Coping With a Bipolar Spouse!

Hello again, Michael here. If you are wondering why I am placing a lens about something so personal to me. I will give you the answer.

I grew up, as a child in a household that the parents loved each other, and are still together to this day,(I'm 26). My family has no history of mental illness, and I have really never been around someone who has had a mental illness. I was also raised with a strong Christian background. I grew up with the idea of once your married that's it. NO DIVORCE!! Whew, where did it all go wrong. Through high school, I dated some but not much. I was more interested in sports at the time. So upon getting out of high school I kinda went nuts. And then I met this girl....this was in June of 2002. She was beautiful as a bright blue morning looking out across a mountain valley in springtime. I was in love. We started dating and after a couple of months, I truly had fallen in love. But she had a secret. A secret I found out about a little too late.

When you love someone, and I mean truly love someone. You are willing to do anything almost to make them happy. Well things started to change in her personality, bit by bit, every day. About 8 months into are relationship she let me know that she had been diagnosed with Manic Depression when she was 12. Of course I really didn't understand what that meant, and she tried to explain. The problem was is that I didn't care. All I knew was that I loved her. Things by this time had gotten a little tense between us. Not enough to really worry about at the time, but enough to make life a little exciting I guess. Then things went straight to Hell. She snapped and turned violent on me. I didn't know what to do, and honestly I was scared to death. I have never dealt with a woman more or less a man acting that way. In my own naive mind, a mental illness never crossed my mind. Instead, I was looking at me trying to fix myself, but there wasn't really anything to fix. I was running my own business bringing in several thousand a week. I'm a romantic and would take her out to nice restaurants a few times a week. I spent thousands of dollars on name brand maternity clothes when she was pregnant with our first child. I did everything I could to make her feel like a queen. I loved her.... So when she flipped I bent over backwards to try and please her. Eventually we got married. and things got worse.

We now have 3 very beautiful children who are stuck right in the middle of all of this. Our days consist of basically not knowing how mommy is gonna react today. Or if she's in a good mood...when will it flip to a bad mood. Today was like any other. She was fine up until about dinner time, and then all hell broke loose. Why, you ask? Good question. Because I don't know. I look back over the previous seven years that I have spent with my wife, and wonder if this is all there is to life? Wake up in the morning. Get the kids ready for preschool. Go to work, then come home and fight. I hope not. Oh yeah and that business I owned before I met my wife. That's now gone due to the Bipolar side of my life. I would get up early to get ready to go to work. I jump out of the shower to find my wallet, keys, cellphone, and money gone. This went on for about a month, before I had to let the business go. What can I say, I love my wife. Now I live the life of what seems to be the up and down roller coaster ride that we call a bipolar relationship.

In October of 2007, things had finally reached a point in my life that I knew my wife had serious problems. Now here is the catch. I had no idea what bipolar was at this time nor could I possibly fathom just how bad things could be. The Police had been to our door several times for noise complaints. And I'm not talking about loud speakers. My wife would go into a rage and start screaming so many foul things that I don't blame people for calling the cops. Now mind you, I never ever got in trouble. Not once. I never touched my wife never did anything to go to jail for. So I forced her to go to the hospital. And you know what? The psychiatrist there when I told her what was going on took my crazy wife aside and asked her if I beat her. Now how in the hell are you gonna sit here and talk to someone who is apparently in their right frame of mind, and then ask his spouse who is causing major problems, and even has a history with their psych ward, if am beating her up at home. Ridiculous. Finally we got her into a program called Partial, which is an outpatient program. And you know what they said? They basically told me that she has a license to do whatever she pleases. No they didn't say it in those words. But more like this. Your wife is bipolar and really doesn't understand what she is doing, or how it is affecting other people and herself. They told me that she has no control over the cheating and the screaming and all this other stuff. Wow what am I supposed to do now? How can I be mad at my wife if she can't control this? On top of that my state is almost guaranteed to give the kids to her if we go to court, no matter what kind of a record she has. Honestly what am I supposed to do. I am my children's only ray of light in this dark world and to leave my wife would be to leave my kids in a hopeless situation. So she got on medicine...and it helped. Until she stopped taking it. Sound familiar. She does fine for a month or so and then the mood swings start coming back. So I start watching her medicine. That is when I notice that she isn't taking them. She has quit several times in the past year and a half, and each time she quits it takes a month and a half for the medicines to take hold again. Meaning I'm in for a battle for a lot longer than I want to deal with. But I love her. And I love my kids....The choice is not easy. But I know I'm not alone.

