Home » Entertainment » Humor » Satire

Write Good With Help From William Safire's Fumblerules

Ranked #6,854 in Entertainment, #76,489 overall

I Write Good ........ And U Can 2

Years ago, way before I was cornated as a Giant Squid, folks was always trying to illicit my good writing secrets. Heck, what was I suppose to do? Hoard them like a greedy miser in my chester drawers? Anyways, I could care less about there getting better then me at writing real good. Like my Gramdma always said, when water seeks it's own level, the creme rises to the top! The time has come to give credit where its do, and unveil my secret weapon... William Safire's Fumblerules of grammer, punctuation and diction. Needless to say, I keep the list by my side at all times when polishing up text and prose. So, irregardless of the fact that I'm a good writer, now you too can become one with new wisdom. Soon you'll be elocuting with style and smartness to the amazement of your fellow lensmasters at Squidoo.

All's I can say is... "Look out, Megan Casey... theirs a new Sheriff in town!"

Creative Commons License

Contents at a Glance

Fumblerules of Grammar
Grammar Tip
How Not to Write: The Essential Misrules...
Rush to a Bookstore Near You!
Fumblerules of Punctuation
Punctuation Tip!!!
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
Apostrophe "Police"
Punctuation.com

by Etymologist Par Excellence, William Safire

Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.
Don't use no double negatives.
Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
No sentence fragments.
Proof read carefully to see if you any words out.
Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have snuck in the language.
Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
Write all adverbial forms correct.

Grammar Tip

Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.

Buy at AllPosters.com

How Not to Write: The Essential Misrules of Grammar

Laugh and Learn With William Safire

How Not to Write: The Essential Misrules of Grammar

by: William Safire

Amazon Price: $6.92 (as of 02/16/2012)

This book was published years ago as "Fumblerules." A fumblerule is a sentence that teaches a writing principle by being a clearly and often humorous example of breaking the rule. You immediately see why writing that way is a mistake. He has fifty column length articles here; each devoted to clarifying one rule. I enjoyed all of them and had more than a few laughs as I read through the book.

Rush to a Bookstore Near You!

Slow Down Please ... Children Walkin to School

Buy at AllPosters.com

Fumblerules of Punctuation

by New York Times Columnist William Safire

Reserve the apostrophe for it's proper use and omit it when its not needed.
Avoid commas, that are not necessary.
Avoid overuse of "quotation "marks.""""
Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!!!
Hyphenate between syllables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.

Punctuation Tip!!!

Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn't.

Buy at AllPosters.com

Eats, Shoots & Leaves

Why, Commas Really Do Make a Difference!

Eats, Shoots & Leaves: Why, Commas Really Do Make a Difference!

by: Lynne Truss

Amazon Price: $6.85 (as of 02/16/2012)

This book aptly illustrates why commas really do make a difference!

Buy at AllPosters.com

Apostrophe "Police"

To Correct and Serve

Grammar Police Apostrophe Tee by Grammar_Police

Punctuation.com

Beep Beep!

Fumblerules of Style and Diction

by Pulitzer Prize Winning Author William Safire

Do not put statements in the negative form.
If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.
Don't string too many prepositional phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
Always pick on the correct idiom.
Eschew dialect, irregardless.
It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.
Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixed metaphors.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

Style Tip

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, resist hyperbole.

One Can Only Pity the Hilton Heir-Head

Ooops ... She Did It Again!

Who Says Your Not?

Don't Laugh at Paris ... Laugh With Her!

Thats HOT! by anfaehotboy

Ode to Irregardless

A Few Facts About 'Irregardless,' Courtesy of Wikipedia

Buy at AllPosters.com

Irregardless is a term meaning in spite of or anyway, that has caused controversy since it first appeared in the early twentieth century. It is generally listed in dictionaries as "incorrect" or "nonstandard."

The origin of irregardless is not known for certain, but the speculation among references is that it may be a blend of irrespective and regardless, both of which are commonly accepted standard English words. By blending these words, an illogical word is created. Another possibility is that when people say "irregardless" they are following the pattern of words like irrational and irregular. Since the prefix ir- means 'not' (as it does with irrespective), and the suffix -less means 'without,' irregardless is a double negative.

In the comic strip Li'l Abner, throughout the 1930s and 1940s various characters used irregardless frequently, and may have even kept the word alive during those decades by causing enough people to think it was the correct syntax.

