Bipolar Disorder And Me - Two Bears and a Lady

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Bipolar Disorder And Me -Two Bears And A Lady

Bipolar, two polar bears, get it? I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder around a year ago, but looking back I've shown symptoms of it since about age 11. I am now 28. I tend to deal with it and talk about it with humor as you can tell from the playful nature of my lens title. I am not ashamed that I have bipolar disorder, and I don't think it's some deep dark secret I should hide:no good can come from that.

"This is me, I have Bipolar Disorder, but it won't define me!"

What is Bipolar Disorder? 

Who does it affect?

bipolar disorder
Bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression, is a brain disorder that causes dramatic shifts in a person's energy level, mood and ability to function on a day to day basis. The severity of the symptoms and how often they occur vary from person to person. Bipolar Disorder can negatively affect relationships and job performance, and can increase the chance of suicide. Bipolar disorder effects men, women, teens, and can even affect children. It is not known for sure what causes bipolar disorder, but it is believed to be a combination of hereditary predisposition to the disorder and environmental factors. Bipolar disorder is normally a lifelong battle where people with the disorder have to consistently be aware of moods, sleep patterns, stress, diet, and energy levels so that medication can be adjusted and a level mood can be achieved and maintained. People without bipolar disorder have ups and downs, but they don't experience the extreme ups or extreme downs that people with bipolar disorder experience.



A Poem About Living With Bipolar Disorder 

Riding the kite of manic depression

I fly high like a kite on a windy day
Winding and twirling
Going end over end
Higher, faster
Weeeeee look at me
I go go go
Up up up

The thunderstorm begins
The rain beats down on me
I spiral downward
Faster and faster
The wind sends me out of control
All hope for me is gone
I crash and fall to pieces

By Crystal Touchton

Symptoms Of Mania 

manic- an extreme happy mood, elation that is uninfluenced by any sort of bad news
- sudden or extreme irritability
- increased activity and energy levels
- rapid speech that increases in volume and speed , and can become incoherent at times
- racing thoughts and ideas
- ambitious to a fault
-taking risks
- impulsive behaviors including substance abuse, sex, and spending money
- decreased sleep with increased energy
- delusions

A Poem About Mania 

Just a little pill

A little itty bitty pill will save me
If I take it every day
Easy enough, huh
No, it's not that easy
Do you know how hard it is to swallow
When you feel on top of the world
I feel so good, why take something that'll make that go away
Who wants to be even when you can be up
I know I don't
I will not take that pill as little as it may be
I will not let it save me
Save me from what?
What's wrong with feeling good
When I was sad for so long
Doesn't the world owe me some happiness anyway?
Who am I hurting anyway?
It's my body, it's my life
If you could feel like this wouldn't you?
If you could sustain this high wouldn't you?
You know you would
Leave me alone and let me fly

By Crystal Touchton

Symptoms Of Depression 

depressed- extreme sadness
- guilt
- loneliness
- loss of interest in activities that were once important
- decreased energy
- unable to make decisions or concentrate
- restlessness
- feeling anxious and worried
- hopelessness
- change in eating habits
- change in sleeping pattern

A Poem About Depression 

A Depressive Mind

depressed
Everything in the world seems so alive
Yet I'm dead inside
Dark and deadly are the thoughts
That haunt me daily
Tear stained eyes look back at me
When I stare into a mirror
I don't know who I am
Where did I go?
No one can save me
From the hell I must exist in
I created it inside my head
to punish myself for sins unknown
Sins unspoken, sins all my own
My sad existence is fading
with every passing moment
My mind is eating my life
Slowly eroding my self worth
Everything seems so damn fast
My mind can't keep up
The world speeds by me like I'm on heroine
And it's shooting up coke
The air feels so damp and thick
I try to breath but only choke
Damn this fight that refuses to end
Is the end my only friend?

By: Crystal Touchton

Mixed Episodes Of Bipolar Disorder

There can also be mixed episodes. During mixed episodes people have symptoms of both mania and depression at the same time.

