ADHD, CAPD, Sensory Integration Deficiency - OH MY!
This lens is going to be focussing on the trials and tribulations of my personal relationship I have with a sweetheart who happens to have behavioural issues. He is in grade 1 this year, and Squidoo is a great place to share my experiences.
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This is pretty much where we were with our son a year ago...
At the 'last resort' feeling. Seen many doctors, tried many changes. I was dead set against medication, and the reputation that goes along with it, but talking to a specialist, knowing that the meds he suggested are out of his system at the end of each day (not Ridalin), and that our son was 1 day away from being expelled, there was little choice left.
Sometimes diet is not enough. Although avoiding sugar and other trouble foods certianly help, at this time, the behaviour problems were too severe and the school had enough.
Still reluctant to medicate him, despite the research and talks with the Doc, I tried the meds myself to see what they did and how they made me feel, to get a better feel on what they would do for him. Then I started giving them to him the following weekend to watch him on a day when I had him for all of it... and continued in school and to this day. He did have scheduled visits back with the Doc to keep an eye on him and his weight.
It was very hard to see the pain my son was going through. The moments after he did something very wrong, and knew he did it, but did not know why he did it really frustrated him to tears on a nearly daily basis. He would punish himself for "being stupid" even though he had no control over the things he was doing. He had no confidence, and it was just snow balling to endless trouble at school.
The meds, although not an over night success, let him focus on the things in front of him, and the things he was about to do. It allowed for room to work on all his bad behavioured habits and 'retrain' him to be at school with teachers and other kids without people worried about what he will do next.
Before Meds, he was aggressive. Biting, kicking spitting.. all at his teachers, or hugging little girls and not letting them go no matter how much they cried and yelled. He struggled at pretty much everything.
The meds, along with a personal 'helper' to get him back on track by teaching him to better fit in and reversing his bad habits turned his little life around. The confidence he has gained has been amazing. Although he still continues to grow and learn and work on his social abilities, he is so happy and full with life again and not scared about what he is going to do wrong next by 'losing control'.
Medication works if you find the right meds for the right situation. It should not be a 'blanket solution' for everyone, but like everything else, its worth a try, especially if you use meds that have no long term effects ;)
The paramount, golden nugget of wisdom I want to offer you is this:
Open your mind & ears to EVERYTHING. Be grateful that people are there to help you. Just because you LISTEN to people, NEVER means you need to FOLLOW that exact advice. But it can often lead to better, modifiable solutions down the road.
This is a chapter in my life in which I have resolved to NEVER shut a door of opportunity - even if it's not one I intend to use.
I was so veheminently against medication, I thought it was more likely to see me in a straight jacket with my son taken from me.
I take the same pills my little guy does now. Daily.
Go Figure.
But we did our homework. We did our attempts at EVERYTHING.
We had some nasty eyes look our way many a time. Even had Family Services come to see me in my home because of comments my son was making at school about death and injury, and well...darkness that a 5 or 6 year old just shouldn't know about.
Sadly, there are some DARK, bottomless days for a parent who's child is in this little world.
The doctor we went to is in Vancouver - Dr. Alan Furlong.
I would also like to suggest you contact C.A.R.T. Children & Adolescent Response Team. Also in Vancouver. E. 12th & 33rd??? They were VERY supportive. I admit, they specialize in ADHD/ADD and such, so I felt as though they "pushed" that diagnosis. But I still believe that my son does not have ADHD just black & white.
There's more to it.
I doubt everyone who reads this lives in Vancouver areas...so just look for a similar support base in your location.
We were also given the idea that he may have Aspberger's (which if he does, there is ALOT of support financially via the government & schools, etc..)
I took a little questionaire, but I don't feel he's even really close to 98% of the questions.
either way, I took the questionaire willingly and eagerly.
I think it's critical to keep the faith that you WILL find the best methods for your son. And It's not going to be the same as anyone else - but it might be similar.
Also, keep the faith socially. This is a cosmetic purpose, but you'll understand why. When Family Services came to my house, I was utterly broken emotionally that I was going through this violation...Don't they know what I do for my son?? Don't they understand how FRUSTRATED this sometimes makes me - yet I have NEVER hurt my boy. Don't they know he's my world and I would literally die for him???
The answer is NO.
They don't know, until they meet me, and see my devotion to him. They did, and have never had any concern since.
My point is that much of the time people only see the crust of your guy's world. Sometimes due to your child's taxing actions, you will get crusty! Crustier and snappier than normal. if that's all people ever see, judgment can be unfair, cruel & blindly biased. Just be wary of people's ignorance; because they typically aren't.
Transition is probably the most difficult struggle for my son. One of my sayings is "I try to make as few ripples in my son's pond as possible."
make it as easy for him to succeed as you can.
The meds he has is Dexadrine. (Dextroamphetamine) notice the amphetamine part. It's essentially the opposite of Rydallin. One's like a pill to speed you up, one slows you to a near stop.
It really depends on what the person needs.He was sleeping in class for up to three hours a day (at a time) about 2 - 4 times a week. In kindergarten, with little kids jumping & screaming all around him.
Now he's focussed, alert, driven, positive, eager to learn. And suceeds at almost everything he tries. If he fails, he is implementing our 're-training' techniques for coping. "Better luck next time" he says.
So you're both in for some hefty life-style changes. Best of luck to you all.
We can chat more if you like...I have loads of ideas, experiences to share, resources, etc...should you care for any of it.
At the 'last resort' feeling. Seen many doctors, tried many changes. I was dead set against medication, and the reputation that goes along with it, but talking to a specialist, knowing that the meds he suggested are out of his system at the end of each day (not Ridalin), and that our son was 1 day away from being expelled, there was little choice left.
