Bonding With Your Blind Baby
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Form a Secure Attachment With Your Blind Baby
Bonding with a blind baby who has been institutionalized, either in a hospital or orphanage can be especially challenging. Even a baby who has been in foster care can have some issues in attachment. Blindness adds another hurdle to the attachment process, but it is not difficult to overcome these with a young child. Consistently practicing bonding behaviors is the key.
I adopted my daughter when she was ten months old. She had been in a hospital her first three months and then transferred to an orphanage until her adoption. She had been traumatized by her experiences in the hospital especially and became terrified if handled in certain ways. She had to learn to trust in order to attach to me. In addition to the typical things parents do to facilitate attachment, I learned there are differences for blind children in the attachment process.
My daughter is almost 14 now and we have a very close, mutually-fulfilling relationship. I will help you learn to read your blind baby's cues so you too can form a secure attachment with your blind child.
Photo credit
Contents at a Glance
Learn Your Baby's Cues
Blind Babies Respond Differently From Sighted Children
Attune yourself to your baby's cues. Sighted babies often become excited and more active when they see their parents. They smile, wave their arms and kick their feet. This also excites the parents, and this mutual joy helps form the bond of attachment.Blind babies have different cues and you must learn to read them. A blind baby will quiet herself when she hears her parents. She will become very still so that she can hear them. Some parents mistakenly think that their baby does not like them because she quiets when they come around. This is a mistaken interpretation.
Notice if your baby becomes quiet when she hears you. She is giving you her full attention and tuning into you.
The photo above is my daughter at about 12 months old. She is being very still, listening to the sound of my voice.
Photo property of author. All rights reserved.
Lullaby Time
Your Blind Baby Loves to Hear You Sing
While the myths are many about blind people being more musical or having a keener sense of hearing, none of this is true. What is true, however, is that there are many ways that music benefits a blind baby and bonding is just one of them. Music also helps your baby's brain development, aids in language development and it is fun!
You do not need a musical instrument. Learn some simple nursery songs and lullabies to sing to your baby. Sing the ABC's or sing your favorite Lady Gaga hit. It does not matter what you sing, just sing! Your baby will love it, and before you know it he will be singing along!
Be sure to check out the video of the music therapist singing to the blind baby and watch her come out of her shell!
Blind Babies Respond to Music
Use a Cabasa With a Blind Baby
This is a real musical instrument and not a toy. Your child will not outgrow this; it can stay with him throughout life. Do not leave the baby alone with this, but only allow him to have it when interacting with you so that you can supervise him for safety purposes. The cabasa does contain small parts.
Cabasa, Medium Wooden with Metal Beads
Engage your baby with a real musical instrument that has great sound and an interesting texture.
Using a Paddle Drum With a Blind Baby
This paddle drum is not colorful, but I like that it is an authentic instrument and not a toy. Using real objects as much as possible helps blind children with concept development. This drum has a goatskin head and an authentic sound.
This is a real instrument and not a toy. Your child will not outgrow this. Always supervise young children when they are using real musical instruments such as this to avoid accidents.
Paddle Drum, 8", Natural, w/ Mallet
This paddle drum has an interesting goatskin head and a genuine sound which will appeal to blind babies.
What is Your Baby's Favorite Song?
Each baby is an individual with his or her own musical tastes. When it comes to being serenaded, what does your baby enjoy? You do not have to sign in with Squidoo to participate in my polls.
Carry Your Baby
Blind Babies Need Skin Contact
Hold your baby a lot. Your blind baby needs extra time in your arms to compensate for not being able to watch you visually. Skin to skin contact is important in attachment. Hold your baby to feed her and never prop her bottle. Carry your baby in a sling instead of in a carrier. Never leave your blind baby strapped in a carseat unless he is riding in a car!Keep your baby with you. Do not leave her lying in her bed or playpen and go to another room for more than a few moments. She needs to be with you, to hear your voice, and to learn about what you are doing.
