Bee beard!

The spectacle of the bee beard dates back to the 1700s when an English beekeeper discovered he could keep create a beard of bees by tying the queen to a thread around his neck. He'd parade through the streets, causing quite a stir in an era without the glut of entertainment we have now!

Well, it was one of those things that I always wanted to do. So when the opportunity came up, I was first in line.

The Western Apicultural Society held its annual conference in Victoria this summer (2008). As part of the conference, John Gibeau of the Honeybee Centre in Vancouver offered to do a bee beard demonstration. We were a little worried we wouldn't have any volunteers so I said I'd do it. Of course, once the adrenaline gets going we ended up with a bunch of people giving it a try. Our volunteers ranged from 11 to 60+ and included veteran beekeepers and people who had never been near bees before.

BUT we had an expert running the event! John has wrangled bees on dozens of movie sets, as well as being a highly experienced beekeeper. This is not something to do without an expert around.

Preparation included me shaving my real beard off -- the bees would get tangled in it and I'd probably get stung. John also gave us a really fascinating presentation on how it is done and how to avoid stings.

I was pretty calm about the whole thing, until that presentation! Then I got more and more nervous!

I was trying to smile, but I was kinda nervous.

And bees kept heading toward my mouth, so I was keeping it tightly shut!

I was warned that at first it would tickle, then it would feel prickly, and then it would get warm. It was like having an itchy wool scarf slowly moving up my neck under its own volition.

"Creepy" is one way of putting it!

The worst was the bees that you see in the video, heading towards my eyes, ears, mouth or nose. The swarm itself didn't feel real, but those individuals! Oh the urge to swat them!

(And swatting them would have been a really bad idea.)

No, not a one. None were swatted, squashed or otherwise harmed in the production of my bee beard.

Some may have recurring nightmares, of course. "Ew, it was all warm and soft and wasn't scratchy. It's like it didn't even have an exoskeleton. I tell you, those humans are really gross! I'm never going to be able to sleep again!"

Oh, the indignity!