I am now 26 years old and am fed up. Actually I'm so fed up that fed up doesn't even cover it. I'm starting a new business this year. And if I can get my wife to stay on her medicines, I should be able to be back on my feet within a year. I still love my wife and am currently trying to figure out whether to stay or go. I don't want to waste another seven years of my life fighting the same fight. I have goals and dreams. But it seems like my goals and dreams always get put on the back burner just so I can have a fight about why the microwave clock changed to 7:34 faster than the oven clock did. (apparently that was my fault) But then I came across an amazing book recently. I was researching all of this bipolar stuff and a lot of stuff it is. When I stumbled upon "Married to Mania" I read the entire homepage from top to bottom...twice. Elizabeth Atlas is the author. And she has put together an extremely insightful, and totally helpful book, stemming from her own firsthand experience with a husband who was diagnosed with bipolar at middle age. If you feel alone...I promise you, you are not. You can take control of your life again. You can get back that part of you that died when you took on the responsibility of a bipolar spouse. You just have to get your heels dug in and stop letting yourself be walked on. It's hard I know. I go through it even now. Actually she is really bad right now. But I at least have a set of defenses that work.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO FIGHT A LOSING BATTLE!!!!! As mentioned above, the book "Married to Mania" has been crucial to everybody in our position who has read it. It is a priceless weapon in the hands of the spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend facing a relationship with this disorder involved. No matter what you face daily, this is a resource that is truly a must have for anyone attempting a relationship with someone diagnosed with one or several of these types of disorders. If you are in a marriage or relationship anything like mine, please do not pass this book by. If you are a parent of a child who loves someone with these mental illnesses, they need to read this book. YOU ARE HERE FOR A REASON! And that reason being, you are looking for answers that are going to make a difference. This book is truly what you have been looking for. Please, please if you do anything at all to help make things easier to deal with in your relationship, do yourself this favor and don't sell yourself short by not getting this invaluable tool, to be able to better understand and battle from a significant others standpoint. Click this link now, and take back control of your life I promise you won't be disappointed. The book is available immediately for download to your computer so there is no wait in getting the information you are looking for, as well as you will receive a printed version of the book. If you are in position to buy this book, buy the book. It will easily be one of the best choices you will ever make for yourself or your loved one.

Raising kids these days is hard. It's even harder though when one of the parents has a mental disorder. Whether it be bipolar or schizophrenia or any other of a number of disorders, having one parent doing the majority of the work is tough.

I'm going to give a little more background information on my wife's side of the family today. From what I understand, my wife is basically fourth generation bipolar. I guess it started in her great grandmother and every woman in her family has had some form of mental disorder, as well as a few of the guys. Bipolar, schizophrenia, and multiple personality disorders are very common in her side of the family. Not a very good outlook for my children I think, considering these disorders are supposedly inheritable. My oldest daughter just turned 5 a couple of weeks ago, and is and has been exhibiting signs that all may not be well. And I'm worried of what being around their mom is going to do them in the long run.

I feel like we become what our parents model us to be. My mom and dad were very loving and attentive. They took me to the park,and to Chucky Cheese aka Showbiz, They came to my sports games. They were there. They were strict but fair. And I believe that I have become like them just as well. Granted I'm not completely mature yet, but who is. The thing is is that I take time out for them every day. And I have to pick up the slack left by my wife.

Yesterday, my daughter was kinda tired and just wanted some attention from her mom(she wanted to be held). My wife wasn't doing anything, but she told her no and told her to leave her alone. The look that came into my daughters eyes broke my heart and I thought she was gonna cry. I got so pissed off. I didn't say anything right then because I had company over, but later that night I politely told her how I felt about it. And she politely blew me off. This event is what inspired this writing today, and I am still seething inside. Not because of my wife, but because I would have children with a woman who has no real emotions toward her children. It kills me inside knowing that my kids are minus a mom, although she is here. It would honestly be better if she weren't.

I can't blame my wife, for I believe that she is a product of her environment. I believe that her mom was the same way. I think that her mom was probably verbally abusive as well as possibly physically. I just can't understand somebody believing that the way we live is right unless they were raised to live that way. So I honestly believe that my wife acts the way she was taught to act. Her mom is very hard and callous. She has been divorced at least twice that I know of. She is very female dominant or feminist is the word I believe. She is very critical of others, and is generally not happy. She always talks about how alone she is, and yet she tries to tell my wife to do what she does. She used to tell my wife not to cook dinner for me after I had been working for ten to twelve hours a day, not to do my laundry, not to clean the house but to make me do it all. They blame everything on me, of course I know that that's a load of bull. Kinda makes you wonder why she's alone... Anyways, all of this leaves me in a quandary.

Do I stay around and hope for the best, or do I leave my wife and get my kids out of this destructive lifestyle? Any input is appreciated, although I would appreciate if the answers were helpful, coming from parents who have been there.