Maya Wrap
MAYA WRAP Lightly Padded Baby Ring Sling Carrier (MEDIUM - BRIGHT STRIPE)
I had a similar wrap for my daughter when she was a baby. Carrying her in the sling greatly facilitated our bonding experience, as she was adopted at age 10 months. We both enjoyed using the sling. Because of her delays, my daughter was happy to continue using the sling until well into her third year. I highly recommend this sling!
Bonding with a Blind Baby Poll
Baby Slings
People tend to have strong feelings about baby wraps and slings. Share your opinions here! You do not have to sign in with Squidoo to participate in my polls and quizzes.
How to Wear Your Blind Baby
Have a Consistent Scent
Your Blind Baby Recognizes You by Smell
Having a consistent scent is important so that your blind baby can identify you.Wear the same fragrance, and use the same soap and shampoo everyday. Your blind baby is getting to know you by your scent. If you change your fragrance or shampoo every few days, your baby will be confused about who you are and it will take longer for him to bond to you.
Talk to Your Baby
Blind Babies Need More Information
Talk to your blind baby a lot. Tell her everything that you are doing. She cannot see you, so describe to her what you are doing as you dress her, prepare her meals or tidy the room. It makes no difference that she does not speak English yet! She is bonding to the sound of your voice.
When I first started doing this, I felt silly. It felt awkward to describe my activities all the time. It took me some time to realize that whenever I was not talking to my child that from her perspective I vanished. I tried harder to keep it up and now it is more habitual to describe things to her.
Keep talking and it will start feeling more natural. Your child will benefit greatly from this.
Touch Your Baby
Touch Replaces Eye Contact with Mom for Blind Children
Touch replaces eye contact with Mom for blind children. Notice if your baby has a special way of reaching out to you. Every child will develop his own way of making a connection with his parents.
My daughter, who had only light perception, would reach out a small hand and touch the cheek of the person who was holding her. Today she is a teenager, and she still talks about the texture of the cheeks of people she knew as a very young child.
When seated in her high chair, she would reach her foot out and put it on my knee as I fed her. This was her way of making contact. She still likes to play "footsie" at the table sometimes.
The way your body feels is very important to your blind child in forming an attachment to you. Touch your blind baby a lot, because this is an important substitute for eye contact to him.
Learn Infant Massage
Nurturing Touch for Babies With Special Needs
An Infant Massage Guidebook: For Well, Premature, and Special Needs Babies
This book is highly recommended by both parents and professionals. Check out the reviews!
Dance With Your Baby
Blind Babies Need Movement
Dance with your baby. Blind babies need extra movement experiences to facilitate their brain development. Turn on the radio, snuggle your newborn close and sway to gentle ballads. Hug your toddler to your chest and bop to some lively tunes. Cuddling and moving together to music will be enjoyable to you both and enhance your emotional bond.
Help Your Baby See Your Face
For Babies With Low Vision
Enjoy Your Baby!!!
The Most Important Thing
Enjoy Your Baby
The most important thing is taking pleasure in parenting your child. Enjoy these special times bonding with your baby!
Take time to watch your baby sleeping. Laugh with your child. Everyday, multiple times a day, take time to do things with your child that bring you both pleasure. Cuddle, play, laugh, sing, dance, read a story.
Most importantly, enjoy your baby. Do not allow medical issues or concerns about the future interfere with your relationship with your child.
Read More About Blind Babies
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This Lens Received the Purple Star Award on August 1, 2011!
This Blind Baby Lens Has Been Angel Blessed!
Squidoo Angels Love Babies!
Thank you to these Squidoo Angels who have stopped by to bestow blessings on this lens! Your efforts are very appreciated!Tell Us About Your Baby!
Do you have a special bonding moment with your blind baby? Or just tell us about your baby! We love babies and love to hear what you and your baby are doing. You do not need to sign up with Squidoo to post comments on my lenses.
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DarleneN
Apr 24, 2012 @ 1:57 pm | delete
- Wonderful lens! The best advice is to enjoy your baby! Somebody gave me that advice when my daughter was born, and I've given it to my daughter and other young moms.
