Three Brothels You Shouldn't Take Your Business Card Holder To

Gentlemen Like Them Nice and Loose
The average man - no matter what his job, predisposition, or business card holder color - would eventually wound up at a brothel at some point in his life. If even the movie star Hugh Grant found it difficult to resist the lure of the modern harem, think how much more difficult it is for the ordinary man. Admit it. Even you have toyed with the idea of dropping by these houses of pleasure.

Curiosity Shaved the Cat
If you're truly curious, why don't you go? At the very least, you would find the visit educational, if not stimulating. Just be sure not to go there right after work while you're still wearing your suit. Change into more casual clothes and be sure to leave your ID and business card holder behind. Where you're going, there's no need for business card holders. As a matter of fact, the worst thing that could happen to you in the place you're heading to is be accurately identified.

The Big, the Blightless, and the Bizarre
Not all brothels are created equal. Some are more inventive, more outrageous, more colorful than others. If you want to avoid notoriety of the Hugh Grant kind, you would do well not just to leave your business card holder behind but to avoid the following three brothels altogether. They're odd, unusual, and only for the visitor who thrives on the "What a close call! She would'av found me out!" adrenaline rush.

1. Big Sister
No, this brothel is not run by runs. Nor will you be offered a girl who resembles your sister the most. The name Big Sister is a play on Big Brother. But if you think the name doesn't mean anything, think again. It's called Big Sister for a reason - it crawls with video cameras.

The good news is that at Big Sister's, you get your girl for free. The bad is that's free only because it's subsidized. That's what the cameras are for, you neophyte! Your entire anatomy will be beamed from inside a room and into the television sets of countless Czech homes. See? You really should leave that business card holder at home.

2. Soapland
Soapland is not just one brothel; it's an entire brothel industry in Japan. Wherever there's a red light district in the land of the rising sun, there stands a Soapland, too.

What does Soapland offer? Exactly what its name suggests - a good soaping. And what a good soaping it must be because it comes with a price tag that would make most money clip credit card holders bleed! Standard service at Soapland costs as much as $1,000, so if you must go there at all, be sure to bring more than a magic wallet that overflows with cash and a dirty mind. Get your money's worth by showing up with real, caked-with-mud, I haven't-showered-in-weeks dirt, too. They'll have you sit nude on a specially designed chair that lets everything hang with glorious freedom. While you recline, the girls will wash you from head to toe. If, after your bath, you still have some fight left in you, then the girls will give it as good as they've got.

Again, Soapland is one more place you would not want to take a business card holder to.

3. Pascha
Trust the Germans to do everything with efficacy. They turn even whoring into a science. That, or a profitable business model. They round prostitutes up and have them stay at a 12-storey, 27,000-square-foot tower. Presumably, this made it easy for the government to keep track of the girls because all of them are housed in one clean, easy-to-locate place.

Within the Pascha is a very well-organized community. Still, this doesn't make it a place you could take your corporate identity and your business card holder to. One floor is set aside for low-cost fun, another for the entertainment that comes with a heftier price tag. The building also boasts of several bars and pizza delivery service.

Oh yes, times have changed. Society has become so complex and competition has become so stiff even whorehouses have had to evolve. Today, not only do brothels consider clients' highly diverse tastes, they go well and beyond the call of duty to make one's whoring experience a truly magical one.