The Power of Kindness
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Surely There is Great Strength in Kindness
"Be kind to everyone you meet. They all carry a heavy load." -- Elton Graham, my grandfather.
I learned a lot about kindness from my grandparents. Grandpa Graham was the sweetest man. Chickadees would land on his arms and shoulders while he was outside in his gardens. Here is a lens about kindness, in honor of my grandfather.
I learned a lot about kindness from my grandparents. Grandpa Graham was the sweetest man. Chickadees would land on his arms and shoulders while he was outside in his gardens. Here is a lens about kindness, in honor of my grandfather.
A Good Lesson
I have had my grandfather's advice to me validated many times, but here is one example.I was having lunch with a friend in a small diner when she told me she was thinking about not leaving a tip because the waitress was not being very friendly. I then told her what I happened to know about the waitress. I knew her story because she had been befriended by my father and a group of his friends who would come in for morning coffee every weekday. Her husband had just died of a sudden heart attack and, if that wasn't enough, she was taking care of his mother who was very sick and dying of cancer. And, here she was still working every day. My friend was shocked to hear this and we left a good tip. You see, you just never know.
Betty White's Secret
Kindness and Appreciation
"Kindness and appreciation for somebody else besides yourself----that's what keep you young."
~~Betty White to Katy Couric on the May 8th, 2001 broadcast of CBS Sunday Morning~~
drawing: Nancy Jo Graham
Insightful Quotes on Kindness & Compassion
There are many good quotes on kindness and compassion. I think these, in particular, are insightful.
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1"The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. The trite subjects of human efforts, possessions, outward success, luxury have always seemed to me contemptible."
Albert Einstein -
2"Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever."
Margaret Cho -
3"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."
The Dalai Lama -
4"Compassion is the keen awareness of the interdependence of all things."
Thomas Merton -
5"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
Philo of Alexandria
(I guess my grandfather had read about Philo!)
Kindness and Generousity From Our Friends at Flickr
Here is a selection of photos labeled "kindness" or "generosity" from our friends at Flickr.
automatically generated by Flickr
Tips for Being of Help
It's good to know when and how to be of greatest help to others. Here are some sites that can help you with this.
- Charity Focus
- "CharityFocus is an experiment in the joy of giving. Our services enable inspired people to contribute in meaningful ways to the world around them. Together, we hope to 'be the change we wish to see in the world'."
- Mental Health America
- Here is some information, presented clearly and simply, on how helping others is good for us, including ideas for specific things we can all do to help other people. Also offered are suggestions for those who may want to consider volunteering on a regular basis.
You Never Know What Someone Else's Story Might Be
So, be kind. And, yes, this really happened to me.
While I was in Home Goods shopping one evening several years ago a few weeks before Christmas, a cute little girl walked past me (maybe 6 years old). She had long, light red hair and was wearing a pale green coat and a bright red and white stripped hat. She was by herself looking at the children's toys and from the first moment that I saw her I was drawn to her, feeling that there was something special about her.I asked her where her mother was, but she was very shy and turned away. Not long after, her mother appeared and she was in trouble for wandering off. I approached them and asked the mother if she wanted me to reinforce the importance of staying safe and she happily said "yes". I told the girl that when I saw her by herself I had been worried about her and that I was glad that she was with her mother now. Her mom and I chatted a bit and then they went on their way to wander the store together.
This mother and her little girl were in the store for a long time looking at all kinds of things and ooohing and aaahing. I could tell that mom really had to edit herself as far as what she could buy. She, also, kept loudly threatening her daughter with calling her father if she didn't continue to stay close. Mom seemed unsettled about something and her daughter was quiet and patient. Despite the mother's worry, they were obviously having fun together.
I knew that I wanted to do something for them, but I didn't know why or what. I thought about candy for the kids (she said she had 4 more at home) or some kind of Christmas treats and I hung around looking at things, hoping something would strike me or that I would see her pick something up and have to put it back down. I just couldn't come up with what felt right and I ended up in line behind her as we both waited to check out.
It turned out that she had been hoping to pay for her purchases with her new Home Goods card, but she hadn't received it in the mail yet. However, they couldn't let her use it and she was upset and uncertain about what to do. I caught the clerk's attention and mouthed to her that I would pay for it, slipping her my credit card so that "Mom" wouldn't see me. I was trying to keep it a secret. The clerk told her that someone else was paying for her. At first she was confused then she started to cry. When she saw me sign the credit slip, she thanked me over and over and asked my name.
Through her tears, the little girl's mother told me her name was Eileen and that she had 5 children. "Four boys at home.", she said, then, "But, this isn't my only daughter. (she paused) My oldest daughter, who was 17, died earlier this year. She was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder and she committed suicide." It was then that I knew why she was so unsettled and why I felt the unexplained desire to help.
One of the things they had purchased was a little wooden duck that quacks as you pull it behind you on a string. Her daughter smiled and thanked me for it as she walked out of the store behind her mother, the duck trailing after her. I still have that lovely image embedded in my memory.