As always, thank you for visiting. Hope you enjoy.

Michael

Today, May 01, of 2012, is officially my 8th wedding anniversary. My wife and I have officially been separated going on five months now. My children seem to be doing better now that the tension is gone from the house and my girls are at the top of their classes. Dana told me last night that they did there comprehensive testing,and my oldest daughters teacher had put the chart outside the class on the wall, with the students numbers on them instead of their names. She said said of the numbers were in the low range, some in the middle and some in the high range. Then she said up off the charts towards the ceiling was a single number. Dana asked my daughter who's number that was, and she replied that's me mom. Makes me very happy in these dark times to know they are flourishing. My son is smart and strong and just turned four recently. Handsome and funny, he is a mini me, lol... He's definitely my lil man, eager and curious, and soft and gentle yet strong. He has a heart of pure gold, and at his young age already knows genuine remorse, when he hurts someone. Such a beautiful spirited group of children for the fights and other negative actions they have known. I truly believe they will recover from the issues that have been caused in their lives. I'm actively involved with them and that helps in big ways i think.

Dana, herself has come a long way on her own. She does excellent with the kids, and for that I am grateful. Our separation took place after, she became violent with me again. There were good times in between my last post, but mostly the atmosphere has been strained and tense. Life has become pretty overwhelming as of late, I have my house but I am alone. The pain of the past haunts me daily, but I am working through it. For the first time in ten yrs I am truly alone, broken inside for waiting so long to leave a relationship that promised nothing but pain and heartache in the end. I've lost more than I've gained I feel although, my life is evidently more peaceful being separated. Dana and I get along for the most part, give or take a few bad days here and there when stress piles up on the both of us.

I don't know where my road leads from here, but I am seeing a therapist, for my brokenness and trust issues. I am learning to be alone and to be content with it. And in that hopefully i can move on with my life and be happy in the future. Love isn't easy and it takes true love to stick by a person who has problems. Finding an understanding for the person you love and understanding their problems and what they deal with and go through is essential. Once you have done that, and I mean truly have done that, can you truly say you did everything you could. I did everything I could, I could never get close to her though. To any of you that have gone through this, I wish you the utmost luck. I 'm learning that not all people are like this and there are others out there who the stress and tension will not be present with... It's just learning to trust again that's hard.

Many readers that find this lens, ask about the cheating that goes on in their relationship. They want to know if it will ever stop, how to stop it, how to accept it, etc... The problem is, is once that trust is broken, it is truly hard to get it back. Once you have been burned and lied to, finding that confidence in what your spouse says is almost impossible to find again. My marriage saw years of cheating, lying, heartache and pain. Always there was the false promises that it wouldn't happen again, the promises that things would change. Well after ten long years, things have truly changed. We have been separated for almost 8 months now, still trying to get past fighting when I'm over to see the children. It's amazing to me that a person who claims to love you can be cruel and mean and say heartless things in front of our children. The cheating stopped about 2 years ago after my wife slept with someone I have no liking for and pretty much an enemy. Spouses suffering from these mental illnesses really just don't care. If they wanted to change and make things better, in my opinion they would.

From a Christian perspective, someone asked about what to do after their spouse cheated on them. I pose this answer to any of you who are wondering what to do. According to the Bible, in marriage adultery is a deal breaker. Short of death do you part, this is the only legal loophole for divorce from a spouse, without consequences from God's standpoint. With that being said, I will ask these questions of you who read this. Why did they cheat? Do you have children with this person? Can you get past being cheated on? Has it happened more than once, and if so are you prepared for the long road of recovery to attempt to trust again? Have you cheated on them? Is everything else falling apart in your marriage? I personally don't condone divorce as I was raised against it. I put in several long hard years myself in an adulterous relationship on both of our parts. And in the end, knowing I should have walked away years ago, many years ago, I am now separated and on my way to divorce.

The cheating can stop, but the road to finding trust with a person who has proven that they can and will hurt you, is a hard road to travel. You will always question if what they tell you or where they tell you they are is truth. In the back of your mind you are always gonna have that fear that they are with someone else. Ultimately if you have given and given and given, and all they have done in return is hurt you 75% or more of the time, I would say it's time to move on to a new life and leave the pain and regret behind. There are still good people out there looking for someone to love, and staying in a relationship that is dragging you down, ruining your life is a mistake.

All in all, many factors come into play when it comes down to divorce. If you believe and I mean truly without doubt believe your partner wants to change and is making every effort to do so and you love that person, then by all means try again. If you get burned again, get out and don't waste any more time with someone selfish enough to put their hurtful needs ahead of yours time and time again. No one is going to give you a medal for going through hell. Honestly what those around you are doing is shaking their heads saying, why does he/she put up with that. No one is going to say job well done for getting hurt over and over again. I know because I have been there. Instead by being strong enough to say enough is enough, your friends and family will say welcome back, we have missed you.

