Who is Byron Katie

"He should respect my boundaries!" she cried. "He does as he pleases, I just don't exist. He come and goes as he pleases, he stays up late, wakes up late, doesn't clean the house, doesn't even put his dirty socks in the laundry basket. I'm so sick of it, can you not talk to him and put some reasonability into his head?!"

My friend was really upset. As we were sipping our tea, it seemed that she got more and more upset. She came up with even more examples of her boyfriend's misbehaving, and she almost started crying.

"What did you say you wanted me to do?" I asked. "Just talk to him. Maybe if YOU tell him, he will finally understand that this is childish behavior", she responded. She continued, "My Mom and my sister agree totally with me, he just does not want to listen to them, it's so annoying!"

I looked at her, and imagined how it must feel to be in the place where she was. Agony, anger, frustration....Not a pretty idea. I responded her in a way she would not even have imagined, I'm one of her best friends. But I did learn something crucial to my own happiness: I can not change any one else. NEVER. So I told her: "If you want me to give a try, and change him, forget about that. I am not even going to think about the possibility. If you ask me to change your thought patterns, so that you can be happy again, sure, I'm always in for that."

She stomped out of the tearoom, slamming the door behind her. The other clients looked disturbed, some looked curious.