Flight of the Conchords Bret McKenzie Makes My Heart Go Boom Boom!

Flight of the Conchords Bret McKenzie Makes My Heart go Boom Boom!!

Last year I knew not where to go. This year brought clarity. My most favored destination spot, New Zealand, Wellington to be precise. It's like if I was a Jesus freak, I'd want to go to Jerusalem, or if I was Catholic I'd want to see the Pope. It is with this similar type religious fervor that I love Bret McKenzie & Jemaine Clement, two kiwi hotties who form the folk parody band Flight of the Conchords hailing from Wellington New Zealand. Making people laugh is like one of the most awesome gifts and I just have such adoration for these guys. I do admit though, I am particularly smitten with the brutally hot Bret McKenzie. In fact, I would say I'm a Bretaholic. I just can't get enough.

Now, who's with me? Are you unsure if you can call yourself a bona fide Bretaholic and Bret-y Lover!? Take this quick Bretaholics Quiz and find out now.

Bretaholics Quiz

1. When you watch the show and it's Bret, Jemaine, Murray, whoever in the scene, regardless of who is delivering lines, you
a. Watch only Bret 100% of the time
b. Watch only Bret 80% of the time
c. Watch only Bret 50% of the time

2. You have researched the web enough to have
a. Found all official and non-official fan sites, all videos available on youtube, hbo, and myspace. You have watched every performance clip more times than you could mention. You have found every article and downloaded the lyrics for all their songs (memorized most), seen every picture and furthermore have bookmarked all the urls in your Flight of the Conchords folder. Your focus in this research has been almost solely directed at Bret. You love Jemaine and think he is totally awesome as well, but you are mad crazy in love with the gorgeous adorable talent that is Bret McKenzie so much so that a shadow is cast on all others.
b. Found the Conchords official and several non-official fan sites. You have seen some of the videos but not all. You're crazy in love with Bret when it suits your schedule. You might be a little sad if you found out he had a girlfriend or was engaged, but you wouldn't break your pencil over it.
c. You're aware of all the hype and everything, but Michael Vartan is going to be in a new show in the fall with 3 other guys who look kinda hot. While you're sad that the Conchords first season has come to a close, you're looking forward to some of the new fall line up that might offer up some delicious man-treats like Michael Vartan, just to name, well, one.

3. Please read the following statement: Bret McKenzie is so beautiful, talented, charming that it is dizzyingly alarming. It is nothing short of a miracle that all this greatness can be all in one human being. It is shocking that he does not in fact walk on water.
a. I strongly agree.
b. I somewhat agree
c. I sort of agree, but would take out some of the adjectives and the part about walking on water.

4. Putting things in perspective: Please read the following statement: I don't see how anyone cannot agree that Bret is the hottest, most talented, hilarious, charming, witty, most musically inspired comedic genius in New Zealand and all around the world.
a. I strongly agree and might add that he is a delicious kiwi so mouthwateringly sweet I've gotten 10 cavities in the past 5 minutes just thinking about him.
b. I do agree, but Jemaine is many of those things as well.
c. I sort of agree. But I am looking forward to seeing Michael Vartan in the new fall season line up. He's somewhat foreign too. He's part French and speaks it fluently.

5. Figwit
a. Stands for Frodo Is Great Who Is That. Bret played this "no name" elf in Lord of the Rings, no lines, an elf extra, but oh so much more than an extra. Six seconds on screen and a lifetime in the hearts of many. See figwitlives.net for more details
b. I've heard of Figwit and know Bret played him, but didn't know what the term meant. I haven't seen Lord of the Rings and I haven't searched out the clip on youtube of the scene he has in the 3rd of the trilogy. I didn't know that Bret played in only 1st and 3rd. Hmm,
c. Figwit what? I like figs, even fignewtons. Given that, I might like a figwit since obviously it has something to do with figs.

Now, give yourself 5 points for every a. answer, 3 points for every b. answer, and 1 point for every c. answer.

If your total score adds up to 23-25, congratulations, you ARE in fact a Bretaholic and you have impeccable taste.

If your score totaled anywhere from 15-21, you are definitely an FOTC fan, congratulations, you are correct as well.

If your score totaled anywhere from 5-13, unfortunately, you do not get it. We'll see you next spring when the flowers are booming!!