"CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER?"
"Can we get back together?" is a question on many peoples lips after a relationship has hit the rocks. Its a sad time and, for many, an emotional crisis. How did the breakup happen? Why did it happen? 'Can we get back together?'
The Truth with a capital T is always a coin with two sides. One side of the coin of Truth says that couples separate for many reasons: 'He was unfaithful!' 'She nagged me to death!' 'He had nasty habits!' 'She was too critical!' 'He was always out with his mates and had no time for me!' 'She went off sex!' 'He drank too much!' 'She was becoming like her mother!' etc etc. The discernable reasons for a relationship failure are many and various. This is one side of the coin of Truth.
The other side of the coin of Truth says that there is but one reason for breakups and it is a simple reason. Although there is just one simple reason for breakups, no-one knows about it because it is not easy to spot. No-one understands the simple reason for breakups because it would require a complete paradigm shift in the way a person thinks about the world and life in general. In order to present this paradigm shift let's go back to first principles and ask ourselves: 'How does the world really work?'
The Truth with a capital T is always a coin with two sides. One side of the coin of Truth says that couples separate for many reasons: 'He was unfaithful!' 'She nagged me to death!' 'He had nasty habits!' 'She was too critical!' 'He was always out with his mates and had no time for me!' 'She went off sex!' 'He drank too much!' 'She was becoming like her mother!' etc etc. The discernable reasons for a relationship failure are many and various. This is one side of the coin of Truth.
The other side of the coin of Truth says that there is but one reason for breakups and it is a simple reason. Although there is just one simple reason for breakups, no-one knows about it because it is not easy to spot. No-one understands the simple reason for breakups because it would require a complete paradigm shift in the way a person thinks about the world and life in general. In order to present this paradigm shift let's go back to first principles and ask ourselves: 'How does the world really work?'
How the world really works.
We are told that science describes the world and that everything is predictable. If we had enough information at an instant in time and knew the scientific laws governing how things interacted, we could predict everything that would ever happen.....including the fact that you have suffered a broken relationship and are now reading this article looking for answers. It was all predictable.
It is true that a part of the world is predictable and we have created a whole world of technology using the predictable part of reality. But another part of the world, relationships and human affairs, is inherently surprising. This is a big thing to say. The world wants to surprise us and will. No-one takes this into account.
How do we recognise the inherently surprising part of daily life? We recognise it by spotting 'Living Trends'. Take the proverbs: 'Pride comes before a fall'; 'familiarity breeds contempt'; 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions' etc. These are not old wive's tales. Rather they are 'living trends' and we all participate in them blindly. The outcomes always happen as complete surprises. And so the outcomes of proverbs cannot be proven or predicted with scientific methods. The proud person is always surprised when 'The fall' comes along and he or she is brought down to earth and humiliated.
Many people are over-familiar in their relationships and how surprised they are when 'contempt' arises. They never expected it. A living trend has fulfilled itself in their lives. We are born, we live and are so surprised when sickness and death overtake us. We never planned it that way. Another example: There is over 'confidence' in the stock market and in the banking system. How surprised we are when the credit crunch arrives and 'confidence' goes down the plug hole. Cyclic Living trends within bigger living trends is how the world self-organizes in a surprising way.
It is true that a part of the world is predictable and we have created a whole world of technology using the predictable part of reality. But another part of the world, relationships and human affairs, is inherently surprising. This is a big thing to say. The world wants to surprise us and will. No-one takes this into account.
How do we recognise the inherently surprising part of daily life? We recognise it by spotting 'Living Trends'. Take the proverbs: 'Pride comes before a fall'; 'familiarity breeds contempt'; 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions' etc. These are not old wive's tales. Rather they are 'living trends' and we all participate in them blindly. The outcomes always happen as complete surprises. And so the outcomes of proverbs cannot be proven or predicted with scientific methods. The proud person is always surprised when 'The fall' comes along and he or she is brought down to earth and humiliated.
Many people are over-familiar in their relationships and how surprised they are when 'contempt' arises. They never expected it. A living trend has fulfilled itself in their lives. We are born, we live and are so surprised when sickness and death overtake us. We never planned it that way. Another example: There is over 'confidence' in the stock market and in the banking system. How surprised we are when the credit crunch arrives and 'confidence' goes down the plug hole. Cyclic Living trends within bigger living trends is how the world self-organizes in a surprising way.
A Poem
Like a circle within a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel.
Never ending or beginning, on an ever spinning reel.
Like snowball down a mountain, like a carnival balloon.
Like a carousel that's turning, running rings around the moon.
Like a clock whose hands are ticking past the minutes of its face.
And the world is like an apple spinning silently in space.
Like the circles that you find, in the windmills of your mind.
Living trends!
Never ending or beginning, on an ever spinning reel.
Like snowball down a mountain, like a carnival balloon.
Like a carousel that's turning, running rings around the moon.
Like a clock whose hands are ticking past the minutes of its face.
And the world is like an apple spinning silently in space.
Like the circles that you find, in the windmills of your mind.
Living trends!
There are two sides to the coin of Truth.
People imagine that they are 'in control in the house of their minds'.....that they choose their thoughts, feelings and responses to events. Free will does exist, but this is only one side of the coin of Truth. The other side of the coin of Truth is that people are also 'driven' by their thoughts and feelings. If you sit down and try to empty your mind you will find that you can't do it. A 'power' within you will cause thoughts and feelings to arise continually and without your permission. This is the very same 'power' that drives the living trends in which you participate without knowing it.
