BS and BALDERDASH

WELCOME TO THE LAND OF BULL & BUNKUM

Today our world is awash in all manner of dazzling detritus masquerading as breathtaking balderdash and bedazzling bafflegab.

This lens is meant to assist those who wish to navigate the increasingly globalized glut of empty words signifying nothing.

Frankly, this light-hearted lens fills a nice niche for those who are interested in finding another word for BS, balderdash or just plain nonsense!

WHEN YOU'RE STUCK FOR WORDS...AND BS JUST WON'T DO...

You know you've entered a "BS Free Zone" when you see this sign.

Fret not, there are plenty of other fine words to use in the English language which deserve to see the light of day.

There are at least 50 other words to say "BS and Balderdash". So, have some fun and pick one that feels right for the occasion:

A: absurdity, argot

B: babble, badinage, bafflegab, bagatelle, baloney, banter, blah blah blah, bologna, bananas, bilge, bilgewater, blague, blarney, blather, bombast, bosh, bull, bullshit, bumpf, buncome, bunk, bunkum, bureaucratese

C: cant, chatter, claptrap, codswallop, crackpot, crap, crapola, craziness, crock, crud

D: double-talk, drivel, drool

F: fatuity, flummery, folderol, folly, foolishness, foolish talk, froth, frothy discourse, fudge

G: gabble, gammon, garbage, gasconade, gibble-gabble, gibberish, gobbledygook, guff

H: hocus-pocus, hogwash, hooey, hokum, hornswoggle, hot air, horseshit, humbug

I: imbecile, prating, inanity

J: jabber, jabberwocky, jargon

M: malarkey, mawkishness, mish-mash, moonshine, mumbo-jumbo

N: nonsense

P: palaver, patter, persiflage, piffle, pomposity, poppycock, prate, prating, prattle, pretense

R: raillery, rant, rigmarole, rodomontade, rot, rubbish

S: senseless gabble, shit, shite, silly, slaver, slobber, small talk, stupid, snake oil, soft soap, stultiloquence, swill

T: tarradiddle, tomfoolery, tommyrot, tosh, trash, trifle, tripe, trumpery, twaddle, twattle

V: vacuous verbiage

W: weasel-words and wish-wash.

BEST BLURT ON BUNK:

"History is more or less bunk." -- Henry Ford

A WITLESS WAY WITH WORDS

WORDORIUM: For whacky wordsmiths and wonky wordpeckers with way too much time on their hands.

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THE IMPORTANCE OF "B" IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Considering the fact that bafflegab, bilgewater and other forms of bs have so little value placed upon them, it's a wonder that they take up so much space on the Internet.

A glimpse on "Google" reveals the importance of words beginning with "B" in the English language:

BS -- 144 million pages

Bull -- 99 million pages

Bullshit -- 19.5 million pages

Blague -- 6.7 million pages

Babble -- 5.5 million pages

Bosh -- 5.4 million pages

Bilge -- 4.6 million pages

Blather -- 2.8 million pages

Baloney -- 1.8 million pages

Bombast -- 1.1 million pages

Balderdash -- 859,000 pages

Bunkum -- 292,000 pages

Bilgewater -- 58,400 pages

Bafflegab -- 52,300 pages

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.
Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living,
It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.
Which is what I do,
And that enables you to laugh at life's realities."
-- Dr. Seuss --

WHAT BRAND OF BLATHER DO YOU LIKE?