The clerks at the store were amazed that I had paid for the purchases and were shocked that I had done so. I wondered, why it should be such a big deal. It's so EASY to just DO it.
At one point while I was wandering the store and thinking about it, I did feel a little embarrassed and thought that if I did do something for this little girl and her mother, I might be intruding on a stranger's life. And, I hesitated. In the end, I was glad that I trusted my intuition and followed through. For the rest of the day, I felt overwhelmed with love and with thankfulness that I was given the opportunity to help and to participate in their lives.
Can Kindness Change the World?
How much kindness would it take to change the world? How many of us does it take to tip the scale, to make a difference on a global level? Here are some interesting sites to visit. In one way or another, they all talk about the impact of kindness and compassion.
- The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation
- This is an awesome site with many features. You can sign up for a monthly newsletter on kindness, get material for the classroom, create you own kindness website for free using a special template, send an e-card with an inspiring quote and much more. This site is run by a non-profit, non-denominational organization and in their words: "The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation inspires people to practice kindness and to pass it on to others."
- Kindness to Ourselves & Others
- A wonderful teaching on the Buddhists' view of suffering, compassion and kindness.
- Visionaries
- Visionaries makes documentary films about individuals and groups around the world who are helping others. Their byline is "Changing the World One Story at a Time".
Teach By Example
In Everything You Say or Do
Think of How it Affects Others Too
Teach by Example
More Evidence for the Importance of Kindness
What how we treat others says about us
Here is an article about the importance of being kind to everyone we encounter, focusing particularly on our interactions with waiters, waitresses and others in the service industries. Statistics and anecdotal evidence are included, giving added emphasis to the critical need for kindness in our society.
- "How We Treat Waiters and Waitresses Says a Lot about Us" by Rachel G. Baldino, MSW, LCSW
- Written by Rachel G. Baldino, MSW & LCSW, for SixWise.com. SixWise offers a weekly e-newsletter called "Be Safe, Live Long & Prosper".
"With every issue of the free SixWise.com newsletter, you'll get access to the insights, products, services, and more that can truly improve your well-being, peace of mind, and therefore your life!"
Writings on Kindness at Work
Where do we spend most of our time each day? Why not practice kindness on the job? When I am frustrated with someone, sometimes I imagine them as a child before they picked up all that baggage we all carry with us and it helps me to be more understanding. Check out this book to learn how kindness at work can be very successful.
Movies About Kindness
I know there are many more movies about the power of kindness. I just can't think of them right now. Can you?
A Supreme Kindness During WWII
- Sugihara: Conspiracy of Kindness
- This is the site for a documentary film about Chiune Sugihara, and how he saved the lives of Jewish people during World War II. A companion to the PBS documentary "Sugihara: Conspiracy of Kindness", this site has an interactive timeline examining Sugihara's travels and key historical events that influenced his life; video clips; transcripts; a lesson plan for the classroom; and more.
Just viewing the trailer for the film is inspiring. See the above Amazon link for a good deal on this film.
Writings on Kindness & Compassion
The Ultimate Quote From Anne Frank
Don't forget Anne Frank and her stunning comment in her diary while hiding during the holocaust."In spite of everything," Anne says, "I still believe that people are truly good at heart....that this cruelty too will end..."
She was only 13 years old.
Have you Read Her Diary?
From the Anne Frank Museum in Amsterdam
- Anne Frank Museum, Amsterdam - the official Anne Frank House website
- From the Anne Frank Museum in Amsterdam, here is the official site on Anne Frank, her Diary and the "Secret Annex" where she and her family hid. They have the most complete and current information with unique photos and film images.
More Inspiration for Helping Others
- For a Better life
- Here is a site which is full of inspiration. It is a sister group of The Kindness Foundation. You can read or even listen to other's stories and submit your own. They offer daily quotes and weekly and monthly newsletters which you can have delivered to your inbox.
- "Kindness" by Naomi Shihab Nye
- This link will take you to a very interesting and thought-provoking poem on the journey toward a person's understanding of kindness. Garrison Keillor chose this poem to be used in the July 23, 2007 issue of The Writer's Almanac, which he writes for National Public Radio. You can have The Writer's Almanac delivered to your inbox every day if you are interested in writng and poetry.
- Help Others.org: Acts of Kindness
- Here is a site that helps you to understand how to help others. It includes what is sort of a game of pay-it-forward where you anonymously make someone smile with an act of kindness and leave behind a card asking them to keep the ripple going.
Writings on the Kindness of Animals
Animals show the instinct to help others too. Here are some books on the kindness of animals.
Children Taking Action
What an amazing impact from the kindness and action of one young child. Check these out!
- Ryan Hrelijacs and Ryan's Well Foundation
- Visit this inspirational site to learn about the influence of one young child. When Canadian Ryan Hreljacs was 6 years old, his teacher talked of people in Africa having to walk miles for fresh water. Wanting to make a difference, Ryan proceeded to do chores to earn money to be used to build a well for an African community. His effort has grown so much that more than 210 wells have been built. This is Ryan's official website.