The Indispensible Thesaurus

Thesaurus Rex

No writer worth his salt would leave home without their pocket thesaurus. Thumb thru the pages and look for yourself. A world of synonyms are at your beck and call, ready to add pizazz to any text. You'll never be stumped for the perfect word in any situation... circumstance... predicament... condition... excetera. Plagiarizers around the globe know this to be true—steal a chunk of text from some other schlub writer, stick in a few replacement synonyms here and there to throw off the Google bots, and suddenly, you're Hemingway! And let us not forget antonyms. If ever you need to say the opposite of what you're trying to say, don't hesitate to put this awesome resource to work for you today. As my second grade teacher use to say, "A thesaurus is NOT a dinosaur." In conclusion, it will behoove you to keep one by your side at all times, particularly when composting text modules for your Squidoo lenses.

Thesaurus.com

Who Knew It Was An Actual Place?

Style Tip

Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

It Bares Repeating... Don't Be Redundant!

Hey, Who Ya Callin' a Dummy?

English Grammar for Dummies

English Grammar For Dummies

by: Geraldine Woods

Amazon Price: $8.99 (as of 02/16/2012)

Five out of four English teachers agree that writing good will help you in everyday situations, such as making tons of Squidoo lenses. Editionally, you will get extra confidence in knowing your speaking or writing well, and you'll stun people whom aren't as goodly articulated.

Don't Be a Wise Guy With Words

Dewey, Cheatem & Howe

Buy at AllPosters.com

Alex ... I'd Like to Buy an "L"

I HEART Spell Check

Spelling Errors Make Me [sic]

Luckily for us good writers, modern technology is the proverbial night in shining armor. Spelling perfection is just a click away with your friendly computor spell checker. When I first embraced my spell checker, this dude in my journalism class warned, "Beware of homonyms!" and I was all "WHATEVER!" Still, I must confess he peaked my curiosity. But that was literally eons ago; its a mute point. Lets fast forward too the present wear anyone with a computer can whip up excellent syntax with professional results. Just press the trusty spell cheque key when your done texting and --- presto chango --- those pesky typos are stopped dead inn there trax. Eradicate spelling foe paws and put you're spell checker 2 use today, if not sooner.

Too Cool For School

Is Good Spelling Your For-Tay?

Celebrate Your Inner Champeon in Style!

Merriam-Webster.com

Don'tcha Mean Endeavour? It Doesn't Take a Rocket Scientist to Figure That One Out!

100 Words Almost Everyone Mispronounces

Air on the Side of Caution --- Your Libel to Take Proper Pronounciation for Granite Without This Revelant Resource in Your Personal Libary

100 Words Almost Everyone Mispronounces

Amazon Price: $0.19 (as of 02/16/2012)

For all intensive purposes, it's critical in this doggy dog world to orientate yourself properly with regard to language. This book is a blessing in the skies for folks who do their upmost to use proper verbage, expecially those in a bidness envirement. Sose you better order a copy today and wet your appetite for a whole nother lesson in mastering the art of pronounciation.

Be Prepared for Nucular Fallout

Do You Go All Nuclear When the Former President Says Nucular? William Safire Noted that in Addition to Bush, Three Other U.S. Presidents -- Eisenhower, Carter, and Clinton -- Also Mangled the Word

Buy This Allposters.com

Eliminate Quotations

As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations.
Tell me what you know."

"Lord, what fools these mortals be!" Shakespere (aka Shakespeare)

American Author William Safire

A Few Facts Courtesy of Wikipedia

William Lewis Safire was an American author, columnist, journalist and presidential speechwriter. Safire died from pancreatic cancer at a hospice in Rockville, Maryland, on September 27, 2009, aged 79. He was survived by his wife Helene; their children Mark and Annabel; and a granddaughter. He was perhaps best known as a long-time syndicated political columnist for the New York Times and a regular contributor to "On Language" in the New York Times Magazine, a column on popular etymology, new or unusual usages, and other language-related topics.

Never Stop Proofreading

And Finally... Without Further Adieu

My Most Secret Writing Tips!

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
It is wrong ever to split an infinitive.
Contractions aren't necessary.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
One should never generalize.
Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
Profanity sucks!
Be more or less specific.
Understatement is always best.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
One-word sentences? Eliminate.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
The passive voice is to be avoided.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Who needs rhetorical sentences?
Avoid alliteration. Always.
Employ the vernacular.
Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.
No sentence fragments.
Never use a long word where a diminuative one will do.
Never ever use repetitive redundancies.
Don't verb nouns.
Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague! They're old hat.