'Life' itself is a 'power' that manifests through the minds of couples in relationships. 'Life' is purposive and it will drive the relationship along a certain pattern of development....a living trend. Relationships usually start out well. There is a 'honey moon' period when things are sweet. But the moon waxes and wanes and the 'honey moon' comes to and end at some point in the cycle of a living trend. 'Sweetness' turns to 'sourness' in the minds of loving couples. One or other or both of the participants are 'made' to do a whole variety of things that irritate and annoy the other. It is a short step from there to separation and the divorce court. And no-one will suspect the real 'power' that has gripped the relationship from start to finish. A living trend will have fulfilled itself in a relationship that began well and ended in a way that was never planned and came as a complete surprise.
Whilst science and predictability are one side of the Coin of Truth, the other side is the holistic world of living trends that operate in a surprising way in our everyday affairs.
When a relationship follows the cyclic pattern of a living trend, no-one is really to blame for the outcome. Each of the partners has diminished responsibility because free will has been eclipsed by a 'power' that has not been recognised. Every day when the couple got out of bed, they failed to realize they were really going to war.....not with each other nor with anyone else, but with a 'power' that seeks to fulfill itself in a cycle of 'opposites'. It is not possible to live on this planet without a special strategy for living and it is one that is counter intuitive.
No-one knows anything about this special strategy, so nothing works and even if it appears to be working, it is only for a time. And then it fails. Everything! Relationships end in tears eventually.
'Life' itself is a 'power' that manifests through the minds of couples in relationships. 'Life' is purposive and it will drive the relationship along a certain pattern of development....a living trend. Relationships usually start out well. There is a 'honey moon' period when things are sweet. But the moon waxes and wanes and the 'honey moon' comes to and end at some point in the cycle of a living trend. 'Sweetness' turns to 'sourness' in the minds of loving couples. One or other or both of the participants are 'made' to do a whole variety of things that irritate and annoy the other. It is a short step from there to separation and the divorce court. And no-one will suspect the real 'power' that has gripped the relationship from start to finish. A living trend will have fulfilled itself in a relationship that began well and ended in a way that was never planned and came as a complete surprise.
Whilst science and predictability are one side of the Coin of Truth, the other side is the holistic world of living trends that operate in a surprising way in our everyday affairs.
When a relationship follows the cyclic pattern of a living trend, no-one is really to blame for the outcome. Each of the partners has diminished responsibility because free will has been eclipsed by a 'power' that has not been recognised. Every day when the couple got out of bed, they failed to realize they were really going to war.....not with each other nor with anyone else, but with a 'power' that seeks to fulfill itself in a cycle of 'opposites'. It is not possible to live on this planet without a special strategy for living and it is one that is counter intuitive.
No-one knows anything about this special strategy, so nothing works and even if it appears to be working, it is only for a time. And then it fails. Everything! Relationships end in tears eventually.
Good News!
There is good news though because a way exists to escape the sorrow after a breakup. The 'present moment' is a refuge from events that have occured in the past and a haven from contemplation of a possible dark future yet to come . When you are sad in remembrance of a love that has been lost in a breakup, just gently, but firmly, bring your mind back into the here and now. A 'power' in you will try to force you back into negative thoughts and feelings about the past. Make no mistake, you are fighting a war and it is a fight you can win with a special tactic. Don't force the negativity out of your mind because this would amount to suppression and you will get a backlash of negativity. Be gentle, but firm, with yourself. There is a law of the universe that says: 'Never go beyond what is just enough'. Therefore use 'just enough' effort to coerce your mind onto what is happening in the present moment. You aren't punishing yourself, but helping the mind to relinquish its sadness and hurt and finding peace in the here and now. This is how the war with negativity and heart-ache after a breakup can be won.
The answer you've been looking for.
Many people in a breakup will be asking themselves: 'can we get back together?" The answer is an emphatic: 'Yes you can!' ....with special counter-intuitive tactics. Just click through here to watch T W ('Dub') Jackson's two short videos on the magic of making up after a breakup. His tactics worked for me....so you are in for a surprise, a nice one.
Ok, I've enjoyed having this little gesture with you in this article. If you feel that I've imparted something interesting, valuable or challenging about life and pointed you in the direction of good old T 'Dub' Jackson, then there is something you can do for me. Another law of the universe says that: 'All debts to life have to be repaid'. Therefore if you decide to buy T 'Dub's ebook on The Magic of Making Up, you can repay me for showing you the way by clicking through here to make your payment......you will be happy to know I will get a small commission on the sale. Because I know about living trends, in my mind, its a done deal. So, thanks in advance and good luck to you. Tom.
P.S. As an added inducement for you to click through to buy T 'Dub' jackson's ebook on the Magic of Making Up from this page, I am prepared to send you my ebook on the nature of reality and the meaning of life completely FREE. You will need to send me your clickbank receipt showing my affiliate link as proof of purchase. Anyway, read about my ebook here
When you have purchased T 'Dub's book, email me using a link on the angelfire site.
Ok, I've enjoyed having this little gesture with you in this article. If you feel that I've imparted something interesting, valuable or challenging about life and pointed you in the direction of good old T 'Dub' Jackson, then there is something you can do for me. Another law of the universe says that: 'All debts to life have to be repaid'. Therefore if you decide to buy T 'Dub's ebook on The Magic of Making Up, you can repay me for showing you the way by clicking through here to make your payment......you will be happy to know I will get a small commission on the sale. Because I know about living trends, in my mind, its a done deal. So, thanks in advance and good luck to you. Tom.
P.S. As an added inducement for you to click through to buy T 'Dub' jackson's ebook on the Magic of Making Up from this page, I am prepared to send you my ebook on the nature of reality and the meaning of life completely FREE. You will need to send me your clickbank receipt showing my affiliate link as proof of purchase. Anyway, read about my ebook here
When you have purchased T 'Dub's book, email me using a link on the angelfire site.
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