Behavior Defiant Children and Teens - Help for Parents

Everyone wants home life to be fun, peaceful and full of good memories. However, when there is constant tension from defiant behavior, and out-of-control kids, this rarely happens. Parents then feel frustrated, lose their patience and find themselves in a vicious circle of defiance, attempted reprimands, frustrated outcomes, and an unhappy, unpleasant, tension filled home life.

Does your child or teenager often:
Lose their temper or have angry outbursts
Use insults and/or name calling
Argue with adults
Refuse to comply with rules and requests
Won't take NO for an answer
Refuse to do chores or anything else you ask
Leave the house without permission
Get bad conduct reports from teachers
Apply Guilt Trips
Deliberately annoy people
Blame others for their mistakes and misbehavior

Is your child often:
Manipulative and deceitful
Touchy and easily annoyed by others
Angry and resentful
Spiteful and vindictive
A Bully at school
Physically Aggressive

Can you relate to this list? Would you like help to change some of these attitudes and Behavior Defiant ways? If so, then all you need to do is learn some new techniques and approaches for reaching your kids where they are. You can restore peace and harmony to your relationship with your child and your family as a whole. The Total Transformation Program will give you those new skills. It's guaranteed to make a difference.

Let me start by sharing with you 6 tips you can try today. These are basic ideas that might be something new, but if you have already tried all of these techniques, its time you get some more in depth help from a trained expert in dealing with difficult kids of all ages.

Tip #1- Don't use punishment or rewards to try and change your childs behavior.
Both punishment and rewards cause your child to feel fear. Studies have shown that fear causes the release of a flood of hormones into the brain. One of those chemicals is Cortisol. Scientists have found that high levels of cortisol can lead to aggressive behavior.

Tip #2- Seek out help.
The first step here may be in educating yourself. If what you are currently doing is not working, then you need to actively seek out new methods for dealing with your child. Parenting is a course in continuing education....the learning and growing never stops. Another benefit of Mark Hutten's program is that he has an Online Parent Support Group and you can email him directly and work with him one on one, from the comfort of your own home, and get specific answers for the problems you are dealing with.

Tip #3- Be Consistent in your approach with your child
Let your NO be NO 100% of the time. They will naturally challenge you to see if you really will do what you said you would do. This is hard to do, I know. However, the payoff is worth it. If children learn that they can get what they want by pushing you, they will. However, if they learn that you mean what you say, they will eventually stop trying. They become programed to your behavior.

Tip #4- Don't Yell.
Yelling doesn't help. Rather, it helps to bring about that fight or flight reaction, which in turn causes a flood of chemicals to be released, including cortisol. The result, will be a bunch of negative behavior from your child, that may also include yelling as well. You can have a stern voice that alerts them that there is a problem, but it does not require yelling. If you yell, you are simply teaching them that it is okay to yell when they want to express their emotions. Again, children live what they learn.

Tip #5- Try to identify the cause of the outbursts or tantrums if possible.
If you have a child who throws tantrums, I suggest putting them in a safe, yet isolated place (like their room) and walk away. Ignore the behavior, while not allowing it to ruin whatever is going on with the rest of the family. Remember, negative attention is still attention.
If you have a teenager who does this, I would listen to them completely, showing no emotional response AT ALL. Then, when they are finished, simply sum up what they said, insert the word "And", restate your answer that caused the outburst, then excuse yourself from the conversation.

It is then worth your time to try and identify what it was that caused the negative behavior. Despite what you might think, children don't just act out to annoy us; many times there is an underlying problem and if we can get to the root of it, we can change the fruit of our child's behavior.

The result: you listened, you restated what they said so they knew you heard them, you stuck with your answer, and then left the situation so as not to enter into an argument or yelling match.

Tip #6- Make sure your child knows the rules and the consequences.
Repeating your expectations and then having them repeat them, back to you in their own words is a great way to do this. It also solves the problem of them using the excuse of "I didn't know!"

In conclusion, parenting a strong-willed, difficult or Behavior Defiant child or teenager is hard. There are always new things you can learn and implement to help get things back under control in your family. You simply have to be willing to take that step and invest in your child and their future.

Believe it or not, your child doesn't need counseling. You don't need parenting classes. You don't need -- nor would you want -- a 250-page manual on how to be a better parent. Who has time for that? And you don't need to go through another year of pain and misery with rebellious, defiant, out of control kids with an "attitude."

However, what you may need is someone who has worked with behavior defiant children and frustrated parents and knows what they are talking about -- to show you a set of very effective parenting techniques that you can start implementing immediately.

Also, not only does James Lehman have over 30 years of proven methods and great techniques to teach you how to parent a Behavior Defiant child, but it also includes access to a parent support line where you can reach specialists trained by James Lehman himself, who can help you through the situation you are directly in. The Total Transformation Program is designed to be used from home, to fit into your schedule and busy life. This program involves books, online seminars, videos AND the ability to contact the developers of the program directly with questions about your specific situation. This program will give you the support you need while going through this process. James Lehman knows his stuff and he can help you and turn things around in your family.

Here are just a few comments from other parents who used this program to deal with a Behavior Defiant teen to change their child's defiant behavior.

"My grandson is 15 years old. He is extremely argumentative. He just won't stop arguing. He's obsessive about it. We've learned verbiage from The Total Transformation® Program that you can say and it's almost like magic. If you say those words, they stop arguing! Thanks so much to all of you and especially to James Lehman. I hope this program brings success to millions of families." - Pat H. Marietta, GA

"My 8-year-old son was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD. He was stealing, lying and had temper tantrums when he didn't get his own way. You have really turned my kid around. Within the first month we noticed a major change.* All of a sudden, there was this total transformation. He realized this behavior wasn't worth it anymore. Now he pretty much has a good day every day. He does his work. He gets full privileges at home. I encourage other parents to try it because it really does work." - Shawna P. Calgary, Alberta Canada
*Individual results will vary.

"Our son always had a hard time with authority, especially our authority. The results from using the Total Transformation® Program are the arguments have almost ceased. They are down 90%. It's made a happier home. For the first time we have control. Now we know how to end those arguments. We get to them before they even start." - Dede M. Missouri City, TX

"What we were experiencing was defiance, obnoxious and disrespectful behavior in dealing with parents. Extreme fighting between the two kids. To the point where it was physical. Really severe threats, beating each other up, hurting each other. We've only had The Total Transformation® for about three weeks but already we feel more relaxed because we feel like we've got something that's working. And the kids are starting to respond. I'm feeling better, my husband's feeling better and I think my kids are starting to feel that we're turning around in our house." - Debra K. Glen Burnie, MD