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Blonde Jokes

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Blonde Jokes

You've got to love blonde jokes. This lens is dedicated to a few blonde jokes that I find really funny and hope you do too! Granted, brunettes poke fun at blondes. Blondes poke fun at brunettes. Redheads are caught somewhere in the middle. This lens isn't about brunettes or redheads. It's about blondes... ;)

How do you keep a blonde in suspense?

I'll update the lens later with an answer... ;)

Short Blonde Jokes

  • Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
    A: She gets the poptart out of the toaster in one piece.
  • Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
    A: Two: one to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass him the blow dryer!
  • Q: What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
    A: They drowned in Spring training.
  • Q: Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
    A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
  • Q: Did you hear about the blonde who thought he discovered that he had a twin brother?
    A: He didn't realize he was looking in a mirror.
  • Q: Did you hear about the blonde who gave his cat a bath?
    A: He still hasn't gotten all the hair off his tongue.

A Very Puzzled Blonde

John gets a call from his very blonde girlfriend Buffy.

"I've got a problem," says Buffy.

"What's the matter?" asks John.

"Well, I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."

"What's the picture of?" asks John.

"It's of a big rooster," replies Buffy.

"All right," says John. "I'll come over and have a look."

So he goes over to Buffy's house and she greets him by saying, "Thanks for coming over." Buffy leads John into her kitchen and shows him the jigsaw puzzle on the kitchen table. John looks at the puzzle and then turns to her and says, "For heaven's sake, Buffy, put the cornflakes back in the box."

What's wrong with this picture? 

Blind Man in a Bar

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair - given that you are blind - that you should know five things:

- The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
- The bouncer is a blonde girl.
- I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
- The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
- The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No! Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Dumb Blonde Joke

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The Potato Farm

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are running from the cops. They hide on a potato farm. They crawl into some potato bags.

The first cop pokes the bag with the brunette in it. She says, "Meow." The cop confirms that it is just a cat.

The second cop pokes the bag with the redhead in it. She says, "Woof." The cop says that it is just a dog.

The third cop pokes the bag with the blonde in it.

She says in her sweetest voice, "Potato."

Blonde and Dumb...

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Dizzyboy

Hello and Welcome! I'm Dizzyboy. Well, at least that's my nickname and my website DizzyBoy.com. My real name is Rob.
Some of my hobbies include horseback... more »

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