Sit on the "Throne" and Read!
Do you read in the bathroom? Don't bother denying it. At one time or another most people read while sitting on the "throne." Without something to occupy your time, time slows to a crawl. Five minutes can feel like twenty, and if you're one those people that need a little extra time ... short of hauling in a pillow and taking a nap, what else is there to do? 
Think of it as multi-tasking. Time is precious and you wouldn't want to waste it while making waste...
Ewwww! That stinks.
Years Past
We didn't have reading material in the bathroom when I was growing up. With eleven people living in a one bathroom house... Tying up the bathroom was a hanging offense. The truly desperate made a mad dash to the outhouse out back. I'm not sure which was worse; dropping my drawers in the summer and offering a succulent target for the mosquitoes, or the ring of frostbite I was bound to get in the winter. As a child, hovering never occured to me.
Bathroom Briefs
The Civil War Bathroom Reader: Historic Reading for Your Private Moments
Amazon Price: $11.53 (as of 12/31/2009) 
Briefs for the Reading Room
Amazon Price: $11.03 (as of 12/31/2009)
Poop Tales: The Perfect Reading Material for Any Bathroom A Compilation of Hilarious Stories
Amazon Price: $15.95 (as of 12/31/2009)
I Didn't Know That - Why We Say The Things We Say: From All Gussied Up to Under The Weather
Amazon Price: $7.99 (as of 12/31/2009)
The Bathroom Trivia Almanac: A Daily Roll Call of Fascinating Facts (The Bathroom Library)
Amazon Price: (as of 12/31/2009)
What's Appropriate for the Bathroom...
There are some things that I'm willing to read in the bathroom that wouldn't be proper elsewhere. Purple jokes and smart-ass remarks are not as offensive when read with the door locked and the fan on. Even trumpeting is acceptable. The only nose you're insulting is your own.
Just remember, if you pick up a novel en route to the toilettes you might want to pick up a can of air freshener as well. You'll be sitting there for a while.
Enjoy a little comic relief with your...relief...
Uncle John's Great Big Bathroom Reader
Amazon Price: $11.53 (as of 12/31/2009)
Uncle John's Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader (Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Series)
Amazon Price: $12.89 (as of 12/31/2009)
Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Plunges into National Parks
Amazon Price: $12.21 (as of 12/31/2009)
Uncle John's All-Purpose Extra-Strength Bathroom Reader (Uncle John's Bathroom Reader #13)
Amazon Price: $12.21 (as of 12/31/2009)
Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Golden Plunger Awards
Amazon Price: $11.53 (as of 12/31/2009)
Trivia is not Trivial
The Big Book of American Trivia
Amazon Price: $9.35 (as of 12/31/2009)
Ken Jennings's Trivia Almanac: 8,888 Questions in 365 Days
Amazon Price: $13.60 (as of 12/31/2009)
5087 Trivia Questions & Answers
Amazon Price: $13.45 (as of 12/31/2009)
The Book of Harry Potter Trifles, Trivias, and Particularities
Amazon Price: $10.17 (as of 12/31/2009)
Trivia Lovers' Lists of Nearly Everything in the Universe: 50,000+ Big & Little Things Organized by Type and Kind
Amazon Price: $18.21 (as of 12/31/2009)
Toilet Paper Origami
There are a lot of people in this world that don't like to read, even in the bathroom. You could use the time to make tissue paper posies...
Toilet Paper Origami: Delight your Guests with Fancy Folds & Simple Surface Embellishments or Easy Origami for Hotels, Bed & Breakfasts, Cruise Ships & Creative Housekeepers (Crafts/Towel Folding)
Useless and Not so Useless Facts
The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Not So Useless Facts
Amazon Price: $12.78 (as of 12/31/2009)
Useless Fact-o-pedia
Amazon Price: (as of 12/31/2009)
The Emperor Who Ate the Bible: And More Strange Facts and Useless Information
Amazon Price: $15.00 (as of 12/31/2009)
Facts: Uncommon, Unusual & Useless
Amazon Price: (as of 12/31/2009)
Mr. Hartston's Most Excellent Encyclopedia of Useless Information: The Supreme Miscellany of Fantastic Facts
Amazon Price: $17.95 (as of 12/31/2009)
Favorite Bathroom Reading Material
A Man's Home is his Castle, and his Throne is HIS Throne
The Sports Junkies' Book of Trivia, Terms, and Lingo: What They Are, Where They Came From,and How They're Used
Amazon Price: $11.53 (as of 12/31/2009)
The Sarcastic Sports Trivia Book, Vol. 1: 300 Funny and Challenging Questions from the Dark Side of Sports
Amazon Price: $11.65 (as of 12/31/2009)
The Sarcastic Sports Trivia Book, Vol. 2: 300 Funny and Challenging Questions from the Dark Side of Sports
Amazon Price: $10.75 (as of 12/31/2009)
Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Sports Spectacular
Amazon Price: $12.89 (as of 12/31/2009)
The Bathroom Sports Quiz Book
Amazon Price: (as of 12/31/2009)
Reading for Pleasure
The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll GO. ...Dr Seuss
Are you a bathroom reader?
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Reply
- AndyPo AndyPo Oct 30, 2009 @ 5:55 am
- Very funny
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Reply
- OhMe OhMe Oct 23, 2009 @ 9:25 pm
- So Funny! Welcome to the SC Group
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Reply
- lakern26 lakern26 Oct 22, 2009 @ 9:35 am
- Very funny stuff! So true! When my son disappears into the bathroom with a book, we don't expect to see him again for another 20 min or so ... and he's only eight! Great lens!
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Reply
- aj2008 aj2008 Oct 21, 2009 @ 10:20 am
- Chuckle - my first husband thought multi-tasking was sitting on the loo doing a crossword!
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Reply
- _Joan_ _Joan_ Oct 20, 2009 @ 9:44 pm
- Excellent and important topic! 5*
- Load More
About the Author
Lensmaster ElizabethJeanAllen has been a member since March 16 2008, has rated 4,035 lenses, favorited 445, and has created 204 lenses from scratch. Lizzy Jean donates their royalties to Squidoo Charity Fund. This member's top-ranked page is "2009 Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments". See all my lenses
Bathroom Jokes and Trivia
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by ElizabethJeanAllen
I tell my students to Learn from the Past, Live in the Present, and Plan for the Future. With Squidoo I can do all three.
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