Barbara Ling - Maverick Mom, Dynamic Trainer, Moose Wrangler, More!

Well, okay, I've made approximately 3,284 promises to myself while growing up (and in my 40s, I'm still growing!). But this particular promise occurred when I married my husband (also known as my moosebin, more on that later).

Here was the promise:

What a promise, eh? But it's true. (Oh, and about the image you see - that's from Balto II, Wolfquest - I designed a poster for my front door that says, You Never Stop Learning.)

You see, my self-confidence level back then was on par of a sheep facing a Godzilla who just awakened from a hunger strike. It was non-existent - I was one of those bullied, picked-on kids who had some truly agonizing hellish years in school when growing up.

And pathetic individual that I was, I never really did share with my parents what was going on back then.

Things changed, of course (I'll have to write a lens about that someday!) and from my 20s on, I gave myself permission to accept the really super person I am and to honor all that that makes up "me". But such early school abuse does leave its scars...and one of my life-goals is to raise my kids to be self-confident individuals at the least and self-confident leaders at the most.

So! If you were to condense my philsophy up into a nifty neato teeny tiny paragraph or 17, it would be:

"Everything happens for a reason...and life, it's a hero's journey. Relish every step of the way."

So! Let me now showcase some interests of mine. First off, of course, there's the:

Besides being the all-powerful Mother Unit, I also wear a plethora of other hats as well! One of my favorites is that of Moose Wrangler Extraordinare.

No, I'm not talking about these critters:

Instead, my mooses are a delightful rowdy bunch of two slightly moose-sized doggies. Check 'em out at the New and Exciting:

Besides two mooses, my house has been blessed with the parallel-universe Twitter Budgies! as well.

(Yes, I love parakeets and built a lens about 'em too - check it out at Parakeet Tricks)

Twitter Budgies! are the ultimate problem solving parakeets for some of the most commonly-experienced Twitter Problems, would you believe that? Just check 'em out as they're busy at their jobs:

As well as being a moose wrangler, maverick mom, sexy spouse for 16 years and the like, I'm also an online entrepreneur and have been so since 1998 (wow, over a decade!).

You can get a complete list of my achievements and credentials over at my Virtual Coach About Me! page. It's 'waaaay too long to go into here....I figure if you'd like to learn about business and the like, you can explore that link at your convenience.

About what else can i rhapsodize? Hmmmmmm....ah yes! What about:

Every mom has their own special values and quirks that define them incredibly unique and astonishingly magnificent. Here are mine!

1.) I'm big on ownership of emotions.

One of the key things I teach my kids is to take ownership of their own emotions. Sure, they can get mad and such...but how they choose to react....THEY OWN THAT! In other words, people don't make them behave in any one way....they do so themselves.

With 4 kids in the home, this has virtually eradicated sibling rivalry. Speaking of which:

2.) I do not tolerate sibling rivalry.

From the get-go, I have taught my kids to support one another in everything they do. That means if Honorable Daughter 2 gets a 100 on her test or Honorable Boy 1 wins 4th place in a karate tournament or Honorable Daughter 1 stands up for her friends at school or Honorable Boy 2 learns to laugh at himself, the other three kids will congratulate the kid in question big time.

Sure, we have had our issues of "I'm jealous!". That's one reason why I refused to allow Honorable Daughter 1 to take Sais at karate - that was Honorable Daughter 2's area of mastery and she completely owned that activity. I've seen cases in families where one kid is ALWAYS superior to everyone else in the family...and I just refuse to let that happen in mine. Everyone should have their own niche in which to excel.

Since then, HD2 dropped sais, alas. These things happen.

3.) I am utterly irrational about bullying.

Having been bullied myself as a child, my kids know that Lings don't start fights, but they do stop them. That means if a kid decides to pick on one of my kids, they have my permission to stand up for themselves and refuse to be a victim.

My kids know that not only will I support them in refusing to be a victim...but they had also better not even consider bullying someone else. So far, they've listened intently to that mantra of mine...I really hope it continues!!

4.) I refuse to judge my kids.

Okay, that's a blatant lie - of COURSE I judge them in my mind, but.....they're not aware of that. Thus, they'll come to me with all sorts of questions and confusions. I've dealt with questions ranging from sex to drugs to "what happens after we die" to intolerance to "nobody likes me!" to "you're so unfair!" to ....gosh you name it, I've probably dealt with it.

