Back When We Were Grownups

We all have a certain image of ourselves, a time when someone observes a quality within us that we are quite certain we don't really have. The same is true of Rebecca, everyone is always counting on her to be the life of the party, to lead the others into having fun, to organize things and keep them going.

Rebecca is convinced that they are all wrong about her, she knows what she was supposed to be, the person she longed to be in her younger days. Then quite suddenly she met her husband and her life changed course. When he died, leaving her a young widow, she was thrust into the role of family caretaker... but she's not sure she wants the job.

So which Rebecca is the real Rebecca?

Rebecca is a likable character mostly because she is realistic. She is middle aged, a little soft around the edges, and uncertain of who she is or what she wants to do with her life.

For a time you wonder, how did she get saddled with all of the responsibility from her deceased husbands family? Why didn't she walk away?

Then you realize that the things we do for our family rarely make sense.

We loan money to people who never pay it back, plan birthday parties without a thank you, babysit kids on demand, bake cookies for someone who is sick, only to be told they would have preferred a cake.

Family is family, and no matter how dysfunctional they may be they will always be our family. The worst part is, we really do love them, no matter how crazy they might make us feel.

Rebecca could be any of us, because we all wonder what alternate lives we might have lived if we had turned left instead of right.

I think that's why I loved her most, because she was honest.

I pay close attention to the writers style when I read any book. Anne Tyler had a smooth style that was easy to read. She showed a deep understanding of the family dynamic, and of the struggles Rebecca faces in growing older.

Her descriptions were never forced, slowly revealing each character as the story unfolds. Characters themselves were interesting and engaging.

Overall I found Anne Tyler to be well worth reading again.