How To Get Back With Your Ex | The Magic Of Making Up

It's only natural for such emotions as panic, fear, anxiety, and frustration to set in. Remember that's the jolt of realizing what you had.

It happens to everybody. We are not at our most rational mindset. We just want to desperately tell our ex how we feel, but the problem is that we just don't give them any space.

We bombard them with telephone calls and the text messages that we end up suffocating them.



It's not your fault. It's a natural reaction to something as devastating as this.

But while you are trying so hard to get back with your ex, that all you are doing is just getting in your own way.

For instance, we'll start arguing about the breakup. This is when you can tell you're not thinking straight. After all, how many times does arguing lead to anything good?

The point is that we shouldn't be trying to be aggressive or argumentative in this kind of situation. As hard as it may seem, you really need to control your emotions.

Think about it, your relationship now is in a very rocky situation and your getting into an argument with the last person you should be arguing with.

If you broke up with somebody, you don't want to be screaming at them, telling them what a horrible mistake they made. Even though, you may have the best intentions, do you think that's going to help you in any way?

You also don't want to get overly apologetic. It just doesn't come off well. People, irregardless of the situation don't respond well to that. It comes off needy and in this turbulent time in the relationship, it doesn't help your case.

Remember the goal is to get back with your ex, not hassle and berate them.

This is the same mistake that everybody makes, and how often have you seen it work for all the people that you know who have broken up? My guess is not many.

This is where T.W. Jackson's book, The Magic of Making Up really helps people that are in such a tough spot.

The Magic of Making Up teaches a much different approach on how to get back with your ex.

It tries to teach people how to leave the emotions at the door and tries to tackle this problem from a much more philosophical point of view.

We want to handle this situation just right.

Use this kind of analogy. Pretend you're in a jungle and you want to get closer to a deer, but you don't want to make any sudden moves to scare it away.

That's probably the best metaphor I could think of for explaining what the The Magic of Making Up does.

It knows that you are in a sensitive situation, and even more importantly, your ex is a sensitive situation. So we want to handle this situation, with a lot of delicate care and proper preparation.

It goes through over all the steps that are needed to take to get back with your ex.

For instance the book talks about the kind of sincerity that needs to be involved.

It's one thing just to say "you are sorry", but if it doesn't come from a sincere place, it's not going to help you out.

The book teaches you how to drop the ego that's involved with many breakups.



It shows how patience is the key to any relationship getting back together, and more importantly staying back together.

It also talks about taking the time to assess the relationship. Again, we want to make sure we are in a calm frame of mind before we get to the makeup stage.

Do some digging. Pretend your relationship is a report that you have to give to somebody.

Without getting emotionally strained, start writing down both the great things that made the relationship so important to you as well as things in the relationship that you wish were better.

Try not to be judgemental. Remember we want cooler heads to prevail here.

The Magic of Making Up really goes in depth on all this and gives exact STEP BY STEP methods on how to get back with your ex.

Honestly, The Magic of Making Up will work for anybody that is going through a really tough breakup.

It could be a married couple who is in the process of separating or it could be a couple of college kids who just broke up.

It really doesn't matter. If there is one thing in this world, that's universal, it's love.



Actually what might be even more universal is the breakup.

Sure, the reason for the breakup may vary from case to case, but the underlying reasons for getting back together are almost always the same.

The only problem is that most people need a road map to help them, and that's what The Magic of Making Up provides for people.

It teaches people both, what to say and what not to say from a fair, impartial viewpoint.

It doesn't matter if you're a guy who wants to get back with his ex-girlfriend or a girl who wants to get back with her ex-boyfriend, we've all been there.

The Book doesn't really delve deep on needless theories or just empty filler. It really gets to the heart of the situation and tries to give real, honest solutions to your problem.

It also talks about some of the subliminal, understated things that no one even thinks about. For example, there is an excellent little section about the foods you eat and how they can control your emotions.

There are just a lot of hidden gems in the book that will help so many people out, irregardless of age, sex, race, religion.

Like I said this is universal stuff.

I know that you are for the most part a very rational human being, but obviously these tough circumstances can cause anxiety and panic.

These are the kind of things that can lead to the cliched drunk call late at night. Even if you don't reach them and just leave a message on their answering machine, you know you've made a mistake, because you let panic takeover.

It's the kind of thing that feels good to do when you've had one too many beers but when you wake the next morning in this hungover daze, you just know the horrible mistake you have made.