Its Your Turn!

Don't Worry... I Except Criticism Good As Well

Loading poll. Please Wait...

Share this poll
- Stumbleupon
- Facebook
- MySpace
- Twitter
- Digg
- Delicious
- Email

Fess Up, Philologists

If you came acrossed more good writing tips, don't secrete them.

Rest Your Weary Wrists, Fellow Scribes!

Share You're Favorite Writing Pet Peeve in This Here Guestbook

submit

Reply

PastorCher Jan 12, 2012 @ 4:49 pm | delete

When people use the same word over, and over, and over... in one sentene :( It is rather boring. I want to tell them to pick up a thesaurus, but I don't.

Reply

amieljaven Dec 9, 2011 @ 2:56 am | delete

Hi, KimGiancaterino.

Thanks so much for blessing my 10 Nice Things About Charice Pempengco That Her Fans Should Know lens.

As a token of appreciation, I have featured this lens on that lens. It's located at the bottom before the comment module.

Hope you like it.

Merry Christmas to you and your family!

Reply

amieljaven Dec 9, 2011 @ 2:50 am | delete

This is fantastic! I have learned so much from this lens.

Reply

sherioz Nov 28, 2011 @ 3:47 pm | delete

This is a beautiful lens.

Reply

KeepsakeIdeas Nov 7, 2011 @ 8:09 am | delete

It annoys me when people say "bare with me". I'm not a prude but we've only just met! :)

Reply

tokyonights7 Nov 5, 2011 @ 1:56 pm | delete

Just the lens I needed to make my grammar gooder! Thanks! ;)

Reply

DebMartin Nov 5, 2011 @ 12:10 pm | delete

Great lens. I love the punctuation poster.

Reply

PaulOnBooks Nov 5, 2011 @ 10:14 am | delete

A not inconsiderable erudite exposition.

Reply

LotusLandry Aug 21, 2011 @ 10:27 am | delete

Critique groups who focus on SHOW don't TELL when some writers have a narrative style

Reply

serenity4me Jul 8, 2011 @ 2:06 pm | delete

I love your spin of humor on our writing problems.

Reply

BFuniv.com May 10, 2011 @ 12:03 pm | delete

Tooschool for cool. loved: Proof read carefully to see if you any words out.""" This page is me freeing.

Reply

GonnaFly Apr 12, 2011 @ 10:04 pm | delete

I use to think I is bad at grammaring. I could of cried. But reading this lens, you have showed me I'm grate!

Reply

ChrisDay Jan 27, 2011 @ 2:55 pm | delete

You dun real good here. Thanks - lensrolled to my 'Grumpy Grammar'

Reply

aj2008 Jan 19, 2011 @ 5:18 am | delete

Wot! Cor blimey, strike a light Mary Poppins! U mean ter say that this 'ere lens 'as been arand for sew long and I only just sin it? (she says in her best Dick Van Dyke cockney accent)

Brilliant lens - should be required reading for loadsa folks!

Reply

kougar Dec 17, 2010 @ 12:18 am | delete

Informative and fun lens. Great suggestions. Thanks

Reply

Margaret_Schaut Dec 5, 2010 @ 8:33 pm | delete

I be fixin' to hab an englush tess nex wensdee. Yowsers, tks fer da tips, I'll cointenly past now!

Reply

ICanCook Nov 13, 2010 @ 9:56 pm | delete

I started reading and had I not know you were a Giant, I might have stopped. Glad I carried on. It made me laugh today. Thanks.

Reply

TheGoodSource101 Oct 9, 2010 @ 9:25 pm | delete

So much Info! Great Lens!

Reply

CDT Sep 23, 2010 @ 4:35 am | delete

I was sat here reading this lens and I thought "their is a grate lens". Your so funny and you write so good, hear is a Squid Angle blessing 4U :)

Reply

Wednesday_Elf Jun 25, 2010 @ 8:23 am | delete

Hilarious.... and I actually thought this lens was a 'for real' guide on 'good' writing! I once worked as a newspaper proofreading (in the olden days before spellcheck), and to this day 'typos' and incorrect grammar leap off the page at me :). I had to eliminate my normal urge to 'correct' while reading this. A really 'fun' read, and a good reminder to watch your "P's & Q's" when writing :).