Walking on eggshells and being broken on the inside isn't love. Being cheated on isn't love. And allowing yourself to be abused over and over, definitely isn't love. Examine your situation as if your life depended on it. Weigh the pros and cons of your relationship and decide if you are going to face more harm or find happiness. For me personally, life never changed. The only thing that stayed the same was the fact that I didn't know when all hell was going to break loose, or when she was going to slip up again. I'm 29 now, older and wiser, and I've been through mental, emotional and physical abuse. It won't ever ever happen to me again, regardless of how much I love someone. I won't be taken for a fool any longer and abused by anyone.

Everything can change, the big question is will it? Only you know what you have been through, and only you know what and how much more you can take. Don't let yourself get to the point of being a cracked and broken human being, full of trust issues caused by someone with psychotic tendencies. Remember, you are the clear thinking individual, and if you are being hurt by someone like this, issue an ultimatum immediately. Let them know that if they keep up, you are gone, completely gone. Restraining order gone. You deserve better than the heartache you face daily. Don't screw yourself out of a better life by thinking yourself noble by sticking by someone who can't truly love you because they don't even know how to love themselves. I hope this helps, and my thoughts and prayers go out to all of you who face these issues, as I know and have first hand experience of what you are facing right now.

If someone suffering from bipolar isn't on medicine and is able to control there emotions while at work and elsewhere with no problem. Why can't they control themselves around the people that love them the most?

I want to make clear first off that I am not a health professional nor will I claim to understand these occurrences completely. What I will say, is that I am married to someone who deals with several types of Mental Disorders. Including severe Bipolar, Bi Personality Disorder, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The information provided will be clearly sourced as to not cause controversy with any other websites. The information provided is to give a better education and awareness to those who don't quite understand what these Disorders are or do. The information stated is for Non Profit, and to be used as a guide to Mental Health Disorders and any areas included that I think might be relevant.

Bipolar disorder is a serious illness. It can make a person's normal moods seem extreme. It used to be called manic depression.

People with bipolar disorder have mood swings. Their moods can swing from very low (depression) to very high (mania). Bipolar disorder sometimes is confused with other types of depression.

Types of mood episodes

In bipolar disorder, or manic depression, each mood swing is called an "episode." There are 4 main types of mood episodes that people with bipolar disorder can have:

* Depression - Depression is when people with bipolar disorder feel very sad. Sometimes this can go on for a long period of time. They may not even want to get out of bed or eat. They don't enjoy doing things they used to do.
* Mania - Mania is the other side of bipolar disorder. Mania may start with a good feeling, almost like a "high." Or it may make a person feel very irritable and angry. People with mania may do very risky things.
* Hypomania - Hypomania is a milder form of mania. It can make people feel good. They may think they are getting more things done. But the "feel good" stage can change into mania or depression. Hypomania is different from mania because it doesn't get in the way of things like work or family. It sometimes is not even noticed as a problem.
* Mixed mood - This is when feelings of mania and depression go back and forth quickly, sometimes even in the same day.

With all types of extreme mood episodes, people are at risk for suicide.

Bipolar disorder, sometimes called manic depression, can be hard to detect because the symptoms can be similar to other mood disorders. Some people have the condition for 10 years or more before a healthcare provider diagnoses it.

The reason for this might have to do with the symptoms. When people are feeling manic or hypomanic, they are full of energy. They usually feel good. They feel "high on life" and don't always seek help.

On the other hand, people are more likely to seek help when they fall into depression. When people feel depressed, they are likely to describe only depression symptoms to their healthcare provider. They may not mention the times when they are feeling "high on life," since depression is what they are feeling at the time. Therefore, it's common for a person to be incorrectly diagnosed with major depression instead of bipolar disorder.

In fact, nearly half of all patients who have bipolar disorder, sometimes called manic depression, will first be diagnosed with major depression. That's why it's important for people to say how they've been feeling weeks and even months before the day they talk to their healthcare provider in order to make it easier for the right diagnosis.

Many of the signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder can also be associated with other illnesses, such as anxiety disorders and schizophrenia. This can make it even harder for a healthcare provider to make a correct diagnosis.

