Proper Business Etiquette

How can you guarantee a well-run meeting? What are the biggest e-mail mistakes? How casual is "business casual"? When it comes to cellular phones, what is the difference between good business and bad manners? Questions like these persist because manners still matter. Proper manners, etiquette, and interpersonal skills are as crucial to success as are innovative products and services. In this comprehensive guide to mastering everything from professional relationships and correspondence to business attire and luncheons, Lydia Ramsey, an authority on business protocol and propriety, provides hundreds of invaluable suggestions to master good manners in any business setting. Filled with updated, new information and covering topics such as business handshakes, meeting courtesy, electronic etiquette, gift giving in the office, and international business, the author offers hundreds of useful, practical suggestions for the veteran business professional and novice alike.

Purchase Manners That Sell

"Manners That Sell is a must read book for anyone, but especially for those who are employed. Lydia Ramsey discusses a wide breadth of topics in her book. She leaves no subject regarding etiquette and manners untouched.

College students who are about to take their first position in the workplace would definitely have a competitive and confidence advantage by reading this book cover to cover. This book should be regarded as a contemporary classic. Modern in its frank discussion of proper protocol in today's electronic and fast paced society, yet classic in the traditions that have remained constant in our culture for centuries. Sprinkled with a touch of humor, this book is easy to read.

Each chapter segments particular subjects, allowing the reader to find answers to particular questions within minutes.

This book can be a great family keepsake that will be passed on from one family member to another for years to come. Keep this book around as a reference. One never knows when the occasion will come when you will really need to know what is the proper thing to do.

All the best of success to you in selling this masterpiece!"

Rosemarie Rossetti, Ph.D.
President, Universal Design Living Laboratory
A National Demonstration Home
http://www.UDLL.com
Speaker - Trainer - Consultant - Author

If you have ever been to Disney World, you are probably familiar with the attraction, "It's a Small World." If you have taken the short boat ride, you can no doubt recall the words and hum the melody. In the business world as well as fantasy land, it is definitely a small world.

Our interactions with people from other counties and cultures used to be the result of travel. Now we interact with people from all over the world on a daily basis because we live and work side-by-side. We have become a blended society.

If you want to be successful, you need to recognize, respect and appreciate the differences you encounter. If you are currently in business, you must be knowledgeable about the customs of your clients and contacts, sensitive to their traditions and respectful of differences.

No matter the quality of your product or level of your expertise, if you are unaware of the business practices and social customs of others, your business will suffer. One small misstep such as using first names inappropriately, ignoring the rules of timing or sending the wrong color flower to your client, can cost you the relationship, the deal or the sale. On the other hand being knowledgeable about international customs can improve your business relations and boost your bottom line.

In the 1970's when Nissan was looking for the site for their first plant in the U.S., competition among the states was fierce. In the end, Tennessee won. It wasn't just the location, the labor force, and the special incentives. The negotiating teams from Tennessee took the time to study the Japanese culture. They sent their top people, including the Governor, to the discussions. By doing so, they showed honor and respect, highly valued by the Japanese. They also matched their naturally slower pace and personal touch to that of the Japanese.

It's easy to make blunders that can cost you business without ever knowing what you did. Here are a few examples of mistakes that can cost you:

1. Immediately using first names with people from another country
2. Ignoring the dietary rules of Hindus, Jews or Muslims.
3. Flashing the "OK" sign to someone from South America
4. Giving a clock to a person from China
5. Slapping a Japanese businessman on the back.
6. Skipping the small talk with a Latino.

If you want to be successful doing business with people from other cultures, learn all that you can about them. Do the research.

Has it ever occurred to you how much you are saying to people even when you are not speaking? Unless you are a master of disguise, you send messages about your true thoughts and feelings all the time whether or not you are using words. Think about it. In the business setting, people can hear what you are not saying.

Eye contact is the most obvious way you communicate. When you are looking at the other person, you show interest. When you don't make eye contact, you give the impression that the other person is of no importance.

Facial expression is an obvious means of non-verbal communication. A smile sends a positive message. Others will be more receptive to you if you remember to check your expression.

The position of your head speaks to people. Keeping your head straight, which is not the same thing as keeping your head on straight, will make you look confident and authoritative. People will take you seriously. If you want to appear friendly and open, tilt your head to one side.

Arms give clues about how receptive you. Arms crossed or folded over your chest say that you have shut other people out and have no interest in them or what they are saying. This position can also say, "I don't agree with you." You might just be cold, but unless you shiver at the same time, the other person may get the wrong message.

The best place for your arms is by your side. You will look confident and relaxed. If this is hard for you, do what you always do when you want to get better at something-practice. After a while, it will feel natural.

The angle of your body gives an indication to others about what you are feeling and thinking. Leaning in says, "Tell me more." Leaning away signals you've heard enough.

Legs talk, too. Keep them still since a lot of movement indicates nervousness. How and where you cross them tells others how you feel. The least professional and most offensive position is resting one foot on top of your other knee. Sitting still and watching how you cross your legs will make you look like a polished professional.

You may not be aware of what you are saying with your body, but others will get the message. Make sure it is the one you intend to send.

