How to Build Rapport With Other People

Rapport is a deep level of relationship. Dictionary.com defines rapport as:

relation; connection, esp. harmonious or sympathetic relation

In a business setting, the state of rapport represents the stage of relationship where people will refer business to you and ask for your recommendation of others.

In a team setting, the state of rapport represents the stage of relationship where people can focus on the work without really worrying too much about relationship issues. Team members know each other well and seldom question the motives of other members of the team.

If you want to build a strong team or develop your business based on great word-of-mouth marketing, rapport is your goal.

"rapport." Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. 23 Aug. 2008. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/rapport.

Pictures courtesy www.sxc.hu

The rapport building process has four stages:

• Connection: At this stage of the process, people know each other. They work in the same office, they have traded business cards, etc. Somehow they know each other.
  


• Trust: At this stage of the process, people trust each other. Different people tend to have different ways of looking at trust:
  
  
  
  • Task-oriented people tend to view trust transactionally.
    
    
    • Do you do what you say you are going to do?
  
  
  • People-oriented people tend to view trust relationally.
    
    
    • Do you treat people nicely?
    
    
    • Do I believe that you will treat me nicely.


• Relationship at this stage of the process, people have something of a relationship with each other. You have not reached rapport yet. You do have a relationship.
  
  
  
  • Task-oriented people tend to view relationships transactionally as well. They tend to move into the relationship stage of the process after they decide if they can trust you based on how you handle tasks.
    
  
  
  • People-oriented people tend to move to relationship quickly. They often decide if they like before they decide if they trust you.
  
  
• Rapport this is the deepest, strongest form of relationship. It usually takes some time and effort to get there.

Because task-oriented people tend to view things transactionally (based on how you handle tasks), they generally move through the steps like this:

1. Connection


2. Trust


3. Relationship


4. Rapport

Because people-oriented people tend to view things relationally (based on how you handle interactions with people), they generally move through the steps like this:

1. Connection


2. Relationship


3. Trust


4. Rapport

Notice that the two different types of people move through the process in different ways. To build rapport with a person:

1. Recognize how they probably see things, and


2. Focus your efforts appropriately.

If they more task-oriented...

...How you handle your time and tasks will be the first thing they notice about you.

If they more people-oriented...

...How you speak and interact with others will be the first thing they notice about you.

Remember that task-oriented types view almost everything through a lens that says:

1. "How does this affect time?" and

2. "Is this reasonable and logical?"

Remember that people-oriented types view almost everything through a lens that says:

1. "How does this affect people?" and

2. "How does this impact relationships?"