There are 4 main types of bipolar disorder:

* Bipolar I Disorder - In this type, you have had at least one episode of mania or mixed mood and often experience depression too. In between, your mood may be normal. Sometimes your mood swings happen when the seasons change.
* Bipolar II Disorder - In this type, you have had at least one episode of depression and at least one period of hypomania. Hypomania is a milder form of mania. In between, your mood may be normal. Sometimes your mood swings happen when the seasons change.
* Cyclothymic Disorder - This is a milder form of bipolar disorder. You may go back and forth between mild depression and a slightly elevated mood. But your mood swings are shorter and less severe. Many people with cyclothymic disorder go on to have a stronger type of bipolar disorder. This doesn't happen to everyone, though.
* Bipolar Disorder Not Otherwise Specified - This type of bipolar disorder is when you do not fit into the types mentioned above. The feelings of bipolar disorder vary from person to person.

Some people have what is called "rapid-cycling bipolar disorder." This means they have had 4 or more periods of mania and/or depression in a year.

Causes and Risk Factors

Scientists don't really know what causes bipolar disorder, sometimes called manic depression. They do think that family history plays a role. Most people with bipolar disorder have a relative with the same condition or with some other mood disorder.

But family history alone does not cause someone to have bipolar disorder. We don't yet know what those other things are.
This is what we DO know about bipolar disorder:

* Bipolar disorder most often starts in teenagers and young adults. But it also can occur in children and older adults.
* Bipolar disorder equally affects people of all races and backgrounds.
* Special chemicals in the brain may be involved. If the levels of these chemicals are out of balance, it may be harder for brain cells to work as they should.
* Bipolar disorder also could be connected to hormone levels. Hormones are chemicals in the body that do certain things. Experts have noticed a link between thyroid hormone levels and bipolar disorder.
* Also, certain parts of the brain may have a different size or shape in people with bipolar disorder. The changes could be a cause or symptom of the illness.
* In some cases, other illnesses may play a role in bipolar disorder.

People with bipolar disorder may find that their mood swings are triggered by things that happen in their life. Unpleasant, sad, or even happy events can make a time of depression or mania more likely.

Triggers, also called stressors, are anything that may help cause a mood swing. Not everyone's triggers are the same.
Some common triggers of bipolar mood swings include:

* Not having a regular sleep schedule
* Misusing alcohol or drugs
* Stopping your medicine
* Starting medicines for depression (in some cases), or other medicines and herbal products
* Having thyroid problems and other medical conditions

Some people find that triggers can be things like:

* Seasonal changes
* Holidays
* Illness
* Disagreements with family or friends
* Problems at work
* The death of a loved one
* Marriage
* Starting college
* Starting a new job

Keeping track of moods and triggers

It's important to figure out what your own triggers are. One way to do this is to keep a diary of your moods or a Mood Chart. A mood chart is a way to record your emotions over time and a list of events in your life.

After you keep a mood chart for a while, you or your healthcare provider may start to notice patterns. For instance, you may seem to get depressed when you're away from home. Or you may feel manic when the school year begins.

Figuring out your triggers on your own can be tough. It may help to ask your trusted friends and family what they think your triggers are.

Also, seeing a healthcare provider or therapist and discussing your mood chart can help you figure out your triggers. Talking to an expert may help you see things more clearly.
Avoiding triggers

Once you figure out what tends to trigger your mood swings, the next step is to learn how to avoid these things when you can.

For instance, you may notice that consistently not getting enough sleep can lead to mood swings. In that case, you could try to plan a better sleep schedule.

You also may want to talk about your triggers with family and friends. That way, they can help you avoid your triggers, too.

Myths and Facts

Myth: Nothing can be done to manage bipolar disorder.
Fact: Bipolar disorder can't be cured, but there are ways to help control it. These include medicine, talk therapy (psychotherapy), and learning more about the condition so you can take care of yourself.

Myth: Bipolar disorder is easy to diagnose.
Fact: Bipolar disorder is not always easy to diagnose. It may be mistaken for other conditions. There are many reasons why diagnosing bipolar disorder is hard. Sometimes it's the way that people describe the way they're feeling. Sometimes it has to do with the type of mood they experience most often.

Myth: People who have bipolar disorder spend their lives in psychiatric hospitals.
Fact: Most people with bipolar disorder are treated outside of a hospital and have productive lives. Sometimes people go to a hospital for a short time if they have serious depression or mania.

Myth: People with bipolar disorder can't hold down a job.
Fact: With proper treatment, people with bipolar disorder can be good workers. They can live normal lives.

Myth: Once bipolar disorder is controlled, people can stop their medicine.
Fact: Treatment of bipolar disorder is usually lifelong. Unless a healthcare provider says it's okay, people shouldn't stop medicine just because they are feeling better. Medicine can continue to keep the condition controlled.

Myth: Bipolar symptoms are always triggered by some event.
Fact: Symptoms of bipolar disorder are often triggered by a stressful event, but not always. Sometimes mood swings happen without any obvious triggers.

Some common beliefs about bipolar disorder aren't always true. It's good to know the difference between fact and myth. That's one important step in managing bipolar disorder.

