Christmas with your Cat

At all times a cat should strive to look his best.

I have always kept myself groomed to perfection although, in these my vintage years, I may sometimes require a little assistance when it comes to knotty tail fur and other unaesthetic annoyances.

During the festive season, this is even more important than ever. When guests can unexpectedly knock at the door, who wants to be discovered in a state of deshabille?

I recommend an extra dust bath each morning, followed by strenuous rasping of the tongue as far around and down as possible.

If you experience difficulties in reaching certain spots, merely approach your human and place yourself in a prominent position for close eye contact. Look mournful.

The most advantageous spot to place yourself is on the kitchen table, preferably when a new tablecloth (white tablecloths are best) has just been set out. This always spurs your human to action.

I do get so tired of humans passing each other information on cat-proofing a Christmas Tree. I ask you, why bring a tree into the house if it's not for the enjoyment of all who reside therein?

A tree right there inside the house, with lots of branches to climb, toys hung invitingly on every branch, lights to see the toys better.... what a joy!

Many humans will even put the trees in front of the window to ensure an excellent view from the top.

When I was a young kitten, the woman used to keep a small spray bottle full of water nearby and spritz me when I attempted my trek to the top of the tree. I have forgiven her for this affront, I was young at the time. So was she.

Important !! : I have seen alleged 'advice' given to spray the tree with citronella or products based in citrus oil. Citrus Oil is Poison! Please read these notes on Common Household Items which are Poisonous to Cats.

A Cat in Danger!

Be realistic - your cat will try to climb all over the Christmas Tree, and, take my word for it, sooner rather than later.

Make your Christmas tree as stable as possible. The base must a lot heavier than the top

If you have a live tree, never let us drink from the water in the tree stand. Commonly, aspirin or special chemicals are used to help preserve the tree . Deadly stuff for cats!

While I am on the subject of plants...

Holly, mistletoe, poinsettias, ivy and Christmas roses are all harmful to cats. Holly and mistletoe can be fatal!

Poinsettias and ivy bring on bad digestive upset and pine needles when swallowed can pierce internal organs.

Keep these away from us.

Cat Relaxing Under Christmas Tree: Buy at AllPosters.com

Don't use tinsel around cats! We can chew on it and choke, and if we manage to swallow it, we sustain serious internal injury.

Contact the vet immediately if your cat has swallowed any tinsel.

Image from free christmas wallpapers

Never allow any strange humans - even if they are closely connected to your own- to drape you in objects which hold Yuletide significance for the great mass of humanity. By this I mean no scratchy coloured paper ruffs and definitely no silly Santa Caps. Exceptions can be made if the item of finery is tasteful and discreet. A small ribbon, in red or green, is perfectly acceptable and does not make a cat look foolish.

You may, depending on your mood and if you're feeling particularly mellow at the time, allow a photograph to be taken of yourself. If a flashbulb is used - leave the room immediately.

If your own human insists on bedecking you with some bauble that only a dog would wear, make your feelings known in no uncertain manner.

If you must burn candles, please do so safely. I realise this is difficult for some humans to comprehend, but we are naturally curious!

Many a cat has ended up with burns to the nose, paws or tail from getting too close to a flame.

We have tails too, long, swishy tails.One swish, a candle tumbles over -- and swoosh!

This may seem a superfluous item of information but I will state it just the same for the benefit of those people who perform outrageous acts at Christmastime and forget what food they leave around for a cat to nibble..

Cats eat cat food!

Don't tempt me with any of your rich exotic Christmas delicacies. Don't leave chocolate lying around, or sweet puddings, rum balls, macaroons, marzipan or Christmas cake with icing. Please! We are cats, not people. This food makes us sick. Probably on your lap.