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medicman Apr 23, 2012 @ 11:56 pm | delete
- I am the father of five and I only just got my first grandchild. Tell you what... all those 'to-dos' works just as well with normal babies. What would be nice is if many more parents would realize that those perfect little gifts that God gave them need to be specially treated, no matter what their physical condition.
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luis
Apr 23, 2012 @ 8:01 pm | delete
- im 14 years old and my baby brother was born blind so i decided to always try to find ways to communicate with him and some of this tips helped me its tuff having a brother like this since he is my very first brother and i had different expectations of what i could do with brother but now its all changed and my new expectations are for him to know who i am when i speak to him thats one of them
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Frischy
Apr 23, 2012 @ 8:21 pm | delete
- Luis, I am so glad you took the time to leave a comment! Your message touched me deeply. You are going to have many, many enjoyable and memorable experiences with your little brother over the years, because you love him and are taking the time to learn how to best interact with him. You will be able to teach him so many things! My older daughter is sighted and the younger one is blind. The older sister taught the little one many things, including how to play video games! It is something I would not have thought she could do, but take a look at the article I wrote about games for the blind. She plays Mario games & has leveled up on Luigi's Mansion multiple times. Just by taking the time to play with your brother you will find ways for him to do things that adults might think were not possible. You have so much to offer him! I am sure you guys are going to be quite a team!
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AngryBaker
Feb 1, 2012 @ 11:18 pm | delete
- Wonderful lens...
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traveller27
Feb 1, 2012 @ 10:54 pm | delete
- Great lens..and very touching. Blessed by a travelling angel.
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Upon-Request
Feb 1, 2012 @ 8:56 pm | delete
- Great tips for parents dealing with bonding issues. I love this statement: Do not allow medical issues or concerns about the future interfere with your relationship with your child. That seems like the best advice of all. :)
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nancycarol
Feb 1, 2012 @ 8:25 pm | delete
- I never read this lens before...and I'm so glad I did now. This is a beautiful inspiration for families with blind children. How wonderful for both you and your child. Blessed by a SquidAngel.
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tokyonights7
Oct 22, 2011 @ 8:53 am | delete
- So touching! I agree - the most important thing of all is to enjoy your baby. Blind or not, he or she is the most precious thing in your life!
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thrivingmom
Aug 14, 2011 @ 10:42 pm | delete
- Wonderful lens!
*~blessed~*
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HSSchulte
Jul 18, 2011 @ 9:45 pm | delete
- Wonderful information from someone who knows. ~Blessed
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aj2008
Jul 15, 2011 @ 3:13 am | delete
- As the mother of four children who have normal vision, I have to admit I have never thought about how you would bond with a blind baby. This is a wonderful lens because you make it so personal as well as giving such helpful tips and advice to other parents who may find them in the same position as you.
I have promoted this lens on the SquidU Forum - I hope it gets you some traffic :)
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Frischy
Jul 15, 2011 @ 8:21 am | delete
- Thank you! :-)
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karmicchristian
Jul 14, 2011 @ 11:28 am | delete
- Brilliant and shows your loving nature to the world! You share vital tips and encouraging words for people with visually impaired children. God bless and keep well. Much love. :)
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AJTyne
Jul 12, 2011 @ 10:04 am | delete
- Excellent lens! Very useful to parents of blind or sighted infants, actually!
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by Frischy
Frischy is a writer and mom in Louisville, Kentucky. The mother of a blind daughter, Frischy is the vice president of the Parent, Student, Staff Organ... more »
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Attachment Parenting
The Attachment Parenting Book: A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby (Sears Parenting Library)
Amazon Price: $10.00 (as of 05/30/2012)
I cannot say that William and Martha Sears are pioneers in the field of attachment, because their techniques are ages old. However, they were among the first to help usher these age-old, intuitive parenting techniques back to a new generation of parents. While you may not want to embrace every aspect of their method (sharing a bed with baby can be dangerous), you can find ways to adapt their recommendations to fit the needs of your family. I believe this book is at least partially responsible for the close relationship I now have with my thirteen year old daughter.
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