing it. It's so good, I had to link to you on some of my lenses with related content. Great work!
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- Jo_Murphy Jo_Murphy Aug 25, 2008 @ 10:09 am
- Hi! This is a really helpful lens, let's hope it encourages more people to try mediation rather than get into conflict and the court system. well done, thanks!
lensrolled & 5 stars from me!
Jo
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- LesKremer LesKremer Aug 21, 2008 @ 7:31 pm
- Great info..thanks
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- momsherbs momsherbs Aug 21, 2008 @ 1:29 am
- Hi Coach,
Glad to see you on squidoo!
Marguerite - momsherbs
by coachniquenya
Niquenya D. Fulbright is an executive life coach, mediator, management consultant, author and corporate trainer with over 10 years experience inspirin... (more)
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