The best of Mitch Hedberg humor on Twitter.
Mitch Hedberg's Best Jokes
Or at least, the best of Mitch Hedberg jokes short enough to tweet.
Best of:
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- retweet | reply glamtrashface
- I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle. #mitchhedberg
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- retweet | reply jealousmango
- "The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall"-Mitch Hedberg
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- retweet | reply SIParticular
- @rgrrabbit1 its like Mitch Hedberg used to say, "Escalator temporarily stairs: sorry for the CONVENIENCE"
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- retweet | reply mibredclaimer
- Would people get it if I dressed up as Mitch Hedberg for Halloween?
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- retweet | reply Resarrection
- we find those round here sometimes: http://bit.ly/1ds9DY RT @1twistedmind: A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer. ~ Mitch Hedberg
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- retweet | reply SupahHero
- OMG OMG I JUST PASSED A DOUBLE TREE HOTEL!!! #mitchhedberg
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- retweet | reply leoken
- I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. #mitchhedberg
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- retweet | reply cjsysreform
- Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. #mitchhedberg http://twttrlist.com/12ot
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- retweet | reply JBs_World
- Watching Mitch Hedberg on YouTube - so funny, gone far too soon... http://bit.ly/4q6Ev8
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- retweet | reply scrone22
- @lmbraman I wanna be a race car passenger.. The one that bugs the driver. Why we gotta keep goin in circles? #mitchhedberg
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- retweet | reply SomethingIndie
- #fact the weather is not trippy. It is the way we percieve the weather that is indeed trippy. #mitchhedberg
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- retweet | reply joseph_narvaez
- hasn't slept for three days because that would be too long. #mitchhedberg #fb
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- retweet | reply mikeblester
- @swyyft For real - my neighborhood actually has a rabbit infestation, they're everywhere. cutest infestation ever #mitchhedberg
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- retweet | reply bmisunderstood
- Ducks love bread but do not have the capability to buy a loaf. The biggest joke on ducks ever #mitchhedberg
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- retweet | reply strangerbox
- You would never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry For the Convenience. #mitchhedberg
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- retweet | reply Jaytography
- A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap. Mitch Hedberg #quote
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- retweet | reply JohnnyBTruant
- Hedberg: "That would suck if an arrow killed you. They'd never solve the crime. 'Hey, look at that dead guy... Let's go that way.'"
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- retweet | reply jstrassburg
- Just booked a hotel. I can't tell you where I'm staying but there are two trees involved. #mitchhedberg
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Hedberg's one-liners cannot live on tweets alone.
You also need to watch him do standup.
About Mitch Hedberg
The stand-up comedian's biography.
If you've never heard of Mitch Hedberg, guess what... this is the best thing that has happened to you all day. I first heard his jokes from a co-worker at Starbucks, a job I hated. I never had any fun working there until Ramon broke out his Mitch Hedberg comedy routine... and then I laughed so hard I spilled coffee all over myself.
Mitchell Lee Hedberg (February 24, 1968 ? March 29, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. Hedberg's comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes, and observational comedy, mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs. Hedberg's comedy and on-stage persona gained him a cult following, with audience members sometimes shouting out the punchlines to his jokes before he could finish them.
Are you a fan of Mitch Hedberg?
Sometimes I come up with my own Mitch-inspired jokes, but I never say them out loud. I'm happy enough just to laugh at them in my head.
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- Ramkitten Ramkitten Aug 22, 2009 @ 7:54 pm
- Kind of reminds me of Steven Wright in a way. I'd never heard of Mitch Hedberg before now, either.
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- cjsysreform cjsysreform Aug 22, 2009 @ 2:06 am
- Awesome. I'm always happy to spread the Mitch Hedberg love.
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- Stazjia Stazjia Aug 18, 2009 @ 4:14 am
- I'd never heard of Mitch Hedberg but I love that kind of humour. Thanks for introducing me to him.
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- Brookelorren Brookelorren Aug 17, 2009 @ 10:39 pm
- Funny. I never heard of him before
I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here.
- Mitch Hedberg
by cjsysreform
I am Amanda Sage, aka The Flat-Chested Fashion Fiend. Feel free to say hi to me on Twitter, or check out my StumbleUpon blog and web page reviews. P... (more)
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