Canada Invades USA

800 Million bottles of Canadian beer will be dumped on the US market at a time when everyone's pocket book is stretched - that is now. The beer will sell for 25 cents a bottle and it is anticipated that even those Americans who don't drink beer, will do so at that price. As our beer is much sronger than theirs, this will most certainly have an adverse effect on their ability to think clearly. Oh My God.

Also, blogs and sites like this one , will also undermine their confidence and self-esteem. If we keep telling them they are stupid, they will believe it even if it is not true. Psycological warfare is just as important as a nuclear bomb.

Also, we will be issuing coupons to stay free in Canada for 3 nights. The coupons will have photos of Canadian girls on them but they of course won't come with the offer (though the Americans will think so). The cold air up here should further numb their brains.

All 118,477 of our fisherman will lay lobster traps along the Canada-US border. These traps are of course bobby-trapped with a 5 lb lobster and 1 stick of dynamite. Only 1 stick of dynamite is used per trap as we don't want to kill them, just immobilize them.

We've called up the Beaver Brigade who are stationed 1 mile inside our borders in case some of the Americans get through as we push further south into their territory. They will be armed to the teeth and are authorized to bite first and ask questions later. Also, they may use their hard flat tails to interrogate spies.

Our Eskimos are ready - 21,313,909 with harpoons in hand. The women and those under 16 must stay put in their igloos until the outcome of our invasion is certain. It is unknown where these Eskimos will be placed but Zut Radio believes that more than half of them will be used in the front line of our invasion. The others will likely defend our major villages in the event that the Americans counter-attack.

Once we are certain that we have worn down their confidence and self-esteem, we will begin our invasion.

We have 2,190 canoes at our disposal - over half of which have 50 mm rapid firing canoe paddles. They will be sent across the Great Lakes bringing us well into US territory.

We recently purcahsed 5 helicopters from England and hope to utilize them once we learn how to turn on the engines.

Our farmers are putting all their rotten veggies and fruits into sheds so that we have built up a solid and powerful arsenal once we are ready to "spring" our attack. These WMD's will be fired from powerful sling-shots that our children are currently making while at school.

Our 3 main areas of attack will be Hollywood, Boston and Washington DC.

Hollywood is essential to capture because we can then shut down their Movie and TV industry. Americans will then go into depression, clearing the way for a quick and decisivie victory.

Capturing Boston, one of their oldest cities, will be a slap in their faces. Also, we get to own the Boston Red Sox and the Boston Bruins that way and that's a good thing.

Taking Washington quickly is also most important. Once we get our hands on this Obama fellow, we can ransom him off for the entire Kentucky Fried Chicken Kingdom as well as the Statue of Liberty.

Canadian Officials anticipate that our invasion should be complete on our Nation's Birthday - July 1, 2009. What a party that will be !!!

None at this time but as Zut Radio learns more ... you too will learn more.