How-To Capture An Alien (ET) From Another Planet

There is no shortcut to finding and capturing aliens. It will take some dedication and work, but the results will be worth it. You will need to prepare yourself ahead of time by putting together the right resources to allow you to be successful. This includes the right tools for the job at hand. If you truly want to capture an alien, consider investing in the following:

An older late 80's or early 90's SUV or cargo van in excellent running condition- This means a good starter, heavy duty altenator and a minimum of computerized systems in the vehicle. This is due to electromagnetic interference that can occur from the propulsion systems of UFO's. The easiest way to do this is line the engine compartment with a lead liner, which you can compile from common lead vests found in medical offices for X-rays. Most medical suppliers have such vests. Simply attach the lead vests to the inside of the engine compartment. Also, make sure to have a spare battery in case your vehicle gets "attacked" with an EMP wave from a UFO looking for their captured comrade. The large area in back makes a great area to hold an alien for transportation. Consider adding high power running lights to your vehicle in case you have to chase an alien trying to get away.

A cage or holding pen You will need some sort of holding area such as a large dog kennel or animal transport. Since you will more than likely be dealing with the smaller "grey" aliens, they will fit nicely in a large dog kennel. Please note: we do NOT advocate or endorse violence against aliens. We advocate the capture, profit and release method to hand your capture over to an organization that can do something productive with the alien.

Of course, by anyone's laws on Earth, if you happen to need to use force to capture an alien that is intruding in someone's home, it would be doubtful you would be charged with a crime, after all, these aliens are sneaking into people's homes to ABDUCT them. Turnabout is fair play in my book.

Geiger counter and testing equipment Don't end up with cancer in a few years. Make sure you do not enter "hot" areas or "traps" that are full of radioactivity. These areas come from UFO activity and their propulsion systems. Stay away from the UFO if at all possible. Do not enter the UFO!

Stun guns, pepper spray, rope, burlap sacks and sedative injections. You will need these items to help in an orderly capture your alien.

There are many more items you will need, but these listed will give you a very good start quickly.

You can't just go out and find aliens on the street. You need to put yourself in a position where aliens are likely to appear. In most cases this means you will need to find a person or group of people that have been abducted by aliens- (or those that have made that claim). To find these people, you will need to place an ad in your local paper or craigslist with the following:

Have You Had An Alien Encounter?
We would like to hear your story.
Confidential. Compensation
available. Please call xxx-xxxx.

You will obviously get many crank calls and flakes. You must screen your prospects carefully which takes some skill. You will need look for the following:

Credible, plausible stories.
Genuine people
RECENT activity
Actual abduction experience.

Next, you will want to meet with your prospect, and gather as much information in person as possible. Tell the prospect you would like to help the person end the abduction encounters by capturing the alien(s) in question, and compensate the prospect for their cooperation from the compensation generated from the alien captured. Normally, you will be looking at a 1 in 8 to a 1 in 10 rate of response. In other words 1 person out of 8- or 10 will be a prospect for you.

The next step, after you have gained the prospects confidence and cooperation in this matter, is to plan your effort to capture the alien. After all, nobody wants to get abducted in their sleep and your service could put an end to this problem. In most cases, this means staking out the prospects residence, which may sometimes involve one or two months of effort before you produce results.

You absolutely want another person involved in this phase, a helper that can provide company, alleviate fear and help subdue the alien. If you do not have a friend, you could place an ad or hire a helper from a temp service.

Usually, aliens that appear will arrive in some sort of UFO, very late at night, while your prospect (the bait) is sleeping. You will want to have a helper outside the home, as a lookout to alert you to an approaching UFO. You will want to be inside the home, near the sleeping area of your prospect in question. Keep your distance, and wear dark colors to disguise yourself.

Now comes the exciting part. Most of the small gray aliens are 3-5 feet tall, with a slim build and big heads. Your best method of capture is to shoot them with a stun gun to disrupt both their bodies and their mental powers. Once you do this, use pepper spray and go for the big eyes. This will further disorient them and allow you and your helper the opportunity to "bag" them with a burlap bag. The aliens are not all that strong and make high pitched squealing sounds, and may begin chattering in alien language. Do not fear, a bear hug will work nicely and wrap a rope loosely around the bag and cage them in your van.

You might be terrified by the idea of trying to capture an alien in a dark room. You need to desensitize yourself to this fear by doing the following:

Watching key movies alone in a dark basement such as "Fire In The Sky" or "The Fourth Kind" even "Close Encounters Of The Third Kind".
Role playing with your helper or even a child pretending to be an alien.
Read all you can about aliens, such as the book "Communion" or books by Budd Hopkins.
Tape affermations on your wall at home and work such as "Aliens do not scare me" and "I can easily catch aliens" or even "I always find aliens whenever I want to"... such affermations increase your confidence and shatter limiting beliefs that can hamper your efforts.

Before you actually capture your alien, make sure you have several sources available that would be happy to purchase a captured alien. Here are the top 4 entities that will pay you instantly for a live alien.

1. Your local FBI office. Get the phone number of key field officers in advance so you can call after you get a capture. DO NOT call them before your have a captured alien or you might end up arrested.
2. A local military base. Again, get the number of key people BEFORE you haul in your capture.
3. A local USDA office. This might not sound like an obvious choice but they are involved deeply with government research and can have access to CASH.
4. A local post office or federal building. Again, these government officials can get cash for you immediately.

You might wonder why wouldn't you just keep the alien or blab to the media about your captured alien. The answer here is if you do, expect a ton of unwanted attention and ridicule. Keep it simple and let the pros handle this situation. After all, a captured alien is worth about $3.65 million dollars. Not bad for a part-time effort. Get your share by following the right steps.

Once you have a live, captured alien, leave the prospects home immediately. Drive quickly but CAUTIOUSLY away from the area, keeping an eye on the sky for a UFO that might chase you-- this is where your enhanced SUV or cargo van will come in handy. Also, put a tarp or blanket over the cage to disorient the alien and reduce the chances it might want to communicate with you (or threaten you). You might notice that the alien will try to start with mind tricks like talking inside your head, and you must maintain focus and willpower by disrupting their concentration. You can do this by using your stun gun on the alien if they try mind tricks or turning up the radio loud.

At this point, connect with your pre-arranged government contact and arrange a meeting. Negotiate a price for the alien and request a cash payment at the time of delivery.

Finally, quickly drive to the meeting location, collect your money and drop off your alien. Congratulations, you have just captured your first alien!