bi-cultural love and immigration laws

Last time I talked about how hard moving from Montana was for me. That was a very long flight as well. I was not sure what I was doing but I was doing it. I left all. Now I needed to start a new life with Fabienne in another country knowing that I could not go back to the USA with her. I was forced to choose between my country and my love. Of course I choose Love!!!

Finally Fabienne and I were together again but now I have to start from zero in another country. Learn another language, other metric system, another type of life and culture.

I was so happy to be with Fabienne again but also sad of all I left behind. My dog, my home, my friends.

Fabienne was super happy and decided to through a welcome back party. She invited all her friends which are my new friends now. It was spring. Friends and co-workers from Fabienne that I met when I came to Germany the first time came over to the party. It was a lot of fun and they really made me feel welcome to my new life as an exiled american.

I really had no idea what I was doing. Everything was great but I couldn't control the feeling of uncertainty I was having. Everything was so new to me but at least I was with Fabienne.

My first reaction was to reject the German language. I could not believe how hard it was to learn. I am bi-lingual (Spanish-English) and I had no problems learning English but learning German was a different story. Everything about the German language is hard for me. The pronunciation is super hard. Plus the super long words made it even harder. Even simple stuff you do in life were hard for me to do because of the language barrier.

The culture shock was harder than I expected. I had such mixed feelings. I was happy and I was sad. Happy I was with Fabienne, the love of my life, but sad of the hard price to pay to be with her because my country would not allow me to sponsor her as my wife.

I am really grateful there are countries like Germany that do not make you decide between the person you love and your country. I think the USA, "the land of the free", have lots to learn from an old country like Germany. I still can't believe that the USA is so behind about issues like these that are all about human rights.

I am still in the process of adjusting to my new country. Living in exile is not easy. But in the other hand I am living in Europe and experiencing all kinds of new things and I am not alone anymore. There is a lot of love in my life and that makes all this hard process worth it. I would not change anything I have done. I will continue to keep following my heart no matter what or how hard it can be. I have learned that the things you appreciate the most in life are not the things you get easily but the ones that are the hardest. I know that somehow we will find that happy ending. Not a fairy tale one but one that works for both.

This blog has reached the present times. So it is going to be a little difficult to write about it since I usually write about 3 months at a time. So I will write about recent equal rights and marriage issues in the USA and in occasion will add some of my present life.

I have to say that writing my story in this blog has been very difficult for me because I am usually a very private person. I feel exposed but I hope that writing my story would help people realize how unfair it is to not legalize same sex marriage in the USA in a federal way. I hope that me sharing my life with all of you will be worth the exposure and help create conscience in the hearts of all Americans.

Thank you for following my story and for all the support. It has helped me to get stronger and continue with this fight about equal rights for all. If you like please write your comments and sign the guest book. I would really like to hear what you think about my story. Reading your comments give me strength to continue this fight. So feel free to fuel my strength!

This is Fabienne's welcome back party for me in the back yard of the house. I am grilling in a German style BBQ. Check out the German flag on the back!

Check out the cake her friends had for us in my welcome back to Germany party. Sonja and Anja are Fabienne's best friends and my new friends as well. Sweet!

This is my beloved dog, Dude. I miss her soooooooooooooo much!!!!

This is my good friend Amanda. She helped me so much and she was also my best woman in my wedding. She is the one that took care of my dog until her landlord found out a dog was living in the house. I miss her so much!

My Good Friends Derek and Caitlin with me. This was taken at the goodbye party.