Sometimes diet is not enough. Although avoiding sugar and other trouble foods certianly help, at this time, the behaviour problems were too severe and the school had enough.
Still reluctant to medicate him, despite the research and talks with the Doc, I tried the meds myself to see what they did and how they made me feel, to get a better feel on what they would do for him. Then I started giving them to him the following weekend to watch him on a day when I had him for all of it... and continued in school and to this day. He did have scheduled visits back with the Doc to keep an eye on him and his weight.
It was very hard to see the pain my son was going through. The moments after he did something very wrong, and knew he did it, but did not know why he did it really frustrated him to tears on a nearly daily basis. He would punish himself for "being stupid" even though he had no control over the things he was doing. He had no confidence, and it was just snow balling to endless trouble at school.
The meds, although not an over night success, let him focus on the things in front of him, and the things he was about to do. It allowed for room to work on all his bad behavioured habits and 'retrain' him to be at school with teachers and other kids without people worried about what he will do next.
Before Meds, he was aggressive. Biting, kicking spitting.. all at his teachers, or hugging little girls and not letting them go no matter how much they cried and yelled. He struggled at pretty much everything.
The meds, along with a personal 'helper' to get him back on track by teaching him to better fit in and reversing his bad habits turned his little life around. The confidence he has gained has been amazing. Although he still continues to grow and learn and work on his social abilities, he is so happy and full with life again and not scared about what he is going to do wrong next by 'losing control'.
Medication works if you find the right meds for the right situation. It should not be a 'blanket solution' for everyone, but like everything else, its worth a try, especially if you use meds that have no long term effects ;)
The paramount, golden nugget of wisdom I want to offer you is this:
Open your mind & ears to EVERYTHING. Be grateful that people are there to help you. Just because you LISTEN to people, NEVER means you need to FOLLOW that exact advice. But it can often lead to better, modifiable solutions down the road.
This is a chapter in my life in which I have resolved to NEVER shut a door of opportunity - even if it's not one I intend to use.
I was so veheminently against medication, I thought it was more likely to see me in a straight jacket with my son taken from me.
I take the same pills my little guy does now. Daily.
Go Figure.
But we did our homework. We did our attempts at EVERYTHING.
We had some nasty eyes look our way many a time. Even had Family Services come to see me in my home because of comments my son was making at school about death and injury, and well...darkness that a 5 or 6 year old just shouldn't know about.
Sadly, there are some DARK, bottomless days for a parent who's child is in this little world.
The doctor we went to is in Vancouver - Dr. Alan Furlong.
I would also like to suggest you contact C.A.R.T. Children & Adolescent Response Team. Also in Vancouver. E. 12th & 33rd??? They were VERY supportive. I admit, they specialize in ADHD/ADD and such, so I felt as though they "pushed" that diagnosis. But I still believe that my son does not have ADHD just black & white.
There's more to it.
I doubt everyone who reads this lives in Vancouver areas...so just look for a similar support base in your location.
We were also given the idea that he may have Aspberger's (which if he does, there is ALOT of support financially via the government & schools, etc..)
I took a little questionaire, but I don't feel he's even really close to 98% of the questions.
either way, I took the questionaire willingly and eagerly.
I think it's critical to keep the faith that you WILL find the best methods for your son. And It's not going to be the same as anyone else - but it might be similar.
Also, keep the faith socially. This is a cosmetic purpose, but you'll understand why. When Family Services came to my house, I was utterly broken emotionally that I was going through this violation...Don't they know what I do for my son?? Don't they understand how FRUSTRATED this sometimes makes me - yet I have NEVER hurt my boy. Don't they know he's my world and I would literally die for him???
The answer is NO.
They don't know, until they meet me, and see my devotion to him. They did, and have never had any concern since.
My point is that much of the time people only see the crust of your guy's world. Sometimes due to your child's taxing actions, you will get crusty! Crustier and snappier than normal. if that's all people ever see, judgment can be unfair, cruel & blindly biased. Just be wary of people's ignorance; because they typically aren't.
Transition is probably the most difficult struggle for my son. One of my sayings is "I try to make as few ripples in my son's pond as possible."
make it as easy for him to succeed as you can.
The meds he has is Dexadrine. (Dextroamphetamine) notice the amphetamine part. It's essentially the opposite of Rydallin. One's like a pill to speed you up, one slows you to a near stop.
It really depends on what the person needs.He was sleeping in class for up to three hours a day (at a time) about 2 - 4 times a week. In kindergarten, with little kids jumping & screaming all around him.
Now he's focussed, alert, driven, positive, eager to learn. And suceeds at almost everything he tries. If he fails, he is implementing our 're-training' techniques for coping. "Better luck next time" he says.
So you're both in for some hefty life-style changes. Best of luck to you all.
We can chat more if you like...I have loads of ideas, experiences to share, resources, etc...should you care for any of it.
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Canadians - Check this out
I haven't done extensive research, so I don't know about other provinces or countries, but in B.C., Canada, there is such a thing called "PLAN G". It is for lower income families (not necessarily just welfare - anyone who struggles)
I applied as a single mom who works full-time, not broke. I would just have a very difficult time paying for the costs of the medications on my own.
This plan is designed to cover the costs of MEDICATIONS WHICH ARE REQUIRED TO CARRY ON A REGULAR DAY. Look it up.
Who loves ya, baby.
Did You Know?
Did You Know:
Ridalyn & meds in that family "slow things down" to allow focus & positive change.
Dexedrine & meds in that family "speed things up" to get similar results.
Different people require a different path to achieve the same desired result.
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The Most Important Thing
Be patient and persevere.
Be loving & ultimately understanding.
When you're upset and frustrated at some goofy things they do - Remember that it's not done to spite you.
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE - grow with them, and be the support they need.
by andy156
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