Reply

Desilegend Feb 22, 2010 @ 11:00 am | delete

Great lens with great humour and images! Well presented and not created for the sake of money.

Reply

_Joan_ Jan 23, 2010 @ 4:03 pm | delete

Hilarious lens!

I'm reminded of the SpellCheck poem:
"I have a spelling checker
It came with my PC
It's their two mark four my revue
Mistakes eye dew knot sea
I've run this poem threw it
And yule bee pleased too no
It's letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew."

Reply

KimGiancaterino Jan 25, 2010 @ 7:36 pm | delete

That was grate!

Reply

Kapalbility Jan 23, 2010 @ 9:37 am | delete

Nice. I learned to laugh at my own grammatical and spelling mistakes. :)

Reply

theraggededge Jan 23, 2010 @ 8:53 am | delete

Oi fink this be exsillun....eggsellin.... good!

Reply

arncyn Jan 22, 2010 @ 8:53 am | delete

This lens has always been one of my favorites so I'm back with a little something extra *blessed*

Reply

danielca0720 Dec 24, 2009 @ 3:04 pm | delete

A few errors, unless meant to be made, and I loved the way you used the errors as examples, when stating the rule. 5/5*, lensrolled and favorited

Reply

arncyn Dec 2, 2009 @ 1:58 am | delete

This is a fantastic resource! I enjoyed reading all the tips *irregardless* of the fact that I was wincing at all the mistakes I'm guilty of! (:

Reply

Greekgeek Nov 28, 2009 @ 11:51 pm | delete

I just came back to absorb more wisdom.
ESCHEW OBFUSCATION!

Reply

drifter0658 Oct 15, 2009 @ 8:10 pm | delete

Eye always toad mahsef ,"If'n I becum a Skwid Angle I'd bless this hear linz."

Sew eye iz blessin' it.

Reply

JaguarJulie Oct 5, 2009 @ 3:53 pm | delete

Some days I write gooder than other days and some days I'll have a brain f*rt. Once in a while, a few words will trip me up and that's the time I think, "I didn't write that!"

Reply

puterfreak Aug 9, 2009 @ 6:45 am | delete

Love your lens! It reminded me of my childhood.

My uncle, who is an English teacher with a Master's degree frequently corrected me. I remember him looking at me with a grin on his face saying, "Ain't ain't a word!" Of course, he also used to smile at me and say, "The word is rabbit, not wabbit!" LOL

Reply

puzzlemaker Jul 2, 2009 @ 5:02 pm | delete

OK, some of these hit home. They will help me to be a better writer so I'm dealing with it. Thanks for these excellent tips.

Reply

KimGiancaterino Jun 21, 2009 @ 11:19 am | delete

Thank you, Squid Angles!!!!!

Reply

Treasures-By-Brenda May 26, 2009 @ 3:18 pm | delete

Now hears a peace of work to copee! Shud an Squid Angle relee bless this mess?

Reply

mukunda22 May 18, 2009 @ 2:28 pm | delete

Every day in every way I am becoming gooder and gooder!!

Great humor in this lens which makes points that perhaps are easier to digest because it is funny!!

And Grammer didn't turn on anyone I know when we were all in school!!

High fived and faved!!

Reply

EverythingMouse May 6, 2009 @ 6:49 pm | delete

Wonderful! Blessings. I try and liven up grammar lessons for my children so I will have to take a look at that book. I love Eats Shoots and Leaves.

Reply

Wysiwigs May 3, 2009 @ 5:07 am | delete

Oh my - what a puntastic lens! It's nice to know I'm not the only one that is a bit leery of spellcheck; in one system I worked for the superintendent omitted the "L" in public and unintentionally provided some free entertainment to hundreds of school employees (it was priceless). Super lens - I give it 5 *groans* :o)
-Connie Crankpot

Reply

chefkeem Apr 25, 2009 @ 11:56 pm | delete

Just re-blessed this wonderful work! :-)

Reply

tandemonimom Apr 8, 2009 @ 2:01 pm | delete

Ewe ave. dun wail! won-too-tree-for-fife stairs!