I want to start by saying that English is my second language and I am definitely not a writer, as you can probably notice. Well for all I know my language is Spanglish, at least now. But I am writing this because I think it is important for people to realize that stories like this happens all the time in the USA when our rights are violated.
Last time I told you about our first Month. Well it took 3 months for Fabienne to be able to come back to the USA after that. During that time we kept in touch through webcam. I have to admit that even though I am glad we had the webcam it really sucked not being able to touch each other. I mean, we had our webcams on all the time but is not the same. We missed each other hardcore!
So finally she was back. I don't remember the exact date but it was sometime in the beginning of April. We were so happy! I thought to myself, we have to find a way for us to be together all the time despite being from different countries, and not only that, but being part of the LGBT (Lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-gendered) community. I had to admit, I never thought or had any clue that it was going to be so hard for us to be together, at least in my country, the United States of America. The supposedly land of the freedom, the land of opportunities, NOT!
Now that I am living in Germany I realize how hard must have been for Fabienne to "move" to my country. She left all for me and came to a country that did not wanted her. But she did it without a second thought. All because she loved me. That made me love her even more!
So we started to do all kinds of fun stuff together. We started by going to Hot Springs for a few days with my good friends Amanda and Mel. We had so much fun! We also went camping numerous times. I showed her Montana, the place I love. We even took a road trip to California with my good friend Derek and his dog Stella. It was all so new to her. She was not used to driving for long periods of time. When we were in Nevada I could see her look around and see a lot of nothing (desert). She kept looking at me and saying...oh my God, when are we going to get there? so we stopped in Reno for lunch or dinner. Big bright lights everywhere, casinos, etc. I told her...and this is nothing...one day I will take you to Vegas! California was also awesome for her. So in the little time she was in the USA she went to Montana, Idaho, Nevada, California, Oregon and Washington. Back in Montana we had all kinds of BBQ's and parties with friends. We went out to the bars, restaurants, festivals, etc. We really were having the time of our lives. So it was almost 3 months and her visa needed to be renewed. She would have to go out of the USA to renew it. So we planned a road-trip to Nelson, Canada. We were super nervous cause we were afraid that they (border patrol) will not let her back in the USA. We had so much fun in Nelson. We got a hotel room in a cool place. Fabienne, Dude and me. (Dude is my dog). We went shopping and even rented a speed boat. That was so much fun. Fabienne wanted to jump in the water in the middle of the lake. I told her: Are you crazy? this water is freezing!
So it was time to go back to the USA. We bought new clothes and dress up a little. We were so nervous in the border line. I was thinking: what if they don't let her go back?. So we were next, the officer ask us for our passports. Then he went and check it in the computer or something. He came back and ask us why we were in Canada, how do we know each other, oh well, all kinds of questions. So they told us to go ahead and park the car on the side and they searched my car. They told her to go inside. The took pictures and her fingerprints. They did not really ask me much. They were concentrating on her. I was so stressed. But then finally one of the officers said, welcome to the USA. So we got in the car and slowly droved away. Once we were far enough from the border we started screaming and celebrating that she was back in the USA. woooohoooooooo!!!!! So the first stop was Glacier National Park. It was time to celebrate. We stayed in a cabin right outside West Glacier, had awesome food and partied hardcore with a friend that lived in the Kalispell area. The next day we took Going to the Sun road. She was amazed by the super clear glacier water and the super views. She saw her first grizzly bear ever and a moose in the Many Glacier area. I also took her in the lodge where they filmed part of the movie The Shinning with Jack Nicholson. We had a great time. So we went back to Missoula and celebrated some more. Went to the Union Club bar and played ping-pong and pool with our friends.
So we had 3 more months until she had to go out of the USA again. She couldn't work in the USA so I made a little hair salon area in the house for her to cut my friend's hair so she can make some money. She helped me with my business as a personal chef and also with the house and my dog. Everything was good.
Her birthday was coming up so I decided to throw a big party for her. She wanted to have a ping-pong tournament / dj party with minimal and techno music. So i reserved the Union Club because it has a ping-pong table, pool tables and space for dj's and dancing. I also talked to my friend Adelaide to spin some records. She is known as DJ Mermaid and has lots of minimal and techno records and would let Fabienne spin records too. My friend Amanda also deejayed. I made a German catering. All our good friends came to the party. We did the tournament, we ate, we danced, we drank and we closed the bar. We had an awesome after hours party at my house. We danced in the red dot (is a rounded red table I had in the living room in which we all danced all the time), smoked cigs in the basement(also known as the smoking area) I got to paint my friend's Derek face with a red sharpie. Oh well, the party was a complete success. Fabienne was happy and so was I.
Fabienne 3 months was almost up. She had to go out of the country again to renew her visa. We were not sure what to do. We thought about getting a ticket for her to go back to Germany for a little and then back. Then we thought about flying to Canada. But at the end we decided to take another road-trip to Canada but this time to Cranbrook. Little did we know that happiness was not going to last long and that one of the hardest times of our lives was coming soon.

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