Source taken from "www.bipolar.com"

Treatment Options

The first medical breakthrough in treating bipolar disorder came in the 1950s. Today, there are many medicines and other ways to manage bipolar disorder. People with bipolar disorder hold jobs, raise families, and live full lives.

Treatment for bipolar disorder can vary. What works for one person may not work for someone else. That's why it's very important to work with your healthcare provider to find a treatment or a combination of treatments that work for you.

There are 3 basic parts of treatment for bipolar disorder. They are medicine, therapy, and learning more about the condition so you can take care of yourself.

Medicines

Bipolar disorder medicines may be used alone or with others. Some medicines may take time to start working. Types of bipolar disorder medicines include:

* Mood stabilizers. These may delay or relieve episodes of mania (highs) or depression (lows). They can help people go longer between mood episodes.
* Antidepressants. These are often used with a mood stabilizer in people with depressive episodes. If used alone, antidepressants may increase the chances of a person with bipolar disorder switching into mania.
* Antipsychotics. These are medicines that are mostly used to treat mania. They may also be used to treat psychosis that can occur during severe episodes of mania or depression. Patients with severe anxiety or agitation may also receive antipsychotics. Antipsychotics may be used alone or with other medicines for treating bipolar disorder.
* Other medicines might be suggested by the healthcare provider when a person with bipolar disorder cannot sleep or feels nervous.
* Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is not a medicine. It is a medical treatment used to help people with severe mania or depression. It can also help people who do not do well with medicine.

Expert treatment guidelines

The American Psychiatric Association has guidelines for managing bipolar disorder symptoms. The guidelines recommend using medicine to treat short-term symptoms (like antidepressants) along with medicine that can be taken for the long term (like mood stabilizers).

The goals of bipolar disorder treatment are:

* To control symptoms of depression and mania
* To reduce the number of times that moods go up and down
* To help people with bipolar disorder feel the best they can
* To reduce lesser bipolar symptoms that still could be a problem
* To reduce side effects of bipolar disorder treatment

How bipolar disorder medicine can help

The right bipolar disorder medication can help keep moods from swinging too far. It's not a guarantee that all of the problems of bipolar disorder will be solved. But it can help people gain control over their symptoms and manage problems better.

During mood episodes, people with bipolar disorder can experience certain problems. These problems can have to do with thinking, emotions, and physical well-being. These problems can affect their ability to function. It may impact the lives of their families.

Medicine can be used to help people go longer between episodes of depression or mania. This can help make life more normal for people with bipolar disorder.

Here's how to get the most from your bipolar disorder medicine

* Take your medicine every day as directed, even if you have no symptoms.
* Use a mood chart to keep track of how you're feeling and talk about this with your healthcare provider.

Here are some ways to help remember to take your bipolar disorder medicine:

* Write down your medicine and when to take it. Put this somewhere you'll see it every day.
* Use a pillbox to organize your medicine.
* Put up a calendar to help remember what medicine to take and when to take it.

Why it's important to keep taking your medicine

Bipolar disorder is a lifelong medical condition. It isn't a character flaw or a sign of weakness. People with other medical conditions - such as diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol - often need to take medicine for the long term. People with bipolar disorder can benefit from taking medicine for the long term, too. This can help make their moods more normal. It also may keep the illness from getting worse.
Don't be discouraged if you don't see results right away

Medicines may not make people feel better right away. They often take time to work completely. Sometimes a medicine must be started at a lower dose and increased over time to be effective.

Medicines can sometimes cause side effects. In that case, the healthcare provider may either reduce the dose or prescribe another medicine.

Therapy

Talk therapy is also called psychotherapy. Talk therapy means talking with a professional about yourself, your situation, and your health. It can help you learn how to make sense of your thoughts and feelings.

Talk therapy is not about getting all the answers or advice. It is a way to learn more about yourself. It can help you get information, support, and honest feedback. This is done within a safe and private setting.

There are different types of talk therapy sessions.

* Some are one-on-one, with just you and a counselor.
* Others are in group settings.
* Some types provide education and support.
* Others focus on learning about yourself or your relationships with others.

Talk therapy can be an important part of controlling symptoms. It can help you regain confidence in yourself and reduce the strain that bipolar disorder can put on relationships.
Getting the most from talk therapy

* Read and learn about bipolar disorder.
* Keep your visits.
* Ask questions if you don't understand something.
* Be open and honest.

Take an Active Role

Taking an active role in managing bipolar disorder is important. Here are some things you can do that may help:

* Read and learn about bipolar disorder.
* Track your moods and symptoms.
* Try to learn what triggers your mood episodes and avoid those things.
* Keep a list of questions to ask your healthcare provider.
* Talk with your healthcare provider about joining a support group.