Balderdash & Piffle: The BBC's brand of balderdash & piffle.
Codswallop Fish & Chips: For those who can't stand spam or baloney.
The Origin of Codswallop: Of interest to word wonks.
Malarkey: How to say malarkey in 10 different languages!
Crap(ola): All the poop on crapola you'll ever need!
Rigmarole: For those who like running around in tiny circles!
Humbug: This word made Ebeneezer Scrooge famous!
Bosh: Everything in the known universe tagged "bosh".
Bumpf at its Best!: Winners of the "Bad Writing Contest".
In Praise of "Balderdash": Lest you think that I alone have an interest in the great big glossary of guff!
Made for Pompous Prattlers: For those who can't wait to add rich rigamarole to their stultifyingly succinct emails.
Horse...: "Never Stand Behind a Loaded Horse" by Gordon Kirkland.
Wishy-Washy my foot!: This babe doesn't take any bull!
Great Big Giggle Guide: When you can't suck it up any longer, try this.
Hogwash Heaven: An ode to the Golden Pig Year - 2007.
Hot-Air Headquarters: Where The Quipping Queen makes fun of everything.
Big Book of Bunkum: Where vacuous verbosity is the order of the day.
Breathtaking Babble!: Adventures of a Dancing Kumquat...now what could be more entertaining than that!
Hornswoggle & Humcrush: Music for merry-minded munchkins.
Best Source for Slang: Hang with slang!
Wanna Jug of Jargon?: Protest codswallop with your own crockpot!
Buzzword Boardroom: Blinking buzzwords for busy worker bees!
Leadership or Lollygagging?: All about corporate claptrap & coupon-clipping.
Freelance Fun: A snappy, snarky, spoofy goddess of giggles -- Angie Brennan!
Top 10 Hoaxes for 2006: Don't ya love all that hocus-pocus!
Bafflegab At Its Best!: If you can grasp this gobbledygook you'll win first prize in our monthly Glossary of Guff contest!
Web Economy BS Generator: A dazzling doublespeak device to divert attention from any economic entity going down the tubes.
Doublespeak Award: Recipients of The National Council of Teachers of English "Doublespeak Award".
Literary Litterbugs?: Doublespeak another form of detritus?
Slang Site: Where weird webspeakers hang out.
17 Ways to Kill a Sentence: All about the variations on vapid or verbose vocabulary.
Getting a Grip on Gobbledygook: Professors of piffle and puffery will love this.
Legal Mumbo Jumbo Dictionary: Well, if you really must know, it's called "The Stinky Lawyers Mumbo Jumbo Online Dictionary".
Funny Fashion Faux Pas: This lens will titillate those keen on exploring the world of tacky togs for a whale of a tail.
Office Speak You Love To Hate: Here are 50 office-speak phrases that will have you fit to be tied in no time!
Bafflegab and Gobbledygook About the End of A Good Thing: This light-hearted piece of literature examines the amusing acronym -- VSA. You'll have to read it to appreciate just what a ridiculous, ripsnorting addition we have to the English language when we can't say so-and-so has bit the biscuit.

TONGUE-IN-CHEEK OR JUST POPPYCOCK?

Poppycock is such a delightful yet seldom used word in everyday conversation.

Actually senseless soliliquizing (or talking to oneself in a mumble-jumble manner), might be more entertaining and a great boon to stress reduction than having to listen to breathtakingly boring business folk impress us with their latest bafflegab and buzzwords.

So for those who have a passion for poppycock (be it the expletive variety, or potpourri for the palate, there's something for everyone.

And should you every want to fling a fun-word around like "poppycock" in a foreign land, try these on for size:

Denmark (Danish) - Sludder og vrol

Netherlands (Dutch) - Onzin

France (French) -- Sornettes, Balivernes

Germany (German - slang) - Mumpitz

Italy (Italian) - Stupidaggini, Cazzate

Portugal (Portugese) - Papo furado

Spain (Spanish) - Tonterias

Sweden (Swedish) - Struntprat

A GALLERY OF GUFF AND GIGGLES

The Guru of Gardyloo has kindly agreed to share his favorite collection of guff and giggles with those who appreciate poppycock and piffle.

A game of gaffes & guff!

Poppycock: Just The Nuts!!!! by cknlomein

Where's the Poppycock?

From the Turnip Twaddler...

Holy Cow!

Jabberwocky.

A bunch of baloney!

What the tosh is that about?

Looks like bosh to me!

A bit of blarney?

Pomposity deflated.

Only toddlers understand.

Hocus-Pocus You're out of focus!

Bananas & Bozos

Church of Hot Air

For Dweebs only!

New Year, Same Old Rubbish.

Don't Leave Your Bicycle Here by China Chas

GibberishWhat Else!

A little folly goes a long way!

Obtuse drivel at your fingertips!

Another trifling tome!

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JOHN CLEESE EULOGY

A positively piffling performance by J.C. himself!

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PUNCTUATION FOR PRATTLERS

When pithy prose doesn't work...try this!

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LOTS OF HOOEY IN HEFTY BAGS!

Not another crapola commercial?

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A FREAKIN FANTASTIC FOREIGN LANGUAGE EXPERT WANTED:

HOLY SHIT!

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MUSINGS ON MANURE

The word "shit" is a very old word indeed. In days gone by, shite and schiten were more commonly used to express the regular routine of relieving oneself in nature, the throne room, or the tinkle pantry.

Shit truly is a remarkably colorful if not versatile word that rolls off the tongue easily.

While the priggish pendantics behind Webster's Dictionary have suggested that it is a vulgar expression not to be used in polite company, it seems to have found its way into the everyday vernacular since it occupies an important place as the least misunderstood word in the English language.

