Best of Mitch Hedberg
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The best of Mitch Hedberg humor on Twitter.
This page is my tribute to Mitch Hedberg, a comedian I never got to see live. He died in 2005 of a drug overdose. Hedberg was the master of one-liners and would have been a brilliant Twitter user, so I couldn't write about him in any form other than this list. I miss the guy, and I never even knew him. Here are the funniest Mitch quotes I've found among recent tweets, plus a clip of Mitch Hedberg doing standup.
Mitch Hedberg's Best Jokes
Or at least, the best of Mitch Hedberg jokes short enough to tweet.
Best of:
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- retweet | reply glamtrashface
- I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle. #mitchhedberg
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- retweet | reply jealousmango
- "The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall"-Mitch Hedberg
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- retweet | reply SIParticular
- @rgrrabbit1 its like Mitch Hedberg used to say, "Escalator temporarily stairs: sorry for the CONVENIENCE"
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- retweet | reply mibredclaimer
- Would people get it if I dressed up as Mitch Hedberg for Halloween?
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- retweet | reply Resarrection
- we find those round here sometimes: http://bit.ly/1ds9DY RT @1twistedmind: A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer. ~ Mitch Hedberg
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- retweet | reply SupahHero
- OMG OMG I JUST PASSED A DOUBLE TREE HOTEL!!! #mitchhedberg
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- retweet | reply leoken
- I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. #mitchhedberg
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- retweet | reply cjsysreform
- Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. #mitchhedberg http://twttrlist.com/12ot
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- retweet | reply JBs_World
- Watching Mitch Hedberg on YouTube - so funny, gone far too soon... http://bit.ly/4q6Ev8
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- retweet | reply scrone22
- @lmbraman I wanna be a race car passenger.. The one that bugs the driver. Why we gotta keep goin in circles? #mitchhedberg
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- retweet | reply SomethingIndie
- #fact the weather is not trippy. It is the way we percieve the weather that is indeed trippy. #mitchhedberg
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- retweet | reply joseph_narvaez
- hasn't slept for three days because that would be too long. #mitchhedberg #fb
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- retweet | reply mikeblester
- @swyyft For real - my neighborhood actually has a rabbit infestation, they're everywhere. cutest infestation ever #mitchhedberg
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- retweet | reply bmisunderstood
- Ducks love bread but do not have the capability to buy a loaf. The biggest joke on ducks ever #mitchhedberg
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- retweet | reply strangerbox
- You would never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry For the Convenience. #mitchhedberg
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- retweet | reply Jaytography
- A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap. Mitch Hedberg #quote
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- retweet | reply JohnnyBTruant
- Hedberg: "That would suck if an arrow killed you. They'd never solve the crime. 'Hey, look at that dead guy... Let's go that way.'"
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- retweet | reply jstrassburg
- Just booked a hotel. I can't tell you where I'm staying but there are two trees involved. #mitchhedberg
Community write-ins:
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- cjsysreform
- aka Amanda Sage
- 207 followers
- 178 following
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- @JMNDesigns @GiltGroupe been hearing about this sale from many people. probably means there's nothing left! will check.
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- Joined Wikifashion. I don't really get it, but hopefully this will change.
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- I need someone to design a logo for me. Can pay in publicity, and/or product samples. Please send message @32aabra
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- Following @BrentSpiner, because he comes across very well on Twitter. Not sure if this is a compliment or an insult.
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- Tang was God #wheniwaslittle ... and this has not changed much.
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Hedberg's one-liners cannot live on tweets alone.
You also need to watch him do standup.
Good thing you can see this video of Mitch Hedberg here, and not have to get sucked into reading endless stupid YouTube comments. This is why my page is excellent.
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Are you a fan of Mitch Hedberg?
Sometimes I come up with my own Mitch-inspired jokes, but I never say them out loud. I'm happy enough just to laugh at them in my head.
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nadjaiskeniskie
Nov 23, 2011 @ 3:21 pm | delete
- I just discovered Mitch today. And ended up on this lens looking for more information. cheers
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mahimattphoto
Mar 27, 2011 @ 8:45 pm | delete
- Love Mitch! One of the best of all time! He did it his way and took him a while to get noticed but wow what a comic genius!
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AlaskaHydro
Sep 14, 2010 @ 10:23 am | delete
- Saw him on Comedy Central a while back and loved his work. Was not aware of his death in '05. Great lens.
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Ramkitten
Aug 22, 2009 @ 7:54 pm | delete
- Kind of reminds me of Steven Wright in a way. I'd never heard of Mitch Hedberg before now, either.
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I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here.
- Mitch Hedberg
by cjsysreform
I am Amanda Sage, aka The Flat-Chested Fashion Fiend. Feel free to say hi to me on Twitter, or check out my StumbleUpon blog and web page reviews. Personal... more »
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