Barack Obama Jokes

Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.

Q. Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. He's deciding which of his names (Barack Barry Hussein Obama Soetoro) to put on it.

Q. But no, seriously, why won't Obama the Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A. It proves he didn't have a virgin birth.

Q. Why did Obama think that he had campaigned in 57 states?
A. His heavy pot use has left him a brownie short of a full pan.

Q. Why won't Obama laugh at himself?
A. Because that would be racist.

Q. Why wouldn't Barack salute the American flag?
A. It was ours.

Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.

"Political pundits say Colin Powell is the biggest political figure to endorse Barack Obama since Bill and Hillary. And the only one of those three that will actually vote for him."

"The presidential debate was a town hall format, which is John McCain's favorite way to speak to crowds, as opposed to Barack Obama's favorite way, a Sermon on the Mount."

"Barack Obama continues to criticize John McCain's economic plan. McCain would like to criticize Obama's plan, but nobody knows what it is yet. So we're still waiting."

"According to the New York Times, Barack Obama's campaign is having a hard time meeting their fundraising goals. And they're pressing their donors for more money. They want more money. In fact, Obama said today, he's willing to take change. He will now accept change."

"Barack Obama said today the government's $700 billion bailout should not be a blank check. Barack Obama says he knows that $700 billion is a lot of money. In fact, it would take him at least 10 Hollywood fund raisers to come up with that kind of money."

"Earlier this evening, Barack Obama was in Hollywood at a big fundraiser, a sold-out fundraiser featuring Barbra Streisand singing. $28,500 a ticket. Barbra Streisand was singing. All the big Hollywood stars were there. It featured dinner prepared by the finest Hollywood chefs serving an array of gourmet food. I believe the topic tonight was how John McCain is out of touch with the common people."

"Barack Obama now says he is open to offshore oil drilling. So, apparently, when he promised change, he was talking about his mind."