There are few gestures in business more impressive than handwriting a letter or a note. Most people think that a handwritten note requires extra time and effort. Ironically, it often takes less time to write a message by hand than to key one yourself or have someone key it for you.

What if your handwriting is hard to read? Unless it is totally illegible, it is still preferable to send notes in your own writing. With a little perseverance, you can improve your handwriting, regardless of your age or stage. Your last opportunity to learn good penmanship did not vanish when you left the third grade.

There are times when corresponding by hand is optional and there are times when it is mandatory. You should always send a handwritten note when:

Someone has given you a gift
You have been a guest in another person's home
You were treated to a meal
Someone has done you a favor
You are replying to an invitation
You are sending condolences
You want to recognize a birth, a marriage, or a graduation.
You need to apologize

With the availability of email, the latest trend is sending your message of gratitude or congratulations via the Internet. While this is most expedient and accessible, email is not a substitute for the personal handwritten message. If you need to send information to your associate following the business meal, by all means, use the Internet and include a word of thanks. However, don't overlook taking a few more minutes to put your appreciation on paper and using the US Postal Service. Technology has allowed us to respond quickly and efficiently to our business partners and colleagues, but, in many cases, it has made us remote. Good business relationships require a personal touch.

Expressing condolences is never an easy matter. In times of grief and loss, there is often confusion about how and when to respond. When a colleague, an associate, or a member of a coworker's family dies, people can become frozen in place. Because they lack the confidence or the knowledge of what to do, they end up doing nothing at all. That is the worst response. If you find yourself in this situation, there are clear and uncomplicated choices for action.

Send a letter or a note of sympathy as soon as possible. If the person was well known to you, you will have more to say. However, it is not necessary to write a lengthy letter. A few thoughtful sentences are enough to let the surviving family members know that you care.

Choose quality stationary and write the letter by hand. Only in extreme cases of totally illegible handwriting would you consider typing this kind of correspondence.

Another choice is to purchase a sympathy card with a message already printed on it. This is my least favorite option, because it can seem cold or impersonal. If you choose to send a printed card, add a sentence or two in your own hand.

Remember to sign your card. You might think that would be obvious, but in their confusion and sorrow, people often overlook this step, and families receive expressions of sympathy that were not intended to be anonymous.

Depending upon your relationship to the deceased, you may want to do more than send a note or card. Today many families prefer to have donations made to specific charities rather than receive flowers. Always check the obituary notice for this information or contact the funeral home. The amount you decide to donate in someone's memory is purely personal and will not be shared with the family.

We all make mistakes, but often it is hard to admit them and more difficult yet to say those key words, "I'm sorry." When you have offended someone in business, a sincere apology is essential if you wish to continue the relationship and move on. Some times words are enough. Other times a note should be sent, and depending on the offense and the relationship with the other person, a gift may be in order.

The most important thing is to apologize immediately. If you are with the person at the time of the offense-perhaps you have made an ill-chosen remark---say you are sorry right then. Look and sound as if you mean it.

If you find out after the fact that you have wronged someone, call or visit the person right away. Don't let any time elapse before you apologize. The longer you wait the more difficult it will be become and the less sincere you will seem. The harm you may have done will solidify with the passage of time unless you react with speed. .

The spoken word is rarely enough. After you have said, "I'm sorry," Go on record with a note that offers lasting proof of your sincerity. As always, a handwritten note implies extra effort.

There are times when a small gift accompanying your apology is appropriate. Flowers are the most traditional way to show regret, but a personalized gift, such as golf balls for the golfer, will demonstrate your thoughtfulness.

It is never too late to ask forgiveness. If you find out well after the fact that you have offended someone, apologize then. Chances are that person still remembers and will appreciate your effort to set things right.

No matter what the circumstances that caused the problem, no one wants or needs to hear a list of excuses. Maybe you had just had a root canal when you uttered that thoughtless comment---it doesn't matter and should not be part of your apology.

Finally, if you are tempted to send an e-mail to express your regret, don't. E-mail communication may be speedy, but it is too impersonal when you are begging forgiveness.

Giving gifts in business is a way of developing and maintaining relationships. It may be done between the company and its customers, between the company and its employees or among employees within the company. When handled in the right way, gifts bring pleasure to the giver and the recipient. Done improperly, gift giving can create problems and generate negative feelings. Before you venture forth to purchase that business gift, you need to consider a number of factors.

Know the company policy. That means being aware of your own company's policy and that of the recipient's company. It's easy enough to check within your own organization; however, it may not be so simple to find out if your customer may accept a gift. If you have doubts, be prepared that your gift might be refused and accept the refusal graciously.

Learn what the gift giving traditions are in your organization. Find out what has gone on in the past. Depending on your position, you may decide to start a new tradition; but be sensitive to history.

Know when it is appropriate to offer gifts. Occasions for gift giving in business fall into six categories: family, personal, company, employee recognition, thank you and holiday. Family events are births, weddings and funerals. Personal occasions are birthdays and illness. Promotions, retirement and other work-related milestones are times for company recognition. Sadly, thank you gifts around the office are the exception rather than the rule.

Remember that one size does not fit all. Select gifts that reflect the taste, interests and culture of the other person, and try to connect them to office or work. Since this is about business, your gifts should be professional and send a positive message about your organization.