Wellness Checklist

If you have bipolar disorder, a Wellness Checklist can help you care for yourself. Use this Wellness Checklist to keep track of the following:
Talk to your counselor or healthcare provider regularly.
Keep all of your appointments.
Take your medicine exactly as prescribed.
Spend talking and listening time with a friend.
Do exercises that help you relax, focus, and reduce stress.
Participate in fun activities.
Record your thoughts and feelings in a journal.
Create a daily planning calendar.
Avoid street drugs and alcohol.
Make sure you spend some time outdoors every day.
Improve your diet. Avoid caffeine, sugar, and heavily salted foods.
Attend a local support group regularly if your healthcare provider
agrees.

Click here for printer-friendly Wellness Checklist.
Mood Chart

A good way to manage bipolar disorder is to keep track of how you're feeling. To do it right, you need a sense of how things are going.

Creating a written record is a good way to see things clearly. You will also learn how the patterns and events in your life affect bipolar disorder.

Clinical Trials

Clinical trials are research studies that help healthcare providers find better ways to manage diseases. Clinical trials can be sponsored by doctors, medical groups, federal agencies, pharmaceutical companies, and other organizations.
How clinical trials work

A new treatment is usually tested in laboratories and then on animals. If these tests show the treatment seems safe and may be effective, it is then tested in humans through clinical trials.

If the clinical trials confirm the safety and effectiveness of the new treatment, it can be approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Then it can be made available to patients.

The Stanley Medical Research Institute is a nonprofit organization. It supports research to find better treatments for bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses.
Finding a clinical trial

* The clinical trials supported by the Stanley Medical Research Institute are listed in a special section of the institute's Web site.
* A listing of clinical trials, searchable by topic and by the U.S. state where they are being conducted, can be found at www.clinicaltrials.gov.

If you are interested in participating in a clinical trial for bipolar disorder, it's a good idea to discuss this with your healthcare provider.

Talking with Your Healthcare Provider

Regular medical visits are important if you have bipolar disorder. So is open and honest communication with your healthcare provider. You and your healthcare provider should work together as partners in your care.

Your condition can affect your mood, and your healthcare provider needs to hear how you are feeling. He or she may need to change the amount or type of medicine you're using from time to time.

Ask about your condition and the medicine your healthcare provider prescribes. Make sure you understand when to take your medicine. Know what the possible side effects are. Ask about any medicines or treatments that you think might help you.

* Learn about the Types of Healthcare Providers/Therapists who treat bipolar disorder.
* Discussion Points lists ways to talk with your healthcare provider about bipolar disorder treatment.
* Finding a Healthcare Provider/Therapist shows how to connect with someone who can help.

Source taken from bipolar.com

Types of Healthcare Providers/Therapists

There are many types of experts who can help people with bipolar disorder, sometimes called manic depression. It's a good idea to pick someone who is experienced. You should feel comfortable with him or her. You may want to talk with more than one person before making your choice.

Healthcare providers who can help people with bipolar disorder include:

* Psychiatrists - These are medical doctors who specialize in the diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of mental and emotional problems. They can prescribe medicines. A psychiatrist may or may not provide therapies such as "talk therapy." In illnesses such as bipolar disorder, the formal diagnosis and treatment plan usually is made by a psychiatrist.

* Psychologists - These are healthcare professionals with an advanced academic degree called a PhD. Psychologists deal with the diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of mental and emotional problems. A psychologist usually uses non-medical therapies, such as "talk therapy," to treat bipolar disorder.

* Psychiatric Advanced Practice Nurses - These are registered nurses (RNs) who have completed additional education and training to specialize in psychiatric and mental health care. They can provide talk therapy (psychotherapy) and prescribe medicine.

* Nurse Practitioners (NPs) - These are registered nurses (RNs) who have completed additional courses and special training. Nurse practitioners can work with or without the supervision of a physician. They can help with the diagnosis and treatment of patients. In many states they may write prescriptions.

* Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSWs) - These are trained and state-licensed social workers. They provide various types of counseling and support.

* Psychopharmacologists - These are medical doctors trained to study the effect of medicine on the mind and behavior.

Source taken from Bipolar.com

When someone close to you has bipolar disorder, it can be very hard. Helping to care for the person takes time, patience, and understanding.

At times you may feel like you are responsible for making this person well, but you're not. Your support is just one part of this person's treatment.

To help, it's important that you learn all you can about bipolar disorder, sometimes called bipolar depression. Your knowledge of the illness and how it is treated can make a difference. It can give your loved one a unique, personal, and loving source of support.

How to help someone.

For families and friends, a diagnosis of bipolar disorder can be hard to accept. But it also can be a relief. Finally, a reason for the mood swings has been identified. Treatment can begin.