One of my favorite scenes from "Cheers" is when Sam has been asked to write his autobiography and tells Diane, "I write pretty good!" She answers tartly, "You don't write pretty GOOD, you write pretty WELL." Later, when Sam wants to ask Diane for help he approaches her and says, "Hey, Diane, can you help me? You're a pretty goo-... ah, a pretty well writer." LOL!

Reply

Tonita Apr 1, 2009 @ 1:19 pm | delete

This is an excellent lens,maybe I would become a better writer when I start using these tips.

Reply

SoyCandleLover-Maker Mar 31, 2009 @ 11:39 am | delete

Great lens and love the wordplay. Fav 5 stars.

Mi bigist pat peev iz::: bussines corespundence thet shuld haf a spel-cheker!!!!!!!! :D

Reply

Frankster Mar 22, 2009 @ 3:51 pm | delete

Excellent lens with great advice. I love the humor in the rules too. 5 stars and a favorite. Bear hugs, Frankster aka Beameister aka Cat-Woman

Reply

Ecolicious Mar 17, 2009 @ 12:34 pm | delete

This is a great lens with great tips.

Reply

poddys Mar 16, 2009 @ 1:55 pm | delete

Very funny lens but also some good advice. I am pleased to welcome this lens to the "Laugh Away" group on Squidoo. 5*****, Favorited, and Lensrolled to my Humor lenses.

Reply

Cumberland Mar 12, 2009 @ 9:09 am | delete

I really like your lens; and thought a lot of the suggestions were worthwhile, because every-one should try to do their best to write gooder and more better: because if we all did that the world would be a better place because of the increased quality of the communication used and this lens is definitely worth five (5) Stars.

Incidentally, my pet peeve is run on sentences. I really enjoy William Safire and appreciate his "Rules" of writing.

Reply

drifter0658 Mar 10, 2009 @ 9:53 pm | delete

I feel reaffirmed in the correctness, of my writing skills for I always just knew I was a good writer from the very start of school, way back in , well way back long ago when I started school.

Im really surprised that Mr. Saffire had won any kind of reward because, his writing doe'snt seem like its worthy of such accolades. I think I can surely write gooder.

Thank's so much for this wonderful EGO boast.

Reply

Lotusland Feb 22, 2009 @ 4:44 am | delete

In an effort to rush about learning SEO and latent semantic indexing it's nice to see someone pointing out, hey, let's get down the basics. Thanks for the info. on writing gooder.

Reply

lisadh Feb 20, 2009 @ 6:36 pm | delete

BRILLIANT!! I'd never seen Fumblerules, but leave it to William Safire to come up with something so simple, funny and useful! 5* and a favorite from me.

Reply

Steve Drost Feb 13, 2009 @ 5:49 pm | delete

I think this was almost as grate as my fireplace.

Reply

niveK Feb 7, 2009 @ 4:56 pm | delete

Yes, this should bee reqwired reeding for all knew Squidoo lenzmastors! Five starz for u!!!!!!!

My righting is even gooder on my knewst lenz: How To Survive The Recession.

Reply

Lisa Jan 6, 2009 @ 8:06 pm | delete

I heart all the funny pictures!

Reply

Lena Jan 6, 2009 @ 8:03 pm | delete

lol! this rules makes scents a lot!

Reply

dncresearch Jan 1, 2009 @ 2:34 pm | delete

Hilarious! Thanks for an informative and entertaining lens.

Reply

Evelyn_Saenz Nov 6, 2008 @ 8:17 pm | delete

"iheart u lens :)"!!!

Reply

GrowWear Nov 6, 2008 @ 7:45 pm | delete

As I said when I Twittered this lens: These is good writin' tips. :D

Reply

RolandTumble Oct 24, 2008 @ 2:12 pm | delete

Fun stuff. Consider adding an Amazon link to "Eats, Shoots and Leaves".

Reply

WritingforYourWealth Oct 5, 2008 @ 11:33 pm | delete

A fun lens. I shall watch for my "Spelling Foe Paws" in the future. ;)

Reply

chefkeem Oct 4, 2008 @ 11:36 pm | delete

I hope as a foreign alien that I can take and as well as receive some literally license by you. Miss Kim. However I am finally in the great fortunate position in my exalterated role as official to heartily bless what I think for sure is the funniest lens on all Squidoo.

