Be Positive: Like Joan Adams

Everybody has a story.


You have to make your own sunshine.


Friends are an important part of our lives — no matter where we go, but especially on-line when we are writing, allowing others to see a glimpse of our souls.


Good enough is often quite enough in life. We do not need to be perfect parents, perfect employees or perfect spouses. We only need to be good enough and work to improve.


Semi-retired grandma and proud of it! I was born to be a grandma and love this stage of my life — maybe more than all the others combined.


Something wonderful happens to you every single day — without fail!!! You just have to be aware of it!


Live passionately, love unconditionally, and laugh every day!


Laugh a little and sing a lot! Sing as if nobody's listening! Sing for the pure joy of singing! Have fun!


We are never too old to learn. Remain open to progress and new ideas!


Life is an adventure.

As long as you live, keep learning how to live. —Seneca


Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life. —Immanuel Kant


People are as happy as they make their minds up to be. —Abraham Lincoln


Everything in the universe is a pitcher brimming with wisdom and beauty. —Mevlana Rumi


What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others. —Pericles

Nancy

What was Joan like as a little girl? Joan was the middle girl and we always tease her about being the Rebellious one. She always had a mind of her own and doesn't appreciate anyone telling her what to do. Of course, I must say that we are all like that to some degree so it must be hereditary.


What did she love to do as a child? As a young girl, she and her friend played dolls a lot in the vacant lot between the two houses. I remember that well since I was 4 years younger and my dolly and I weren't always welcomed. She had a Tiny Tears Doll. In her teenage years, she loved to dance especially shag and has always loved all kinds of music and of course, the boys. She was a majorette and I was so proud to watch her march with the band.


What makes you proud that she's your sister? Being the youngest of three girls, I have always admired my two older sisters. I was always proud of them and thought that both of them were perfect. I am so proud of what Joan has done with Squidoo. She has always had a talent for writing and it sure shows with her lenses.


What is the main lesson you've learned from Joan about life? I have learned a lot about life from my sister, Joan. It is hard to narrow it down to one specific lesson. I guess overall the main lesson would be to try to "make a difference" with my life. Joan has overcome obstacles and her life "ain't been no crystal stair" but she keeps on keeping on like the Little Train That Could as she says "I think I can, I think I can". She is very intelligent and keeps learning and growing everyday and she definitely "makes a difference". She used to tell us that she wanted these words on her tombstone: "Here lies Joan. She tried!"

Betty

What was Joan like as a little girl? Joan was "spunky!" And still is! She was probably the most daring of the three of the sisters...


What did she love to do as a child? Oh, we played paperdolls, games, school, dolls, colored, read, and in the summers, ran barefoot and enjoyed the cool water from the hose sprinkler! In early years, we lived in a small town with many relatives nearby, and they were in and out, constantly paying attention to the children.


What makes you proud that she's your sister? Joan is a SURVIVOR! She, and we as a family, had "bumps in the road." Despite it all, she "keeps on keeping on!" Joan has maintained a beautiful marriage and they raised two wonderful children. Now, she thoroughly enjoys the grandmother role in addition to writing - especially Squidoo!


What is the main lesson you've learned from Joan about life? Joan is an inspiration to me! We are truly "as different as night and day" but she daily influences my life. She works on positives, on growing and reading and learning and stretching and doing...and has taken me along for the ride! We don't always agree, and that is okay. She has truly broadened my horizons!

Nancy can be found at her blog, Oh Me, Oh My!, here at Squidoo, and as well as on Twitter. Betty is at her blog, Pinwheels, the Squidoo lens she wrote with Joan: Kids With Special Needs, and of course, Banish The Blahs.

She has over 100 spectacular lenses on various topics. Start with her One Hundredth lens — where she celebrates a lifetime of music and family. (This is also the lens where you'll find the poem, Mother to Son.)

You have expressed many times how much you love this lens. Please tell us what value you see in it for your descendants?

I hope that my descendants will get a little glimpse of our lives, of who we were as a family. I honestly think my vision is closer than that — I see my grandchildren as adults reading to their children about their great-grandma and her family. Our stories are so important; they give future generations a sense of family, of belonging, of heritage.

Who, in your life, has inspired you the most, and how or why?

Oh there are so many, Mimi. Probably hundreds of people and books that have influenced my life. Of course, my husband, Whitey, is a constant inspiration. If I had to name two, they would be both counselors, psychotherapists, who brought me through a deep, dark depression in my young adult years. Dr. Peggie Shealy was my therapist for many years, and then, after she retired, we worked together on her book, Feeling Safe. I typed and edited as she wrote. She was filled with great wisdom and I am so happy that we had that time together to focus on her life. We spent hours on the telephone working on the book, chatting about life lessons. Dr. David Riddle is my dear friend. In fact, he was the minister for both our children's weddings. He even played the piano for Randy's wedding. An accomplished musician, a devoted pastor and a very intuitive psychotherapist, David inspired me to live my life fully — and to ask questions! He and Peggie Shealy were instrumental in saving my life. That's the bottom line. They inspired me to keep breathing and keep living until I could break out of the darkness. I will forever be thankful to them both.

Can people really just choose to be happy?

Most of the time we do have a choice. Some of us struggle with situational issues and some of us struggle with serious medical depression. But we do have control of our thoughts, and we can change them. I appreciate so much the fact that you see me as positive. And I do try to be. But I must be honest and say that being positive is a job I work on all the time. It takes effort. I choose to be positive. I choose to be happy. I choose to enjoy my life, to laugh whenever I get a chance, and to enjoy the moments every single day.

Is there ever any good reason for being unkind?

Sure! I believe there is justified anger — and that there are bad people in this world. I would most definitely be unkind if someone was mean to my children or my grands! Sometimes we have to work on forgiveness later. I am most definitely not a Pollyanna. I love your quote about this best. "I judge no one; however, I choose to disassociate myself from those who create disharmony in my life." I try to stay away from people who make me angry — or provide an opportunity for me to be unkind!

How important is it to "look within"?

Vital! Socrates said, "An unexamined life is not worth living." I totally agree. I work constantly to be honest with myself and others and to live an authentic life. I do try not to spend too much time on self-examination because I believe that can be dangerous, too. But I do think we must know ourselves and act from the place within us that is the most valid, the most real.

If a troubled, misguided teenager were put into your care for just three minutes, how would you spend that time? What would you say?

This is the question that has caused so much discussion among my friends. Most of them say I would tell the teen to make a list of the pros and cons or make a list of positive things. And that's because I so believe in list-making. I hope I would say something like, "Look. Life is tough. And right now you are miserable. And I understand that. And in your situation, I would be miserable too. The good part is that this is temporary. Life will change. I can guarantee you that life will change. Life is change. Ten years from now, you will look back on this day, and remember how hopeless and lost you felt. I want you to change your life — become the person you want to be deep inside. Live your life. Enjoy. Become the best you can be. "Three minutes"????? Yikes! Try to instill the fact that somebody cares. Hug.

People beat themselves up after "losing control" and saying or doing something they wouldn't normally do. What should people do instead of beating up on themselves?

We have to love ourselves first. And that is the toughest job of all. We expect perfection from ourselves more than we do others, I think. We need to learn to forgive ourselves, again and again and again.

And last question, Miss Joan. Please tell us: What is your absolute favorite be-positive quotation in all the world?

King James Bible — Phillippians 4:8 — Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things.

Thank you, Mimi! What an experience! (You are welcome. Thank you, Joan!)

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