Yep. There is no doubt about it. Panic is a killer for people who are trying to get back with their ex.

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The tough part is that panic can hit anybody. It doesn't even matter if they were happy in the relationship.

I've known people who have had absolutely miserable relationships and yet when they broke up, they became very anxious. You wouldn't think that would be the case, but it happens.

The reason being is that the relationship had a certain comfort level for them. It was part of your day to day routine.

It would be the same exact feeling you have if you just lost your job.

Now, you could be the type of person who hates their job. But I'd be willing to bet if you lost it, panic would hit you like a ton of bricks.

T.W. Jackson understands where this is coming from and shows you the exact steps you have to do, to release this panic and focus on the goal at hand, which to getting back with your ex.

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I'm sure everybody has heard of the phrase "time is of the essence". This is doubly true for trying to get back together with your ex.

The Magic of Making Up discusses how time takes care of these incredibly anxious and panicky feelings you are having.

You ever broke up with somebody and thought your world was coming to an end? Of course you have!!!

You think at that moment you will never be able to get over this. You are just a train wreck of emotions. You wonder what's the point of getting out of bed???

Cut to a month later. How are you?

You may not be the jolliest person in the world but I seriously doubt that you are as emotionally scarred as that person a month before. What was the solution? TIME!!

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Now, tell me, which person do you think has a better chance of getting back to with their ex? Joe/Jane Doe from the day after the break up or after a month has passed? The answer is rather obvious.

You know what else that time does? It gives your ex time to miss you. I don't care what the reason was for the break up. The cause of spending some time apart will make your ex miss you. It's inevitable!!

All that time spent together with somebody, irregardless of how turbulent it may have been will always leave lingering feelings from your ex.

Not to mention, how respectful and mature its making YOU look. It shows that you are aware of their situation, not just your own. It makes you look cool, calm, and under control. Think about that the next time, you feel like picking up that phone.

Get the Step by Step Process From T.W. Jackson, himself.

Obviously, waiting for time to do its thing can be quite excruciating. TW Jackson, understands this, and in the book, The Magic of Making Up, he goes over what he calls "The Fast Forward Technique" in which he gives you five simple steps that you can do at least three times to day to lessen the pain, and make time feel like its moving a little faster.

Its a self introspective way of looking at the problems you are facing and gradually, day by day help manage your feelings, and it has helped out A LOT of people.

After a breakup, you should be thinking about what drew you to your former lover in their first place, and where exactly did it all go wrong.

The beginning is such a fun time, isn't it? You were in that stage where you are still getting to know each other and you get to ask each other, the fun little questions.

You find out how much you have in common. Whether it be the movies you both like, the books you both have read, or the music you both listen to, there is certainly a connection.

That's what you want to get back to.

As a relationship progresses, that fun, romantic stage seems to lessen, and the day to day grind of the relationship starts taking its toll.

Its common in relationships for something like this to happen. People get complacent and start taking each other for granted.

That's why its so critical that during this time out in the breakup, that you truly appreciate what it was about them, that you couldn't get out of your mind when you were first dating.

When you got up in the morning, they were always the first person you thought of. Get back to that frame of mind. It's easy after a break up to get fixated on all the petty stuff that happens in a relationship, but you'll never get back with your ex, with that kind of mindset.

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As great as it is to look at nothing but the positives of the relationship, its also important to take note of the negatives. What exactly went wrong?

In certain relationships, it could be due to a one time incident that was too harsh for the couple to stay together.

For other couples, its just a lot of little things that add up to a lot.

Grab a piece of paper and start making a list. Try not to put too much emotion on this. When I say this, I mean you are obviously having some strong feelings, so don't list as a negative that "she's easy" or "he's a jerk". Try to treat this as if it was a project. Be very subjective and try not o use these kind of put downs.

Think back on the relationship, and think of all the hiccups that you had. It could be something like:

* Our likes are very different
* I want more time together, they wanted their own space
* Couldn't agree on living arrangements
* Our value systems are different

Something along these lines.

The whole point of this exercise is to really diagnose the problem.

In your relationship's case, it may be just a case of infidelity.

With infidelity, you still have to dig a little deeper.

Most of the time, there is usually some kind of buildup in the relationship that caused this to happen. Sometimes its just a case of going out with a person who has obvious commitment issues. The point is to dig a little deeper and the find the root cause of this.

As long as you are being objective throughout all of this, and their is no name calling involved, you will be taking great steps in getting back with your ex.

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