How to become happy in 15 minutes!
"He should respect my boundaries!" she cried. "He does as he pleases, I just don't exist. He come and goes as he pleases, he stays up late, wakes up late, doesn't clean the house, doesn't even put his dirty socks in the laundry basket. I'm so sick of it, can you not talk to him and put some reasonability into his head?!"
My friend was really upset. As we were sipping our tea, it seemed that she got more and more upset. She came up with even more examples of her boyfriend's misbehaving, and she almost started crying.
"What did you say you wanted me to do?" I asked. "Just talk to him. Maybe if YOU tell him, he will finally understand that this is childish behavior", she responded. She continued, "My Mom and my sister agree totally with me, he just does not want to listen to them, it's so annoying!"
I looked at her, and imagined how it must feel to be in the place where she was. Agony, anger, frustration....Not a pretty idea. I responded her in a way she would not even have imagined, I'm one of her best friends. But I did learn something crucial to my own happiness: I can not change any one else. NEVER. So I told her: "If you want me to give a try, and change him, forget about that. I am not even going to think about the possibility. If you ask me to change your thought patterns, so that you can be happy again, sure, I'm always in for that."
She stomped out of the tearoom, slamming the door behind her. The other clients looked disturbed, some looked curious.
Three reasons to love Byron Katie
I was referring to Byron Katie's The Work, a technique I learned some years ago, and which is still having a major impact on my wellbeing and happiness. I dare to state, that all my relationships have benefited from it big time.Byron Katie's The Work gives you a sudden insight to your own way of looking at the world.
Whatever you focus on, you will get more of.
Katie teaches you to make the difference the A.A.'s prayer talks about:
Dear Lord
Give me the patience to bear what I cannot change
Give me the strength to change what I can change
Give me the wisdom to know the difference
Amen
As soon as I realized that I am not the one who has to change other people, my life changed. I realized that it is actually over the top to even think that I am in a place to tell others how to be and think! I also realized that if I keep comparing myself to others or to the image I make of my ideal self, that will not actually help me to become happy.
What happened next....
After a week my friend dropped me an e-mail. She said she was sorry for the scene in the tearoom, but that she really expected me, as a good friend, to support her instead of making life even harder. I was happy that she sent a mail, so i could respond and explain why I had reacted like that. I even included a link to one of Byron Katie's videos about a similar issue.After a couple of days I got an SMS, if I wanted to join up for a cup of tea. She told me that her way of looking at herself, her boyfriend, and her family had changed a lot since our last contact.
I was so happy to see that she rattled on about the videos she had seen, the talks she had had with her mom and her sister, and that life in general seemed to have shifted completely within a couple of days.
I don't mind if she gives me the credit, I'm just happy that she is happier than she was, and I am happy that Universe gave me the opportunity to show her the way.
About Byron Katie
in my own words
One morning, Byron Katie woke up on a floor. She suddenly realized that she was not her story, and that everything she was going through was originating in her mind. The story is always worse than the reality, and she felt like she had woken up from a bad dream.Since that day, she is traveling the world to bring this awareness to as many people as she can. She has helped so many people, directly and indirectly, it is amazing. Her videos on YouTube, her website, her books... they all have an enormous impact on everybody who gets in contact with them.
My life definitely changed 180º, and I feel it as my duty and mission to spread the word as much as I can. If you join me, the world will absolutely change for the better.
If you want more
Free resources for instant happiness
Easy Inner Peace Blog
LATEST NEWS:
The workshop I attended in Amsterdam with Katie herself was absolutely smashing.
The energy was fabulous, and Katie herself is such a loving, warm person.
Thank you Katie for visiting Amsterdam, and thank you for the opportunity to experience The Work in a life workshop...
I will never forget it!
If you like this lens, please rate it with the stars at the top, favorite it at the right, and Digg it! For an explanation about Digg, have a look at Diggexplained. It helps you to get visitors too. Become my friend at Digg, and I will return the favour (my username is charkamman) See you there and Thanks!
A little comment on this site will be very much appreciated, and of course I will return the favour!
Read my step family blog
beating the odds
Fetching RSS feed... please stand byIf you like these stories
go to
- Stepfamilyheaven
- Stepfamily Heaven is the home to the Stepfamily Angel. She helps you to create happiness and harmony in your (new) family. The tips and tricks, and the insights she gives you, are applicable in a wide range of situations: The relationship with your boss, colleagues, partner, children, parents will benefit greatly from the knowledge and wisdom she shares freely with you.
Take the test, download the free e-book, enroll for the 6 week free e-course. Enjoy!
Quick, what do you think of Byron Katie?
Great Byron Katie stuff from Amazon
Shout Out For Byron Katie!
Share your stories, sightings, thoughts, rants, raves...
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Reply
- WendyKrick WendyKrick Jul 16, 2009 @ 12:00 pm
- I love her and I love this lens. Good Stuff!
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Reply
- spirituality spirituality Apr 13, 2009 @ 5:35 am
- Great lens - you've been blessed by a squidoo angel :)
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Reply
- mhils59 mhils59 Feb 23, 2009 @ 5:56 pm
- Thanks for the write-up on Byron Katie. I read about her a few years ago and she was wonderful to read. You did a great informative job.
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Reply
- poutine poutine Jan 8, 2009 @ 11:44 am
- I found out about your lens from Seth's ebook.
What a thrill it must be to be included in his book.
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Reply
- AdrienneJenkins AdrienneJenkins Dec 10, 2008 @ 9:20 pm
- Congratulations on being included in Seth's e-book!
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Reply
- jacquelinestone jacquelinestone Oct 21, 2008 @ 4:15 pm
- Hi, Charkamman!
I've enjoyed learning about Katie's life and work.
Your lens would be a great additon to Who's Who in Personal and Spiritual Growth.
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Reply
- Jun 17, 2008 @ 4:17 am
- Yes!
what an interesting lens here and Katie is really great person, i like very much.
Checkout my lens that focuses on cosmetic dentists.
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- spirituality spirituality May 4, 2008 @ 5:30 am
- It's so true: you can't change other people, only your own response and inner working.
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- RinchenChodron RinchenChodron Apr 27, 2008 @ 11:33 am
- I loved the real life example you gave! Nice website. For all of you that enjoyed this site I would also recommend Backdoor to Enlightenment.
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- krisManuel krisManuel Apr 25, 2008 @ 3:12 pm
- Great info. 5*!
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Look at the short video below to see what you are contributing to:
Chimp Haven
Chimp Haven chimpanzee retirement sanctuary
Chimp Haven is a sanctuary for chimpanzees retired from medical research. Watch as some of the more than 100 chimpanzees rediscover their chimpanzee roots. For more information visit www.chimphaven.org
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Byron Katie's Books...
Worthwhile the read.
Amazon Spotlight
A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are
Amazon Price: $10.17 (as of 12/27/2009)
This is such a great book.
I read a little chapter every morning and every evening, and boy, it makes me stop my negative thoughts, be in the moment and just be happy...
And lots of food for thought during the day when I realize what my "Gremlin" is telling me!
Investigate
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Turn it around
by charkamman
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