Reply

ElizabethJeanAllen Sep 24, 2008 @ 3:29 pm | delete

When I started writing (fiction) I had to go back and learn all the grammmar rules I managed to avoid in high school. It took some effort. I still make mistakes (lots of them) but the more I write, the easier it gets.
Great lens.
Lizzy

Reply

Portable_eBay Sep 16, 2008 @ 2:54 pm | delete

Ohh my... my heart cringes when I read this lens. Because it means I may have to rewrite both of my lenses. (*collapses) I've never even reread them... (*collapses again)...

Reply

LaraineRose Sep 9, 2008 @ 3:31 am | delete

Congratulations to you. Winner of the Giant Lens Contest OR was that the Giant Winner Lens Contest OR .... lol I just love your lens. 5 stars, favorite, fan already and lensrolled.

Reply

LarryBass Sep 7, 2008 @ 12:01 pm | delete

Still splittin' a gut over here! :-) Too much Kim! You are an amazing writer/squidooer etall etc and furthermore and stuff too. ;-) Fantastic Stuff! 5 Gold ones for You!

Cheers,

LarryB

Reply

awelldressedbullet Aug 29, 2008 @ 5:15 pm | delete

Luved it! What a grate lens and I leerned alot two! - Kathy

Reply

rms Aug 29, 2008 @ 10:53 am | delete

This great lens is this week's winner of the Choose Your Favorite Giant Lens contest. Stop by the Showcase to grab your badge. (located in the Get Involved- Gain Exposure section)

Reply

EditorDave Aug 10, 2008 @ 10:28 pm | delete

Hi Kim, It's been a while since I went browsing-- and I'm glad I did! You have an amazing bunch of awesomely good lenses--and this one is great! I've linked you, favorited you, and lensrolled you! (Did you notice how well I *verbed* all those nouns above? I do really good at that, eh?) Drop by and visit when you get time between your lenses.

Reply

AmyEsther Jul 21, 2008 @ 11:21 pm | delete

Thank you! I am a professional writer and I'm always giving lots of writing tips to artists through my blog. I'll definitely be linking here next week! They could use to see this. Thanks for visiting my mac cheese lens!

Reply

Susan52 Jul 16, 2008 @ 12:25 pm | delete

Well werth the reed, even the comments are hylarious. And that thing that I do, I won't do it no more, know that I know better.

Reply

MobyD Jul 8, 2008 @ 8:51 am | delete

I gave 5 stars for this very funny and informative lens. Here's another writing tip: Eschew obfuscation.

Reply

Jun 3, 2008 @ 2:48 am | delete

Wait, I am proud that I was once the President of the Department of Redundancy Department of Redundancy.

Reply

daoine May 24, 2008 @ 11:39 pm | delete

I'm sending you a bill for cleaning my computer screen and keyboard since I happened to be drinking coffee while reading this lens. Mmm, you owe me another cup of coffee too... ;)

Reply

BFuniv.com May 23, 2008 @ 7:06 pm | delete

Thomas Jefferson rote "If you can't spell a word three diferent ways in one letter, you lack imagination." or mabe it twas som 1 else.

Reply

carrieokier May 14, 2008 @ 12:10 pm | delete

Geesh- I cringed threw the hole thing! Awesome lens. 5 stars four ewe!

Reply

mureksoy May 8, 2008 @ 12:15 pm | delete

Franks and beans, baby! This is by far my favorite lens!

Reply

May 4, 2008 @ 9:07 am | delete

iz ded frum laffin.

I love this lens!

Reply

chickendumplinchick May 4, 2008 @ 6:16 am | delete

Trying to think of something really clever to say, but I'm laughing too hard to think clearly. Well done!

Reply

rms May 2, 2008 @ 4:39 pm | delete

This is too cute. I heart it so much!

Reply

ddixonart May 2, 2008 @ 2:39 pm | delete

A dangling participle is something, which, up with which, I will not put!

I have noticed in recent years a lot more people type "to" when they need "too"...as in your page's title. It drives me crazy. Excellent page to. (LOL) Five stars!

Reply

teenpreneurs May 1, 2008 @ 12:38 pm | delete

okay...this made our day :) 5*'s 4 ya!

Reply

Graceonline Apr 30, 2008 @ 1:04 am | delete

Good info, good reminders. I'm blushing because I recognize several broken rules committed only tonight.

