Bonehead University

Why not register as a student and earn a degree? You will be the envy of everyone.

You can earn a degree simply by attending 4 semesters, taking the small tests and leaving comments at the end of each semester. A semester will of course be a Bonehead University Lens and you are just about to do your first semester here.

To become a student, we ask that you sign up in the module directly below this one. When a new semester begins, we will advise you via your Twitter or Squidoo account so that you can then attend your next semester. You must sign up to be notified of future semesters. Now, others might stumble upon semesters 2 to 4 but they will not be eligible to receive a degree without starting where you now are - at Semester No. 1.

At the end of each semester, you will be required to take a test but we "flunk" no one here at Bonehead. This is why we have a queue of people wishing to attend to obtain our highly esteemed degree.

Considered to be one of the biggest blunders in US military history (after Bush) - The Battle of the Little Big Horn also known as Custer's Last Stand. It was June, 1876. General George Custer was to attack the Indians from the south and General Terry and his men were to attack from the north. But Custer was a very reckless and ambitious officer who did not have the patience to wait. He attacked on his own before troops from the north had arrived. The result - he and his entire command of 166 officers and soldiers were annihilated by 3,000 warriors under 2 Sioux Indian Chiefs - Crazy Horse and Gall. Proof that it doesn't pay to have no patience.

Over the last 8 years, we have monitored 1,000 people who have been reading War and Peace on the bathroom throne. The average person takes 6,372 flushes in order to finish the novel.

Of course, those with strong bladders and healthy bowel muscles visit the bathroom less often and when there, take care of business quickly. This means they do not get a lot of reading done before they move on to other goals. These people may take as long as 10,718 flushes to finish War and Peace.

Those whose "plumbing system" is in need of repair, will find they may have bathroom breaks as long as 10 minutes and in that time are able to progress through the book at a good rate. This results in fewer flushes to finish the novel. However, this brings us to the downside of reading War and Peace. If you are already halfway through the book and have only flushed 2,000 times - this is an indication that you should seek medical attention immediately to have your "plumbing" checked.

Born in 1809, Edgar Alan Poe became one of the greatest horror authors who ever lived. He was known to be an opium addict and it might be very well that he wrote his best works while under the influence. A lot of his stories dealt with psychological horror and his best known short story was the Tell-Tale Heart. Not to be overlooked are his stories, "The Cask of Amontillado", "The Premature Burial" and "The Murders in the Rue Morgue" and also his poem, "The Raven". No horror library can ever be complete without Edgar Alan Poe.

Sadly, on October 4, 1849 he was found badly beaten and in a delirious state in Balitmore, Maryland and died 3 days later. The circumstances surrounding this event are still a mystery. However, I don't imagine it much matters today as had he not died then, it is most unlikely that he would still be alive today.

The Canadian Government recently appointed Professor Bonehead to conduct a study on the IQ of the average American.

Here is a summary of that report:

The national IQ average was 88 Points. That is 32 points less than the Average Canadian, so no surprise there.

Three US States were actually above the Canadian average - Florida with 127 points, New York with 124 and Montana with 122. This is quite a surprise as we never imagined anyone in the US having an IQ over 120 let alone an entire state.

Texas was found to have the lowest average with 66 points and it was concluded that the average was brought down by George W Bush and his family.

States on the west coast had a lower average than those on the east coast and it is thought that the LA smog was a factor out there.

The biggest surprise was the fact that Alaska and Hawaii both scored an average of 112 points, which just goes to prove that you don't have to be a part of the Lower 48 to be intelligent. In fact, it also proves that you are better off being isolated from them !!!

Introspection is an in-depth look within oneself in order to improve one's human and spiritual qualities. It is an essential step to soul enhancement and the route one must go to reach Nirvana.

Currently, our studies have shown that only 48% of people have looked inside themselves to the extent that we can say that they have participated in introspection. However, only 13% have done so seriously. This 13%, for the most part, is more spiritually involved then most of humanity.

We have estimated that the average person rates 57 on the Bonehead Scale of Spiritual Evolution. This scale is from 1 to 100. At the bottom of the scale, you will find what you would expect - species such as ants, fleas and cockroaches. God is of course rated 100.

Humans rate from 36 to 95. However, those with a rating of 95 are rarely encountered because many with a rating of 90 or more choose not to return to earth. They become Guardian Angels. Those who do come back to earth are the religious leaders among us.

Souls whose rating is beyond 95 are retained by God as cosmic planners and advisors.

The most advanced minds within Bonehead University rated Zut Moon, and what they found amazed them so much that they did a second analysis of him. Both times, Zut rated 84 which means if you wish to experience him here on earth, you only have a few more chances. If he progresses based on the studies we have made, he will have a rating of 90 wthin the next 8 to 12 lives. Then, of course, he will have the option of whether to return to earth or not.

We are curious as to where you think you rate on our most scientific scale. As such, we have set up the following module where you can give us your opinion.

Lucky you - you finished your first semester but there's just a bit more to do before you can move on to Semester No.2. You need to answer the 3 questions below and also leave a comment in the Student Evaluation area. Once done, you will be advised when you may attend your next semester. Good luck in all your studies.