Barbara Cartland's Book of Love and Lovers

About Dame Barbara

Opposite: A young Barbara in 1925.

Dame Barbara Cartland is the author of around 723 romance novels, which I'm guessing all contain dark, rich handsome men and innocent young women! That's an incredible amount of writing. I wonder where she got all her ideas from. Of course, I'm sure it helps having a secretary and lots of help around the home... er... mansion.

I've actually never read any of Barbara's novels, despite being a sucker for a good romance. However, reading her comment in The Book of Love and Lovers I think I can get a pretty clear idea of what her books are like!

Dame Barbara Cartland was also Princess Diana's step-grandmother.

One of the great loves of Barbara's life was her pure white Lion Pekingese, Twi-Twi. She said of Twi-Twi "I love him because he is proud, independant and he protects me by biting newcomers!"

Adam and Eve

Barbara says of Adam "...Modern woman has undermined his authority as master in his own house, and in a plastic apron doing the washing-up he is a pathetic pseudo-man."

Of Eve she says "Today, in trousers, she is an inadequate imitation of Adam."

Well, I don't suppose there was much washing-up to do in Eden and Eve had those handy fig leaves to keep covered. I don't suppose there were many nettles or other men to oggle at her!

The Goddess of Love

Barbara says that she thinks men identify the goddess of Love with the woman they love and therefore she is often "depicted ugly as well as beautiful"!

Apparently Botticelli's Venus is Simonetta Vespucci who died of consumption when she was 23. Well, no wonder, if she was hanging about naked on a windy day. Barbara says her body was carried through Florence with her face uncovered so everyone could see how beautiful she was.

Love At First Sight

Ah! My namesake!

Jacob fell in love with Rachel as soon as he saw her.

He had to work for her father for 7 years before he could marry her and then Rachel's father tricked Jacob into marrying her sister, Leah.

Jacob worked another 7 years for Rachel.

Barbara says: "I cannot help feeling that Rachel must have lost some of her youthful charms, but we are told a woman never alters in the eyes of a man who loves her."

Luckily I don't have a sister.

Preparing for Love

Burne-Jones describe his painting as "a beautiful romantic dream of something that never was, never will be - in a light better than any light that ever shone - in a land no one can define or remember, only desire."

Barbara uses this image to illustrate women preparing for love by studying their own reflections and checking that they look perfect. She says "Doubtless Eve, staring into a stream in the Garden of Eden, tried the effect of many different leaves until she finally decided on the one she picked first - a fig leaf."

Temptations of Love

Ah! The temptations of Love.

This section of Barbara's book covers all the wicked women who tempt men- including a very sexy Eve tempting the serpent, instead of the other way around!

La Belle Dame (pictured here) seduces the poor knight and drags him back to her hovel, sapping him of his strength.

Who could resist such a poor maiden, all alone in the wilderness? Surely she needs a handsome strong knight to rescue her?

You might have seen quite a few paintings of her- she was a favourite of the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood.

Have you seen this man?

He was last spotted by this woodland pool, talking with five lovely ladies.

If you have any information, please phone Hercules on 555 ELYSIA

Barbara writes that the nymphs were obviously posed for by the same model but "she was very lovely it doesn't matter or lessesn the allure of the picture".

Love Forbidden

Clandestine Love

Napoleon

Napoleon wrote to Josephine "Not a day passes without my loving you, not a night but I hold you in my arms."

Apparently Josephine's sisters-in-law were disgusted that they had to be her train-bearers and refused to carry her very heavy train until Napoleon told them off!

Apparently Napoleon thought Josephine's crown suited her so well that he made her wear it in private during dinner after her coronation!

Confessions of Love

Yikes! What has this naughty girl been up to?

Look at that white dress- butter wouldn't melt.

Barbara says "Confessions are always a coward's way of shifting the burden of guilt, and this wife should have kept her sins to herself."

Rachel says "Don't do anything that's going to make you feel guilty later. Including eating all of that chocolate cake... it's hard to get melted chocolate out of a white dress."

Punishment for Love

Basically right, this King Sardanapalus (who was the King of Ninevah and Assyria) ordered his eunuchs and guards to kill all his wives, pages and favourite animals on the event of his death. I guess so no one else could get any "pleasure" out of them when he died.

Barbara says of this "Men always expect a woman to be ready to sacrifice herself for them - if not by death, by living in the wilds of nowhere, by moving continually from place to place, by giving up any interest which conflicts with theirs. What should we do? Refuse? Of course not, that is the price one pays for Love!"

Try telling that to my sweetheart who goes to work all day and looks after me whilst I chase butterflies.

Laments for Love

This poor girl has been jilted by her lover.

In the stream you can see destroyed love letters floating away.

Poor girl. Perhaps she read Jane Austen's novels and had unrealistic expectations of love and romance.

Put your bonnet back on, Love. Hold your head up high and make him regret it!