How Bipolar Disorder Affects Me And My Loved Ones 

It effects everyone

Subject To Mood SwingsThis disorder affects every aspect of my life from my friendships, to relationships with family and friends, right down to everyday tasks. I have always been moody and I have never dealt with strong emotions very effectively. From as far back as I can remember that has just been part of my personality. It is difficult for me to communicate verbally when I'm upset, so I'm usually misunderstood or misinterpreted, or I react more aggressively than I should. I am very loving and caring, but it is a chore to be close to me. My changes in moods are difficult to deal with on a good day, and on a bad they are impossible. I have a short attention span and it is hard for me to complete everyday tasks sometimes. I rarely complete a project I start, and I make poor decisions when things are not just right with my treatment. I am very aware of all of these things and I do my best to prevent problems. I think this puts me somewhat ahead of the game.

What Bipolar Disorder Can Do To A Person 

Hitting rock bottom


rock bottomWhen I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder I had hit rock bottom with my moods. I was having mixed episodes. When they were not mixed, I was rapid cycling ( switching from mania to depression every few days). I had and still do have 2 children, my house was a mess, I was an emotional wreck and there was no explanation. One day while my husband was at work I decided to try and find the help I desperately needed. I called our local mental health hospital and was referred to a clinic where was told I may qualify for treatment on a sliding scale based on income. This was an answer to my prayers. I made myself an appointment through tears and when the day came for the appointment, tears ran down my face the entire time I was at the first appointment (which was to do paperwork).

Getting Help For Bipolar disorder 

An answer Is Found

Photobucket
On my second appointment I sat in a waiting room, my infant son in his carrier staring up at me, looking around at the other people there. I sat silently wondering if I appeared as disturbed as I felt and if I were really like the others I waited next to. Tears started to pour down my face as I thought about how my family deserved better and about how I wished my boys had a better mother. I felt so ashamed and alone sitting there in a room full of strangers. Waiting there with my youngest son, I tried to stop crying, but it was impossible. I cried throughout my whole appointment, just as I am now remembering that day and that time in my life. I saw a nurse first and I just poured my heart out to him. I was a blubbering mess by the time I spoke with the doctor that day. I don't recall just what I said, but I vaguely remember him telling me that he thought I had bipolar Disorder and he explained a little about it to me. I left that day with a new medication and an appointment for the following week.

"

"Bipolar Disorder Demystified:The Tightrope of manic depression " 

A book that helped me get my life back

I went right to the bookstore determined to get more information on a disorder I had some knowledge of from my time as a correctional officer. I found a wonderful book that helped me get my life back, "Bipolar Disorder Demystified:The Tightrope of manic depression " By Lana R Castle. I bought this book after scouring bookshelves and browsing through tons of books. I chose it, impart, because Lana R. Castle has bipolar disorder and I trusted that she knew what I was going through. Sometimes it's hard to trust people who do not have a mood disorder because you know they do not know what you are going through and if they don't know that, then how can they help?

Bipolar Disorder Demystified: Mastering the Tightrope of Manic Depression

Amazon Price: $12.44 (as of 12/04/2009)Buy Now
List Price: $15.95
Used Price: $0.67

If you or a family member have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder then I highly recommend this book.

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A New Woman 

Or so I thought

I followed directions and by the time I went back to his office I was a different woman. I was in a dress instead of sweats, I was smiling instead of crying, I was ME. I left that day feeling positive and happy, but that was too easy. I had a terrible reaction to this medicine. By the time I went back, only two weeks later, I had scratched sores all over my body, I was twitchy, uncomfortable, and was back to the crying. I was allergic to this medicine and had a reaction the doctor had never even heard of with this medicine: my skin was crawling. I was dying on the inside, but he assured me that we would try another one after this one was out of my system.

Still Learning To Minimize The Effects Of Bipolar Disorder 

An Ongoing Battle


learning I started the new medicine and quickly improved. I gradually learned how to adjust my meds according to my mood cycles . I am still learning how to get and stay even. I still have times where I ignore my needs and I forget to monitor my moods, sleep, food.... When I get too busy living, my life is momentarily taken away again until I can get readjusted. It is an ongoing battle and I know it will never end, but it is a battle that I am winning most of the time.

There Is Hope, You Are Not Alone

If you or someone you love is experiencing the symptoms of Bipolar Disorder, have been diagnosed with or know someone who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and is not receiving treatment, please seek help. You don't have to go at it alone, you are not alone!

