Best Rocky Balboa Movie Villain

It's a good thing Stallone allowed this character to use the actor's actual first name because there's a good chance he wouldn't have remembered it otherwise. Tommy Morrison as a boxer was thrilling to watch, especially as a native of Kansas City. Tommy Morrison as an actor was...well, embarrassing. (Please don't hit me, sir.)

Acting chops aside, Tommy was the least intimidating (and interesting) of the villains. Toward the end of the movie (by far the worst in the series), Tommy Gunn confronts Rocky outside the ring and they get into an 80's style street fight. With a crowd of stereotypical hood rats surrounding them, I wasn't sure if they were going to box or breakdance. Or both.

Sorry Tommy Gunn. You suck the hardest. (That's what she said.)

Mason Dixon was too vanilla for my tastes. I understand where Stallone was trying to go with the movie, so to an extent the character's persona made sense. But in terms of sheer "tie up damsels in distress on the railroad tracks" villainy, Dixon was sorta bland. Less of a villain and more of a slightly agitated guy whose mood might improve later on with an ice cream cone.

Corny name aside, Mason Dixon sucked but sucked less hard than Tommy Gunn. So I guess we're dealing with degrees of suck here. I probably better stop now so I can maintain this "G" rating...

Over 6 feet tall. 12 inch pythons. Long blond hair (minus a big whopping bald spot). That's right, "The Ultimate Man", Thunderlips, is coming to town and he's got a present for the "Ultimate Meatball." Namely, that gift consists of Thunderlips picking up Rocky like he's giving a little kid a piggy back ride and dealing him a full-on dose of emasculation.

In this boxing versus wrestling charity match, Rocky and Thunderlips were set to spar and put on a little show for the crowd. Little did Balboa know that Thunderlips was experiencing some serious 'roid rage that fateful day.

Rocky takes a few easy shots at Thunderlips' stomach. Thunderlips chases Rocky around the ring like the infamous chicken scene, causing Rocky to feel like a Kentucky Fried Idiot. Thunderlips forcefully throws Rocky from the ring. Balboa makes his way back in and climbs up Thunderlips' back, putting him in a choke hold. It's like watching the neighborhood chihuahua try to mount that Great Dane down the road.

Suddenly Thunderlips forgives all and the two opponents fist pound, slap the ring girls, and agree to meet for beer later.

That part didn't make the final cut.

See, first Apollo hated Rocky in Rocky I. Then he hated him again in Rocky II. Then Apollo and Rocky became all BFF and joined forces to take on Clubber Lang in Rocky III. Apollo tried to do his own thing in Rocky IV against Ivan Drago and got himself killed. It just goes to show you...well, I'm honestly not sure what that proves. Sucks to be him though, all dead and stuff.

Apollo was a tough opponent. He was smooth in the ring, very quick and stylish. He had flash and pizzaz and made the Stallion look slow. But what Rocky lacked in grace, he made up for in heart. And that's why you got your a$$ handed to you, Apollo!

I'm not gonna lie. I cried when Apollo died. Don't tell anybody.

Ivan Drago was one intimidating dude. He was like 8 ft. 14 something and was popping steroids the way a retarded kid pops his balloon. I mean, he killed Apollo Creed (oops, spoiler!) by punching his face almost off.

And then the giant spoke in that robotic Russian monotone. "I must break you."

When I watched Rocky take blows from that big freak of nature, I'm pretty sure a little pee trickled down my leg. Drago made me want to fly to Russia and bomb the place, straight up nuclear style. Man I hated that guy. Jerk.

Man, what can you even say about how BA Mr. T is? Dude is just mean. He oozes testosterone. He can just look at you and make you instinctively walk the other way.

Clubber Lang's training montage from Rocky III is brutal. Rocky, having maintained the heavyweight title for quite some time now has become complacent. He is soft. Clubber, on the other hand, is hungry and Italian food is the only thing on the menu. While Rocky trains in a nice upscale gym, you see Clubber putting in work in some dank, dingy makeshift weightroom. It looks like there is poor ventilation, which is not a good thing given the amount of sweat pouring from the guy. And then Lang begins doing chin ups on some old rusty pipes hanging from the ceiling. Pimp juice!

Before the movie is over, Clubber kills Mick (Rocky's trainer) and verbally rapes Rocky's wife. He beats Rock within an inch of his life and I'm pretty sure he farted in Rocky's corner too. Clubber Lang easily pulls in the number one spot as the most vile, mean, badass Rocky villain of all time!

Buy at AllPosters.com

(Click each picture for a larger image.)