I think that's one of the toughest things about being a parent....being able to discuss things without letting your own biases show. Certainly, I'll tell my kids my opinions AFTER they bring up their concerns to me, but I'm really trying to let them know that no matter what....Mom listens.

It's reeeeeaalllly hard to do that sometimes.

5.) I choose my battles.

There are some things that are critical to me...empathy, good study skills, fun times outside...and there are some things that I see as not so important. Thus, I'll admit it...I'm not exactly the neatest mom you'll ever encounter, nor could my kids double as operating surgeons in a hospital!

I tell my husband I was born lacking the neat gene. Hey, it happens. :)

6.) I demand respect from my kids and offer the same in return.

One thing that really frosts my petunias regarding kids nowadays is so many of them are just plain rude to their parents, their teachers, etc.etc.etc. I refuse to tolerate that in my household.

Certainly, you might say, Jeepers Barbara, that's like "my way or the highway." Yep, I'll agree with that. Worse things have happened. :)

I firmly believe that learning is a never-ending adventure. Here are 5 people who have influenced me over the past 40-odd years.

My folks. Married now for 56 years, they raised me with love and compassion and all-around wonderfulness. My mom is almost always right about everything, which truly baffles me at times.

My karate senseis. I started taking karate with my kids 2 years ago. We have some fascinating characters at the dojo, including individuals who look like punk rockers, 20-somethings who regularly hand me my rear in sparring etc.etc.etc. Funny thing is, the punk-rock folk turned out to be some of the sweetest people I've ever met, and the 20-somethings completely respect my desire to better myself (even if I'm a wee bit incompetent compared to them).

They taught me that wisdom knows no age.

Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine. The mother of King Richard the Lion-hearted, this woman broke out of the mold normally occupied by 12th century wives and queens. She wrote her own destiny and her story is very inspirting indeed. You can learn more about her at the Eleanor of Aquitaine.

I first learned about her from Sharon Key Penman's marvelous novels, including:

....Time and Chance is the second part of her planned trilogy about Henry II and Eleanor of Aquitaine, beginning in the glory years of their reign. Penman conjures for us an astonishing era in which Henry battles with the Welsh and the French king, appoints Thomas Becket as Archbishop of Canterbury, and, by taking a mistress, makes a bitter enemy of his wife.

Readers know the scalpel-like precision of Penman's character building from her earlier work, and the emotional lives of Henry and the troubled Eleanor are powerfully realized.....MORE....

Donna Gillespie. Donna Gillespie is the author of the most incredible book written during the 20th and 21st centuries, The Light Bearer and Lady of the Light.

Donna wrote her first book back in 1993, and I was struck dumb by just how truly magnificent her insights about the frailty and strength of women can be. So....in 1996, I tracked her down and built my first fan site, The Light Bearer! I was paid in pickled garlic, too. :)

3 years ago, 13 years after writing the first book, Donna released The Lady of the Light. Again, words simply do not exist that do justice to her magic with words....I'll simply show you the next fan site I built for her and let you decide yourself.



My husband. Last but certainly not least, my husband of 16+ years has always been the rock of stability in my otherwise bizarre life. We met at AT&T and like your typical nerds, fell in love while designing software on the weekend afternoons in the computer lab.

I mean, doesn't everyone? :)

Everyone has their own little quirks in life, and here are 10 of mine!

1.) I KNOW (yes, know beyond a shadow of a doubt) that the universe owes its existence to coffee. What else could power the Big Bang?

2.) I'm one belt away from earning a black belt in Goju-Ryu karate.

3.) I was a professional dog trainer at the age of 14, and gave comedy dog shows entitled, Barbara and her Magnificent Mutt Buddy, The Amazing Performing Wonder Dog of the 80s.

4.) I broke the Google code in 2004 and was able to rank in the top 10 for any keyword I wanted. Ooooo those were the days....

5.) I was a Microsoft Small Business Success Story in 1999.

6.) I can arm-curl 35 pounds.

7.) I lost 52 pounds in 2 years.

8.) I am utterly hopeless in face to face selling.

9.) My husband and I can create romance at a McDonald's breakfast.

10.) I am beyond hopeless at anything girly. Luckily, my girls are tomboys, so I have yet to be placed at a disadvantage. :)