Bubble Bath Day and Other Bathroom Celebrations

This image is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.

The first holiday of January that you may or may not know, is Bubble Bath Day. I prefer a small celebration, a friend and myself in a regular bathtub, her bath or mine, it doesn't matter. However, we will cover both ways in order to be fair.

The Celebration For a Large Group

For the large bubble bath celebration you should gather a group of willing friends (see the photo shown with the introductory text to the left) and enlist their aid in making the party a success. Clothing, I guess, should be optional. You'll need supplies and by that I mean a large cache of alcohol in various forms. Beer, (plenty of beer) wine, hard liquor, and maybe some cordials. I cannot stress this enough, you don't want to have a bunch of wet people and run out of booze. That would be cataclysmic, not to mention damned uncomfortable. I would serve food, something easy yet elegant is just the ticket.

Go out and buy a lot of chicken livers, then roast them in the oven or fry them. At this point take some bacon, regular or if you prefer turkey bacon and put it in the oven and cook it until done but stll limp. Wrap the livers one at a time with a strip of bacon, stick a toothpick in and you've got a pretty good canape' that people will truly enjoy. (they will be drunk so they will enjoy anything) Get a load of cheese and crackers and make little sandwiches.

Back in the 50's my grandmother ran a catering service and she came home once with a case of potted meat. Now potted meat was new and no one was very familiar with the product. Certainly not her customers that included members of the Borden Ice Cream family. She had to make five hundred finger sandwiches and we did with potted meat. They were not that good, (at that time the meat was very suspect, snouts, and other parts of the pig that most people will not eat knowingly) but she said that her cocktail party goers would be tipsy and they would like these things. So I helped Nannie (my grandmother) make 500 sandwiches from potted meat. The people at this party raved about these sandwiches and she was asked over and over for a recipe. She of course did not provide one, which added to the mystery. The point is, make some finger sandwiches with whatever you like, trust me, it'll be better than the potted meat sandwiches Nannie made so long ago.

If you want to take this a step further and provide more substance, then I would recommend a dish that is easy to prepare and very filling. There are a lot of names for this, but it is only ground meat and pasta with sauce.

Boil some pasta, your choice as to variety. Brown some ground meat, (I recommend beef or turkey, though I myself don't eat beef) and make a red sauce or heat some of the store bought variety. Mix them together and you have a meal. Shred some cheese, parmesan regianno is preferred but you could do mozzarella or any Italian white cheese. Sprinkle the cheese over the mixture to taste, and serve. Trust me, no one is looking for gourmet fare, once again, they will be drunk for the most part.

You could decorate the area with whatever you have on hand. I don't recommend candles for the group bubble bath, you'd get a fire for sure. (Your guests are drunk, I can't stress this enough) Play some really good party music and proceed to enjoy your celebration. If someone calls the authorities then you know the party was a success!

The Celebration For Two

Now this is a real party! I've got a friend, (see the picture at the beginning of this section, no I don't know this lady, but I would like to know her) candlelight, copious amounts of bubble bath and some finger food and wine. Clothing is not optional, as you can see from the photo shown above I don't expect the guest at this celebration to wear clothing and I won't either. Let's get on with this celebration, starting with the 'finger' food...

You should provide elegant and flavorful food for this celebration. No 'chips and dip', break out your knowledge of things culinary and serve something really good. You like cavier'? Well now's the time to have some. Let's face facts, you don't have cavier' more than once or twice a year, so let's do it for this auspicious holiday. Once again, make it elegant, just because you're eating in the 'john' doesn't mean it should be 'crappy', (more about words derived from Thomas Crapper's name) no, it should be good. You see where I'm going with this, serve good snacks, you'll reap a reward for your effort. (you know, from your date, understand?) Go with wine, cognac or brandy for your alcohol 'fix'. They are better when sipped and served in moderation.

Gentleman, (and I'm addressing the men in this scenario) by now you know how to relax your female friend, don't you? So you're all relaxed and then you put your music on, and join the lady in the tub. I could tell you...
...Well no, I will not tell you, but you know what you should do next.

Ladies (and I'm talking to the real ladies out there) you definitely know what to do in this situation. To quote Marvin Gaye of Motown fame, "Let's get it on".

We're all on the same page now, the celebration is under way. I'm counting on you to make them the best 'Bubble Bath Day' celebrations that you ever attended. I know I will, (since this is the only "Bubble Bath Day' celebration that I've ever attended) and I will do the originators of this holiday proud.

*Note:
Apparently there is no official origin of this holiday, other than a desire by the manufacturers of bubble bath to increase sales. Our research left no stone unturned and we got nothing! So enjoy the artwork (in the form of photos) I'm going to present with people bathing, and having a little harmless fun.

This image is in the public domain, as it's copyright has expired. Photo of Thomas Crapper

First, let me say that Thomas Crapper was not born on January 27th 1910, he died that day. We are in the curious position of celebrating this guy on his date of death. He was born in September 1836, though the exact day is not known.

We're going to celebrate a holiday named for a guy whose name happened to be crapper. What came first? The Chicken or the egg? Well in this case the guy called Crapper came before people started to use his name for, well you know what they used his name to describe. Well the truth is the word 'crap' was in use before Old Tom was born. The word predates it's current use for bodily waste. It is probably a combination of two words one Dutch and one French. The Dutch word is krappen, it means to cut off or separate. The French word is crappe, which means waste or rejected matter.

Thomas Crapper did not invent the flushing toilet. Apparently he had a plumbing fixture business and he would sell his wares while implying that he had invented the toilet. He invented the ballcock, which is still in use in toilets, (and whose name my son finds really funny,[I'm sure those of you that have sons understand] and will laugh on cue if I say "Ballcock") and it was apparently a necessary fixture in the 19th century and now as well.

Thomas Crapper was a plumber and his work was respected by everyone, including the royal family of Britain. He created several products but the toilet was not one of them. There are manhole covers with his name on them in London that are still minor tourist attractions.

So what are we celebrating, well we're celebrating all of the crap that came to past because this man existed. I'm sorry, I shouldn't say crap. But isn't that what our holiday is all about.

All around the country this holiday will be celebrated. Thomas Crapper died January 27th, 1912 and this is the 100th birthday of his death, so to speak. The holiday has been celebrated on his death rather than his birthdate.

Think of all of the activities you carry out on the toilet. I hesitate to mention any of them. I don't mean the usual functions that are carried out on the toilet, I mean the unusual and the bizarre for that matter. So on the 27th of January each year (especially this one) celebrate this holiday. I'm going to make this holiday the sensual pleasure that it should be each year. After all, isn't this holiday about one of our more private functions. I think so, so I set forth this set of rules. There are not many, after all this is a bunch of crap! Oh, I'm sorry, there's that word again.

Clean the toilet, after all it's crapper day.

Clean your entire powder room, once again, it is crapper day and we should honor Old Tom Crapper. Festoon the toilet with streamers to give it a party atmosphere. This is a celebration! Invite your friends over, have quiet meditation and invoke the name of Thomas Crapper while standing over yours'. Make sure you have plenty of alcohol, because you need to be tipsy for this. Serve snacks, make a few speeches. I'm not kidding, let's turn this thing into a real celebration!