It's important for people with bipolar disorder to be active in their own care. But your support also can be valuable in helping them feel better.

Your help can make a difference.

Here are some things you can do to help:

* Learn about bipolar disorder, its causes, and its treatment. Talk with the person's healthcare provider, if possible.
* Learn to recognize the warning signs of depression (low moods) and mania (high moods). You may notice the symptoms before the patient does. If you notice symptoms, talk to the patient in a caring manner. Suggest a visit to a healthcare provider.
* Encourage the patient to stay with treatment. Sometimes treatment doesn't seem to be helping, or side effects may be severe. In that case, encourage the patient to talk to the healthcare provider. If things still don't get better, you may want to suggest that the patient get a second opinion.
* Work with the patient to help him or her keep healthcare provider appointments. Help make a list of the patient's healthcare providers, phone numbers, and medicines. This should include the name of the medicine, how much to take, when to take it, how to take it, and what it treats.
* Help monitor medicine use. It can be dangerous to stop or restart a medicine without a healthcare provider's advice.
* Use of alcohol and street drugs can make symptoms worse. Help the patient understand the dangers.
* Sometimes a patient may feel that your concern is interference. This can especially happen during a mood episode. Remember that this is not a rejection of you. It is most likely part of the illness.
* Do things with, rather than for, a person recovering from an episode.
* Consider using times when moods are stable to discuss and develop safety plans. These could include hospitalization or withholding credit cards, car keys, or banking privileges. But keep in mind that during an episode, the patient may not follow the agreement.

Bipolar disorder is a lifelong condition. But with appropriate treatment, there is hope. Your support can make a big difference.

A treatment contract may help

For family members and friends, a "Treatment Contract" can be a good way to support a person with bipolar disorder. The contract is a written agreement of steps to take to help someone with bipolar disorder.

In the contract, the person with bipolar disorder agrees to give you permission to carry out instructions for treatment. This happens if bipolar symptoms make it difficult for the person to take care of himself or herself. Both you and the person with bipolar disorder would agree as to when, where, and how these instructions are to be carried out.

The Harvard Bipolar Research Program provides a downloadable treatment contract that you can print and fill out. You also could create a treatment contract yourself.

How much help is too much?

Am I being protective - or overprotective? Should I pay off credit card debts from a spending spree? Which of my actions will help and which will hurt?

These are hard questions. The answers may be very different from person to person and family to family.

Some people caring for loved ones with bipolar disorder can benefit from counseling or support groups. The stress on you can be very great. Find out how others are dealing with similar questions. Learn about what might work for you. Consider talking to your healthcare provider.

Your help is important. But encourage the person to take an active role in his or her treatment. Encourage self-care!

If the person becomes violent or suicidal, call 911 to get help right away.

Helping Yourself

Helping to care for someone with bipolar disorder can be hard. It can be challenging to find the time, energy, and patience. It's important to realize you can be supportive while still caring for yourself.

Remember that you are not alone. Success stories from others show that bipolar disorder doesn't have to ruin lives or relationships. Find ways to take care of yourself. This can help you stay healthy and enjoy your life.

Your support system
Find ways to support yourself even while you are helping someone else. Consider the following:

* Stay connected with the healthcare provider or therapist. If the person you are caring for gives permission, the healthcare provider or therapist may be willing to talk with you about your concerns.
* Share the care. If it is okay with the person who has bipolar disorder, find someone to help. That way, you are not responsible for every detail of caring for someone with bipolar disorder. Maybe someone the person trusts, such as a sibling, adult child, or close friend, can help.
* Consider joining a support group. Share your experiences, hopes, and failures with others who care for people with bipolar disorder. This may help you deal with your own concerns. Click here to find a list of resources.
* Consider talking with a therapist yourself. Counseling may help you feel better.
* Plan activities just for yourself. Go to lunch with a friend. See a movie with family members. Set up a regular time to go to the gym. Or just take a walk in the park and enjoy the day.
* Have a list of people you can call for support. Include people you meet through support groups, close friends or family, clergy, your healthcare provider, or therapist.
* Look for additional resources through employee health benefits. If you or the person with bipolar disorder works, there may be special support resources as part of the employee health benefits. Talk with a human resources representative at work to find out what is available.

One of the ways you can help someone with bipolar disorder is by taking care of yourself and your own needs as well.

Finally, don't take on too much. It's not healthy for you. It's not healthy for the person with bipolar disorder either. Talk with your loved one about how important it is to have a network of trusted friends and family who can help.

Source taken from Bipolar.com

Currently I am working to provide a list of quality links to sites with all sorts of information on bipolar. This will probably take a few days but more is coming.

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