Thanks to Kathleeen Mayer's handy pocket edition of How To Shit In The Woods - An Environmentally Sound Approach To A Lost Art, we now have a great big glossary of shit-inspired expression, (a sample of which appears below).

big shit - someone with an overinflated sense of self-importance

bullshit 1. lies; nonsense. 2. trash; useless junk. 3. name of a group word game. 4. an interjectin of fierce disagreement.

chickshit 1. a coward. 2. petty behavior. adj. cowardly

crock of shit - something false or deceptive

deep shit - big trouble; also stated "knee deep in shit"

dipshit - idiot; nerd.

doesn't know shit from Shinola - can't tell the difference between excrement and brown shoe polish.

dumbshit - a pathetic incompetent

get your shit together 1. undergo great personal growth; to become organized or focused. 2. admonition to hurry up.

Holy Shit! - exclamation of surprise, discovery, relaization, or fear

horseshit - 1. lies, double-talk. 2. interjection of vehement disagreement.

hot shit - a class act; a popular item; freuqently used sarcastically.

know your shit - to be an expert in your field.

little shit 1. a person of small sature. 2. petty annoyance. 3. term of enderament for someone who is looked upon admiringly as a sweet rascal.

No shit! 1. exclamation ranging from high excitment to surprise; often similar to Really?; used sarcastically in response to something already known. 2. exclamation of agreement.

shit bricks 1. to worry. 2. to be terrified

shit-fit - tizzy

up shit creek - in a bad situation

And for those who think detritus is "de trop debris" or simply "dead as a doornail", think again. Here's a lovely little gem called "Peter's Useful Crap"!

AND NOW A WORD FROM "OUR LADY OF LIPPY"

Divas and Dowagers share a lot in common.

They both know that they can dish out the dirt any way they please. And, that if a man misbehaves, he knows where he'll be spending the night...in the damn dog house!

These dazzling dames also know that if you mate a Bulldog with a Shitzu, you certainly don't get a powerful piddler!

BS AWARD

HONORING THE HOOEY!

George Carlin - Patriotic And Religious Bullshit

From 'It's Bad For Ya' (2008)

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BEST BOSH GOING ON THE NET!

For those who like the skewed side of life.

Naughty Baker's Diminished Sex Drive Starting To Affect His Work: GRAND FORKS, ND—Erotic baker Kevin Nageli has begun designing cakes that have no sexual content at all.
Scientists Discover Gene Responsible For Eating Whole Goddamn Bag Of Chips: ITHACA, NY—In an announcement with major implications for big fat hogs, geneticists said that serial chip-eating is hereditary.
Nation Fills Up On Bread: WASHINGTON, DC-Despite repeated warnings from federal officials not to eat too much before their entree arrives, an alarming 89 percent of U.S. citizens filled up on bread Monday, leaving them too full to enjoy the rest of their meal.
Digesting, Tasting, Excreting, Then Chewing: How One Man Is Trying To Change The Eating Paradigm
Opinion: Snyder's Of Hanover Has Always Been In Pretzels For The Long Haul: In this world of ever-changing loyalties, it seems at times as though nothing consistent and permanent remains. Nothing in which one can place...

OUTRAGEOUS ODDITIONS

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BULL & BUNKUM WISH YOU A HAPPY-CHALLENGED HOLIDAY! (Image Credit: bcanada92@flickr.com)

BATTY BOOKMARKS FOR THE BORED AND BORING

SIPS ARTISAN BISTRO: A tantalizing Tapas Bar -- Fit for a Queen Bee or a King Tut!

THE TREASURES OF TIME: Things that really mattered throughout my life.

GADGETS THAT GIVE YOU THE GIGGLES: Grab a few guffaws with these great gizmos!

CRAZY CAPTION CONTEST: Put on your fool's cap or dunce hat to win this month's prize!

UNIQUE UNMENTIONABLES - What's what in the Universe of Underthings?

BS and BALDERDASH

WELCOME TO THE LAND OF BULL & BUNKUM

WHEN YOU'RE STUCK FOR WORDS...AND BS JUST WON'T DO...

BEST BLURT ON BUNK:

A WITLESS WAY WITH WORDS

THE IMPORTANCE OF "B" IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

WHAT BRAND OF BLATHER DO YOU LIKE?

TONGUE-IN-CHEEK OR JUST POPPYCOCK?

A GALLERY OF GUFF AND GIGGLES

JOHN CLEESE EULOGY

PUNCTUATION FOR PRATTLERS

LOTS OF HOOEY IN HEFTY BAGS!

A FREAKIN FANTASTIC FOREIGN LANGUAGE EXPERT WANTED:

HOLY SHIT!

MUSINGS ON MANURE

AND NOW A WORD FROM "OUR LADY OF LIPPY"

HONORING THE HOOEY!

George Carlin - Patriotic And Religious Bullshit

BEST BOSH GOING ON THE NET!

OUTRAGEOUS ODDITIONS

BATTY BOOKMARKS FOR THE BORED AND BORING

THE BUNKUM BOOKSHELF

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THE BS BOUTIQUE

BODACIOUS BAFFLEGAB APPRECIATED

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