- Hannah Taylor and The Ladybug Foundation
- This is an amazing story. At the age of 5, Hannah Taylor was inspired to learn more about homeless people. She has now raised over one million dollars to help homeless people across Canada. Here is a quote from her "So many people have already helped me make the Ladybug Foundation. We will all need to work together forever to help our homeless people. I will keep teaching people about what the homeless need and I believe we can make a difference. We all need to care about each other and share a little of what we have."
Can you be TOO nice?
I think that there is a difference between being nice and being kind. Sometimes being nice is about wanting approval or being afraid of conflict. On the inside you may be worrying about what others think of you or you may hesitate to "hurt other's feelings". We all know that sometimes the kindest thing we can do is to speak the truth. There are fine lines here, though, aren't there?One of my bosses years ago called me into her office to berate me. "You're too nice. You're too nice and everybody likes you!" I was bewildered. I didn't know how to respond, so I said nothing, which frustrated her even further. I never was clear about her motivation. At the time I wondered if it was jealousy. I saw her a few years later, after we were no longer working together, and she haltingly apologized to me. But, perhaps her comment held a grain of truth. Sometimes being TOO nice is not helping you any and may not be helping the greater good either.
This would be a great late-night debate wouldn't it?
Sometimes..."You Gotta Be Cruel to Be Kind"
Cruel to Be Kind
Oh, I can't take another heartache,
Though you say you're my friend, I'm at my wits' end!
You say your love is bona fide,
But that don't coincide with the things that you do
And when I ask you to be nice, you say
You've gotta be
Cruel to be kind in the right measure,
Cruel to be kind it's a very good sign,
Cruel to be kind means that I love you,
Baby, you've gotta be cruel to be kind.
Well I do my best to understand dear,
But you still mystify, and I want to know why.
I pick myself up off the ground
To have you knock me back down again and again!
And when I ask you to explain, you say
You've gotta be
Cruel to be kind in the right measure,
Cruel to be kind it's a very good sign,
Cruel to be kind means that I love you,
Baby, you've gotta be cruel to be kind.
Writings About the Price of Being "Too" Nice
Workshops at Omega Institute
The motto for the Omega Institute is "awakening the best in the human spirit"
The Omega Institute, located in Rhinebeck, NY (2 hrs. from NYC), is the nation's largest holistic learning center and offers many workshops, retreats, and wellness vacations in a wonderful setting.
Check out the options for workshops at Omega by looking at the workshop section. They hold workshops there from Spring until late Fall every year and have travel options as well.
The Omega Institute, located in Rhinebeck, NY (2 hrs. from NYC), is the nation's largest holistic learning center and offers many workshops, retreats, and wellness vacations in a wonderful setting.
Check out the options for workshops at Omega by looking at the workshop section. They hold workshops there from Spring until late Fall every year and have travel options as well.
- Omega Institute Workshops
- The Omega Institute: awakening the best in the human spirit
One by One
I am pleased that many of you are interested in this topic and that it has offered inspiration. As we all age and think about what we have done with our lives, is it really what we have done for ourselves that fills us with a sense of peace? What, indeed, does that leave behind once we are gone? That which truly endures, I feel, is the influence we have had on others. Doesn't that get passed along from generation to generation? And, doesn't it affect the whole of humanity? It spreads. I am sure of it. Can we "change the world"? I think we can. One by one. What Do You Think?
Thank you for rating this lens by clicking on the stars at the top of the page. And...let me, and everyone who reads this, know what you think about the issue of kindness by posting your comments in the next section.
- "I truly enjoy your Squidoo lens on the 'Power of Kindness'. I think this is just what the world needs today." Chris Yeo
Guest Book & Reader Feedback
Please feel free to include your own thoughts here.
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Prophetic_Blogger
Apr 21, 2012 @ 1:21 am | delete
- Thankyou for your thought provoking lens. The trouble in this world seems that it maybe too easy to be mean than it is to be kind. People may refrain from being kind because the receiver of the kindness may question the motives behind it. It's very hard to change peoples mindsets, especially when the media report so much sorrow and suffering. I will try to be more aware of being kind throughout my day. Thanks again for the lens.
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Steve_Kaye
Apr 5, 2012 @ 12:30 pm | delete
- I found this lens because I was searching for an article on the book, "The Power of Nice." I strongly recommend this book. If everyone followed these ideas, we would have a wonderful world.
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VISITOR
Apr 7, 2012 @ 10:25 am | delete
- For a historic view of the power of nice you may be interested in THE SEEDS WE SOW, KINDNESS THAT FED A HUNGRY WORLD.
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MarilynBriant
Feb 18, 2012 @ 12:59 pm | delete
- It is heartwarming to find someone else who believes as I do - you just never know what someone else is going through, so even if they seem rude or unfriendly, it feels good to be kind. I have a Paying It Forward lens which I love updating with "random acts of kindness" stories. You have created a beautiful lens from a beautiful heart.
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poutine
Jan 26, 2012 @ 6:02 pm | delete
- I believe in kindness for others.
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