Raising Boys

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The Joys of Boys!

I have been the mom of boys (and boys only!)for over a decade now and I simply adore it! I often feel that boys are misunderstood in many ways, and that sometimes leads to less-than-joyful moments for both parents and children.

This lens is fondly dedicated to all the "boy-moms" out there who have heard "So, are you going to try for the girl?" or "Gee, you must be disappointed you don't have a daughter" (or some variation thereof) more times than you can shake a great big stick at. Oh, and by the way, "NO!" and "NO!" :)

Letting Boys Be Who They Are

Boys DO cry, and we need to acknowledge that. It's high time we ditched all those outdated stereotypes about what boys should and shouldn't be and do. So what if he wants to be a ballet dancer, knit, or sew? Good for him! Embrace that. Let him run with it. He'll be brilliant as long as he's true to himself.

On the other hand, if you have a son whose life revolves entirely around sports, it's important to embrace that too. Not everyone is into sitting around reading and writing all day. There's a place for everyone's talents here on Earth, so please let your boys express their true selves!

Fall leaves are irresistible!

Respecting Boys' Interests

Many things boys are drawn to and passionate about are either not very well respected or openly feared in our society.

Things such as:
-video games
-loud horseplay and physical "goofing around"
-weapons and battles
-science fiction

My boys love all of these. There was a time when I was very uncomfortable with the idea of my children playing video games or engaging in swordplay. Thankfully, through carefully observing my boys and their interests, I have come to understand how valid their interests are, and how important these things are for their emotional and mental development.

Many boys I know (including mine) are not that interested in reading books, at least not what are considered "real books". Most boys I know are quite happy to spend hours poring over a Nintendo Power or Lego magazine, or a graphic novel. They are also using plenty of reading and writing skills while they are playing online multiplayer games! Again, these should not be seen as "lesser than" activities. They are engaging their hearts and their minds with these activities. We should be ENCOURAGING our boys to do things they love, not coercing them away from their passions to do what we think is more "appropriate".

Required Reading for Parents of Boys

Real Boys : Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood

by: William Pollack

Amazon Price: $11.56 (as of 11/23/2009)

Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys

by: Dan Kindlon, Michael Thompson

Amazon Price: $9.50 (as of 11/23/2009)

Everything Bad is Good for You

by: Steven Johnson

Amazon Price: $10.20 (as of 11/23/2009)

Don't Bother Me Mom--I'm Learning!

by: Marc Prensky

Amazon Price: $13.57 (as of 11/23/2009)

Great Books for Boys

by: Kathleen Odean

Amazon Price: $10.17 (as of 11/23/2009)

For some reason I have a lot of tree photos!

Understanding Your Boys' Needs

15 Step Program to Help Boys: By William Pollack (author of Real Boys)
"...What we really want is for our boys to become strong, authentic individuals, to become capable both of acting heroically and of maintaining strong affectionate relationships to spouses, children, parents, co-workers, neighbors and friends."
Getting Behind the Mask: Honoring boys' emotional needs
Soccer Can Wait: Our children know what they need - we just need to follow their lead.
The Feelings of Children: Not focussed specifically on boys, but an excellent read nonetheless.
Getting Out of the Way: Give your boys the freedom to be themselves.

Things I've Learned from Raising Boys

1.SUPERHERO MOVIES ARE COOL.
Seriously, I had no idea I loved Spiderman, Batman or the Fantastic Four until I started taking them to these movies. So much fun!

2.REPTILES MAKE GOOD PETS.
Well, at least Bearded Dragons do, anyway. We have owned one for almost 4 years now, thanks to my older son's passion for all things reptilian. No, they're NOT slimy!

3. IT'S OKAY TO GET DIRTY.
It washes off. Really.

Bearded Dragons are great family pets

Lego - One of the All-Time Best Boys' Toys!

Lego Crazy Action Contraptions: A LEGO Inventions Book (Klutz)

Great Movies About Boys

Cool Activities for Boys

Backyard Ballistics: Build Potato Cannons, Paper Match Rockets, Cincinnati Fire Kites, Tennis Ball Mortars, and More Dynamite Devices

by: William Gurstelle

Amazon Price: $11.53 (as of 11/23/2009)

The Art of the Catapult: Build Greek Ballistae, Roman Onagers, English Trebuchets, and More Ancient Artillery

My Boys' Picks

Knights of the Kitchen Table (Time Warp Trio)

Have something to say about raising boys? I'd love to hear it!

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Summitmom Summitmom Jul 12, 2008 @ 6:14 pm

I have 5 boys!! I am sick of people asking me about whether I am sorry I didnt have girls or am trying for one. For me it is also no and no. LOL
It took me awhile to figure out that boys just don't know how to be quiet :-)

great lens!! I can relate

Amy aka Summitmom

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Kathy Kathy Jul 8, 2008 @ 9:23 am

I love your squidoo page! My 2 boys have a fascination with electricity. That's one area where I really have a LOT to learn!

Reply

Jacqueline Jacqueline Apr 7, 2008 @ 6:22 pm

I too have 2 boys and have had to learn from them about what is important to them and how my views could have spoiled it for them. I am learning to enjoy the playstation games and rough and tumble games. I love being a mum to these 2 great guys and I love reading what you have written

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KarenMcLaughlin

by KarenMcLaughlin

I am an unschooling mom of two amazing boys and have been happily married to my high school sweetie since 1995. We share our lives with four pets: a l... (more)

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