A Video About Living With Bipolar Disorder 

By: jadekat1 ( Carrie) on Youtube

An excellent video explaining Bipolar Disorder and how it affects people with Bipolar Disorder and their Families.

powered by Youtube

Resources, Information, And Blogs About Bipolar Disorder 

You are not alone

terrific things about people with bipolar disorder
Need a positive or two?
National Alliance on Mental Illness
NAMI has tons of information and resources available for people with mental health disorders and their family and friends.
Bipolar disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Wiki says.....
Bipolar disorder - MayoClinic.com
Bipolar disorder - Comprehensive overview covers symptoms, causes and treatment of this mood instability disorder.
Bipolar.com - Home
Bipolar disorder support and information brought to you by GlaxoSmithKline.
Bipolar Disorder News, Information and Support - Pendulum.org
Manic Depression, Bipolar Disorder, News, Support Forums, Information and Resources.
Since 1994, Pendulum Resources has been the web's premier consumer Bipolar Disorder resource site
Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: Bipolar Disorder Information
OverviewDepressionBipolar disorderAnxietyScreening CenterMood disorders & other illnessesSleep as a symptom Helping someone with a mood disorderFAQsStatisticsPublicationsNational initiatives for mental health
Discover how DBSA has impacted the lives of individuals living with mood
Top Ten Bipolar Blogs | World of Psychology
Since 1991, I've been indexing and reviewing online resources. Yes, that was before the web became popularized and long before Yahoo and others. People needed a
Bipolar Disorder Support Group - DailyStrength
 Support for people with bipolar disorder

A Playful Warning I Love To Give People

"I'm Bipolar, I'm gonna switch poles on you in a minute."

My Other Bipolar Disorder Lenses 

My Other Bipolar Disorder And Mental Health Lenses

 

Secret of Health- Buddha

Tell me what you think or share your experiences 

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  • Reply
    christy curiel christy curiel Nov 9, 2009 @ 8:50 am
    thanks for your information I found it very helpful I would like for you to be my friend I have had bipolar for years and the doctors still cant get my meds straight I just got out of the hospital and it still has not helped so maybe a friend would help thanks bye
  • Reply
    natnickeep natnickeep Nov 6, 2009 @ 11:11 pm
    This was a wonderful lens! I love the poetry and humor added into what is really useful information. Something like this may make it easier for people to talk about or think about. I sometimes wonder if I might be bi polar. It seems like it is more common than we realize. I can't wait to get off to reading some of your other lenses! 5* for sure.
  • Reply
    theherbivorehippie theherbivorehippie Nov 6, 2009 @ 10:54 pm
    What an awesome lens! You always 'hear' about Bipolar is but no one ever explains honesty about the ups and downs first hand. I wrote a huge paper on this back in school and I think I just learned more from your lens then I did from tons of research. Thanks for your honesty. Great job! (and thank you for blessing my lens you visited today...such an honor!)
  • Reply
    BizGuides BizGuides Oct 31, 2009 @ 2:09 pm
    Extremely Informative and Helpful. Thanks BG
  • Reply
    debnet debnet Oct 18, 2009 @ 2:42 am
    Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. I can see why you want this to be LOTD... ans so it should. Thank goodness you were able to acknowledge the fact that you needed help. I hope the future is more even for you... adn those around you! :)
    Congratulations on your Angel wings and thank you for the blessing you gave to 'When Debbie Met Tony' :)
  • Reply
    grannysage grannysage Oct 17, 2009 @ 6:09 pm
    What a courageous lens. You are right not to be ashamed of having this disorder. You are Not your disease. There is still a stigma attached to mental illness, but there shouldn't be. It is no different from having diabetes or a heart condition. it is a medical condition that needs to be treated.

    Thanks for standing up and telling your story. And the lens is beautiful and very informative! You are really helping a lot of people with this. And don't forget to take your medicine!!!

    Big hugs and 5*
  • Reply
    24websurf 24websurf Oct 14, 2009 @ 9:24 pm
    I have stayed away from this lens for fear of what I might learn, not so much about you, but about myself. I'm glad I finally made it here. As your friend, I love you.. as an Angel, I Bless you :)
  • Reply
    hlkljgk hlkljgk Oct 12, 2009 @ 10:45 pm
    very informative. thanks for sharing your story,
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by luvmyludwig

My name is Crystal (luvmyludwig on squidoo and many other places). I am a 27 year old mother of two. My two boys, ages 8 and 2, are the lights of my l... (more)

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