Reply

Janet21 Apr 26, 2008 @ 5:34 pm | delete

Terrific lens! I love it. :)

Reply

beeobrien Apr 26, 2008 @ 5:10 pm | delete

This is so very funny. My 12-year-old is loving it too.

Reply

Arizona-Snow Apr 26, 2008 @ 4:47 am | delete

WOW, this is one of the few lenses I have red all the way thro, most I just scan and read the interesting bits.

Pity I couldn't understand most of it tho :(, u gotta b a walking dictionary to understand some of dem words.

Reply

Piksychick Apr 26, 2008 @ 4:41 am | delete

OMG! This lens is so funny!!!!! (overuse of exclamation marks...whoops, sorry) It is now my new favorite. (my security word: nerdhead)

Reply

Greekgeek Apr 26, 2008 @ 2:01 am | delete

Feh. It edited out the graphic of my NIPOCAR badge, the symbol of the order, which explained what the word means. The acronym stands for "Nitpickers, Obsessive Compulsives and Anal Retentives," a society founded by me and several Tolkien nerds on a forum we used to frequent.

Reply

Greekgeek Apr 26, 2008 @ 1:58 am | delete

AUGH!

As one of its founding officers, I am hereby arresting you in the name of NIPOCAR!

Your signature with the name of this lens hurt my brain enough that I just had to look. Well done. Evil woman!

Reply

Janusz Apr 25, 2008 @ 3:22 pm | delete

Your simply the best :)

Reply

Silver_Lotus Apr 25, 2008 @ 3:02 pm | delete

Love it!

Reply

SusanVillasLewis Apr 25, 2008 @ 10:00 am | delete

If it hadn't been your picture at the top, I might not have kept reading long enough to get the joke. Awesome job!!

Reply

kab Apr 24, 2008 @ 10:54 pm | delete

Eats shoots and leaves

Reply

Caseyfern Apr 24, 2008 @ 1:48 pm | delete

Oh Kim! As soon as I can stop laughing, you're going straight into the Soup. Priceless!

Reply

Crystal_Booth Apr 24, 2008 @ 1:16 pm | delete

Wonderfully funny lens! Thanks for joining the Humor and Hilarity group.

Reply

KimGiancaterino Apr 23, 2008 @ 11:19 pm | delete

Awesome dude, you just made my day!

Reply

chefkeem Apr 23, 2008 @ 11:05 pm | delete

I'm so glad I vent to school in Germany because that's vhere you learn the English gramma right and not vhat I here so often around hear vhen people dont really vorry about speaking proper and dont get me started vith riting cause that"s ewen vorse like nobody finished their homevork back in the day and rather vent rapping vith there friends and that didn't help either I can imagine vhen all your friends try to talk like the biggest hot shot vith all that hey bro aint no m.....f..... a..h... messing vith my sh.. but I know how to speak Latin vanna hear weni widi wici thats vhat Caesar said my man or that Shakesbeer guy I dont remember you can't fool me bro I'm from the old vorld vhere their is some culture left you better believe it or I hit you over the head vith my freedom fries vhere the sun never shines thank you for letting me contribute to this really good lens I mean really really good and I think I'm gonna have to give it five stars and put it in my funny squidoo lens two

Show All

Share this Guestbook
- Stumbleupon
- Facebook
- MySpace
- Twitter
- Digg
- Delicious
- RSS
- Email

Courtesies

Even Prose Need Help Now and Than

Medscape (Introduction Photo)
Book Review by Craig Matheson
Shakespeare Photo by joelt, Flickr
Rainbow Squid Courtesy of Greekgeek
The Fumblerules of Writing, William Safire
Jeopardy Text Generator by Atom Smasher
The Internet Media Database: Meet the Press
Commonly Misused Words and Phrases, Diana Hacker
"A Midsummer Night's Dream" Act 3, scene 2, 110-115

Free Images for Websites and Lenses

Thank You, Squidoo!

Many Thanks to the SquidTeam & Giant Squid Organizers

Write Good With Help From William Safire's Fumblerules received a Purple Star on December 6, 2010.

Featured on The Funniest Squidoo Lensmasters

Thank you, chefkeem!

Laughter ... The Best Medicine

Right Here on Squidoo!

The Laugh Away group at Squidoo is home to the funniest lenses - click on the laughing man to start yourself laughing. This group is for all lenses related to Humor, Jokes, Funny Pictures, Funny Videos, Amusing Stories etc.